When a Woman Isn't In the Mood: Part II

[Imua 0]

Hmm... I'm as pro-women's rights as the next girl but IME there are times when I was maybe tired or not 100% in the mood but after a while got into it.... got REALLY into it.....sometimes the engine just needs some time to warm up

Maybe this guy doesn't give his wife enough foreplay, or even better, 'choreplay'... a tired woman is not a sexy woman.

[doodlebugg 10]

To me it's like exercise. You don't really wanna do it but you know once you're half way into it you'll get that second wind and you'll feel so much better after. Just do it.

Hmm... I'm as pro-women's rights as the next girl but IME there are times when I was maybe tired or not 100% in the mood but after a while got into it.... got REALLY into it.....sometimes the engine just needs some time to warm up

Maybe this guy doesn't give his wife enough foreplay, or even better, 'choreplay'... a tired woman is not a sexy woman.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Maybe he has really bad breath? That's a real mood killer.

[Cham 3]

I believe That you dont have to BE in the mood BUT can always GET in the mood...Your married..sex and intimacy is part of BEING married...If you dont want sex then DONT get married or see a doctor why you dont want it.

[RadzNSteve 0]

aw ummm i think i got lost here. what was the subject of this thread?

[DeadPoolX 9]

There is something to be said for "just sucking it up and doing it", pun intended.

However, methinks this guy just doesn't get it when he wants it.

...and this part:

2. Why would a loving, wise woman allow mood to determine whether or not she will give her husband one of the most important expressions of love she can show him? What else in life, of such significance, do we allow to be governed by mood?

I don't know who he is trying to kid, but what the husband is craving for isn't just a need to feel loved by his wife.

Perhaps not, but I understand what the author was saying. Mood isn't a justifiable excuse for most areas of life.

If she's not feeling very keen about having sex with her husband to a point that it becomes a problem in the marriage, then they both should see a therapist. There are many 'turn-offs' as well 'turn-ons' for each partner. It's not very appealing, IMO, for a spouse to be merely going through the motions just to satisfy their husband's sexual appetite.

All in all, I'd have to agree. However, if either partner is denying the other sex (on purpose or not) then a whole multitude of problems can occur.

Inevitably, libido will differ between the two in the couple (usually the man wants it more often, but that doesn't have to be the case). There are 3 options I guess: have as much sex as the man wants, have as much sex as the woman wants, or have some sort of compromise. While, no, it's not pleasant to just be going through the motions, that's part of compromise, doing things you wouldn't do if the choice were solely up to you. So I can see this guy's point.

Steven, would you say that someone should never have sex unless they are in the mood?

Compromise is indeed necessary in any relationship. Perhaps that is why so many marriages fail? Neither side is willing to compromise.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

aw ummm i think i got lost here. what was the subject of this thread?

Mrs. Prager's frigidity.

[Tahoma 2,292]

aw ummm i think i got lost here. what was the subject of this thread?

Mrs. Prager's frigidity.

I like the way you read between the lines.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Inevitably, libido will differ between the two in the couple (usually the man wants it more often, but that doesn't have to be the case). There are 3 options I guess: have as much sex as the man wants, have as much sex as the woman wants, or have some sort of compromise. While, no, it's not pleasant to just be going through the motions, that's part of compromise, doing things you wouldn't do if the choice were solely up to you. So I can see this guy's point.

Steven, would you say that someone should never have sex unless they are in the mood?

I think it's up to the individual. They shouldn't feel pressured out of duty or obligation, but have a willingness to go along with their partner's wishes, IMO.

aw ummm i think i got lost here. what was the subject of this thread?

Mrs. Prager's frigidity.

I like the way you read between the lines.

If I was a radio DJ, I'd find out Dennis Prager's home phone number, call his wife on the air and ask her what the dealio is.

[doodlebugg 10]

I didn't read the op in full but another big hurdle for a woman (and a man for that matter) is children. There's always a huge amount of nervousness that you'll get caught no matter how late you wait to do the deed, you know? It's like constantly living in your parents house but worse because your parents wouldn't just barge on in and jump on the bed....they'd knock first.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I didn't read the op in full but another big hurdle for a woman (and a man for that matter) is children. There's always a huge amount of nervousness that you'll get caught no matter how late you wait to do the deed, you know? It's like constantly living in your parents house but worse because your parents wouldn't just barge on in and jump on the bed....they'd knock first.

Lock the door?

[doodlebugg 10]

I didn't read the op in full but another big hurdle for a woman (and a man for that matter) is children. There's always a huge amount of nervousness that you'll get caught no matter how late you wait to do the deed, you know? It's like constantly living in your parents house but worse because your parents wouldn't just barge on in and jump on the bed....they'd knock first.

Lock the door?

On the "honey-do" list. lol. It's hard when you've lived with all open doors for ten years. I originally thought that a locked door at night would signal something deeper when he moved in but now I'm rethinking that concept.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I didn't read the op in full but another big hurdle for a woman (and a man for that matter) is children. There's always a huge amount of nervousness that you'll get caught no matter how late you wait to do the deed, you know? It's like constantly living in your parents house but worse because your parents wouldn't just barge on in and jump on the bed....they'd knock first.

Lock the door?

On the "honey-do" list. lol. It's hard when you've lived with all open doors for ten years. I originally thought that a locked door at night would signal something deeper when he moved in but now I'm rethinking that concept.

Ah, ok. Well, as much as an open door policy sounds nice, a right to privacy, IMO, is much better...even for the kids, because eventually, they'll be locking their doors too once they hit puberty.

[DeadPoolX 9]

I didn't read the op in full but another big hurdle for a woman (and a man for that matter) is children. There's always a huge amount of nervousness that you'll get caught no matter how late you wait to do the deed, you know? It's like constantly living in your parents house but worse because your parents wouldn't just barge on in and jump on the bed....they'd knock first.

Lock the door?

On the "honey-do" list. lol. It's hard when you've lived with all open doors for ten years. I originally thought that a locked door at night would signal something deeper when he moved in but now I'm rethinking that concept.

Ah, ok. Well, as much as an open door policy sounds nice, a right to privacy, IMO, is much better...even for the kids, because eventually, they'll be locking their doors too once they hit puberty.

Does that extend to the Prager family or are they "fair game?" It seems we have something of a double standard here. I don't particularly care about the Pragers, but their right to privacy is just as valid.

[Caladan 19]

I suspect now we know why Prager has been divorced twice.

One time I was visiting my sister, and she has this weird doofus of a man in her circle of acquaintances, a man whose charms include the insistence that "women don't enjoy sex." She and I had the same thought, "well, maybe not with you..." And this strikes me as similar.

There's nothing wrong with deciding to have sex even if you're not really in the mood, or making an effort to keep the sex life active even while tired and or/stressed, but to describe it as a problem with the woman (and suggest that it's then her fault if he strays), or a duty (put out, you #######, or he will find a younger model) is annoying as all get out.