If you had known then what you know now??

[amal 4]

yes ma'am

[nunyab 0]

phew... ok so I had to get my tabs renewed for my car figured having a "legal" car would be good when he got here lol

[Nothing1234 2]

wait is nawal's name annie????

Nawal, Annie, hey you, whats her face, etc...I answer to many.

[Sandrila 1]

If I would have known then what I know now??

[nunyab 0]

hehehehe sorry Annie... i saw you wrote Kelly on one topic like a sign off soooooooo

Yeah I ment to get prepared for hubby if you knew then what you know now what would have you done differently to get hubby ready for coming over or what would you have done differently?

[Nothing1234 2]

If I would have known then what I know now??

[childress_london 3]

wth is embargo...I can't do big words on Mondays lmaooooooooooooooooooooo

Because the U.S. isn't very happy with Iran right now, it has placed restrictions on dealing with Iran (embargoes) in hopes that this will change its behavior. (Kind of like a time-out.) One of these restrictions is that certain items cannot be exported to Iran. It just so happens that the MJ is one of the things on the list. :-(

[Wantedtobelieve 4]

[/font]

Insha'allah my husband will be here next month... and i am always asking people what the new things thing learned about their husbands and what would you have done differently?

Also quirky things to be on the look out ie. not having his underwear and hers washed together (mine could care less as long as he had clean underclothes) but that has happened to someone i have known.

Jen has helped me bunches with what to to so would like to hear other things.

OUr MENA s/o will have to get used to alot of things what did you do to help?

~Rajaa

Ok, this is what I have learned since we have been married. I'm not gonna say what our situation is other than that he is from a MENA country. I will say he is very self-centered and usually looks out for himself. So my advice is totally from that (and only MY) perspective. I envy those of you who have a calm, even-keeled man who will take responsibility for his actions. So please don't think all MENA men are like this but there are more than a few around. He has been on his own for a good many years, so he is as set in his ways as I am in mine....lol

1. Get him Arabic Satellite TV. That has been his lifeline.

2. See if there is somebody he knows living in the USA that he can talk to for free. It is too dang expensive for them to talk to their buddies overseas for very long.

3. Don't leave him alone if you don't have to to get in trouble on the computer--(don't even ask!!!)

4. English classes are good, but his didnt' have enough people to keep them going after a few months.

5. Get him a cellphone, but be sure to tell him the limits. When you are paying, they sometimes don't really care about costs.

6. He will think he should be able to get a job for a lot more than minimum wage. Yeah, I know they said before they got here they will do any kind of work. BS

7. He went through major culture shock/depression, slept a lot, angry a lot for a good year until he had his job under his belt and his own car.

8. Get him studying for driving test for your state. If he has no experience, get permit, not license.

9. Expect him to want to start his own business and expect it to be wildly successful, either here or in home country, expecting only to invest a small amount of money.

10. Expect him to want to send money home to family, especially during Ramadan and other special days. He will also need to send money for family medical problems, etc.

11. If he smokes, good luck getting him to do it outside of the house.

12. Give him a good part of the closet.

13. If you own the house, expect him to want you to put his name on it too or he won't want to put any effort into taking care of it. He expected to give me $50 for expenses for the whole month. He doesn't see it as fair that I have worked all my life and worked my butt off for what I have.

14. Expect him to be totally shocked at the difficulty of applying for and interviewing for a job. He has been used to just showing up and asking around for a job.

15. He doesn't eat halal except on Ramadan. The Imam here told him that was ok.

16. Mine is lapsed Muslim, so expect him to drink when he wants, smoke, etc. And in his circle, drinking (but thankfully on weekends) can mean drink till all the beer is gone or you feel good and high.

17. Remember this quote from my hubby, "If you tell a man what to do who is from __________, he will do exactly the opposite." And boy, did he mean it!!!! Walk the fine line between being mom and wife.

18. Praise him a lot for what he does right. Remember that most of these young guys have arrested development compared to agemates in the US. (OMG we are in trouble~~~ lol)

19. Don't nag or you will be his mother.

20. You have to train him how to be romantic and meet your needs. In his country, he never saw his parents hug or kiss, so you have to let him know what you want. He still won't kiss me in front of my brother. I have to tell him to say romantic words, etc. He is trying to do better.

21. Expect him to see you as bossy American (......or fill in the blank). He is used to women staying home cooking and cleaning while the men go out drinking coffee at night. He is in a whole new world where he ain't king anymore....lol He does NOT expect you to yell or scream back at him, which further pisses him off....lol

22. Expect him to slop water all over the kitchen counter and fling flour everywhere as he cooks and hopefully cleans.

23. You will be lucky if you have public transportation. When mine started working at a grocery store, the little bus kept leaving him, or calling and leaving messages he couldn't understand. He decided they ( the store managers) told him too much what to do so he just up and quit without having another job. Another major fight then.

24. In my case, expect him to be the most stubborn man you ever met.

25. We did better when he got his own checking account. Many fights were over how much he should pay for expenses and poor thing, he couldnt' save most of his pay check. Welcome to the real world, baby.

27. Expect him to say he gave up his whole WONDERFUL life to come here and you should.....fill in the blank.

28. Expect you to be the one accommodating him, at least in the beginning and maybe he will begin to do the same in time.

29. Expect major culture shock. Every one of his friends (except for one) said they wanted to go back home during the first year. Give him time. It is not as great here as he expected. All he heard himself say was that he only wants to be here with you. Well, he's here and boy does it suck sometimes because it is all sooo different and he is not king of the world anymore.

29. I know this sounds horrible, but believe me, it has been a journey. Things are much better now, he is truly trying to change and not be so rigid, keep his temper in check, and be more reasonable. In turn, I am trying to be more understanding, less bossy, and let things go that are not major issues. I find that if I plant an idea, then let him think about it, he will often come around. Crazy game, but he is young, I realize that. I know he truly loves me and I love him, so we keep chugging along. HOpe I don't sound really negative, I love him like cray. BUT I am also realistic. It will be interesting to see if some of you other ladies have had similar experiences.

More to come......love to all!!!

[Wantedtobelieve 4]

Insha'allah my husband will be here next month... and i am always asking people what the new things thing learned about their husbands and what would you have done differently?

Also quirky things to be on the look out ie. not having his underwear and hers washed together (mine could care less as long as he had clean underclothes) but that has happened to someone i have known.

Jen has helped me bunches with what to to so would like to hear other things.

OUr MENA s/o will have to get used to alot of things what did you do to help?

~Rajaa

[sereia 0]

Wow the way you describe it I wonder why ANYONE would marry a MENA guy and bring him here! LOL

[sandinista! 1,816]

Ok, this is what I have learned since we have been married. I'm not gonna say what our situation is other than that he is from a MENA country. I will say he is very self-centered and usually looks out for himself. So my advice is totally from that (and only MY) perspective. I envy those of you who have a calm, even-keeled man who will take responsibility for his actions. So please don't think all MENA men are like this but there are more than a few around. He has been on his own for a good many years, so he is as set in his ways as I am in mine....lol

1. Get him Arabic Satellite TV. That has been his lifeline.

2. See if there is somebody he knows living in the USA that he can talk to for free. It is too dang expensive for them to talk to their buddies overseas for very long.

3. Don't leave him alone if you don't have to to get in trouble on the computer--(don't even ask!!!)

4. English classes are good, but his didnt' have enough people to keep them going after a few months.

5. Get him a cellphone, but be sure to tell him the limits. When you are paying, they sometimes don't really care about costs.

6. He will think he should be able to get a job for a lot more than minimum wage. Yeah, I know they said before they got here they will do any kind of work. BS

7. He went through major culture shock/depression, slept a lot, angry a lot for a good year until he had his job under his belt and his own car.

8. Get him studying for driving test for your state. If he has no experience, get permit, not license.

9. Expect him to want to start his own business and expect it to be wildly successful, either here or in home country, expecting only to invest a small amount of money.

10. Expect him to want to send money home to family, especially during Ramadan and other special days. He will also need to send money for family medical problems, etc.

11. If he smokes, good luck getting him to do it outside of the house.

12. Give him a good part of the closet.

13. If you own the house, expect him to want you to put his name on it too or he won't want to put any effort into taking care of it. He expected to give me $50 for expenses for the whole month. He doesn't see it as fair that I have worked all my life and worked my butt off for what I have.

14. Expect him to be totally shocked at the difficulty of applying for and interviewing for a job. He has been used to just showing up and asking around for a job.

15. He doesn't eat halal except on Ramadan. The Imam here told him that was ok.

16. Mine is lapsed Muslim, so expect him to drink when he wants, smoke, etc. And in his circle, drinking (but thankfully on weekends) can mean drink till all the beer is gone or you feel good and high.

17. Remember this quote from my hubby, "If you tell a man what to do who is from __________, he will do exactly the opposite." And boy, did he mean it!!!! Walk the fine line between being mom and wife.

18. Praise him a lot for what he does right. Remember that most of these young guys have arrested development compared to agemates in the US. (OMG we are in trouble~~~ lol)

19. Don't nag or you will be his mother.

20. You have to train him how to be romantic and meet your needs. In his country, he never saw his parents hug or kiss, so you have to let him know what you want. He still won't kiss me in front of my brother. I have to tell him to say romantic words, etc. He is trying to do better.

21. Expect him to see you as bossy American (......or fill in the blank). He is used to women staying home cooking and cleaning while the men go out drinking coffee at night. He is in a whole new world where he ain't king anymore....lol He does NOT expect you to yell or scream back at him, which further pisses him off....lol

22. Expect him to slop water all over the kitchen counter and fling flour everywhere as he cooks and hopefully cleans.

23. You will be lucky if you have public transportation. When mine started working at a grocery store, the little bus kept leaving him, or calling and leaving messages he couldn't understand. He decided they ( the store managers) told him too much what to do so he just up and quit without having another job. Another major fight then.

24. In my case, expect him to be the most stubborn man you ever met.

25. We did better when he got his own checking account. Many fights were over how much he should pay for expenses and poor thing, he couldnt' save most of his pay check. Welcome to the real world, baby.

27. Expect him to say he gave up his whole WONDERFUL life to come here and you should.....fill in the blank.

28. Expect you to be the one accommodating him, at least in the beginning and maybe he will begin to do the same in time.

29. Expect major culture shock. Every one of his friends (except for one) said they wanted to go back home during the first year. Give him time. It is not as great here as he expected. All he heard himself say was that he only wants to be here with you. Well, he's here and boy does it suck sometimes because it is all sooo different and he is not king of the world anymore.

29. I know this sounds horrible, but believe me, it has been a journey. Things are much better now, he is truly trying to change and not be so rigid, keep his temper in check, and be more reasonable. In turn, I am trying to be more understanding, less bossy, and let things go that are not major issues. I find that if I plant an idea, then let him think about it, he will often come around. Crazy game, but he is young, I realize that. I know he truly loves me and I love him, so we keep chugging along. HOpe I don't sound really negative, I love him like cray. BUT I am also realistic. It will be interesting to see if some of you other ladies have had similar experiences.

More to come......love to all!!!

you put up with all that #######, and you think you need to be more understanding, and let things go that are not major issues? that's pretty much amazing. i can't relate to a single thing you've written here, as this is preposterous.

[bhajishah 4]

Meet with the local Imam an get him hooked uop with getting to mosque and feeling the brother hood and solace, esp being whisked right into the craziness of gori world

[star_dragon 0]

[Nothing1234 2]

Wow the way you describe it I wonder why ANYONE would marry a MENA guy and bring him here! LOL

I agree. I just had to pick my chin up off the ground. Gulp...

[Muh and me 18]