Bin Laden Latest Madoff Casualty

[one...two...tree 2,762]

The alleged Ponzi scheme of New York investment manager Bernie Madoff has claimed yet another victim, as al-Qaeda kingpin Osama bin Laden today revealed that he lost over $1 billion in the fraud.

While the roster of Madoff victims have included many prominent names from the world of entertainment and the media, such as Steven Spielberg and Mortimer Zuckerman, Mr. bin Laden is believed to be the first acknowledged casualty from the world of terror.

Mr. bin Laden made the rueful announcement in the form of a video, broadcast on the Arabic-language al-Jazeera network and around the world.

Speaking from what appears to be a cave, he said that he had invested with Mr. Madoff because the investment wiz had promised an annual return of ten percent, adding, "Now I don't know who to trust."

The al-Qaeda leader remained vague about how he had first made contact with Mr. Madoff, saying only that they had a mutual friend at a Palm Beach country club.

He added that the losses due to the Madoff fraud would have an immediate impact on al-Qaeda's financial health, forcing the terror network to shutter several regional offices and to cut back on the production values of Mr. bin Laden's videos.

While some expressed shock that a terrorist like Mr. bin Laden could become ensnared in a financial fraud like Mr. Madoff's, "It's not surprising at all," said North Korean president Kim Jong-Il.

"I'm offered shady investment schemes every day of the week," said Mr. Kim from his office in Pyongyang. "This is why I keep all my money in Treasuries."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowit...c_b_153690.html

[Scott & Lai 12]

"Now I don't know who to trust."

[HAL 9000 96]

Wow... so why doesn't he cut himself open with a box cutter like that French dude did?

[mox 298]

It's so sad because this whole Global Terrorism thing was really starting to catch on. Now thanks to that douche Madoff, we probably won't see another attack for months, if not years. That will invariably lead to a loss of jobs and taxes, which will hurt hard working middle class families. I for one would support a bailout. I know that Global Terrorism should support itself, but times are tough right now and we need to start thinking outside the cave.

[HAL 9000 96]

It's so sad because this whole Global Terrorism thing was really starting to catch on. Now thanks to that douche Madoff, we probably won't see another attack for months, if not years. That will invariably lead to a loss of jobs and taxes, which will hurt hard working middle class families. I for one would support a bailout. I know that Global Terrorism should support itself, but times are tough right now and we need to start thinking outside the cave.

Do you think the GT organization should hurry on up before the end of the Bush term to ask for a bailout?

[mox 298]

Do you think the GT organization should hurry on up before the end of the Bush term to ask for a bailout?

No way. Obama is a Muslim and has been planning to invite bin Laden to the White House anyway, probably to surrender. So bin Laden just needs to wait out the next 3 weeks.

[Scott & Lai 12]

I know that Global Terrorism should support itself, but times are tough right now and we need to start thinking outside the cave.

[HAL 9000 96]

Do you think the GT organization should hurry on up before the end of the Bush term to ask for a bailout?

No way. Obama is a Muslim and has been planning to invite bin Laden to the White House anyway, probably to surrender. So bin Laden just needs to wait out the next 3 weeks.

But with all the benefit and profit Bush's friends defense contractors have won over the last 7 years... it would only be fair to improve their chanced at profit at least during the start of a Muslim Obama presidency... that is- before the Muslim nationalized them to serve the Almighty Communist United States of Allah Empire with an enriched Sultan Obama at its head and with one of its Middle Eastern Kaliphates under the control of Bin Laden. Bush knows this and is only waiting for Bin Laden to testify before Congress to ask for a bailout.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

Wow... so why doesn't he cut himself open with a box cutter like that French dude did?

The rich french dude got no sympathy from the libruls here..... I bet Bin Ladin will get some.

[HAL 9000 96]

Wow... so why doesn't he cut himself open with a box cutter like that French dude did?

The rich french dude got no sympathy from the libruls here..... I bet Bin Ladin will get some.

Bla bla, bla bla, bla bla.

[mox 298]

Bush knows this and is only waiting for Bin Laden to testify before Congress to ask for a bailout.

Yeah. Screw GM. We need to save The War on Terror (TWOT).

[HAL 9000 96]

Bush knows this and is only waiting for Bin Laden to testify before Congress to ask for a bailout.

Yeah. Screw GM. We need to save The War on Terror (TWOT).

I did forget to shorten the Almighty Communist United States of Allah Empire to ACUSAE. Thanks mox!