If you had known then what you know now??

[Aymsgirl 0]

Angel Big hugs girl. Everything happens for a reason so whatever the situation, if it doesn't kill us; it will only make us stronger and wiser in the future. Always remember there is sunshine after all the clouds! I truly don't mean those statements to be cliche...I believe all of it with all my heart and try to remember it in my own life and situations.

That reminded me of the one song that makes me feel good when I'm down. This version is my favorite, though it's not available on youtube but if you click on the link and press on the "play" button. Sometimes if I'm wicked down and the kids are away I'll turn off all the lights, light some candles, crank this up and chill the fk out.

http://www.rhapsody.com/govt-mule/the-deep...ine/lyrics.html

Me likey like doods!!

I will say for me I have to say I'd do it again because through all of this muck that we have gone through I have the sweetest little monkey man out of it who has brought so much joy to my life and for his father......I'll admit he stole my heart and even though he is a butthead at times, I still love him more than I thought I could love a man in my life

Also...I get ill symptoms when it comes to shoveling snow. Sick to the stomach, diarrhea, headache....you know the normal stuff that you can't shovel snow with

[*Maureen* 0]

Angel Big hugs girl. Everything happens for a reason so whatever the situation, if it doesn't kill us; it will only make us stronger and wiser in the future. Always remember there is sunshine after all the clouds! I truly don't mean those statements to be cliche...I believe all of it with all my heart and try to remember it in my own life and situations.

That reminded me of the one song that makes me feel good when I'm down. This version is my favorite, though it's not available on youtube but if you click on the link and press on the "play" button. Sometimes if I'm wicked down and the kids are away I'll turn off all the lights, light some candles, crank this up and chill the fk out.

http://www.rhapsody.com/govt-mule/the-deep...ine/lyrics.html

Me likey like doods!!

I will say for me I have to say I'd do it again because through all of this muck that we have gone through I have the sweetest little monkey man out of it who has brought so much joy to my life and for his father......I'll admit he stole my heart and even though he is a butthead at times, I still love him more than I thought I could love a man in my life

Also...I get ill symptoms when it comes to shoveling snow. Sick to the stomach, diarrhea, headache....you know the normal stuff that you can't shovel snow with

Why did you have to say the S word??? that's not allowed until December...lol

[Aymsgirl 0]

Angel Big hugs girl. Everything happens for a reason so whatever the situation, if it doesn't kill us; it will only make us stronger and wiser in the future. Always remember there is sunshine after all the clouds! I truly don't mean those statements to be cliche...I believe all of it with all my heart and try to remember it in my own life and situations.

That reminded me of the one song that makes me feel good when I'm down. This version is my favorite, though it's not available on youtube but if you click on the link and press on the "play" button. Sometimes if I'm wicked down and the kids are away I'll turn off all the lights, light some candles, crank this up and chill the fk out.

http://www.rhapsody.com/govt-mule/the-deep...ine/lyrics.html

Me likey like doods!!

I will say for me I have to say I'd do it again because through all of this muck that we have gone through I have the sweetest little monkey man out of it who has brought so much joy to my life and for his father......I'll admit he stole my heart and even though he is a butthead at times, I still love him more than I thought I could love a man in my life

Also...I get ill symptoms when it comes to shoveling snow. Sick to the stomach, diarrhea, headache....you know the normal stuff that you can't shovel snow with

Why did you have to say the S word??? that's not allowed until December...lol

I'm just repeatin' the other gals!

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

If i knew then what i know now I would not have married my now husband

I would not have either. I did not thoroughly think through the immense responsibility of bringing someone here. I did not think through what life would be like if they did not work and contribute and I did not know enough about his homelife and family dynamics ( alot of abuse both verbal and physical were very commonplace in his family) and the fact that the men in his family tantrum and terrorise and the women cow tow to it, even condone it. Absolutely without any shadow of a doubt that it was the worst mistake of my entire life and it nearly destroyed me. I do not recommend marrying someone from there that you meet on the internet and bringing them here unless you have an extremely stable source of income that can support both of you and frankly , this will offend, I dont recommend anyone with children in the home marrying someone from mena and bringing them here. If the kids are grown, as you like, but very few of the marriages I have seen have ended up long term (and I am looking back over the last 9 years of knowing cross cultural marriages) and I dont think anyone with kids should put them in a marriage that most likely wont last. If you dont have kids, its no big deal because you can have your own or just have none. But dragging little kids through someones boat adventures or quest for citizenship and then their leaving traumatises the kids in my opinion is a bad move. It may not be other peoples opinions but I think these marriages are alot harder than we ever could have imagined. I am not saying there are not intense moments of joy and happiness but they are not easy undertakings and not cheap either and whether you like it or not, you end up spending alot of money either way because it takes longer and phone and bla bla are more expensive than lets say , Europe and then if you get left, you are 10000 in debt for someone else to use you as a stepping stone.. No I would not do it again nor would or could I recommend anyone bringing someone that they met on the internet over here unless they were financially pretty ok and had no kids involved..

[Chica Yeyé 41]

If i knew then what i know now I would not have married my now husband

I would not have either. I did not thoroughly think through the immense responsibility of bringing someone here. I did not think through what life would be like if they did not work and contribute and I did not know enough about his homelife and family dynamics ( alot of abuse both verbal and physical were very commonplace in his family) and the fact that the men in his family tantrum and terrorise and the women cow tow to it, even condone it. Absolutely without any shadow of a doubt that it was the worst mistake of my entire life and it nearly destroyed me. I do not recommend marrying someone from there that you meet on the internet and bringing them here unless you have an extremely stable source of income that can support both of you and frankly , this will offend, I dont recommend anyone with children in the home marrying someone from mena and bringing them here. If the kids are grown, as you like, but very few of the marriages I have seen have ended up long term (and I am looking back over the last 9 years of knowing cross cultural marriages) and I dont think anyone with kids should put them in a marriage that most likely wont last. If you dont have kids, its no big deal because you can have your own or just have none. But dragging little kids through someones boat adventures or quest for citizenship and then their leaving traumatises the kids in my opinion is a bad move. It may not be other peoples opinions but I think these marriages are alot harder than we ever could have imagined. I am not saying there are not intense moments of joy and happiness but they are not easy undertakings and not cheap either and whether you like it or not, you end up spending alot of money either way because it takes longer and phone and bla bla are more expensive than lets say , Europe and then if you get left, you are 10000 in debt for someone else to use you as a stepping stone.. No I would not do it again nor would or could I recommend anyone bringing someone that they met on the internet over here unless they were financially pretty ok and had no kids involved..

wow.... I heard somewhere that generalizations are wrong... I concur - not only wrong, but truly irrational. I know what you went through and it svcked; but please, don't tell me it is the common denominator, #######. Yes, your post offensive for those sisters here who have husbands who ADORE them (quick thought: moroccor4ever, Nawal, Julianna).

Azzholes are azzholes, wherever they are from. Sour grapes is a b1tch.

[doodlebugg 10]

hanging in there I understand you went through hell, but I just have to interject. This marriage is about 200% easier than my first marriage. Heck I barely have to work at it and what little effort I do put into it comes back to me tenfold. As for the children I don't think they should go through man after man or marriage after marriage but in my case things worked out very well. Will it last? Only God knows but even if some unforseen event makes it end I won't regret a second of it.

That being said would I do it again with someone else? Nope.

[ya falaha! 0]

You forgot about me b1tch! My husband worships the quicksand I walk on.

If i knew then what i know now I would not have married my now husband

I would not have either. I did not thoroughly think through the immense responsibility of bringing someone here. I did not think through what life would be like if they did not work and contribute and I did not know enough about his homelife and family dynamics ( alot of abuse both verbal and physical were very commonplace in his family) and the fact that the men in his family tantrum and terrorise and the women cow tow to it, even condone it. Absolutely without any shadow of a doubt that it was the worst mistake of my entire life and it nearly destroyed me. I do not recommend marrying someone from there that you meet on the internet and bringing them here unless you have an extremely stable source of income that can support both of you and frankly , this will offend, I dont recommend anyone with children in the home marrying someone from mena and bringing them here. If the kids are grown, as you like, but very few of the marriages I have seen have ended up long term (and I am looking back over the last 9 years of knowing cross cultural marriages) and I dont think anyone with kids should put them in a marriage that most likely wont last. If you dont have kids, its no big deal because you can have your own or just have none. But dragging little kids through someones boat adventures or quest for citizenship and then their leaving traumatises the kids in my opinion is a bad move. It may not be other peoples opinions but I think these marriages are alot harder than we ever could have imagined. I am not saying there are not intense moments of joy and happiness but they are not easy undertakings and not cheap either and whether you like it or not, you end up spending alot of money either way because it takes longer and phone and bla bla are more expensive than lets say , Europe and then if you get left, you are 10000 in debt for someone else to use you as a stepping stone.. No I would not do it again nor would or could I recommend anyone bringing someone that they met on the internet over here unless they were financially pretty ok and had no kids involved..

wow.... I heard somewhere that generalizations are wrong... I concur - not only wrong, but truly irrational. I know what you went through and it svcked; but please, don't tell me it is the common denominator, #######. Yes, your post offensive for those sisters here who have husbands who ADORE them (quick thought: moroccor4ever, Nawal, Julianna).

Azzholes are azzholes, wherever they are from. Sour grapes is a b1tch.

[sara535 15]

yeah I was thinking that too!

I'm almost 5 years into it and working on citizenship and my husband thinks I rock. sometimes.

other times I am pretty sure he wishes I would just simma down

You forgot about me b1tch! My husband worships the quicksand I walk on.

If i knew then what i know now I would not have married my now husband

I would not have either. I did not thoroughly think through the immense responsibility of bringing someone here. I did not think through what life would be like if they did not work and contribute and I did not know enough about his homelife and family dynamics ( alot of abuse both verbal and physical were very commonplace in his family) and the fact that the men in his family tantrum and terrorise and the women cow tow to it, even condone it. Absolutely without any shadow of a doubt that it was the worst mistake of my entire life and it nearly destroyed me. I do not recommend marrying someone from there that you meet on the internet and bringing them here unless you have an extremely stable source of income that can support both of you and frankly , this will offend, I dont recommend anyone with children in the home marrying someone from mena and bringing them here. If the kids are grown, as you like, but very few of the marriages I have seen have ended up long term (and I am looking back over the last 9 years of knowing cross cultural marriages) and I dont think anyone with kids should put them in a marriage that most likely wont last. If you dont have kids, its no big deal because you can have your own or just have none. But dragging little kids through someones boat adventures or quest for citizenship and then their leaving traumatises the kids in my opinion is a bad move. It may not be other peoples opinions but I think these marriages are alot harder than we ever could have imagined. I am not saying there are not intense moments of joy and happiness but they are not easy undertakings and not cheap either and whether you like it or not, you end up spending alot of money either way because it takes longer and phone and bla bla are more expensive than lets say , Europe and then if you get left, you are 10000 in debt for someone else to use you as a stepping stone.. No I would not do it again nor would or could I recommend anyone bringing someone that they met on the internet over here unless they were financially pretty ok and had no kids involved..

wow.... I heard somewhere that generalizations are wrong... I concur - not only wrong, but truly irrational. I know what you went through and it svcked; but please, don't tell me it is the common denominator, #######. Yes, your post offensive for those sisters here who have husbands who ADORE them (quick thought: moroccor4ever, Nawal, Julianna).

Azzholes are azzholes, wherever they are from. Sour grapes is a b1tch.

Having said that - Kat, your husband was an azzhat from day 1 and your whole experience was rotten. I think everyone agrees with that. but you have been a generalizer from the day you joined this site, regardless of what view you were generalizing, and you have been called on it again and again.

I hope things are getting better in your life these days.

Edited September 18, 2009 by sara535

[Chica Yeyé 41]

You forgot about me b1tch! My husband worships the quicksand I walk on.

that's what he tells you --- we all KNOW his true intentions mwahahahaha

[ya falaha! 0]

Right, forgot about that 5 year plan.

You forgot about me b1tch! My husband worships the quicksand I walk on.

that's what he tells you --- we all KNOW his true intentions mwahahahaha

Kat, honestly I really believe it's the dudes you pick not the country they come from. Some dudes are real fun and exciting to f@ck around with but they're not the marrying kind. Seems you've hooked up with lots of those.

Edited September 19, 2009 by Astarte

[nurse1967 287]

If i knew then what i know now I would not have married my now husband

I would not have either. I did not thoroughly think through the immense responsibility of bringing someone here. I did not think through what life would be like if they did not work and contribute and I did not know enough about his homelife and family dynamics ( alot of abuse both verbal and physical were very commonplace in his family) and the fact that the men in his family tantrum and terrorise and the women cow tow to it, even condone it. Absolutely without any shadow of a doubt that it was the worst mistake of my entire life and it nearly destroyed me. I do not recommend marrying someone from there that you meet on the internet and bringing them here unless you have an extremely stable source of income that can support both of you and frankly , this will offend, I dont recommend anyone with children in the home marrying someone from mena and bringing them here. If the kids are grown, as you like, but very few of the marriages I have seen have ended up long term (and I am looking back over the last 9 years of knowing cross cultural marriages) and I dont think anyone with kids should put them in a marriage that most likely wont last. If you dont have kids, its no big deal because you can have your own or just have none. But dragging little kids through someones boat adventures or quest for citizenship and then their leaving traumatises the kids in my opinion is a bad move. It may not be other peoples opinions but I think these marriages are alot harder than we ever could have imagined. I am not saying there are not intense moments of joy and happiness but they are not easy undertakings and not cheap either and whether you like it or not, you end up spending alot of money either way because it takes longer and phone and bla bla are more expensive than lets say , Europe and then if you get left, you are 10000 in debt for someone else to use you as a stepping stone.. No I would not do it again nor would or could I recommend anyone bringing someone that they met on the internet over here unless they were financially pretty ok and had no kids involved..

If you feel that way then no one should EVER get married since statistically most marriages fail.

[Jenn! 918]

I think Kat's posts are as much to convince herself that going back for a second (third?) helping would be a really bad idea as they are a warning to anyone else. If that's the case, then I say keep 'em coming because none of us want to see that happen again.

[doodlebugg 10]

Some dudes are real fun and exciting to f@ck around with but they're not the marrying kind.

ot - I'm making a notebook to give my kids when they graduate high school. Just a notebook full of random thoughts on various topics of life like marriage, dating, worklife, etc. I think I'll put a pg version of this in it if ya don't mind

[ya falaha! 0]

Sure thing! Haha!

Some dudes are real fun and exciting to f@ck around with but they're not the marrying kind.

ot - I'm making a notebook to give my kids when they graduate high school. Just a notebook full of random thoughts on various topics of life like marriage, dating, worklife, etc. I think I'll put a pg version of this in it if ya don't mind

[Staashi 371]

Some dudes are real fun and exciting to f@ck around with but they're not the marrying kind.

ot - I'm making a notebook to give my kids when they graduate high school. Just a notebook full of random thoughts on various topics of life like marriage, dating, worklife, etc. I think I'll put a pg version of this in it if ya don't mind

This reminded me of one of my very favorite quotes from a movie - That Old Feeling - Bette Midler's character says to her daughter: "You know what the twenties are for? Having sex with all the wrong people. Not to get married."