Married to a Nigerian and still together?

[2gathawestand 0]

This forum has been very informational, thanks for posting for all of us. And please do share the recipes

[LovinLiberia 0]

I'm not married to a Nigerian, but I found this thread to be informative and helpful. It was interesting to read about some of the cultural differences because those are some of the things I have encountered with my husband. I'm glad to see there are still people hanging in there and sticking it out through the struggles. Best of luck to you all.

[babynursetobe 0]

I'm soooo glad others have found this helpful as well! I hope others continue to post some more good things for us all........

[merijan 0]

I think that all of us struggle with the cultural differences no matter where our husband is from. The main thing is for both to have respect , accepting each others bad habits as well as good. And I find alot of times we Americans grow up thinking that other things in other cultures are so strange and how do they think like that or why do they do that... so on. However if we just take the time to know the culture and understand enough to respect that difference we can actually learn from each other.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Very well said merijan.

My husband's culture has such a high admiration for in-laws. At our Christmas eve family gathering he greated my mom and dad (now serperated & remairred) as if the King and Queen had entered our home. I know it made my dad uncomfortable, but to know the love and good intention my husband has behind his greetings made me that much more proud to say he is my husband. Several days later my dad was quickly dropping off gifts from extended family he visited with. My dad being the stop and go guy he is was surprised when my husband jumped up to great him at the door from accross the room. My dad wasn't in my home long enough to shut the door behind him and didn't even come in to ask how everyone was doing. Yet my in-laws all had to speak with me at lengths about how I am. I just can only hope that my husband is not offended by my Dad's behavior.

Even my son's father arrived he jumped up to shake his hand and invited him to have a seat. Now if anyone of you knew just an hour worth of mine and my ex's past you would have gasped. Too funny. I have come a log way baby!

I think that all of us struggle with the cultural differences no matter where our husband is from. The main thing is for both to have respect , accepting each others bad habits as well as good. And I find alot of times we Americans grow up thinking that other things in other cultures are so strange and how do they think like that or why do they do that... so on. However if we just take the time to know the culture and understand enough to respect that difference we can actually learn from each other.

[babynursetobe 0]

Very well said merijan.

My husband's culture has such a high admiration for in-laws. At our Christmas eve family gathering he greated my mom and dad (now serperated & remairred) as if the King and Queen had entered our home. I know it made my dad uncomfortable, but to know the love and good intention my husband has behind his greetings made me that much more proud to say he is my husband. Several days later my dad was quickly dropping off gifts from extended family he visited with. My dad being the stop and go guy he is was surprised when my husband jumped up to great him at the door from accross the room. My dad wasn't in my home long enough to shut the door behind him and didn't even come in to ask how everyone was doing. Yet my in-laws all had to speak with me at lengths about how I am. I just can only hope that my husband is not offended by my Dad's behavior.

Even my son's father arrived he jumped up to shake his hand and invited him to have a seat. Now if anyone of you knew just an hour worth of mine and my ex's past you would have gasped. Too funny. I have come a log way baby!

I think that all of us struggle with the cultural differences no matter where our husband is from. The main thing is for both to have respect , accepting each others bad habits as well as good. And I find alot of times we Americans grow up thinking that other things in other cultures are so strange and how do they think like that or why do they do that... so on. However if we just take the time to know the culture and understand enough to respect that difference we can actually learn from each other.

I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way about my husband and his family. His culture has such respect for their elders (as well as peers) and we in America don't see that much anymore. Its kind of sad. I was brought up to be very respectful of my elders as well, but I don't think to the degree they are in Nigeria. I love the way they greet each other. My husband even taught me how to greet them properly, which they all loved for me to do. I think we all live such busy lives in America especially and we forget about how much the little things really mean. We all could benefit from a major SLOWWWW down! LOL.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

Years ago when I was first learning about Nigeria from my best friend he said that he would retire there. I asked why. He said when you go there look to see if you find any nursing homes. Nigerians would never do that to their elders.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Yes, it is more then just respect. It is a reverence. Parent do not lecture their children by saying.. "respect your elders", then turn around and be disrespectful to someone. The children learn by watching their family respect people.

It is true sincerity!

Years ago when I was first learning about Nigeria from my best friend he said that he would retire there. I asked why. He said when you go there look to see if you find any nursing homes. Nigerians would never do that to their elders.

[babynursetobe 0]

Retiring in Nigeria huh?? Now that's an idea!! Your friend is right they would NEVER do that to those they love. Its a totally different way of life.

Your soooo right Mrs. Jibowu. That happens alot. We tend to live by "do as I say not do as I do"............

Yes, it is more then just respect. It is a reverence. Parent do not lecture their children by saying.. "respect your elders", then turn around and be disrespectful to someone. The children learn by watching their family respect people.

It is true sincerity!

Years ago when I was first learning about Nigeria from my best friend he said that he would retire there. I asked why. He said when you go there look to see if you find any nursing homes. Nigerians would never do that to their elders.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

Joseph and I are considering the retiring in Nigeria option. Between the SS benifits and the money the Nigerian government will be paying us we can be confortable there. But there is the prediction of a major north/south war by 2025 so we will have to see.

Retiring in Nigeria huh?? Now that's an idea!! Your friend is right they would NEVER do that to those they love. Its a totally different way of life.

Your soooo right Mrs. Jibowu. That happens alot. We tend to live by "do as I say not do as I do"............

Yes, it is more then just respect. It is a reverence. Parent do not lecture their children by saying.. "respect your elders", then turn around and be disrespectful to someone. The children learn by watching their family respect people.

It is true sincerity!

Years ago when I was first learning about Nigeria from my best friend he said that he would retire there. I asked why. He said when you go there look to see if you find any nursing homes. Nigerians would never do that to their elders.

[babynursetobe 0]

Ya I wouldn't exactly call it "retiring" amongst a war..........

Who is predicting that??

Joseph and I are considering the retiring in Nigeria option. Between the SS benifits and the money the Nigerian government will be paying us we can be confortable there. But there is the prediction of a major north/south war by 2025 so we will have to see.

Retiring in Nigeria huh?? Now that's an idea!! Your friend is right they would NEVER do that to those they love. Its a totally different way of life.

Your soooo right Mrs. Jibowu. That happens alot. We tend to live by "do as I say not do as I do"............

Yes, it is more then just respect. It is a reverence. Parent do not lecture their children by saying.. "respect your elders", then turn around and be disrespectful to someone. The children learn by watching their family respect people.

It is true sincerity!

Years ago when I was first learning about Nigeria from my best friend he said that he would retire there. I asked why. He said when you go there look to see if you find any nursing homes. Nigerians would never do that to their elders.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

A forcast prepared for our government pointing out that many factors , unemployeed youth , the current unrest in the oil producing areas, tribal differences and the vast differences between the Chirstian east and the exteme muslim north make it probably for armed conflict most likely along a north south divide but possibly almong a Biafrian model. It was being qoated heavily in the nigerian press while I was there in early December. About a week later I remember killing in the north after a local election that caused retaliation killing in the east.

Ya I wouldn't exactly call it "retiring" amongst a war..........

Who is predicting that??

Joseph and I are considering the retiring in Nigeria option. Between the SS benifits and the money the Nigerian government will be paying us we can be confortable there. But there is the prediction of a major north/south war by 2025 so we will have to see.

Retiring in Nigeria huh?? Now that's an idea!! Your friend is right they would NEVER do that to those they love. Its a totally different way of life.

Your soooo right Mrs. Jibowu. That happens alot. We tend to live by "do as I say not do as I do"............

Yes, it is more then just respect. It is a reverence. Parent do not lecture their children by saying.. "respect your elders", then turn around and be disrespectful to someone. The children learn by watching their family respect people.

It is true sincerity!

Years ago when I was first learning about Nigeria from my best friend he said that he would retire there. I asked why. He said when you go there look to see if you find any nursing homes. Nigerians would never do that to their elders.

[Staashi 371]

Sorry guess I didn't realize how to post the question?? Or where to post it for that matter.......I tend to hang out in the mena forum more than others and still kind of new to vj so my apologies if I irritated anyone with my question...........

not a problem, it's what some of us live for

Thanks Charles I'm noticing that to be very true the more and more I hang around here and read the posts!

Michelle, please know that this is what I was trying to get for you. I have seen you in the MENA forum, but I knew that your request for information would be better served in the Sub-Saharan forum. I just wanted you to gain the best access to info that you were looking for.

All the best to you - and we'll keep on keeping on over in MENA!

Thanks so much for looking out for me Staashi. I'm still pretty new to this site and still learning things. I tend to hang out in the MENA forum mostly cuz I have gotten to know everyone there more so than anywhere else. Hopefully you all won't kick me out just yet?? LOL. I am definately feeling much better and did get some of my questions answered even though my post offended someone from Nigeria, which wasnt' my intention, but oh well "such is life" I guess. Can't make all the people happy all of the time can we?? Thanks again!

No, we cannot, especially here on VJ. You are quite welcome!

[onwa 6]

My husband will have been in the states for 4 years in a few months. We've been married 3 1/2 years. Sometimes our marriage sucks and sometimes our marriage is awesome.

[S&S 1]

in a few months, we would have been married 4 years. still together and loving it no Major problems, we are pretty much in tune with one another. we have the usual squabbles as in any relationship. we both share our daily responsibilities of work,chores,cooking etc. Good luck with your relationship and we both wish you the best.