divorce

[*Giuly and Rocky* 0]

Ok here is my experience...My fiancee tryed to get his divorce by himself. You can trust me that unless u know your States law very good you won't be able to get it done in short times. Especcially if she start to fight against it. He tried without a lawyer for 1 year and didnt get any results. Then he hired a lawyer and he got him divorce in less then 6 months. We paid him $ 6000 but it was worth. I strongly suggest u to talk to a lawyer about getting divorce if u wanna done it quickly. They may not be a lot of good immigration lawyer but I'm sure in the USA there are a lot good divorce lawyers.

Edited January 1, 2009 by *Giuly and Rocky*

[startingnow 0]

whoa...now i'm confused

again, thanks for the replies.

i have a lot of reading and researching to do. but while i do that i guess i should say that my main concern[not the only concern though] is my 'future money'. what i mean by that is when all is said and done, will she get any of my future money(SSI/pension)? i see some of you are saying she will get something. that's why i would like the divorce to be final BEFORE any deadlines. if it happens that i get the divorce final and the AOS is still in effect, so be it because i'm sure the AOS will be over shortly thereafter. am i making sense?

diadromous mermaid: thanks, i have to decipher that.

cindishah: i don't want to do that. i dont think eight years(more like 6yrs---she moved out 2yrs ago) -and no kids- is long enough for someone to get a portion of my pension. and i have at least 10yrs before i get my pension.

Giuly and Rocky: do you know of any other cases where the divorce took very long without a lawyer? after reading the other posts i was leaning toward doing it without a lawyer.

[Ling Ling 22]

Ok here is my experience...My fiancee tryed to get his divorce by himself. You can trust me that unless u know your States law very good you won't be able to get it done in short times. Especcially if she start to fight against it. He tried without a lawyer for 1 year and didnt get any results. Then he hired a lawyer and he got him divorce in less then 6 months. We paid him $ 6000 but it was worth. I strongly suggest u to talk to a lawyer about getting divorce if u wanna done it quickly. They may not be a lot of good immigration lawyer but I'm sure in the USA there are a lot good divorce lawyers.

I have to wholeheartedly disagree with your blanket advice. In an uncontested divorce, or at least one where the parties are still able to speak without screaming,

involving a lawyer will only eat up time and money. If one party has an attorney, it's usually a good idea that the other party have an attorney (often judges will insist on both parties having representation). If you can't navigate the internet and legal forms, it may be a good idea to seek legal advice.

Finally (I'm not saying this is the case) but there are a lot of people that SAY they're working on a divorce, when in fact they're not doing anything.

So the first year "could have been" stalling and/or preparation. Believe it or not, sometimes a person will say what they think you want to hear,

even if it's not the truth.

[LorriQ 0]

divorce timeline depends on what state you live in - some take 6 months from intial filing some 30 days.

file for legal separation - cuts all financial ties, income as well as debt.

[*Giuly and Rocky* 0]

Ok here is my experience...My fiancee tryed to get his divorce by himself. You can trust me that unless u know your States law very good you won't be able to get it done in short times. Especcially if she start to fight against it. He tried without a lawyer for 1 year and didnt get any results. Then he hired a lawyer and he got him divorce in less then 6 months. We paid him $ 6000 but it was worth. I strongly suggest u to talk to a lawyer about getting divorce if u wanna done it quickly. They may not be a lot of good immigration lawyer but I'm sure in the USA there are a lot good divorce lawyers.

I have to wholeheartedly disagree with your blanket advice. In an uncontested divorce, or at least one where the parties are still able to speak without screaming,

involving a lawyer will only eat up time and money. If one party has an attorney, it's usually a good idea that the other party have an attorney (often judges will insist on both parties having representation). If you can't navigate the internet and legal forms, it may be a good idea to seek legal advice.

Finally (I'm not saying this is the case) but there are a lot of people that SAY they're working on a divorce, when in fact they're not doing anything.

So the first year "could have been" stalling and/or preparation. Believe it or not, sometimes a person will say what they think you want to hear,

even if it's not the truth.

I respect your opinion but I think there is about a 90% of chances that when u start to talk about money with the other part there won't be a lot of nice communication. But of course this is just my experience. The OP sure knows if his soon to be ex wife is going to fight him or not about money support and retairment benefits. If he is sure she won't fight against him then he can try to get him by himself. If not I think he should get a consultation with a lawyer. From my personal point of view I don't see anything bad on getting advices from a lawyer.

Edited January 1, 2009 by *Giuly and Rocky*

[Ling Ling 22]

Ok here is my experience...My fiancee tryed to get his divorce by himself. You can trust me that unless u know your States law very good you won't be able to get it done in short times. Especcially if she start to fight against it. He tried without a lawyer for 1 year and didnt get any results. Then he hired a lawyer and he got him divorce in less then 6 months. We paid him $ 6000 but it was worth. I strongly suggest u to talk to a lawyer about getting divorce if u wanna done it quickly. They may not be a lot of good immigration lawyer but I'm sure in the USA there are a lot good divorce lawyers.

I have to wholeheartedly disagree with your blanket advice. In an uncontested divorce, or at least one where the parties are still able to speak without screaming,

involving a lawyer will only eat up time and money. If one party has an attorney, it's usually a good idea that the other party have an attorney (often judges will insist on both parties having representation). If you can't navigate the internet and legal forms, it may be a good idea to seek legal advice.

Finally (I'm not saying this is the case) but there are a lot of people that SAY they're working on a divorce, when in fact they're not doing anything.

So the first year "could have been" stalling and/or preparation. Believe it or not, sometimes a person will say what they think you want to hear,

even if it's not the truth.

I respect your opinion but I think there is about a 90% of chances that when u start to talk about money with the other part there won't be a lot of nice communication. But of course this is just my experience. The OP sure knows if his soon to be ex wife is going to fight him or not about money support and retairment benefits. If he is sure she won't fight against him then he can try to get him by himself. If not I think he should get a consultation with a lawyer. From my personal point of view I don't see anything bad on getting advices from a lawyer.

You make some good points. If there are substantial assets to be divided, it may be a good idea to retain representation.

Even if the spouse is willing to yield claims to assets, most courts will intervene by insisting on or appointing an attorney for one or each spouse.

The goal should be to reach a fair agreement before venturing into court....regardless of who's right or who deserves what.

If you don't decide, the judge will.

[startingnow 0]

hi folks. i'm back. sorry for the delay.

ok, so how do i get started with the divorce? what would be my first step? where do i get the paperwork? how far can i get before i have to tell her? don't know what else to ask you guys so please feel free to fill in the gaps.

thanks.

[MihaelaNYS 10]

hi folks. i'm back. sorry for the delay.

ok, so how do i get started with the divorce?

-well, depends on the laws for the state you are in. There are states that require grounds for divorce (then, you need one). Look up the internet.

what would be my first step? where do i get the paperwork?

- you will find on the net, on the official website the forms that you have to fill out for divorce. I give you an example for NYS:

http://www.courts.state.ny.us/ip/matrimoni...ers/forms.shtml

Also, whenever you want to find a case that is active, you find it there ... is no mystery how USCIS can find if somebody is in divorce proceedings at the time of application or not ...

(that's how I found out about the stage of one of my acquaintance's divorce).

http://iapps.courts.state.ny.us/webcivil/FCASFAQ

E-search...

how far can i get before i have to tell her?

- The best way is to tell her right from the start and have an amiable divorce. Otherwise, there are states where divorce can be contested and then.... it can take yearssss... so, is better if both of you agree what to do.

After you file the papers for divorce, she will have usualy 20-30 days to response and if she doesnt then your case goes on the court's callendar for uncontested divorces (depending on how much load is there, takes a few months for the judge to sign the divorce decree).

You can find all the info in the net.

Or, if you have some money to spend, hire a divorce lawyer.(highly not recommended) ... interviewing lawyers and choosing the best one, is a whole new story...

[startingnow 0]

hi guys.

it's been a while, but now we're ready for the divorce. we have talked and she and i agreed to get it done right now. does anyone know of a lawyer in the NYC area? we will not split anything, so any assets are not an issue. she went to the courts and got the paper work, but she said it was a lot of forms to read. maybe we can have a consultation with a lawyer to get an idea on price and duration(especially since we have no kids or financial issues to address).

thanks

p.s.: our 10 year anniversay is in october. i want to get it done BEFORE then.

[Old Dominion 26]

No lawyer can represent both you and your soon to be ex-spouse. It is unethical. So, there is no short-cut; read and complete the paperwork and file as instructed. There are plenty of good divorce lawyers in NYC. Try the internet.

Left without a clear agreement between the two of you, a judge will grant your spouse some compensation for the assets gathered during the ten years spent together.

[thongd4me 69]

Divorce Mediation

You might think about mediation as an alternative to being represented by one attorney.

You still have to have the agreement drawn up by a legal professional, but the

devil is in the details and an adversarial attorney won't necessarily help the two of

you come to an agreement which is what you want. My ex didn't want to go for

mediation and I think that decision cost us both more than $10,000.

[startingnow 0]

thanks for the reply.

wow, that's a lot of money. sorry to hear that.

i've heard about mediators. i guess i'll read up on it. typically, how much would you think they charge? and do you know how does mediation affect my 10yr "date"? that's my main concern right now. i need to protect my money.