Married to a Nigerian and still together?

[idocare 3]

Well said Sylvia;

Many many that have been woed by another in a third world country will fall victim

of this greencard scam. I can't blame anyone for following their heart tho. I followed

my heart; and I was scammed. Funny thing is that my ex-husband shared with me about others being scammed; but never mentioned that he too was a scammer. I didn't hear it from his family; or any of his friends that I met. They just choice to played the dumb role when he started his exit tatics.

One of his friends in New York called me the day he moved out for good and told me that he told him to just forget about it; she now has your son. I had already knew that he intended to leave tho because I was really really good to him; so he had to try really really hard to bring discourse and arguments. He achieved his goal and walked away.

He managed to manipulate the American system to file a VAWA. His actions won't get him far tho. To this day he isn't a practicing doctor in this country; so imagine that; a doctor that is used to people kissing his behind now having to work for poverty pay, then getting his wages garnished.

Don't get me wrong; Nigerians have a really good support system here in America,

THEY WILL LOOK OUT FOR THEIR OWN ONCE THEY HIT AMERICAN SOIL. Just as another American would look out for a American that they meet in Nigeria.

My ex-husband is in no way coasting clear. He is a scammer and it will all bear down deeply on him. Let's just all hope that the father of Victor Obinna Ezike Jr. will not be coming to a hospital as a resident near you.

As far as know; my son is a first son; his father walked out on us when he was just 3-weeks old after naming him. How much lower can a man go?

The long of the short is that he wanted to come into this country so bad . That's where morals and values come into play. My ex-husband lacks in that area.

I can remember reading a book talking about when Britain ruled Nigeria they said that was the most wicked place they have ever seen.

Peeps need to study their fiances history; and not be so quick to respond to those words I Love You:( know can you come live with me; no I need to come to you) we'd have a better life there in America.

Think; people ; if they are coming from a third world country, and you feel that you wouldn't be able to meet someone like them currently in your own courtry; (because of age; physical looks or whatever) give them a good lookin at. Especially if you never dated anyone from another country; let me tell you many people from a third world county marry just to get a better live for them and their wives and family.

I am a victim of a greencard marriage. My youngest son's father used me as a tool to get him into America. People in foreign lands know American immigration law and how to manipulate it to their benifit. As I have said many times before; if this does happen to you please contact your local congressman and let them know of how it all played out.

American values are not shared by Nigerians trying to get a better life for them and their kids and wives. Don't become the next victim!!!!

Edited February 1, 2009 by idocare

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

Nigeria is a different place from the US. There is a whole segment of the culture that gets by on cheating others. I remember how amazed I was about the signs on the houses that boldly stated "This building not for sale beware 419". This time I was there at the end of the application period for the diversity visa. Everyone was subnitting their applications including many that didn't meet the requirements because of the visa processing businesses that promised they would "get them through"

In a culture with deciept and corruption so open it isn't suprising that those that want to shortcut the lottery will find an American to get them here. They know we have no way of checking their past like someone there would.

Each and everyone of us has a partner that expresses great love for us and showers us with more attention than we are used to. How does one tell if you have a good apple or bad ? I am not sure if there is a way other than to study your partner.

[idocare 3]

It's so hard to study anyone that lives so so far away. It's equally hard to just show up in their Country at their front door step. (some countries your can) Each and every time you go to visit a place like Nigeria it usually requires being sponsored. They know when your coming, and they prepare for that, so you find yourself seeing and doing what they have prepared. It's hard to tell what type of mate a person will be without

spending quality time.

In regular relationships within a state, the persons try to be together on weekends, or daily depending on work schedules and how far apart they live from one another; still it sometimes takes a while to discover that your intended mate has some personal flaws that you just can't tolerate. I heard the word love and decided to go on and try bringing a professional Alien here to America, believeing that he had morals and was an honest man. I believed all his e-mails to me proclaiming his ever lasting love etc.etc.

I understand when people on here read about how I was scammed and think that will never happen to them. Before my ex.-husband came I thought the same thing, I didn't understand that the morals and values and being respectful of others rule that I was raise with were so so different from what he was raised with. I could imagine liveing in any third world country would open up an understanding of who that person really is.

But while they are gettin others to spend money in their behalf and pretty much give them a guaranteed free trip to America ( As long as they do their part and Marry them once they get here) your gonna see the cooperative side of that Alien after all who ever the American sponsor is saving them lots of money too. ( apply for K-3 or K-1 visa )

They already know that they don't have to stay married too long; just long enough to get their papers; or they can leave sooner if they get an support system working with them just months after entering and sending in the adjustment papers.

The two times that I traveled to a third world country eveyone on the streets there were really nice people. It took a minute, but you do adjust. But trust me; if my ex.-husband treated me bad while I was visiting him in his country I would of known not to continue the K-1 process in his behalf. He knew to be a good man to me; and he knew that once I sent in his adjustment of statis that he was gonna leave. He became a very different person, yelling and screaming and blaming me for all kinds of crazy things.

Still I believe he's somewhere laughing and telling his other collegues ( potential scammers ) how it all went down and some things they could do to make the American spouse ask them to just leave.

What so ever a man sows; that shall he also reap.

Edited February 2, 2009 by idocare

[Naijabound 1]

It's so hard to study anyone that lives so so far away. It's equally hard to just show up in their Country at their front door step. (some countries your can) Each and every time you go to visit a place like Nigeria it usually requires being sponsored. They know when your coming, and they prepare for that, so you find yourself seeing and doing what they have prepared. It's hard to tell what type of mate a person will be without

spending quality time.

In regular relationships within a state, the persons try to be together on weekends, or daily depending on work schedules and how far apart they live from one another; still it sometimes takes a while to discover that your intended mate has some personal flaws that you just can't tolerate. I heard the word love and decided to go on and try bringing a professional Alien here to America, believeing that he had morals and was an honest man. I believed all his e-mails to me proclaiming his ever lasting love etc.etc.

I understand when people on here read about how I was scammed and think that will never happen to them. Before my ex.-husband came I thought the same thing, I didn't understand that the morals and values and being respectful of others rule that I was raise with were so so different from what he was raised with. I could imagine liveing in any third world country would open up an understanding of who that person really is.

But while they are gettin others to spend money in their behalf and pretty much give them a guaranteed free trip to America ( As long as they do their part and Marry them once they get here) your gonna see the cooperative side of that Alien after all who ever the American sponsor is saving them lots of money too. ( apply for K-3 or K-1 visa )

They already know that they don't have to stay married too long; just long enough to get their papers; or they can leave sooner if they get an support system working with them just months after entering and sending in the adjustment papers.

The two times that I traveled to a third world country eveyone on the streets there were really nice people. It took a minute, but you do adjust. But trust me; if my ex.-husband treated me bad while I was visiting him in his country I would of known not to continue the K-1 process in his behalf. He knew to be a good man to me; and he knew that once I sent in his adjustment of statis that he was gonna leave. He became a very different person, yelling and screaming and blaming me for all kinds of crazy things.

Still I believe he's somewhere laughing and telling his other collegues ( potential scammers ) how it all went down and some things they could do to make the American spouse ask them to just leave.

What so ever a man sows; that shall he also reap.

So what do we do? Just pray for the best?

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

It's so hard to study anyone that lives so so far away. It's equally hard to just show up in their Country at their front door step. (some countries your can) Each and every time you go to visit a place like Nigeria it usually requires being sponsored. They know when your coming, and they prepare for that, so you find yourself seeing and doing what they have prepared. It's hard to tell what type of mate a person will be without

spending quality time.

In regular relationships within a state, the persons try to be together on weekends, or daily depending on work schedules and how far apart they live from one another; still it sometimes takes a while to discover that your intended mate has some personal flaws that you just can't tolerate. I heard the word love and decided to go on and try bringing a professional Alien here to America, believeing that he had morals and was an honest man. I believed all his e-mails to me proclaiming his ever lasting love etc.etc.

I understand when people on here read about how I was scammed and think that will never happen to them. Before my ex.-husband came I thought the same thing, I didn't understand that the morals and values and being respectful of others rule that I was raise with were so so different from what he was raised with. I could imagine liveing in any third world country would open up an understanding of who that person really is.

But while they are gettin others to spend money in their behalf and pretty much give them a guaranteed free trip to America ( As long as they do their part and Marry them once they get here) your gonna see the cooperative side of that Alien after all who ever the American sponsor is saving them lots of money too. ( apply for K-3 or K-1 visa )

They already know that they don't have to stay married too long; just long enough to get their papers; or they can leave sooner if they get an support system working with them just months after entering and sending in the adjustment papers.

The two times that I traveled to a third world country eveyone on the streets there were really nice people. It took a minute, but you do adjust. But trust me; if my ex.-husband treated me bad while I was visiting him in his country I would of known not to continue the K-1 process in his behalf. He knew to be a good man to me; and he knew that once I sent in his adjustment of statis that he was gonna leave. He became a very different person, yelling and screaming and blaming me for all kinds of crazy things.

Still I believe he's somewhere laughing and telling his other collegues ( potential scammers ) how it all went down and some things they could do to make the American spouse ask them to just leave.

What so ever a man sows; that shall he also reap.

So what do we do? Just pray for the best?

Ask to hear God's voice when you pray. Pray for unbiased guidance. Ask Him to show you His plan for your life. Ask Him for revelation about your relationship with your SO.

[Old Dominion 26]

Or, just avoid Nigerians altogether?? A few have settled here in the boondocks and soon show that they can't be trusted in one way or another. That's not a good thing.

[Zee Bee 61]

Or, just avoid Nigerians altogether?? A few have settled here in the boondocks and soon show that they can't be trusted in one way or another. That's not a good thing.

So she should avoid her fiance? Thats not very nice.

[Perseverance 1]

Hey now take it easy....that is NOT cool. Not all Nigerians are scammers, that is like saying all Americans are stupid. Lets take it easy and remember TOS please.

Or, just avoid Nigerians altogether?? A few have settled here in the boondocks and soon show that they can't be trusted in one way or another. That's not a good thing.

[Zee Bee 61]

Hey now take it easy....that is NOT cool. Not all Nigerians are scammers, that is like saying all Americans are stupid. Lets take it easy and remember TOS please.

Or, just avoid Nigerians altogether?? A few have settled here in the boondocks and soon show that they can't be trusted in one way or another. That's not a good thing.

Some generalizations are not necesary. No need to classify a whole country by what a few do.

Its getting old

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

I DETEST stereotypes!!!! Just after I met my SO I went searching online for something more than "Oh a Nigerian - stay away from them!" I couldn't believe educated people would get sucked into believing stereotype. It was so frustrating, NONE of these people had ANY experience with someone from Nigeria either. Anyways, found an awesome forum and met MANY MANY MANY wonderful Nigerian men and women.

[Old Dominion 26]

Hey now take it easy....that is NOT cool. Not all Nigerians are scammers, that is like saying all Americans are stupid. Lets take it easy and remember TOS please.

Or, just avoid Nigerians altogether?? A few have settled here in the boondocks and soon show that they can't be trusted in one way or another. That's not a good thing.

Even asking the question to begin with invited my kind of response, based entirely on personal experience and the experiences of others in this general community. I'm not given to stereotypes but one needs to be extra alert in befriending anyone now living in Nigeria.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

There are huge classes of people that would sell their souls to come to America. Because they believe that here they will have a better chance no matter what. People who are in a desperately poor areas will most likely do more desperate things. Nigeria is one of the poorest countries in the world so there are many desperate people there. Does this mean that they are evil and all out to use love as a method to get ahead. No But it does mean that some will see it as a possibility. Just like not all cashiers will slip money from the register, but some will. I would guess they think they are disadvantaged and that the ones they are taking advantage of are just a symbol of the other extreme. Does a business owner hire a clerk expecting to be ripped off ? Where they negligent in hiring the person that eventually ripped them off. What signs did they miss. I bet many in hind sight will remember something "funny" about the bad employee. But I bet many praised early behavior ( They stay late every night making sure things are ready for the morning ) until they realize the real reason for it. Should they investigate every new hire ? How much checking out is good ? At what point is it useless. Every couple here has made the decision to have a relationship based on some sort of "qualification test" Was the test complete enough ? Time will tell. History shows that many things we shrug off as cultural differences may in fact be early warning signs that aren't clear to us. Discussions like this may cause a few that have hidden questions to re examine their relationships. Hopefully whatever qualification tests we have preformed on each other were sufficient to let us know enough of the future that we will not enter the ranks of the scammed. It is a terrible thing that one person would knowingly do that to another. Fortunately many of us will have outstanding wonderful and interesting lives. The rest will fall somewhere in between the two extremes. But at least we have each other to help out.

[Simply_Uno 1]

It's so hard to study anyone that lives so so far away. It's equally hard to just show up in their Country at their front door step. (some countries your can) Each and every time you go to visit a place like Nigeria it usually requires being sponsored. They know when your coming, and they prepare for that, so you find yourself seeing and doing what they have prepared. It's hard to tell what type of mate a person will be without

spending quality time.

In regular relationships within a state, the persons try to be together on weekends, or daily depending on work schedules and how far apart they live from one another; still it sometimes takes a while to discover that your intended mate has some personal flaws that you just can't tolerate. I heard the word love and decided to go on and try bringing a professional Alien here to America, believeing that he had morals and was an honest man. I believed all his e-mails to me proclaiming his ever lasting love etc.etc.

I understand when people on here read about how I was scammed and think that will never happen to them. Before my ex.-husband came I thought the same thing, I didn't understand that the morals and values and being respectful of others rule that I was raise with were so so different from what he was raised with. I could imagine liveing in any third world country would open up an understanding of who that person really is.

But while they are gettin others to spend money in their behalf and pretty much give them a guaranteed free trip to America ( As long as they do their part and Marry them once they get here) your gonna see the cooperative side of that Alien after all who ever the American sponsor is saving them lots of money too. ( apply for K-3 or K-1 visa )

They already know that they don't have to stay married too long; just long enough to get their papers; or they can leave sooner if they get an support system working with them just months after entering and sending in the adjustment papers.

The two times that I traveled to a third world country eveyone on the streets there were really nice people. It took a minute, but you do adjust. But trust me; if my ex.-husband treated me bad while I was visiting him in his country I would of known not to continue the K-1 process in his behalf. He knew to be a good man to me; and he knew that once I sent in his adjustment of statis that he was gonna leave. He became a very different person, yelling and screaming and blaming me for all kinds of crazy things.

Still I believe he's somewhere laughing and telling his other collegues ( potential scammers ) how it all went down and some things they could do to make the American spouse ask them to just leave.

What so ever a man sows; that shall he also reap.

they don't know, they don't know

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

There are huge classes of people that would sell their souls to come to America. Because they believe that here they will have a better chance no matter what. People who are in a desperately poor areas will most likely do more desperate things. Nigeria is one of the poorest countries in the world so there are many desperate people there. Does this mean that they are evil and all out to use love as a method to get ahead. No But it does mean that some will see it as a possibility. Just like not all cashiers will slip money from the register, but some will. I would guess they think they are disadvantaged and that the ones they are taking advantage of are just a symbol of the other extreme. Does a business owner hire a clerk expecting to be ripped off ? Where they negligent in hiring the person that eventually ripped them off. What signs did they miss. I bet many in hind sight will remember something "funny" about the bad employee. But I bet many praised early behavior ( They stay late every night making sure things are ready for the morning ) until they realize the real reason for it. Should they investigate every new hire ? How much checking out is good ? At what point is it useless. Every couple here has made the decision to have a relationship based on some sort of "qualification test" Was the test complete enough ? Time will tell. History shows that many things we shrug off as cultural differences may in fact be early warning signs that aren't clear to us. Discussions like this may cause a few that have hidden questions to re examine their relationships. Hopefully whatever qualification tests we have preformed on each other were sufficient to let us know enough of the future that we will not enter the ranks of the scammed. It is a terrible thing that one person would knowingly do that to another. Fortunately many of us will have outstanding wonderful and interesting lives. The rest will fall somewhere in between the two extremes. But at least we have each other to help out.

Very eloquently put, Sylvia.

[Simply_Uno 1]

There are huge classes of people that would sell their souls to come to America. Because they believe that here they will have a better chance no matter what. People who are in a desperately poor areas will most likely do more desperate things. Nigeria is one of the poorest countries in the world so there are many desperate people there. Does this mean that they are evil and all out to use love as a method to get ahead. No But it does mean that some will see it as a possibility. Just like not all cashiers will slip money from the register, but some will. I would guess they think they are disadvantaged and that the ones they are taking advantage of are just a symbol of the other extreme. Does a business owner hire a clerk expecting to be ripped off ? Where they negligent in hiring the person that eventually ripped them off. What signs did they miss. I bet many in hind sight will remember something "funny" about the bad employee. But I bet many praised early behavior ( They stay late every night making sure things are ready for the morning ) until they realize the real reason for it. Should they investigate every new hire ? How much checking out is good ? At what point is it useless. Every couple here has made the decision to have a relationship based on some sort of "qualification test" Was the test complete enough ? Time will tell. History shows that

many things we shrug off as cultural differences may in fact be early warning signs that aren't clear to us. Discussions like this may cause a few that have hidden questions to re examine their relationships. Hopefully whatever qualification tests we have preformed on each other were sufficient to let us know enough of the future that we will not enter the ranks of the scammed. It is a terrible thing that one person would knowingly do that to another. Fortunately many of us will have outstanding wonderful and interesting lives. The rest will fall somewhere in between the two extremes. But at least we have each other to help out.

Sylvia, you could not have stated it more clearly

{there is truly a difference between cultural differences, cultural practices, cultural ingnorance and inherent igorance. as adults dealing in transcontinental/transcultural relationships, one must educate him/herself to which is which and stop making excuses for jacked up behaviours for the sake of luuuvvvvv }

I thank God for stepping in on my behalf

{thats what HE does when you ask for clarity and inclination to HIS will and not your own}and BLOCKING IT ALL so that I would not fall

All praises be to God Most High