If you had known then what you know now??

[Berber Mama 5]

Write down your phone number and address to put in his wallet. I "lost" my husband on his first outing. Some guy came bringing him home after he had drove him all around town looking for familiar landmarks.

wow....I am afraid...hopefully mine won't get lost...how sad...but funny

I know, we can look back on it now and laugh. However at the time he was pretty traumatized. I told him I was gonna take him to the vet to get a chip in his ear so next time someone could just scan him...lol.

[nunyab 0]

Write down your phone number and address to put in his wallet. I "lost" my husband on his first outing. Some guy came bringing him home after he had drove him all around town looking for familiar landmarks.

wow....I am afraid...hopefully mine won't get lost...how sad...but funny

I know, we can look back on it now and laugh. However at the time he was pretty traumatized. I told him I was gonna take him to the vet to get a chip in his ear so next time someone could just scan him...lol.

i told my husband about this yesterday and he said "baby we like to walk" well that "chip" idea is sounding reaaaaaaly good

[amal 4]

yeah..mine said "we like to walk" also until he found out that it takes an hour to walk anywhere here! lol

1 thing to remember is that although he did AOS already, that doesn't mean he'll get a job right away. Mine had to wait 4 months before he got hired anywhere and we were CR-1 also. He just about went nuts at the house with no place to go. You do live in a more heavily populated arabic area than I did but that doesn't mean he'll find a job quickly. One of my girlfriends husbands got here on CR-1 (she's in Seattle) and it took him 6 months to get hired anywhere.

I'm not trying to discourage you or anything. I just think it's good to be prepared

[MrsAmera 41]

I second that. My husband also says that he works harder here than he ever had and doesn't make nearly the amount of money he believes he should be making. It's definetely a step down for many.... When he came he said he didn't care where he worked, he would work anywhere - his tune changed quickly.

[amal 4]

I second that. My husband also says that he works harder here than he ever had and doesn't make nearly the amount of money he believes he should be making. It's definetely a step down for many.... When he came he said he didn't care where he worked, he would work anywhere - his tune changed quickly.

Yeah, I did my best to warn mine of the ways here and how hard it was gonna be. He kept telling me that he expected it to be difficult but he didn't care as long as he was with me....he could do anything or live anywhere. Even if that meant taking residence in a cardboard box.... TTTTThen he got here and my house wasn't quite good enough, his job didn't pay enough and it was not a job that a "man with 2 degrees" should be doing so he was "going down" in life rather than bettering himself. Oh that was a major struggle for him to accept such a "poor man's job" and do "dirty work". Suddenly nothing was good enough for him. Of course the jobs that sold alcohol were not ok even though he said he'd do what it took... It was definitely different than I expected out of him.

Now, my story is not everybodies story. There are some in here whose hubbies come and take them away on the white stallion and they gallop together into the sunset and live happily ever after. I envy those couples. Every situation is different so urs may be the white stallion ending. I sure hope it is coz the ones that are like mine are definitely not a bed of roses lol. I still wouldn't trade him for the world but we did have our fair amount of issues...

[MrsAmera 41]

Hear hear Amal. He sure was no prince on a white stallion, we struggled for a very very long time. I'm just now reading a book called "The Beautiful Things that Heaven Bears" by Dinaw Mengestu. It's about an Ethiopian immigrant to the DC area. A lot of what he says is sooo true to my husbands story of life in America...

[Staashi 371]

Amal - yes, there was no white stallion here. Waiting for a job can be the hardest thing ever.

Rajaa, one thing that I suggest that your husband do as soon as he gets to the US is get into an ESL class - it is a wonderful way for them to meet new people, learn or improve their English-speaking skills, plus and this is the most important - it gives them something to do while they are waiting to work. My hubby spent every weekday and 3 evenings a week in class. He said he felt like his mind would explode, but at the end of the day, he is so grateful he went. Furthermore, he met some great people. One thing you can do to encourage his understanding of English, is to have your TV's closed captions turned on. That way, they can follow along with what is happening. My hubby lived by captions.

I was also proud of him when he was preparing for citizenship - he attended classes two nights a week. He was so prepared for his test and the experience. But I sincerely believe that it was all the time in the ESL class that made him comfortable attending the citizenship course.

[MrsAmera 41]

YES ESL even if he thinks it's perfect take the classes!! The reading and writing part is really the part my husband struggles with and he will need that more than anything to get a good job here.

[Staashi 371]

YES ESL even if he thinks it's perfect take the classes!! The reading and writing part is really the part my husband struggles with and he will need that more than anything to get a good job here.

Amen! That was my hubby's best skill...but he was able to improve his pronounciation tremendously in the classes. Now he's getting ready to start conversation classes. I'm so glad he's still trying to learn and improve. Also, know this, one of the biggest components of gaining citizenship is fluency in English. He should be preparing for that from the moment he steps off the plane.

Edited December 29, 2008 by Staashi

[nunyab 0]

Great advice ladies.... heck even if he hung out with the kids i would be happy while i was at work but I have warned him. I expect no horse ridding moroccan prince that's for sure lol.... trust me I am fearing the worst and hopeing for the best. Hence this thread hehehehe

keep them coming!!

ESL check!

[childress_london 3]

I second the Magic Jack comment. We are visiting Morocco now and we set up the mj, so now they will be able to talk when we go back to the US, and of course while we are here we can communicate with our friends and family in the US.

Mine misses being able to walk around at night with friends, all the social stuff he is used to. Look into if there are any groups of Moroccans in your area, or any associations or meetups related to his interests. Of course he's not a child, so your not setting up playdates or anything... Think of things he can do to occupy his time before he creates his own social network, has a job, etc.

Actually, I'm hoping I will hear something that will help me help my SO...he gets a bit bored, I'm afraid I am usually content to occupy myself at home and my activities are mostly solitary. One of the early things he should do besides work on AOS is get his drivers license so he feels independant and does not have to depend on you to get around all the time.

BT

What is Magic Jack? I haven't heard of this.

[childress_london 3]

food was and is still a major issue in our household. If yours has issues with food at all...let him know that you are ready to help make whatever kind of food he would like and you could even take him to the grocery store so he can help pick out the ingredients.

I had mine have his mom and sisters write down alllllllllll the recipes they could think of that he liked. I made sure to tell him to get the recipes for his most favorite dishes so we could prepare them like his mama did. That recipe book came in really handy many times since nobody cooks like mama! lol.... Also, since the recipes were in arabic, it gave us something we would do together. he would translate and I'd prepare. sometimes he'd have to show me coz he didn't know the english word for stuff. it was very interesting but created very fond moments.

OHHH and another thing...I wish i would have waited a week or so before introducing him to my family. I should have let him become a little bit more comfortable in our home and then slowly invited my family a couple at a time to the house to meet him in his own territory. It would have helped him feel more relaxed. He also wouldn't have told my mother that her house needed to be organized....

OK, well I thought it was just my hubby's personality, but maybe this is some kind of cultural thing? Do you find your husband saying things that over here we would never say to people in a million years because it would just be too rude? LOL

[morocco4ever 63]

OK, well I thought it was just my hubby's personality, but maybe this is some kind of cultural thing? Do you find your husband saying things that over here we would never say to people in a million years because it would just be too rude? LOL

Like how much money do you make, or how much you paid for something? Yeah, we had the discussion about that. It seems in my husbands country these questions are no big deal, so I had to explain that you can't do that here. I work in payroll, and I am privy to much information that is confidential. I could lose my job by giving this information out. Not just that, but I remember one of the workers (not in payroll) at another job of mine started discussions with the other workers on what they were paid. She almost got fired for that. My husband now understands.

[nunyab 0]

heck my employees do that all the time.......

[amal 4]

food was and is still a major issue in our household. If yours has issues with food at all...let him know that you are ready to help make whatever kind of food he would like and you could even take him to the grocery store so he can help pick out the ingredients.

I had mine have his mom and sisters write down alllllllllll the recipes they could think of that he liked. I made sure to tell him to get the recipes for his most favorite dishes so we could prepare them like his mama did. That recipe book came in really handy many times since nobody cooks like mama! lol.... Also, since the recipes were in arabic, it gave us something we would do together. he would translate and I'd prepare. sometimes he'd have to show me coz he didn't know the english word for stuff. it was very interesting but created very fond moments.

OHHH and another thing...I wish i would have waited a week or so before introducing him to my family. I should have let him become a little bit more comfortable in our home and then slowly invited my family a couple at a time to the house to meet him in his own territory. It would have helped him feel more relaxed. He also wouldn't have told my mother that her house needed to be organized....

OK, well I thought it was just my hubby's personality, but maybe this is some kind of cultural thing? Do you find your husband saying things that over here we would never say to people in a million years because it would just be too rude? LOL

lol so it's not just mine? lol yeah he says things sometimes that make people take a step back. If he were american, he'd have to use his martial arts belt experience to defend himself lol