An Honest Discussion About Fil/Am Relationships

[abbynorm2 0]

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

Yes way! Because I was finished with the horrible attitudes that I experienced from most women I met here. I was tired of always having some woman want me for what she could make me into (or think that she could make me into) which always left me feeling like I didn't measure up if I didn't change who I was to fit who they wanted me to be, or feeling as if I had handed the reins of the relationship over to her if I did. I was signed up in several different sites for different countries, but finally decided on pinay and placed an ad on filippinaheart. As I began to read about different cultures, the Pinay was the one who captured my attention because their ads always said just love me for who I am, and that is all I wanted for me.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

Yes! Because I wanted to meet an American man because I heard that they are caring and loving and sweet too.

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

My Ex was Vietnamese so other than 2 inches difference in height, there are not much physical differences. My Pinay is way more beautiful , and is the sweetest person I have ever met.

Many other differences though, my ex had her personality that she showed to the world, while reserving her true self at home for me. She was mean spirited, self centered and never appreciative of what I had done for her or given her. My Pinay Fiancee is happy just being with me and has never asked me to change anything

Question 4 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

Honest answers please.

Quite different! my ex (Pinoy) didn't have time for me, and don't think he was serious with me

My American Fiance is nice, sweet, caring, loving, kind, easy going, open minded and a gentleman.

[ez2007 1]

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

No.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

No.

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

Wife is petite at 5' and 104 lbs., black hair, tanned skin, physically fit and loves to work. Not addicted to video games nor prescription meds. Ex is the opposite.

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

We have a 5-year age difference. He is loving, thoughtful and responsible. Ex-husband was clinging to his mom's skirt for responsibilities.

[Gumbolette 58]

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

No. My husband never did.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

Yes. But I never took it seriously. I even forgot that I had an account on that dating site. Besides, I didn't met my wonderful husband in any dating site. I just tried to join a online community to find friends.

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

He never got married.

He told me I understands him. we're like coffee and cream. Perfectly blends with each other.He told me most of the american women are materialistic b****s.

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

He puts me first above anything. He shown me how someone can show love to its highest existence.

I don't mind my past. I had bitter memories.

Honest answers please.

Edited December 30, 2008 by my_panacea = Greg

[sunzetgirl 0]

Hello my VJ family, this is a nice thread, here are my answers, straight ones, with no BS in between.

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

YES. I think it's obvious WHY.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

YES. Again, very obvious.

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

N/A

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

my exBF - white, 6'1" tall, handsome, a month younger than me, very caring, loves to goof around, down to earth, with a great sense of humour, but chemistry was just not there.

my husband - white, 6'3"(yes I love my guy tall),VERY handsome, 2 years older than me, big heart, with the patience 5 times bigger than his heart, and lastly, he's the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Edited December 30, 2008 by rockbabyrock27

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Thanks for all the honest answers so far.

Question 6 - for the American men who didn't meet their Filipina spouse through a dating service or marriage broker, what stories or rumors had you heard about those sites and the kinds of Filipinas you'd find?

Question 7 - for the Filipinas who didn't join a dating service or marriage broker, what stories or rumors had you heard about the kinds of men you'd find that way?

***

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

Thanks for all the honest answers so far.

Question 6 - for the American men who didn't meet their Filipina spouse through a dating service or marriage broker, what stories or rumors had you heard about those sites and the kinds of Filipinas you'd find?

Question 7 - for the Filipinas who didn't join a dating service or marriage broker, what stories or rumors had you heard about the kinds of men you'd find that way?

1. Nope.

2. Nope.

3. Smaller and tanner.

5. Paler and a little older.

6. No answer. Never heard anything about it.

7. I don't know. All I know is that they charge money.

***

Edited December 30, 2008 by sonomacountygal

[envy_me 18]

Thanks for all the honest answers so far.

Question 6 - for the American men who didn't meet their Filipina spouse through a dating service or marriage broker, what stories or rumors had you heard about those sites and the kinds of Filipinas you'd find?

- maybe looking for love but more often looking for a ticket to another country..

Question 7 - for the Filipinas who didn't join a dating service or marriage broker, what stories or rumors had you heard about the kinds of men you'd find that way?

- i dnt really pay attention to that cos i dnt care if people join or not and why, it's their life not mine..

but as they always say guys there are mostly old people seeking love from younger ladies..?

***

[sunzetgirl 0]

Please, we've all heard about those rumors and tales, and we will achieve nothing if we post them here. They will always remain rumors and tales. Will do us no good broadcasting it here. Let's try to keep the atmosphere clean and friendly. Posting rumors and tales won't help. Anyways, this is just my opinion. PEACE...

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Please, we've all heard about those rumors and tales, and we will achieve nothing if we post them here. They will always remain rumors and tales. Will do us no good broadcasting it here. Let's try to keep the atmosphere clean and friendly. Posting rumors and tales won't help. Anyways, this is just my opinion. PEACE...

I disagree. I think by talking about it, we can help dispel a lot of myths or stereotypes that are commonly believed with Fil/Am relationships, and everyone of us who is in a Fil/Am relationship has dealt with it in one way or another. Although I didn't meet my wife through a dating agency, I don't think anyone, American or Filipina who met that way should be ashamed by it, but I know that most onlookers who see an American with a Filipina, immediately think, 'Mail Order Bride.' And what I've notice here, even in this thread, there is the negative stereotype perpetuated. Just look at the ones who said, 'hell no.' I'm curious to know why they think that way. For the American, is it because he's heard rumors that most of the girls are looking for a ticket to the U.S.A.?

[sunandmoon 450]

Please, we've all heard about those rumors and tales, and we will achieve nothing if we post them here. They will always remain rumors and tales. Will do us no good broadcasting it here. Let's try to keep the atmosphere clean and friendly. Posting rumors and tales won't help. Anyways, this is just my opinion. PEACE...

I tend to agree. some people were willing to give honest answers to why they used a dating site. this thread has remained peaceful. to me, the last two questions could just open a can of worms. they seem counterproductive to what I thought was the intent of this thread.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Please, we've all heard about those rumors and tales, and we will achieve nothing if we post them here. They will always remain rumors and tales. Will do us no good broadcasting it here. Let's try to keep the atmosphere clean and friendly. Posting rumors and tales won't help. Anyways, this is just my opinion. PEACE...

I tend to agree. some people were willing to give honest answers to why they used a dating site. this thread has remained peaceful. to me, the last two questions could just open a can of worms. they seem counterproductive to what I thought was the intent of this thread.

Well, there has been some definite 'NO's!' and so I'm curious if one, there are Fil/Am couples here who are adamantly against international dating sites, and if they have experienced negative reactions from onlookers who might have said something to the sort of, 'Mail Order Bride.'

Edited December 30, 2008 by Mister Fancypants

[SMOKE 1,426]

so what brought this poll on anyway Mr. Fancypants?

[RonMay 1]

i guess to be fair, even if one doesnt meet in any dating sites, one has their own intentions (good or bad)...

[sunandmoon 450]

Please, we've all heard about those rumors and tales, and we will achieve nothing if we post them here. They will always remain rumors and tales. Will do us no good broadcasting it here. Let's try to keep the atmosphere clean and friendly. Posting rumors and tales won't help. Anyways, this is just my opinion. PEACE...

I tend to agree. some people were willing to give honest answers to why they used a dating site. this thread has remained peaceful. to me, the last two questions could just open a can of worms. they seem counterproductive to what I thought was the intent of this thread.

Well, there has been some definite 'NO's!' and so I'm curious if one, there are Fil/Am couples here who are adamantly against international dating sites, and if they have experienced negative reactions from onlookers who might have said something to the sort of, 'Mail Order Bride.'

maybe some of the emphatic NO's were because of the perceptions that exist of some people about FilAm relationships. "looking for a ticket to USA", " mail order bride" "when guy much older than woman". I didn't use a dating site, just not my thing. for some it works, for others it doesn't.

I've experienced some of the negative reactions from people about FilAm relationships. I've choose not to let it bother me, since doubtful I could change their attitudes.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

maybe some of the emphatic NO's were because of the perceptions that exist of some people about FilAm relationships. "looking for a ticket to USA", " mail order bride" "when guy much older than woman". I didn't use a dating site, just not my thing. for some it works, for others it doesn't.

I've experienced some of the negative reactions from people about FilAm relationships. I've choose not to let it bother me, since doubtful I could change their attitudes.

I suspect that the age gap combined with stark physical differences (large kano with petite Filipina) invite more curious onlookers than a couple who are closer in age and appearance. I agree that you can't really change people's attitudes, except perhaps friends and family. Even people at work - one question leads to another. It's a factor in these Fil/Am relationships that couples have to deal with in addition to adjustment of a new life together and new culture for her.