When a Woman Isn't In the Mood: Part II

[doodlebugg 10]

One time I was visiting my sister, and she has this weird doofus of a man in her circle of acquaintances, a man whose charms include the insistence that "women don't enjoy sex." She and I had the same thought, "well, maybe not with you..." And this strikes me as similar.

[Caladan 19]

1. If most women wait until they are in the mood before making love with their husband, many women will be waiting a month or more until they next have sex. When most women are young, and for some older women, spontaneously getting in the mood to have sex with the man they love can easily occur. But for most women, for myriad reasons -- female nature, childhood trauma, not feeling sexy, being preoccupied with some problem, fatigue after a day with the children and/or other work, just not being interested -- there is little comparable to a man’s “out of nowhere,” and seemingly constant, desire for sex.

Well, if it's female nature that's keeping Mrs. Prager from putting out, Dennis doesn't have a whole lot of options.

It's interesting that the solution to his wife being too tired for sex is not for him to help with the children, or clean the house, or maybe even proposition her earlier in the evening, but for her to lie there (or else she's not showing him she loves him.) Any good marriage therapist would start with the first few things, not tell the wife to lie back and think of England.

[caybee 21]

Hmm... I'm as pro-women's rights as the next girl but IME there are times when I was maybe tired or not 100% in the mood but after a while got into it.... got REALLY into it.....sometimes the engine just needs some time to warm up

Maybe this guy doesn't give his wife enough foreplay, or even better, 'choreplay'... a tired woman is not a sexy woman.

Good point. I agree with the article to a degree -- as some have said, marriage takes compromise, and "going along" with sex from time to time when a person doesn't really feel like it, as long as the relationship itself is healthy, is just one more compromise. But sometimes it is so easy to help a woman get in the mood. Just 15 minutes of helping to clean up the kitchen for the night can go a long way for some women. Compromise works both ways, and if the gasoline engine will just give the diesel engine a little more time to catch up, they can both end up having more fun.

[LoriLawless 0]

Is it SO difficult to PUT her in the mood?

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Is it SO difficult to PUT her in the mood?

apparently so sister....

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I didn't read the op in full but another big hurdle for a woman (and a man for that matter) is children. There's always a huge amount of nervousness that you'll get caught no matter how late you wait to do the deed, you know? It's like constantly living in your parents house but worse because your parents wouldn't just barge on in and jump on the bed....they'd knock first.

Lock the door?

On the "honey-do" list. lol. It's hard when you've lived with all open doors for ten years. I originally thought that a locked door at night would signal something deeper when he moved in but now I'm rethinking that concept.

Ah, ok. Well, as much as an open door policy sounds nice, a right to privacy, IMO, is much better...even for the kids, because eventually, they'll be locking their doors too once they hit puberty.

Does that extend to the Prager family or are they "fair game?" It seems we have something of a double standard here. I don't particularly care about the Pragers, but their right to privacy is just as valid.

What an odd response. Dennis Prager, like any other celebrity is fair game, particularly when he decides to preach to women about how to be good wives.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I suspect now we know why Prager has been divorced twice.

One time I was visiting my sister, and she has this weird doofus of a man in her circle of acquaintances, a man whose charms include the insistence that "women don't enjoy sex." She and I had the same thought, "well, maybe not with you..." And this strikes me as similar.

There's nothing wrong with deciding to have sex even if you're not really in the mood, or making an effort to keep the sex life active even while tired and or/stressed, but to describe it as a problem with the woman (and suggest that it's then her fault if he strays), or a duty (put out, you #######, or he will find a younger model) is annoying as all get out.

Spot on.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I suspect now we know why Prager has been divorced twice.

One time I was visiting my sister, and she has this weird doofus of a man in her circle of acquaintances, a man whose charms include the insistence that "women don't enjoy sex." She and I had the same thought, "well, maybe not with you..." And this strikes me as similar.

There's nothing wrong with deciding to have sex even if you're not really in the mood, or making an effort to keep the sex life active even while tired and or/stressed, but to describe it as a problem with the woman (and suggest that it's then her fault if he strays), or a duty (put out, you #######, or he will find a younger model) is annoying as all get out.

Spot on.

What that the "G" Spot, or another one???

p.s. AJ needs to come back so I can stop posting like this

[Caladan 19]

I didn't read the op in full but another big hurdle for a woman (and a man for that matter) is children. There's always a huge amount of nervousness that you'll get caught no matter how late you wait to do the deed, you know? It's like constantly living in your parents house but worse because your parents wouldn't just barge on in and jump on the bed....they'd knock first.

Lock the door?

On the "honey-do" list. lol. It's hard when you've lived with all open doors for ten years. I originally thought that a locked door at night would signal something deeper when he moved in but now I'm rethinking that concept.

Ah, ok. Well, as much as an open door policy sounds nice, a right to privacy, IMO, is much better...even for the kids, because eventually, they'll be locking their doors too once they hit puberty.

Does that extend to the Prager family or are they "fair game?" It seems we have something of a double standard here. I don't particularly care about the Pragers, but their right to privacy is just as valid.

What an odd response. Dennis Prager, like any other celebrity is fair game, particularly when he decides to preach to women about how to be good wives.

And I didn't think you were suggesting that the Pragers have open doors or that you should have to watch.

[Nagishkaw 510]

I never have a headache.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I didn't read the op in full but another big hurdle for a woman (and a man for that matter) is children. There's always a huge amount of nervousness that you'll get caught no matter how late you wait to do the deed, you know? It's like constantly living in your parents house but worse because your parents wouldn't just barge on in and jump on the bed....they'd knock first.

Lock the door?

On the "honey-do" list. lol. It's hard when you've lived with all open doors for ten years. I originally thought that a locked door at night would signal something deeper when he moved in but now I'm rethinking that concept.

Ah, ok. Well, as much as an open door policy sounds nice, a right to privacy, IMO, is much better...even for the kids, because eventually, they'll be locking their doors too once they hit puberty.

Does that extend to the Prager family or are they "fair game?" It seems we have something of a double standard here. I don't particularly care about the Pragers, but their right to privacy is just as valid.

What an odd response. Dennis Prager, like any other celebrity is fair game, particularly when he decides to preach to women about how to be good wives.

And I didn't think you were suggesting that the Pragers have open doors or that you should have to watch.

LOL...definitely would kill my mood for a few a days, perhaps weeks.

[DeadPoolX 9]

I didn't read the op in full but another big hurdle for a woman (and a man for that matter) is children. There's always a huge amount of nervousness that you'll get caught no matter how late you wait to do the deed, you know? It's like constantly living in your parents house but worse because your parents wouldn't just barge on in and jump on the bed....they'd knock first.

Lock the door?

On the "honey-do" list. lol. It's hard when you've lived with all open doors for ten years. I originally thought that a locked door at night would signal something deeper when he moved in but now I'm rethinking that concept.

Ah, ok. Well, as much as an open door policy sounds nice, a right to privacy, IMO, is much better...even for the kids, because eventually, they'll be locking their doors too once they hit puberty.

Does that extend to the Prager family or are they "fair game?" It seems we have something of a double standard here. I don't particularly care about the Pragers, but their right to privacy is just as valid.

What an odd response. Dennis Prager, like any other celebrity is fair game, particularly when he decides to preach to women about how to be good wives.

I'd agree that he is, but not his family. I doubt they had a whole lot of input into his article, so they shouldn't be lumped in with him.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I didn't read the op in full but another big hurdle for a woman (and a man for that matter) is children. There's always a huge amount of nervousness that you'll get caught no matter how late you wait to do the deed, you know? It's like constantly living in your parents house but worse because your parents wouldn't just barge on in and jump on the bed....they'd knock first.

Lock the door?

On the "honey-do" list. lol. It's hard when you've lived with all open doors for ten years. I originally thought that a locked door at night would signal something deeper when he moved in but now I'm rethinking that concept.

Ah, ok. Well, as much as an open door policy sounds nice, a right to privacy, IMO, is much better...even for the kids, because eventually, they'll be locking their doors too once they hit puberty.

Does that extend to the Prager family or are they "fair game?" It seems we have something of a double standard here. I don't particularly care about the Pragers, but their right to privacy is just as valid.

What an odd response. Dennis Prager, like any other celebrity is fair game, particularly when he decides to preach to women about how to be good wives.

I'd agree that he is, but not his family. I doubt they had a whole lot of input into his article, so they shouldn't be lumped in with him.

I depends on how private you believe that right be extended to and to the extent that Prager's marriage comes into to scrutiny when he decides he can speak with authority on how women should behave in a marriage.

[DeadPoolX 9]

I didn't read the op in full but another big hurdle for a woman (and a man for that matter) is children. There's always a huge amount of nervousness that you'll get caught no matter how late you wait to do the deed, you know? It's like constantly living in your parents house but worse because your parents wouldn't just barge on in and jump on the bed....they'd knock first.

Lock the door?

On the "honey-do" list. lol. It's hard when you've lived with all open doors for ten years. I originally thought that a locked door at night would signal something deeper when he moved in but now I'm rethinking that concept.

Ah, ok. Well, as much as an open door policy sounds nice, a right to privacy, IMO, is much better...even for the kids, because eventually, they'll be locking their doors too once they hit puberty.

Does that extend to the Prager family or are they "fair game?" It seems we have something of a double standard here. I don't particularly care about the Pragers, but their right to privacy is just as valid.

What an odd response. Dennis Prager, like any other celebrity is fair game, particularly when he decides to preach to women about how to be good wives.

I'd agree that he is, but not his family. I doubt they had a whole lot of input into his article, so they shouldn't be lumped in with him.

I depends on how private you believe that right be extended to and to the extent that Prager's marriage comes into to scrutiny when he decides he can speak with authority on how women should behave in a marriage.

Hmmm... good point.

[NickD 203]

What a stupid topic this is, in nature, there are no limits to how many times a woman can have sex, but with a man, let's say that his batteries have to be recharged.

More like, sorry honey, have to give me a few more minutes for my batteries to recharged, but unfortunately, as time goes by that charging time increases. But may never recharge if that woman let's herself go requiring a two ton pickup to haul her around.

Ever hear that expression that women have their needs? Women love sex too. Must be other problems in their relationship if not.