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o0pink0o

PINOY JOKES!!

By o0pink0o in Philippines

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o0pink0o Mentor

o0pink0o   3

Posted
Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

Kwento ni Pedrong Kuba

Isang Araw

Pedro: Nay ayaw ko na pong pumasok sa eskwelahan.

Nanay: Bakit?

Pedro: Kasi po lagi nila akong tinutuksong Kuba, kuba, kuba.

Nanay: Hayaan mo anak pag-aaralin kita ng Taekwando.

Makalipas ng 1 Buwan.

Nanay: O ano anak inaasar ka pa ba ng mga kaklase mong Kuba?

Pedro: Hindi na po Inay.

Nanay: O talaga? Ano ng tawag nila sayo?

Pedro: Ninja Turtles na po! :lol: :lol:

Fairy Tale

Lola: Reypin mo ako, magiging prinsesa ako.

Binata: (sumunod) Ayan… nireyp na kita. Bakit hindi ka naging prinsesa?

Lola: Ilang taon ka na?

Binata: 24.

Lola: Ang tanda mo na, naniniwala ka pa sa fairy tale?!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pasahe

Sa Isang Jeep

Pasahero: Mama, Magkano Po Yung Pasahe?

Driver: 7.50 Yung Minimum

Pasahero: (Dumukot Ito Sa Bulsa Para Kunin Yung Pera Niya, Ngunit sa Di Sinasadyang Dahilan Kulang Yung Pamasahe Niya.) Patay, Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Paano Kaya Ito? (Nag Isip Ito At Lumingon Sa Driver. Napansin Niya Na Duling Ito. Sabi Niya Sa Kanyang Sarili, Tama Duling Yung Driver Sigurado Pag Nagbigay Ako Ng 3.75 di Niya Mapapansin Na Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Kasi Doble Yung Paningin Nito. Inabot Niya Sa Driver Yung Pera.

Ngunit Laking Gulat Niya Nung May Sinabi Yung Driver Sa Kanya.

Driver: Kulang Ito!

Pasahero: Anong Kulang? Di Ba Sabi Mo 7.50 Yung Minimum?

Driver: Oo Nga 7.50 eh Dalawa Kaya Kayo.

Patay! Akala Mo Lusot Kana ha?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juan

Professor: cno sa inyo ang nkaexperience having sex with ghosts????

tinaas ni juan ang kanyang kamay....

Professor: Really? ano ang feeling having sex with ghosts????

Juan: Ay putcha!!!! akala ko goats!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

telephone

telephone:kkkkrrrrrrrinngggggggggg

yaya:hello po

lalaki:nasaan girlfriend ko

yaya:nasa taas po ser nakikipaglandian po ser

lalaki:patayin mo sila

yaya:opo

after 3 minuites

yaya:ser patay na po sila

lalaki:tapon mo sila sa swimmng pool

yaya:ser wala po tayong swimming pool

lalaki:sorry wrong number

Edited by o0pink0o

My son named Zac

"My son's smile makes my day complete"

zac-1.jpg

VErqm5.png

MY K3 TIMELINE purple4.gifVid of how I prepared my interview documents purple.gifPapers that I brought on my USEM interview

AOS TIMELINE

06.17.2010 - submitted our papers

06.19.2010 - papers arrived at Chicago lockbox

06.24.2010 - Check cashed

06.28.2010 - NOA1 Hardcopy received (9 days from the day they got our papers)

07.05.2010 - Received Biometrics Schedule (July 26)

08.05.2010 - Biometrics done! (had to re-schedule from 7/26 to 8/5)

08.13.2010 - Got my interview letter

08.20.2010 - EAD card on production

09.06.2010 - Got my EAD Card (62 days)

09.07.2010 - Applied for SSN

09.14.2010 - SSN Card received

09.16.2010 - Interview schedule (APPROVED)

09.20.2010 - Welcome Notice Received ("Welcome to the USA")

09.25.2010 - 10 yr Green Card received! (98 days)

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envy_me Experienced

envy_me   18

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

padagdag.. ;)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Mister: Kung gagawa ako ng pelikula, gusto ko, ako si

ZORRO!

Misis: E ako, sino?

Mister: Si DACOS!

Misis: Dacos? Sino 'yun?

Mister: DA COS of all my ZORROs!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Job interview:

Boss: Ano ang alam mo?

Rommel: Alam ko po kung saan kayo nakatira ng misis niyo, at kung

saan nakatira ang kabit niyo.

Boss: Tanggap ka na!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Tomas: Sobrang tabatsoy ang misis ko, kaya gusto niyang magbawas ng

timbang.

Nag-horseback riding siya...

Jorge: Ano'ng resulta?

Tomas: Nabawasan ng sampung kilo 'yung kabayo!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ama: Kumusta ang pag-aaral mo?

Anak: Nag-lesson at test po kami tungkol sa mga manok.

Ama: Ano, madali ba?

Anak: Chicken na chicken!

Ama: Anong grade mo?

Anak: Itlog po.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Dalawang holdaper sa bangko:

Holdaper #1: Yehey! Mayaman na tayo!

Holdaper #2: Bilangin mo na!

Holdaper #1: Alam mo namang mahina ako sa math. Abangan na lang natin

sa balita kung magkano!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Pasyente: Okey ba ang services sa ospital na ito?

Doktor: Oo naman. Sigurado 'yon.

Pasyente: Paano kung hindi ako satisfied?

Doktor: Ibabalik namin ang sakit mo.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

3 tanga nagsisiksikan sa maliit na **kama**:*

TANGA1: Pare, di tayo kasya. Bawas tayo ng isa, sa lapag na lang

matulog.

(Bumaba si Tanga 1.)

TANGA2: Ayan, pare maluwag na, akyat kana dito!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dodong,

Sa susunod anak, Nido non-fat na lang ang ipadala mo sa tatang mo.

Nasisira kasi ang tiyan niya sa pinadala mong Nivea Moisturing Milk...

Nagmamahal - Nanay

-------------------------------------------------------------------

ANAK: 'Tay , penge ng pera. May project kami. Bibili ako

ng 'cocomban'.

TATAY: Ano ka ba naman. Hangga ngayon 'cocomban' pa rin ang tawag mo!

ANAK: Ano po ba ang tama?

TATAY: Bomb paper!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

MISIS: Dear, iligaw mo nga tong pusa. Nakasako na. Dalhin mo sa

malayo!

MISTER: Ok!

MISIS: Bakit ka ginabi? Niligaw mo ba ang pusa?

MISTER: Bwisit na pusang yan! Kundi ko siya sinundan, di ako nakauwi!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

PEDRO: Galing ako sa doktor, nakabili na ako ng hearing aid. Grabe

ang linaw ngayon nang pandinig ko!

JUAN: Wow, galing! Magkanong bili mo sa hearing aid?

PEDRO: Kahapon lang!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

At a funeral...

ERAP: Tara na, Jinggoy. Alis na tayo!

JINGGOY: Kararating pa lang natin a!

ERAP: Naku mahirap nang maiwan. Basahin mo o: 'REMAINS WILL BE

CREMATED.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Tanga 1: Ano bang hinahanap mo diyan sa supot ng 3-in-1 coffee.

Kanina ka pa silip nang silip diyan.

Tanga 2: Hinahanap ko yung libreng asukal. Nakasulat kasi sa

karton 'SUGAR FREE.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------

JUAN: Pare, ang bilis kong nabuo 'tong puzzle!

PEDRO: Talaga? Gaano kabilis?

JUAN: 5 months!

PEDRO: Tagal naman!

JUAN: Tagal ba 'yun? Nakalagay nga dito: 'for 3 years & up'!

:lol:

"i don't know much about love but i know that i love him.."

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o0pink0o Mentor

o0pink0o   3

Posted
Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Philippines
 Timeline
  • Author
Posted
:lol::lol:

My son named Zac

"My son's smile makes my day complete"

zac-1.jpg

VErqm5.png

MY K3 TIMELINE purple4.gifVid of how I prepared my interview documents purple.gifPapers that I brought on my USEM interview

AOS TIMELINE

06.17.2010 - submitted our papers

06.19.2010 - papers arrived at Chicago lockbox

06.24.2010 - Check cashed

06.28.2010 - NOA1 Hardcopy received (9 days from the day they got our papers)

07.05.2010 - Received Biometrics Schedule (July 26)

08.05.2010 - Biometrics done! (had to re-schedule from 7/26 to 8/5)

08.13.2010 - Got my interview letter

08.20.2010 - EAD card on production

09.06.2010 - Got my EAD Card (62 days)

09.07.2010 - Applied for SSN

09.14.2010 - SSN Card received

09.16.2010 - Interview schedule (APPROVED)

09.20.2010 - Welcome Notice Received ("Welcome to the USA")

09.25.2010 - 10 yr Green Card received! (98 days)

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sweet_wifey22 Community Regular

sweet_wifey22   0

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted
:lol::lol::lol:

<style>body{background-image:url(http://images67.imikimi.com/image/images2_full/19twj-101.gif);background-repeat:no-repeat;}</style>

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nbfsb Enthusiast

nbfsb   1

Posted
Filed: Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted
hahahhah...dadagdag ako once may nareceive n ako na text jokes..

destiny belongs to those who believe in their dreams and have the courage to really pursue it!

dont stop when you're tired, stop when you are done!

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KC♥MP Proficient

KC♥MP   0

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

K1 Timeline

02/26/2007 - Filed I-129F

03/08/2007 - NOA1

06/05/2007 - NOA2

09/10/2007 - Interview

09/13/2007 - Visa Received

12/14/2007 - Flight to USA, POE-LAX

02/22/2008 - Wedding Date

AOS

05/29/2008 - I-485 received at Chicago Lockbox

06/19/2008 - Biometrics

08/25/2008 - Card production ordered

08/30/2008 - Green Card received

ROC

07/15/2010 - Mailed I-751 to CSC

07/19/2010 - NOA1

07/21/2010 - Check cleared

08/11/2010 - Biometrics

08/24/2010 - Card production ordered

08/27/2010 - Approval notice received

08/30/2010 - Green card received

N400 - Naturalization

08/08/2011 - Mailed N400 to Phoenix, AZ lockbox

08/12/2011 - NOA

08/15/2011 - Check cashed

09/07/2011 - Biometrics

09/09/2011 - Case status update - In line for testing & interview

09/13/2011 - Case status update - Interview scheduled

09/16/2011 - Interview appointment letter received from the mail

10/31/2011 - Test/Interview - Passed

12/07/2011 - In line for Oath Ceremony Scheduling

01/27/2012 - Oath Ceremony

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lady23 Enthusiast

lady23   0

Posted
Filed: Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

nag napatawa ako sa mga jokes nyo... :lol::lol::lol:

1_918513300l.jpg

04/18/07 first he sent message to me ( Interkontakt.net) then we became friends, bestfriends, and a lover :)

01/13/08 we first met personally at NAIA airport

o1/21/08 became engaged

01/25/08 he flew back to FL.

04/10/08 papers sent to VSC

04/15/08 papers received to VSC

04/21/08 check cashed/ noticed receipt issued (noa1)

04/24/08 touched

04/25/08 noa1 hard copy received

05/21/08 touched

07/28/08 touched ( i was so excited if we will get approve )

07/29/08 touched ( but it was an rfe lol )

07/29/08 rfe sent from uscis and fiance received it through fax. actually he called that time to follow up our case and the woman said that we have our rfe so my fiance asked to send it through fax right away.

07/29/08 request documents needed sent to uscis

07/30/08 touched

08/

07/31/08 Rfe's document was delivered at 12:50 PM. The item was signed for by P NOVAK.

08/01/08 touched=case resumed on process

08/03/08 touched ( not excited )

08/05/08 touched ( wonder why touched again lol )

08/06/08 touched again lol ( hummm they are working our case :) )

08/13/08 NOA2 ( WERE APPROVED) :) THANK YOU LORD!

09/15-16/08 medical I hope everything will be fine

10/24/08 interview sched. wish me luck! God help me :)

10/29/08 visa received!

12/19/08 my flight to US

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pinktulips2012 Proficient

pinktulips2012   1

Posted
Filed: IR-5 Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted
:lol::lol::lol:

Naturalization

01-04-2012 --- N400 sent

01-11-2012 --- Check Cashed

01-10-2012 --- NOA1

02-07-2012 --- Biometrics

02-14-2012 --- Yellow Letter (it says "bring any state issued ID" for interview)

02-24-2012 --- Placed in line for Interview Scheduling

02-27-2012 --- Interview Letter sent out

03-02-2012 --- Interview Letter received

04-02-2012 --- INTERVIEW- passed!

05-01-2012 --- Oath scheduled/ Oath Letter Sent

05-16-2012 --- Oath Taking! I am now a USC!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IR-5

05-17-2012 --- I-130 Sent

05-29-2012 --- NOA1

09-24-2012 --- NOA2

10-11-2012 --- Received Case Number via email

10-12-2012 --- Mailed AOS

10-24-2012 --- Mailed DS-230

11-16-2012 --- Case Complete

11-27-2012 --- Received interview schedule via email

11-05-2012 --- Early Medical day 1

11-06-2012 --- Medical Day 2 -PASSED!

01-03-2013 --- Interview- APRROVED!

01-10-2013 --- VISA Received

01-14-2013 --- POE LAX

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nbfsb Enthusiast

nbfsb   1

Posted
Filed: Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

-ang lason ba pag naexpired, nakakalason pa din?

-bakit pag close kau, open kayo sa isat-isa?

-pwede ba maglagay ng breakfast or dinner sa lunchbox?

-kpag ang sabon nadumihan, kailangan pa bng sabunin?

-kapag ang ipis nalaglag sa tubig na may sabon...dudumi ba ang tubig o lilinis ang ipis?

=)

destiny belongs to those who believe in their dreams and have the courage to really pursue it!

dont stop when you're tired, stop when you are done!

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nbfsb Enthusiast

nbfsb   1

Posted
Filed: Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

HOW TO PASS BAD NEWS... pedro at amo nag uusap sa cellphone...

PEDRO: boss, eto po yung katiwala sa mansion...

AMO: oh, npatawag ka?

P: ibabalita ko po sana sainyo na patay na yng alaga nyong parrot..

A: si tweety?yung nanalo sa bird show? bkit namatay?

P: nakakain ng bulok na karne ng patay na kabayo...

A: patay na kabayo?

P: yng imported na kabayo nyo po, namatay kakahila ng kariton ng tubig..

A: para san nman ang tubig?

P: para sa sunog po!

A: sunog? dyos ko!

P: ung mansion nyo po nasunog! sumagi yng kurtina sa kandila ksi.. madaling kumalat ang apoy!

A: para san ba yng kandila? may kuryente nman jan?

P: para sa burol po!

A: ano?! bat sino nmatay?

P: ung lola nyo po. dumating po ksi ng walang pasabi..kala ko magnanakaw, nabaril ko tuloy. sige boss uwe na kau...

destiny belongs to those who believe in their dreams and have the courage to really pursue it!

dont stop when you're tired, stop when you are done!

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Jasman0717 Grand Master

Jasman0717   9

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

Claudeth tries to tell me jokes....I don't get em :blink:

usa_fl_sm_nwm.gifphilippines_fl_md_clr.gif

United States & Republic of the Philippines

"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid." John Wayne

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Ban Hammer Grand Master

Ban Hammer   13,344

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
 Timeline
Posted
Claudeth tries to tell me jokes....I don't get em :blink:

not so much so?

* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

 

USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

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Jasman0717 Grand Master

Jasman0717   9

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted
Claudeth tries to tell me jokes....I don't get em :blink:

not so much so?

Sense of humor seems to be a bit different :wacko:

usa_fl_sm_nwm.gifphilippines_fl_md_clr.gif

United States & Republic of the Philippines

"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid." John Wayne

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o0pink0o Mentor

o0pink0o   3

Posted
Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Philippines
 Timeline
  • Author
Posted
:lol::lol:

My son named Zac

"My son's smile makes my day complete"

zac-1.jpg

VErqm5.png

MY K3 TIMELINE purple4.gifVid of how I prepared my interview documents purple.gifPapers that I brought on my USEM interview

AOS TIMELINE

06.17.2010 - submitted our papers

06.19.2010 - papers arrived at Chicago lockbox

06.24.2010 - Check cashed

06.28.2010 - NOA1 Hardcopy received (9 days from the day they got our papers)

07.05.2010 - Received Biometrics Schedule (July 26)

08.05.2010 - Biometrics done! (had to re-schedule from 7/26 to 8/5)

08.13.2010 - Got my interview letter

08.20.2010 - EAD card on production

09.06.2010 - Got my EAD Card (62 days)

09.07.2010 - Applied for SSN

09.14.2010 - SSN Card received

09.16.2010 - Interview schedule (APPROVED)

09.20.2010 - Welcome Notice Received ("Welcome to the USA")

09.25.2010 - 10 yr Green Card received! (98 days)

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envy_me Experienced

envy_me   18

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

paadagdag ulit.. ;)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Never mind, just understand his resume… very interesting… Read it till the end… Enjoy

Resimay

To hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the offiser job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

I'm lookin for a Jobb as a offiser but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth, I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

BRYAN nikname Beefy

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Employer's response:...

Dear Bryan,

It's OK sweety, we've got spell check. When can you start?

:rofl:

"i don't know much about love but i know that i love him.."

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