Young Fiance?

[tallcoolone 102]

We had the same $hit to deal with on Parental consent.

It's for the protection of these young girls, many of whom, IMO, are not emotionally mature enough for marriage.

FYI - I was talking about having only one parent around to sign Parental Consent.

You managed to go through the K1 process faster than most and without any hitches, considering the age difference and how young your fiancee was - hardly any room there for complaining.

The reason it went so fast was I did my due diligence and tried to have all my paperwork and more in order, before it became a problem

My fiance's mother abandoned her as an infant, Her father was shot in the head working in gold mine in General Santos and was never around.

One one Birth Certificate from NSO her father name was listed "Unknown"

On another Birth Certificate from NSO her father name was listed, and he had registered her with a different last name from the one she has used since birth.

To compound the issue, her mother lives in another country, and they talk very little.

My fiance was raised by her maternal grandparents, whom were able to give her a very good life in PI.

Her Grandfather died about 2 years ago, and she was living with her Grandmother, and that was whom was going to sign the Parental Consent, but her Grandmother died while I was in PI visiting back in October 2007.

So we had to scramble and have a PI lawyer draw up a Parental Consent for mother, and it said basically that the father was never around, we had it couried to her mother in another country and she had to get it signed and notarzied and sent back to PI.

It was overall a Major Pain in the A$$, and would of slowed down the K1 process if we hadn't planned for it becoming an issue, and had our paperwork in hand before it became a Issue

[tallcoolone 102]

Well this is something I wasn't aware of until I read this thread ... so thanks to the thread creator lol ... ( my fiance is 20, so I guess this is another document we will have to get )

Holy cow! Where are you all meeting these teenage Filipina's at? Is there a club?

no steven you can't go back there and look for this club.

[tallcoolone 102]

Having said that, these are much different circumstances, and I firmly believe that Southeast Asian women are much more mature that Americans at this age.

I agree.

They are a lot more mature compared to an American woman.

And they have a higher set of morals regarding sex.

[tallcoolone 102]

So i guess i'm in the same boat also. My fiance will be 20 in Feb. So that means i'm gonna need a parental consent form AND a letter from a priest? Do i have to be present for any of that stuff being signed? Do i have to attend marriage counseling classes in the philippines? Man, this is a trip.

It's a trip to be marrying someone who's barely an adult without even considering their age an issue. Even with Filipino/Filipina marriages in the PI, it's rare to see someone that young marrying. Every couple has their own reasons for getting married when they do, but you should prepare yourself for a lot of hurdles now and in the future. Getting married that young is playing against the odds, and with the divorce rate in America already high, the future looks bleak.

I dis agree.

If he was marrying an American woman then I would agree. Divorce is commonplace in USA, not in PI.

In America have many times have you heard a woman tell her Husband, I will divorce you and take everything you own?

I have heard this many times.

Have many times have you heard an American Man tell his Wife, I will divorce you and take everything you own?

I have never heard this.

The family court tilted toward a woman, A man is going to get screwed in Family court.

Alimony States - Why does the man have to make monthly payments to a woman after divorce, it crazy in my opinion.

[vichygurl 1]

I dis agree.

If he was marrying an American woman then I would agree. Divorce is commonplace in USA, not in PI.

In America have many times have you heard a woman tell her Husband, I will divorce you and take everything you own?

I have heard this many times.

Have many times have you heard an American Man tell his Wife, I will divorce you and take everything you own?

I have never heard this.

The family court tilted toward a woman, A man is going to get screwed in Family court.

Alimony States - Why does the man have to make monthly payments to a woman after divorce, it crazy in my opinion.

Just a though for this tallcoolone...ALIMONY really sucks! even if the woman left and went with her another man does that mean she deserves alimony still? Even she had been cheating for a while while they were still together? I was really about to start a thread about it but since you brought out in this thread pardon me if I ask.

The existence of the Family Court clearly tells that Divorce is really high in this country. I just hate the idea that because of the parents immaturity the children are the one in suffer.

Vida Taylor

[vichygurl 1]

Having said that, these are much different circumstances, and I firmly believe that Southeast Asian women are much more mature that Americans at this age.

I agree with this!

Vida Taylor

Edited December 31, 2008 by blukiss24

[payxibka 10,045]

The existence of the Family Court clearly tells that Divorce is really high in this country. I just hate the idea that because of the parents immaturity the children are the one in suffer.

Family court does a whole lot more than divorces... so even without a high rate of divorce, family courts would still be needed

[one...two...tree 2,762]

We had the same $hit to deal with on Parental consent.

It's for the protection of these young girls, many of whom, IMO, are not emotionally mature enough for marriage.

FYI - I was talking about having only one parent around to sign Parental Consent.

You managed to go through the K1 process faster than most and without any hitches, considering the age difference and how young your fiancee was - hardly any room there for complaining.

The reason it went so fast was I did my due diligence and tried to have all my paperwork and more in order, before it became a problem

My fiance's mother abandoned her as an infant, Her father was shot in the head working in gold mine in General Santos and was never around.

One one Birth Certificate from NSO her father name was listed "Unknown"

On another Birth Certificate from NSO her father name was listed, and he had registered her with a different last name from the one she has used since birth.

To compound the issue, her mother lives in another country, and they talk very little.

My fiance was raised by her maternal grandparents, whom were able to give her a very good life in PI.

Her Grandfather died about 2 years ago, and she was living with her Grandmother, and that was whom was going to sign the Parental Consent, but her Grandmother died while I was in PI visiting back in October 2007.

So we had to scramble and have a PI lawyer draw up a Parental Consent for mother, and it said basically that the father was never around, we had it couried to her mother in another country and she had to get it signed and notarzied and sent back to PI.

It was overall a Major Pain in the A$, and would of slowed down the K1 process if we hadn't planned for it becoming an issue, and had our paperwork in hand before it became a Issue

I'm sorry to hear what she went through growing up but with all due respect, I still think the requirement for parental consent is a good idea. From what I understand, it can be a legal guardian if the parents are not present.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

So i guess i'm in the same boat also. My fiance will be 20 in Feb. So that means i'm gonna need a parental consent form AND a letter from a priest? Do i have to be present for any of that stuff being signed? Do i have to attend marriage counseling classes in the philippines? Man, this is a trip.

It's a trip to be marrying someone who's barely an adult without even considering their age an issue. Even with Filipino/Filipina marriages in the PI, it's rare to see someone that young marrying. Every couple has their own reasons for getting married when they do, but you should prepare yourself for a lot of hurdles now and in the future. Getting married that young is playing against the odds, and with the divorce rate in America already high, the future looks bleak.

I dis agree.

If he was marrying an American woman then I would agree. Divorce is commonplace in USA, not in PI.

In America have many times have you heard a woman tell her Husband, I will divorce you and take everything you own?

I have heard this many times.

Have many times have you heard an American Man tell his Wife, I will divorce you and take everything you own?

I have never heard this.

The family court tilted toward a woman, A man is going to get screwed in Family court.

Alimony States - Why does the man have to make monthly payments to a woman after divorce, it crazy in my opinion.

You are comparing apples to oranges - divorce is not legal in the Philippines. Secondly, the parental consent requirement that exists in the PI, doesn't in America - that's got to play into why most pinoy/pinay couples wait until they are older before marrying.

While you could argue that negative attitudes towards marriage exist in America, other factors such as emotional maturity, compatibility, how relatively easy it is to marry, also play a big part in the high divorce rate. IMO, it's a bit reckless to assume that marrying a Filipina alone decreases your chance for divorce, or will somehow shield you from alimony or child support should she one day ask for a divorce. The strong commitment to marriage that exists in the PI has more to do with their religious convictions more than anything else, but even then, there are many many cases of infidelity and abandonment.

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

I am 29 and my fiance is 19. I read somewhere that in the Philippines a person has to be 21 to get married without parental consent. I already filed at the USCIS. Do I have to have heard dad type up a statement and sign it? If so do I only have to supply this to the Embassy in Manila? Is there a sample parental consent form? Does it have to be notorized? Thanks

Conan...I think that would make since to do what you've suggested....just my opinion.

I hope this will help with regards to parental consent. I got these from the Family Code of the Philippines.

Art. 14. In case either or both of the contracting parties, not having been emancipated by a previous marriage, are between the ages of eighteen and twenty-one, they shall, in addition to the requirements of the preceding articles, exhibit to the local civil registrar, the consent to their marriage of their father, mother, surviving parent or guardian, or persons having legal charge of them, in the order mentioned. Such consent shall be manifested in writing by the interested party, who personally appears before the proper local civil registrar, or in the form of an affidavit made in the presence of two witnesses and attested before any official authorized by law to administer oaths. The personal manifestation shall be recorded in both applications for marriage license, and the affidavit, if one is executed instead, shall be attached to said applications. (61a)

Art. 15. Any contracting party between the age of twenty-one and twenty-five shall be obliged to ask their parents or guardian for advice upon the intended marriage. If they do not obtain such advice, or if it be unfavorable, the marriage license shall not be issued till after three months following the completion of the publication of the application therefor. A sworn statement by the contracting parties to the effect that such advice has been sought, together with the written advice given, if any, shall be attached to the application for marriage license. Should the parents or guardian refuse to give any advice, this fact shall be stated in the sworn statement. (62a)

Art. 16. In the cases where parental consent or parental advice is needed, the party or parties concerned shall, in addition to the requirements of the preceding articles, attach a certificate issued by a priest, imam or minister authorized to solemnize marriage under Article 7 of this Code or a marriage counselor duly accredited by the proper government agency to the effect that the contracting parties have undergone marriage counseling. Failure to attach said certificates of marriage counseling shall suspend the issuance of the marriage license for a period of three months from the completion of the publication of the application. Issuance of the marriage license within the prohibited period shall subject the issuing officer to administrative sanctions but shall not affect the validity of the marriage.

Should only one of the contracting parties need parental consent or parental advice, the other party must be present at the counseling referred to in the preceding paragraph. (n)

Based from my experience, the age requirement in order for a person to contract marriage is 18.

OK...but hold on a second. This appears to be requirements for a marriage license issued in the Phils. The original poster is applying for a K-1 visa - which means he'll have a marriage license issued in the USA. Do these requirements apply if the marriage is to take place in the USA? I would think not.

You are right that the Filipino Family Code does not apply to the United States. However, they still have to hurdle of gettring approval from the CFO before she can leave the country, and the CFO may very well try to enforce some or all of these requirements before issuing a certificate and stamp. The requirements of the CFO seem to be arbitrary, varying from official to official and from office to office. Forewarned is forearmed.

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

After reading my wife's and other posts here, I have something to contribute to the subject. We also have a gap in age, she being 34, and I was 50 at the time we first stated coresponding via email. Are Asians more mature as some have stated? I would disagree. They tend to be much more niave in my experience, somewhat childlike at times, but that is refreshing to a jaded ex-long-haired-redneck-hippy type like me. When someone asks if she is my daughter, I just say, "Yes."

On the counseling/consent stuff, my friend, a little older than I, married a 30 year old from Baguio about 6 years ago, and they each had to attend two weeks of counseling before they could be married. They needed the approval of her parents, before the process could even begin. Maybe that was something provincial to Baguio. He was a little thick headed at times, trying to bribe his way through, but he still had to go through the program. He spent two years trying to bring his wife here, finally contacting his congresswoman, and was finally pointed to the proper forms and preceedures. Like I said, he was stubborn at times. He even tried to bribe his was through the CFO after being denied at the Airport: They took his bribe, and still made his wife attend the CFO seminar.

Was that just his experience, or did that happen to others? We went the K-1 route, and that generally went as expected.

Sonomacountygals's husband

[one...two...tree 2,762]

After reading my wife's and other posts here, I have something to contribute to the subject. We also have a gap in age, she being 34, and I was 50 at the time we first stated coresponding via email. Are Asians more mature as some have stated? I would disagree. They tend to be much more niave in my experience, somewhat childlike at times, but that is refreshing to a jaded ex-long-haired-redneck-hippy type like me. When someone asks if she is my daughter, I just say, "Yes."

Sonomacountygals's husband

My wife's family and her friends, most of them waited until they had finished college and had a job/career before marrying. In fact, it's more common here in America to find people in their early 20's living on their own, whereas, it's more common that grown children live with their parents in the PI, so there's less pressure on Filipinas, IMO, to be independent by the time they reach adulthood.

[Cham 3]

Well this is something I wasn't aware of until I read this thread ... so thanks to the thread creator lol ... ( my fiancé is 20, so I guess this is another document we will have to get )

Holy cow! Where are you all meeting these teenage Filipina's at? Is there a club?

Over 18 is legal..duh there is such a thing as age gap relationships and they DO work. just because your closer in age is not guarantee that it will work. I would suggest taking your prozac and stop assuming these folks are hunting young girls mate. I am an older woman with a younger man and HE chased me I never chased him..been together over 2 years and loving it...maybe you should TRY it before ya knock it down

Age gap is not the issue but the age, or more importantly, the emotional maturity of these young Filipinas. It is obviously a big enough concern for the PI Gov't. as well for them to require parental consent for young women under the age of 21. I don't know any parent of a 20 yr. old girl living here in the states who wouldn't take great pause with news of them wanting to marry, let alone to a foreigner, requiring they leave their country. The parental consent is one extra step that can help provide a cushion of reason with these marriages.

Well you must live in the state of I refuse to let my adult child grow up then. I know many who have let there daughters marry and they are doing JUST fine. My fiancé is 22 and his parents like me and he is MOVING HERE. Not all young adults are immature and maybe if mommy or daddy would let go maybe they WOULD grow up and be allowed to without mommy or daddy interfering. Seriously. If they are old enough to vote and go to war they are old enough to do what they heck they want.

I respect your opinion and it is just that, an opinion. I just want to know when does the prejudiced nature toward younger adults getting married will stop??? I Know more older folks who got married and got a divorce compared to someone marrying a younger person. I know MANY that been married for years and I am not talking 2 or 5 years I am talking 10, 15, 20 years with considerably age gaps.

(and yes it is the issue.. it is the issue of someone younger marrying someone older)

Maybe in YOUR world or YOUR experience younger people are immature BUT you can't speak for ALL younger adults over the age of 18. That is a generalization and a stereotype. We are not in the S anymore OR the S.

Time to wake up and give these younger adults credit. If Mommy's and daddy's allowed there children to grow up and let go and let them do things for themselves, stop assuming they are to immature to do anything and let them stand on there on ..MAYBE just maybe they would be more mature in your eyes.

Are you telling me that age makes you more mature? Come on you and I both know that is a crock of #######.

I know MANY older adults who are as mature as a bag of rocks. Shoot my kids are under 25, married with kids and very educated and responsible. They have degrees and there spouses are older and very amazing people.

Mom and dad do not get to choose WHO you love..you get to choose.

Like I said come to that age gap site and see for yourself about younger adults dating older people. There are many many out there and they are working JUST fine.

You have a right to YOUR opinion, but you do not have a right to judge someone who is marrying someone younger or older who is under the age of 25. There is no need to generalize. I realize it is still taboo but throughout history it has been happening. It was just never brought out to the media. Now that it is, many are coming out and saying Hey we got married when he or she was 20 and now he is 45 and I am 68 and so on...it happens...its life...

Just because you are older does not make you more mature, more stable, more wise, THAT is obvious from some folks I know. I realize the PI govt does this but did it JUST maybe occur to you, it is not fair or right??? Just like some things OUR govt does, you think they are right?? COME ON MAN, not everything a govt does is fair OR right.

PS to the redneck..if someone ask if she is your daughter say NO she is my wife..dont be ashamed of it!

Why be married to someone younger if you are going to say she is my daughter??

The reason being that that they are more immature is they are very sheltered and not allowed to experience LIFE

Edited December 31, 2008 by Cham

[tallcoolone 102]

We had the same $hit to deal with on Parental consent.

It's for the protection of these young girls, many of whom, IMO, are not emotionally mature enough for marriage.

FYI - I was talking about having only one parent around to sign Parental Consent.

You managed to go through the K1 process faster than most and without any hitches, considering the age difference and how young your fiancee was - hardly any room there for complaining.

The reason it went so fast was I did my due diligence and tried to have all my paperwork and more in order, before it became a problem

My fiance's mother abandoned her as an infant, Her father was shot in the head working in gold mine in General Santos and was never around.

One one Birth Certificate from NSO her father name was listed "Unknown"

On another Birth Certificate from NSO her father name was listed, and he had registered her with a different last name from the one she has used since birth.

To compound the issue, her mother lives in another country, and they talk very little.

My fiance was raised by her maternal grandparents, whom were able to give her a very good life in PI.

Her Grandfather died about 2 years ago, and she was living with her Grandmother, and that was whom was going to sign the Parental Consent, but her Grandmother died while I was in PI visiting back in October 2007.

So we had to scramble and have a PI lawyer draw up a Parental Consent for mother, and it said basically that the father was never around, we had it couried to her mother in another country and she had to get it signed and notarzied and sent back to PI.

It was overall a Major Pain in the A$, and would of slowed down the K1 process if we hadn't planned for it becoming an issue, and had our paperwork in hand before it became a Issue

I'm sorry to hear what she went through growing up but with all due respect, I still think the requirement for parental consent is a good idea. From what I understand, it can be a legal guardian if the parents are not present.

I think Parental Consent is great, and wish we had it in USA.

I have no problem with the Parental Consent, It just all the extra ordinary BS we had to go through to get it.

[tallcoolone 102]

Well this is something I wasn't aware of until I read this thread ... so thanks to the thread creator lol ... ( my fiance is 20, so I guess this is another document we will have to get )

Holy cow! Where are you all meeting these teenage Filipina's at? Is there a club?

yes its an invite only club.

Hopefully that is true for most.

Well this is something I wasn't aware of until I read this thread ... so thanks to the thread creator lol ... ( my fiance is 20, so I guess this is another document we will have to get )

Holy cow! Where are you all meeting these teenage Filipina's at? Is there a club?

Well lucky for us we don't have that big of a age gap lol .... but to answer your question ... I met my fiance through a family member who is married to a philipina .... thus we were introduced and here we are

The funny thing about my situation is I was not interested in this kind of ( long distance ) relationship at all .... matter of fact my mind was totally against getting involved in a long distance relationship..... originally I agreed to talk to her merely as a friend .... it is ironic how things happen in a persons life sometimes, I guess it is true you just never know when or how you will finally find the person you've always waited for.

Good for you. Did you have any hesitations because of her age?

No none ....

Interesting. Do you know many people from your generation getting married at 20? Just my observation, but it doesn't seem to be very common nowadays. People got married that young out of necessity, but in today's world, getting a college degree out of the way first seems more of a necessity.

When I met my fiance she had just turned 19 and was a little halfway finished with her Bachelors Degree in Nursing.

I had to make the decision (it was a tough one), to let her finish school in PI and get her Nursing Degree in PI, before I filed the K1 Visa. It basically delayed our K1 for over a year.

Now she is 20 with a Bachelors in Nursing, and she scheduled to sit for her NCLEX-RN test next month, that will allow her to be Registered Nurse.