If you had known then what you know now??

[MrsAmera 41]

VW - I also think that your husband is a little older than our husbands (which I think helps). I totally think if my husband would have had to be more self sufficient before he came here things would have been much easier. The fact that his mom and sisters did 100% of things for him certainly did not make him prepared for life here.

[caybee 21]

I almost hate to post this, but my husband's been here since May 2008, he hasn't had any serious problems adjusting, nor been really homesick. He's done almost everything on his own - from getting his Social Security Card and state ID to finding a job and punctually navigating on public transportation, improving his English - with minimal assistance. He thinks we work too hard and take friendships too much for granted, wishes he had Moroccan buds to hang out at the coffee shop with, even puts up with my evil and cruel older sister with dignity and grace; he just moves from day to day with few complaints.

He's got housework, laundry, and grocery shopping down pat, doesn't drive and doesn't care much about that, has his own bank accounts and manages money well. My friends and family all love him, and he loves them. Other than being cranky without enough sleep and a cup of coffee in the morning, his sweet, thoughtful, easy-going, laid-back, accomodating, go with the flow attitude has made him a breeze to live with. But, we don't have the language, cultural and religious gulfs to close, and that probably has a lot to do with our happiness and lack of drama. We're a great match! I'm truly blessed.

Sorry

So happy for you two! Enjoy!

[UmmSqueakster 54]

If you had known then what you know now:

*Establish the ground rules of a discussion/argument and stick to them.

*If you get caught up in an argument, know when to say stop, so you can collect yourself and approach it in a calmer manner.

Even 3 and a half years on, our biggest issues arise out of communication. I don't think it's cultural - instead, we're 2 hard headed, stubborn, strong willed individuals who are used to being (thinking they are) the smartest person in the room and always right.

[Sandrila 1]

I almost hate to post this, but my husband's been here since May 2008, he hasn't had any serious problems adjusting, nor been really homesick. He's done almost everything on his own - from getting his Social Security Card and state ID to finding a job and punctually navigating on public transportation, improving his English - with minimal assistance. He thinks we work too hard and take friendships too much for granted, wishes he had Moroccan buds to hang out at the coffee shop with, even puts up with my evil and cruel older sister with dignity and grace; he just moves from day to day with few complaints.

He's got housework, laundry, and grocery shopping down pat, doesn't drive and doesn't care much about that, has his own bank accounts and manages money well. My friends and family all love him, and he loves them. Other than being cranky without enough sleep and a cup of coffee in the morning, his sweet, thoughtful, easy-going, laid-back, accomodating, go with the flow attitude has made him a breeze to live with. But, we don't have the language, cultural and religious gulfs to close, and that probably has a lot to do with our happiness and lack of drama. We're a great match! I'm truly blessed.

Sorry

So happy for you two! Enjoy!

you are blessed, my god!

[Sandrila 1]

If you had known then what you know now:

*Establish the ground rules of a discussion/argument and stick to them.

*If you get caught up in an argument, know when to say stop, so you can collect yourself and approach it in a calmer manner.

Even 3 and a half years on, our biggest issues arise out of communication. I don't think it's cultural - instead, we're 2 hard headed, stubborn, strong willed individuals who are used to being (thinking they are) the smartest person in the room and always right.

you always give the proper advice. I think those are great rules, just as in with small children, you need to establish the boudaries early on.

It is too easy with all the stress and difficulties we face to try to keep the disagreements respectful and fair.

Relationships are not easy, the hard part is sticking with it, the easy thing to do is walk away.

[Wantedtobelieve 4]

VW - I also think that your husband is a little older than our husbands (which I think helps). I totally think if my husband would have had to be more self sufficient before he came here things would have been much easier. The fact that his mom and sisters did 100% of things for him certainly did not make him prepared for life here.

Amen!!

[sereia 0]

*note to self: Don't do 100% of everything for my sons or they might make awful husbands!

[Y's_habibitk 2]

*note to self: Don't do 100% of everything for my sons or they might make awful husbands!

[Meriem_DZ 37]

I almost hate to post this, but my husband's been here since May 2008, he hasn't had any serious problems adjusting, nor been really homesick. He's done almost everything on his own - from getting his Social Security Card and state ID to finding a job and punctually navigating on public transportation, improving his English - with minimal assistance. He thinks we work too hard and take friendships too much for granted, wishes he had Moroccan buds to hang out at the coffee shop with, even puts up with my evil and cruel older sister with dignity and grace; he just moves from day to day with few complaints.

He's got housework, laundry, and grocery shopping down pat, doesn't drive and doesn't care much about that, has his own bank accounts and manages money well. My friends and family all love him, and he loves them. Other than being cranky without enough sleep and a cup of coffee in the morning, his sweet, thoughtful, easy-going, laid-back, accomodating, go with the flow attitude has made him a breeze to live with. But, we don't have the language, cultural and religious gulfs to close, and that probably has a lot to do with our happiness and lack of drama. We're a great match! I'm truly blessed.

Sorry

VW, I feel the same way you do. Your husband and mine seem to have a lot of the same qualities. Hachemi was very pro active with improving his English before he came. His English was much improved when he got here, and I think that helped a lot, except for understanding our southern slang. He comes home often asking what slang that he heard means. Then starts using the words sometimes for fun. He continued to study the English language even after he got here, on his own. He bought books, downloaded English programs. He made an effort to talk with people. He is not shy at all. He says talking to people helps him learn even if he makes mistakes. He was never homesick, although he misses his mother. We have only sent money to his family once, because we wanted them to get Internet. His family is ok financially and he has brothers that are doctors and help out the family a lot. One of the brothers bought a computer for the family. So last weekend Hachemi was online with the family for the first time for 2 hours. Our biggest arguments was when I was trying to teach him to drive. He scared me so bad sometimes I thought I was going to die, lol. Now he is an great driver and has his own truck. Sometimes he is a little quick tempered, but gets over it very fast and is the first one to hug and kiss and say"I'm sorry". He is super affectionate and I am told many times a day that I am loved. He is very mature for his age (35). He was hired the first interview he had for a full time position. He stopped working to go to school full time. He has a 4.0 GPA after 3 semesters. He got his 2nd job, all on his own. It is just a part time job, but works well around his classes. He is a hard worker and very trustworthy. He has never missed a day of work and when he gets his little paycheck he gives me 3/4ths of it to pay bills for the house. I tell him to keep it and he says no, to put it in the bank. I am terrible with money and he the one that saves. I am getting better with his help.

I too feel very blessed and I would definitely do it again. To think I almost did not answer his first email from the language exchange site. What a wonderful man I would have let slip through my fingers. It scares me to even think about it. lol

Meriem

[sereia 0]

You two are very, very blessed!!!

[Imua 0]

I almost hate to post this, but my husband's been here since May 2008, he hasn't had any serious problems adjusting, nor been really homesick. He's done almost everything on his own - from getting his Social Security Card and state ID to finding a job and punctually navigating on public transportation, improving his English - with minimal assistance. He thinks we work too hard and take friendships too much for granted, wishes he had Moroccan buds to hang out at the coffee shop with, even puts up with my evil and cruel older sister with dignity and grace; he just moves from day to day with few complaints.

He's got housework, laundry, and grocery shopping down pat, doesn't drive and doesn't care much about that, has his own bank accounts and manages money well. My friends and family all love him, and he loves them. Other than being cranky without enough sleep and a cup of coffee in the morning, his sweet, thoughtful, easy-going, laid-back, accomodating, go with the flow attitude has made him a breeze to live with. But, we don't have the language, cultural and religious gulfs to close, and that probably has a lot to do with our happiness and lack of drama. We're a great match! I'm truly blessed.

Sorry

VW, I feel the same way you do. Your husband and mine seem to have a lot of the same qualities. Hachemi was very pro active with improving his English before he came. His English was much improved when he got here, and I think that helped a lot, except for understanding our southern slang. He comes home often asking what slang that he heard means. Then starts using the words sometimes for fun. He continued to study the English language even after he got here, on his own. He bought books, downloaded English programs. He made an effort to talk with people. He is not shy at all. He says talking to people helps him learn even if he makes mistakes. He was never homesick, although he misses his mother. We have only sent money to his family once, because we wanted them to get Internet. His family is ok financially and he has brothers that are doctors and help out the family a lot. One of the brothers bought a computer for the family. So last weekend Hachemi was online with the family for the first time for 2 hours. Our biggest arguments was when I was trying to teach him to drive. He scared me so bad sometimes I thought I was going to die, lol. Now he is an great driver and has his own truck. Sometimes he is a little quick tempered, but gets over it very fast and is the first one to hug and kiss and say"I'm sorry". He is super affectionate and I am told many times a day that I am loved. He is very mature for his age (35). He was hired the first interview he had for a full time position. He stopped working to go to school full time. He has a 4.0 GPA after 3 semesters. He got his 2nd job, all on his own. It is just a part time job, but works well around his classes. He is a hard worker and very trustworthy. He has never missed a day of work and when he gets his little paycheck he gives me 3/4ths of it to pay bills for the house. I tell him to keep it and he says no, to put it in the bank. I am terrible with money and he the one that saves. I am getting better with his help.

I too feel very blessed and I would definitely do it again. To think I almost did not answer his first email from the language exchange site. What a wonderful man I would have let slip through my fingers. It scares me to even think about it. lol

Meriem

Is the site Phrasebase.com?? I like it but their Nepali board is kinda dead - too few participants.

[Meriem_DZ 37]

I almost hate to post this, but my husband's been here since May 2008, he hasn't had any serious problems adjusting, nor been really homesick. He's done almost everything on his own - from getting his Social Security Card and state ID to finding a job and punctually navigating on public transportation, improving his English - with minimal assistance. He thinks we work too hard and take friendships too much for granted, wishes he had Moroccan buds to hang out at the coffee shop with, even puts up with my evil and cruel older sister with dignity and grace; he just moves from day to day with few complaints.

He's got housework, laundry, and grocery shopping down pat, doesn't drive and doesn't care much about that, has his own bank accounts and manages money well. My friends and family all love him, and he loves them. Other than being cranky without enough sleep and a cup of coffee in the morning, his sweet, thoughtful, easy-going, laid-back, accomodating, go with the flow attitude has made him a breeze to live with. But, we don't have the language, cultural and religious gulfs to close, and that probably has a lot to do with our happiness and lack of drama. We're a great match! I'm truly blessed.

Sorry

VW, I feel the same way you do. Your husband and mine seem to have a lot of the same qualities. Hachemi was very pro active with improving his English before he came. His English was much improved when he got here, and I think that helped a lot, except for understanding our southern slang. He comes home often asking what slang that he heard means. Then starts using the words sometimes for fun. He continued to study the English language even after he got here, on his own. He bought books, downloaded English programs. He made an effort to talk with people. He is not shy at all. He says talking to people helps him learn even if he makes mistakes. He was never homesick, although he misses his mother. We have only sent money to his family once, because we wanted them to get Internet. His family is ok financially and he has brothers that are doctors and help out the family a lot. One of the brothers bought a computer for the family. So last weekend Hachemi was online with the family for the first time for 2 hours. Our biggest arguments was when I was trying to teach him to drive. He scared me so bad sometimes I thought I was going to die, lol. Now he is an great driver and has his own truck. Sometimes he is a little quick tempered, but gets over it very fast and is the first one to hug and kiss and say"I'm sorry". He is super affectionate and I am told many times a day that I am loved. He is very mature for his age (35). He was hired the first interview he had for a full time position. He stopped working to go to school full time. He has a 4.0 GPA after 3 semesters. He got his 2nd job, all on his own. It is just a part time job, but works well around his classes. He is a hard worker and very trustworthy. He has never missed a day of work and when he gets his little paycheck he gives me 3/4ths of it to pay bills for the house. I tell him to keep it and he says no, to put it in the bank. I am terrible with money and he the one that saves. I am getting better with his help.

I too feel very blessed and I would definitely do it again. To think I almost did not answer his first email from the language exchange site. What a wonderful man I would have let slip through my fingers. It scares me to even think about it. lol

Meriem

Is the site Phrasebase.com?? I like it but their Nepali board is kinda dead - too few participants.

I'm not real sure Pattu Rani

I know it was free, and they actually had a class and the students could ask questions, and pratice saying things where everyone could hear. If you wanted to say something you clicked on a little hand, like you were holding up your hand and the instructer would acknoledge you. I will ask him when he gets home. He is in class right now.

Meriem

[caybee 21]

I'm not real sure Pattu Rani

I know it was free, and they actually had a class and the students could ask questions, and pratice saying things where everyone could hear. If you wanted to say something you clicked on a little hand, like you were holding up your hand and the instructer would acknoledge you. I will ask him when he gets home. He is in class right now.

Meriem

Wow, that sounds really good!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

VW - I also think that your husband is a little older than our husbands (which I think helps). I totally think if my husband would have had to be more self sufficient before he came here things would have been much easier. The fact that his mom and sisters did 100% of things for him certainly did not make him prepared for life here.

Amen!!

Is 34 older than most hubbies here?

Thanks for the affirmations, sises!

Edited February 13, 2009 by Virtual wife

[sereia 0]

VW - I also think that your husband is a little older than our husbands (which I think helps). I totally think if my husband would have had to be more self sufficient before he came here things would have been much easier. The fact that his mom and sisters did 100% of things for him certainly did not make him prepared for life here.

Amen!!

Is 34 older than most hubbies here?

Thanks for the affirmations, sises!