The Wedding

[lostinlove228 0]

I set the a date 3 times and now had to postpone until futher news from our best freinds...immigrations. It would not hurt if you bought the dress. That usually takes the longest. But for everything else plan but don't book anything. Thi whole process is meant for torture.

[calidreamer80 0]

TORTURE?? Nooooo way *note sarcasm* I'll give you that......blasted red tape

Ok so 6 months from the point of NOA2.......hmmmmm I think I can do that. I have been looking around and we pretty much know what venue we want, just have to book it. I let them know our situation as well so who knows how that might work out for us.

WHY does this have to be so painful?? Why can't it be PAINLESS.....yet again is there much in life that isnt?

[perfect 39]

Personally I wouldn't make any concrete plans until you know whether you're approved or get an RFE or whatever. Our was a strightforward case, no RFE or anything else negative, with the UK as the beneficiary country and it still took nine months.

We had the perfect wedding for us - planned it within ten days and I got my dress the day before - wouldn't have changed a thing or done anything differently if I had planned it nine months beforehand!

The best time to buy flights for family (if they're flying) is 30 days prior to travel...so I wouldn't stress too much about arrangements for family.

Unfortunately there are no guarantees about it being straightforward or about how long it may take. We're all pulling for you, knowing how you feel, wishing, hoping and praying that soon you'll get that approval notice.

Best wishes for the outcome you really want!

[Cassie 8]

We had most of the planning completed before we were able to pick the date, so that most of the hard stuff was done long before we set a date. We didn't pick a date until we had the NOA2 in hand, and then guestimated. Jerry got in touch with the wedding/reception site and the photographer/videographer, and explained our situation, and they agreed to be a bit more flexible in booking (especially since it looked like we would be married on a Sunday, which is traditionally not an "in demand" day). We ended up moving it back another month, and got everything we wanted.

I know what you are feeling about having your family there. Because of the timing and the distance, only my parents and my brother could fly in. So we made sure to get a good videographer, and made sure we got copies for our parents, our grandparents, and my brother's family (my sis in law was too pregnant at the time to fly ). We do not regret that decision at all, since the video turned out perfectly, and everyone got to see it. We also flew back last September with our pictures and wedding attire, and had a couple of parties so everyone could see us all decked out and celebrate a bit. It was fun, and actually a lot more relaxing than if we had a ton of people to deal with at our wedding.

I have to admit, it wasn't what I had originally imagined for my wedding, but it ended up being perfect.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Why not plan a ceremony date for aways out, 10 months, a year from now. Then, if you get the visa sooner, get legally married once everyone's together, and then have the fancy ceremony with friends and family at a later date without the hassles.

DH and I just got legally married. We're thinking of having a party next summer, maybe summer 07 depending on our money situation. That way we can plan without the added stress of worrying about how the visa process is going. That situation is stressful enough as it is without adding wedding stresses to it.

[calidreamer80 0]

Amen to that! See, my fiance's mother is making it difficult for me to plan the way I want. She's dead set on having a couple of handful's of his relatives there no matter what. So you see that makes more stress for me since I'm not one for big crowds anyway. If we could it have it my way, it would just be him and I and maybe our parents but that's it. She wants to bring his siblings, cousins, aunts & uncles into the whole affair. I've tried to reason with her and my fiance but it seems like things have to be HER way or no way. I don't want to lose a new family because I hurt someone's feelings u know? I mean....we thought of having a bigger ceremony once we got legally married for the visa but she's still intent on having about a dozen or so people there for that one too. I just want to elope and have it be done with but I don't think I'm going to get my way. I know she doesn't mean to make the situation more stressful but she is whether she intends to or not. I doubt most of my family will come because they can't afford to or dont have the time to go to California. I wish we could get married here but that would be against the rules since u have to get married in the States with a k-1 and not in Canada. It's all just so much more stressful than it needs to be. I don't know how to reason with anyone without feelings getting hurt.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Cali, you could always abandon the K-1, get married and persue the K-3. It's some $$ down the tube from the K-1 fees, but if it's easiest for you and your SO, go with it.

[ryecatcher25 0]

the simplest solution is to have a quick civil ceremony once your fiancee arrives and also plan a big formal wedding for a couple of months past when you think the visa will actually arrive. that way you can have a very high chance of the visa already having arrived and also go through with your big wedding.

But you can't have your cake and eat it too, so if you don't want to do the above then you will simply have to take a chance if you simply must have a large wedding.

by the way your hunch that your asking to have the wedding by a certain date wil do no good is correct. sorry. not to mention there could be hold ups in the process even after the approved petition leaves the service center.

[apeach601 0]

I would wait we decided to wait

[calidreamer80 0]

Yes I think I managed to get my fiance liking the idea of having a civil ceremony right away then having a bigger wedding later on. It's just telling his mom that's gonna be the hard part. Thanks for your input guys

[Jaylen Brit 0]

Don't forget (or tell yr So not to,lol) that its YOUR wedding - NOT your MIL's. I;m sure she wants to make it a perfect day, as he's her little boy, but the day is about YOU TWO.

If you can deal with a big 'something' then compromise and have her help (HELP not 'take over') planning a special family party, celebrating your union.

That way you both get what you want and she doesn't feel pushed out.

[Keigwyn 1]

Remember the K-1 is valid for 6 months and then you have 90 days to marry. So if you need to seriously plan you have plenty of time. However that means you will be apart for longer of course. We will not be doing any serious panning until the K-1 is in my sticky little mits!

[ajames79 0]

It's amazingly stressful isn't it!

We haven't even sent our paper work in yet. We have decided to send it out in may, and we have given our self about a year before we will have a wedding. Now according to some of the timelines for the Texas center it seems like that is a good plan.

We have also decided to have a small wedding...just our immediate family and then have parties in each country for all the friends and relatives. I decided that I could wear my wedding dress 3 times! Gotta get some use out of that sucker!

We, of course, just like everyone else have a hard time being away from eachother. We have our bad days and then really good days! At the end of this whole thing I will know that we worked hard to bring this together. There is nothing that will break that bond. So I will continue with my days...good or bad...and try and be patient. Believe me I am SOOO not patient.

[Miranda&James 8]

Well, the thing is, I don't think they even open your package to look at it until they actually begin processing it, and a lot of times (at least, this is what I think) they finish that processing in a really short amount of time, maybe even the same day. So, you can have a letter in there saying you want them to speed it up, but if they don't even open it until a couple months from now it doesn't do a lot of good. I could be completely wrong but this was kind of how I thought it went. Also, even if by some miracle they do read that letter and you get through CSC quickly there isn't anything they can do to speed up things at NVC (even though it is usually fast) and your embassy, there could be a long wait for interviews there. I know we all hope they might take pity on us and go faster but they see tons of cases every day and they can't really do any favors.

I'm REALLY not trying to be a party pooper for you (even though I know it sounds like I am), I just want you to not get your hopes up in a process that usually has quite a few bumps in the road that can derail plans. It is of course possible to make your August wedding, but for your own peace of mind I would probably bump it back. Besides, the visa is good for 6 months once issued, on top of that is the 90 days you have to get married once in the USA, so if you get it too early you have a good window there so your visa won't expire.

I'm in your same position with planning a wedding and hoping to get the visa on time, and if I could go back I would probably have bumped it up a month or so for my own (and my mothers, mostly!) peace of mind. This visa process is stressful but in the end what is important is marrying the person we love!!

[calidreamer80 0]

I agree with that! It is most important! I wish the process didnt have to be so complicated but those are the rules and we just gotta deal. It's hard to keep waiting considering my fiance just last night told me he thinks our relationship has grown about all it can while we are apart. We thought about the k-3 but he doesnt want to wait any longer to be together. He wont do it. He has to be together with me for our love to continue to grow. I sure do have lots of respect for ppl who persue cross-border/country relationships. It's not an easy thing and you sure do test ur strength level, dont you?? I want my wedding to be something special and not something that is thrown together at the last minute, you know? I think its more than likely we will end up having a civil ceremony or eloping to fulfill the visa requirments and then having a bigger celebration later on for family and friends. That way I can wear my dress too Thanks to everyone for their thoughts/ideas/support. It means mroe than you guys know.