An Honest Discussion About Fil/Am Relationships

[vichygurl 1]

Two Years ago,I have once encountered such degrading thoughts about "mail to order bride" though it wasn't directly said but the idea of talking negatively about it to someone who have met her husband in a dating site somehow made me feel bad. I'm not ashamed. Why should I? I just felt bad a little because I've heard it direct to someone I considered to be my friend. My close friend. So i told her straight.. if you don't want me to be your friend anymore because "you think" the same as how other people think about a filipina marrying someone they met in the net..then it's ok. I'm not going to force you. She is a nurse and residing that time here in the US. One day I found out that she went back to the Philippines to get married to an American man whom she met in the net,in a dating site. She was in Illinois and the guy was from Texas. Now she is with him in Texas.

There is always a negative and positive response to the choice we made. As well as there are people who will be happy for you and there are also people who will look at you as "mail to order bride" . Personally, I don't care! It's a state of mind. I just take what positive people can say and I am more concern about how to make my marriage life always blooming and happy together with my husband. Negative people are just there to ruin your marriage. What important for me is to be a good wife and a loving mother in the future. I don't consider myself a "mail to order bride" because I know I am not!.

Just my opinion!

Vida Taylor

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Two Years ago,I have once encountered such degrading thoughts about "mail to order bride" though it wasn't directly said but the idea of talking negatively about it to someone who have met her husband in a dating site somehow made me feel bad. I'm not ashamed. Why should I? I just felt bad a little because I've heard it direct to someone I considered to be my friend. My close friend. So i told her straight.. if you don't want me to be your friend anymore because "you think" the same as how other people think about a filipina marrying someone they met in the net..then it's ok. I'm not going to force you. She is a nurse and residing that time here in the US. One day I found out that she went back to the Philippines to get married to an American man whom she met in the net,in a dating site. She was in Illinois and the guy was from Texas. Now she is with him in Texas.

There is always a negative and positive response to the choice we made. As well as there are people who will be happy for you and there are also people who will look at you as "mail to order bride" . Personally, I don't care! It's a state of mind. I just take what positive people can say and I am more concern about how to make my marriage life always blooming and happy together with my husband. Negative people are just there to ruin your marriage. What important for me is to be a good wife and a loving mother in the future. I don't consider myself a "mail to order bride" because I know I am not!.

Just my opinion!

Vida Taylor

Thanks for sharing that.

I have a distant relative who my parents are close to. When she heard about my long distance relationship with a Filipina, she told my parents that I should run far away from this girl because they knew someone who was scammed by a young Filipina looking for charity over the internet. And of course, my parents felt obliged to share this with me. I keep in contact with this relative through occasional family emails, but it wasn't until recently that she finally said she hopes to meet my wife soon.

Edited December 30, 2008 by Mister Fancypants

[jom 4]

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

YES. My friend is married to a Filipina for 5 years and is very happy after 3 failed marriages with american women .My 2 previous marriages failed and I thought an asian wife would be different so I browsed the internet.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

Myla's cousin did. She was 37 years old, never been married, a nurse and a lawyer and it seemed the men were intimidated and those who pursued her were younger and she wanted someone older than her so her cousin who at that time was engaged with an american set up her profile in Heartsinasia and thats where I saw her profile. Thank God for internet dating

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

My first ex-wife was petite, beautiful but materialistic and got into drugs so I left. When I married her, I loved her very much and we have two beautiful daughters. We were married for 15 years. She is 10 years older than me. Myla gets along with her .

My second ex-wife was 300 lbs ( she was 170 when I met her ) , manipulative, lazy, a liar and I married her because she was pregnant with my second son. Even now that she has my sons 25 days in a month and I pay her a huge child support, she still tries hard to turn my sons against me and take my time away from them. But I have two wonderful sons who love me very much and thats the only good thing that came out of the relationship.

Myla is smart, funny, beautiful and the most unselfish person I have ever met. She left everything to be with me. She grew up with maids and money and I am not a rich man but she is happy and contented with what I give her and doesn't complain at all. Like me, she makes the most of what we have. She adores my children and takes care of my two sons. She is not perfect because she is also stubborn and speaks her mind and I respect her more because of that. We have a happy relationship and marrying her was the best decision I have ever made in my life. I know I will be lost without her. She is 8 years younger than me.

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

I've never lived with a man before ( until now ) other than my father so it is hard to make a comparison. One thing I know, Joe loves me unconditionally and makes me laugh 24/7. I may have left everything in the Philippines to relocate here but Joe is all worth it. I love him with all my being.

Joe and Myla

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

YES. My friend is married to a Filipina for 5 years and is very happy after 3 failed marriages with american women .My 2 previous marriages failed and I thought an asian wife would be different so I browsed the internet.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

Myla's cousin did. She was 37 years old, never been married, a nurse and a lawyer and it seemed the men were intimidated and those who pursued her were younger and she wanted someone older than her so her cousin who at that time was engaged with an american set up her profile in Heartsinasia and thats where I saw her profile. Thank God for internet dating

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

My first ex-wife was petite, beautiful but materialistic and got into drugs so I left. When I married her, I loved her very much and we have two beautiful daughters. We were married for 15 years. She is 10 years older than me. Myla gets along with her .

My second ex-wife was 300 lbs ( she was 170 when I met her ) , manipulative, lazy, a liar and I married her because she was pregnant with my second son. Even now that she has my sons 25 days in a month and I pay her a huge child support, she still tries hard to turn my sons against me and take my time away from them. But I have two wonderful sons who love me very much and thats the only good thing that came out of the relationship.

Myla is smart, funny, beautiful and the most unselfish person I have ever met. She left everything to be with me. She grew up with maids and money and I am not a rich man but she is happy and contented with what I give her and doesn't complain at all. Like me, she makes the most of what we have. She adores my children and takes care of my two sons. She is not perfect because she is also stubborn and speaks her mind and I respect her more because of that. We have a happy relationship and marrying her was the best decision I have ever made in my life. I know I will be lost without her. She is 8 years younger than me.

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

I've never lived with a man before ( until now ) other than my father so it is hard to make a comparison. One thing I know, Joe loves me unconditionally and makes me laugh 24/7. I may have left everything in the Philippines to relocate here but Joe is all worth it. I love him with all my being.

Joe and Myla

Thanks Joe and Myla for sharing that! You two do seem very happy together and that's what really counts.

[Besame Mucho 1]

Question # 1 - Not Applicable

Question # 2 - No, I never did. I met my fiance while we were both graduate students at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces. Matter of fact, I never had in my mind that I might desire to immigrate to the U.S.A. someday. And up to now, I still have not decided if I really want to move to the U.S.A., as I live very nicely and well here in the Philippines. I also have thoughts of going to the Spanish Embassy here in Manila to apply for Spanish citizenship and take advantage of the newly enacted "law of grandchildren" in Madrid. This law allows anyone whose parents or grandparents were born in Spain but went overseas because of some special reasons to become Spanish citizens and those accepted do not have to renounce their current citizenship.

I don't have anything against anyone who pimps herself in cyberspace. It's just not my type to try it as I have a lot of amor propio in me!

Question # 3 - Not Applicable

Question # 4 - Caramba, where's numero cuatro?

Question # 5 - The difference lies mainly in the physical appearances. Both are intellectuals; my ex-boy friend is into business and industry here in Manila and my fiancee is a scientist at Los Alamos in New Mexico. I still can't fathom why my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, although my two year absence in Manila (while at school in Las Cruces) might have prompted the separation. He's still a bachelor and we are still friends, and who knows what's in store if I don't go to the U.S.A.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Question # 1 - Not Applicable

Question # 2 - No, I never did. I met my fiance while we were both graduate students at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces. Matter of fact, I never had in my mind that I might desire to immigrate to the U.S.A. someday. And up to now, I still have not decided if I really want to move to the U.S.A., as I live very nicely and well here in the Philippines. I also have thoughts of going to the Spanish Embassy here in Manila to apply for Spanish citizenship and take advantage of the newly enacted "law of grandchildren" in Madrid. This law allows anyone whose parents or grandparents were born in Spain but went overseas because of some special reasons to become Spanish citizens and those accepted do not have to renounce their current citizenship.

I don't have anything against anyone who pimps herself in cyberspace. It's just not my type to try it as I have a lot of amor propio in me!

Question # 3 - Not Applicable

Question # 4 - Caramba, where's numero cuatro?

Question # 5 - The difference lies mainly in the physical appearances. Both are intellectuals; my ex-boy friend is into business and industry here in Manila and my fiancee is a scientist at Los Alamos in New Mexico. I still can't fathom why my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, although my two year absence in Manila (while at school in Las Cruces) might have prompted the separation. He's still a bachelor and we are still friends, and who knows what's in store if I don't go to the U.S.A.

Thanks for the honest reply, but your answer to #5 - sounds like you are keeping your options open relationship wise?

[DARUMA07 25]

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

I met my wife on Filipinahearts.com. I wasn't sure where to meet a filipina, so I found that website. Afer recovering from the death of my 3rd wife, I dated around, but I just couldn't get past the different attitudes of some of the women I was dating. Deep down, I always had a desire to meet a Filipina or a woman of Asian descent.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

I had a small Ad to hopefully find a man who would love me for me. I was very hesitant, but I am glad that I took that chance.

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

I don't like to compare, so I will leave this one alone....

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

My husband is alot stronger and muscular that my ex-bf and my husband goes to work everyday. He is more responsible.

[mychelle 1]

Question 6 - for the American men who didn't meet their Filipina spouse through a dating service or marriage broker, what stories or rumors had you heard about those sites and the kinds of Filipinas you'd find?

I am not an American man but I know stories too. Well, I know one guy who went through Filipinaheart site to find a wife. He's Filipino-American and he did meet someone, the girl was much younger [10+ years] and cute...fast forward, he went home to visit her for the first time...turns out she was two-timing him. She had another American boyfriend [this time Caucasian] who answered her cell phone while she was in the shower. The Fil-Am guy was sending her about 600 bucks a month...I don't know if she asked or he just wanted to send it to her. I did not asked him why. Anyway, he's with another Filipina now whom he met while vacationing in the Philippines. Other than that, the American men [not just Fil-Am] I know who are with Filipina women are...one whom they met while visiting the Philippines or the ones they met while the Filipina was in the US [usually for work, school...I only know one who was here as a Tourist, met a guy, went back home to Philippines waiting for their K1 visa to get approved...fast forward...they have a child together she is now US citizen.]

Question 7 - for the Filipinas who didn't join a dating service or marriage broker, what stories or rumors had you heard about the kinds of men you'd find that way?

I was in one of those Comedy clubs in the Philippines and the comedian would go to the audience to chat with them and get them in the act. The comedian went up to this White guy [he was British, older ] with his Filipina wife [not that young but younger than the guy] and talked to them and stuff...anyway, before he left them he said something in Bisaya to the woman..."you better be careful 'coz he might kill you and bury you in cement under the staircase!"...of course he said it jokingly but I hear that story a lot. The fear that the man they meet online will be abusive...and worse...will kill them. Well, it's not just a rumor really...for some it actually happens. Fortunately, for most, it's the complete opposite.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

I met my wife on Filipinahearts.com. I wasn't sure where to meet a filipina, so I found that website. Afer recovering from the death of my 3rd wife, I dated around, but I just couldn't get past the different attitudes of some of the women I was dating. Deep down, I always had a desire to meet a Filipina or a woman of Asian descent.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

I had a small Ad to hopefully find a man who would love me for me. I was very hesitant, but I am glad that I took that chance.

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

I don't like to compare, so I will leave this one alone....

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

My husband is alot stronger and muscular that my ex-bf and my husband goes to work everyday. He is more responsible.

Thank you, Danny and Ruchie! You two are another success story.

[fish 0]

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

It could be yes or no. I met my wife at yahoo chat in June of 2000 accidentally her cousin was teaching her how to use yahoo in a roomful of stangers. It was also my second time to use yahoo chat one of my officers was also teaching me to chat and she's talking to a pinay. I have no desire to remarry being single for 22 yrs moreso fly thousand miles to find a wife.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

I will if my husband and I didn't make it this far lol.

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

My ex-wife ran off with another man she was our HS prom queen but is now 300lbs. My wife is 4'11 intelligent (a degree holder) earns more than me what does a man can ask for lol! She has the biggest heart, sweet, very good christian lady, very supportive, patient, never jealous (I met a Vietnamese during one of my trips to Strugis dated her for a few months with my pinay fiancee waiting for me in the PI it was in 2004 I was a dog) and she was very possessive and manipulative a far cry from my wife. Can you imagine I've strated talking to my wife in 2000 we started to exchange forwarded emails and started the relationship in 2003 but I only came to visit her in Jan 06, she has the patience of Job. When I met her personally she was very pretty and cute so I knew I'm gonna marry her.

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

My exbf was "chinito", homebody, geek like me while husband is very outgoing and very good looking... I just love him for what he is nothing more...

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Question 6 - for the American men who didn't meet their Filipina spouse through a dating service or marriage broker, what stories or rumors had you heard about those sites and the kinds of Filipinas you'd find?

I am not an American man but I know stories too. Well, I know one guy who went through Filipinaheart site to find a wife. He's Filipino-American and he did meet someone, the girl was much younger [10+ years] and cute...fast forward, he went home to visit her for the first time...turns out she was two-timing him. She had another American boyfriend [this time Caucasian] who answered her cell phone while she was in the shower. The Fil-Am guy was sending her about 600 bucks a month...I don't know if she asked or he just wanted to send it to her. I did not asked him why. Anyway, he's with another Filipina now whom he met while vacationing in the Philippines. Other than that, the American men [not just Fil-Am] I know who are with Filipina women are...one whom they met while visiting the Philippines or the ones they met while the Filipina was in the US [usually for work, school...I only know one who was here as a Tourist, met a guy, went back home to Philippines waiting for their K1 visa to get approved...fast forward...they have a child together she is now US citizen.]

Question 7 - for the Filipinas who didn't join a dating service or marriage broker, what stories or rumors had you heard about the kinds of men you'd find that way?

I was in one of those Comedy clubs in the Philippines and the comedian would go to the audience to chat with them and get them in the act. The comedian went up to this White guy [he was British, older ] with his Filipina wife [not that young but younger than the guy] and talked to them and stuff...anyway, before he left them he said something in Bisaya to the woman..."you better be careful 'coz he might kill you and bury you in cement under the staircase!"...of course he said it jokingly but I hear that story a lot. The fear that the man they meet online will be abusive...and worse...will kill them. Well, it's not just a rumor really...for some it actually happens. Fortunately, for most, it's the complete opposite.

Thank you for the honest replies.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

It could be yes or no. I met my wife at yahoo chat in June of 2000 accidentally her cousin was teaching her how to use yahoo in a roomful of stangers. It was also my second time to use yahoo chat one of my officers was also teaching me to chat and she's talking to a pinay. I have no desire to remarry being single for 22 yrs moreso fly thousand miles to find a wife.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

I will if my husband and I didn't make it this far lol.

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

My ex-wife ran off with another man she was our HS prom queen but is now 300lbs. My wife is 4'11 intelligent (a degree holder) earns more than me what does a man can ask for lol! She has the biggest heart, sweet, very good christian lady, very supportive, patient, never jealous (I met a Vietnamese during one of my trips to Strugis dated her for a few months with my pinay fiancee waiting for me in the PI it was in 2004 I was a dog) and she was very possessive and manipulative a far cry from my wife. Can you imagine I've strated talking to my wife in 2000 we started to exchange forwarded emails and started the relationship in 2003 but I only came to visit her in Jan 06, she has the patience of Job. When I met her personally she was very pretty and cute so I knew I'm gonna marry her.

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

My exbf was "chinito", homebody, geek like me while husband is very outgoing and very good looking... I just love him for what he is nothing more...

Good, honest reply! Thank you!

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

Too funny.... all these people answering with a capital NO so basically yelling NO as if they are saying "OMG, online dating??? me??? never!!!" as if online dating is for the desperate I guess they are thinking.

I met my fiance online, went to the RP to see her 4 times, talked to her twice a day for hours for over a year... blah, blah, blah.

My take these days on spending lots of time together before marriage: All these people who knew each other for years and years before marrying and had kids together after marriage ended up divorced... what does knowing each other for years really do? I no longer think spending years together makes any difference.... Americans, the Brits, Canadians... the industrialized world has proven it makes no difference.

Yeah, you got a point there, DEDixon. I met my husband on penpalnet.com. I don't know if you call it a dating site, but yes. I met him through that site. He told me he wasn't looking for a Filipina. He wasn't looking for anybody. He was thinking about opening a "night" club in Costa Rica. So he was looking for contacts in Latin America. I was looking for a penpal because I was bored going to work, going home, get some sleep and then go back to work again the next day.

So we did end up together. Fate has its own way of doing things huh! But then again, my husband says, quoting Rommel, "Chance favors the prepared mind."

Edited December 31, 2008 by sonomacountygal

[DARUMA07 25]

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

I met my wife on Filipinahearts.com. I wasn't sure where to meet a filipina, so I found that website. Afer recovering from the death of my 3rd wife, I dated around, but I just couldn't get past the different attitudes of some of the women I was dating. Deep down, I always had a desire to meet a Filipina or a woman of Asian descent.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

I had a small Ad to hopefully find a man who would love me for me. I was very hesitant, but I am glad that I took that chance.

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

I don't like to compare, so I will leave this one alone....

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

My husband is alot stronger and muscular that my ex-bf and my husband goes to work everyday. He is more responsible.

Thank you, Danny and Ruchie! You two are another success story.

Thank you Steve! No marriage is perfect, but we are Happy!

[KC♥MP 0]

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

No, in fact I was set already to remain single all my life after failed relationships in the past

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

No, we met when I answered his posted question in Yahoo Music

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

Never been married before

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

My ex-bf pales in comparison to my husband. He is loving, understanding, mature and we share the same values despite of our different cultural background