Do your parents feel happy about your marriage?

[Uncle Wally 2]

My mom is thrilled.

My dad doesn't give a tinker's cuss, he's dead.

[JULIAFERNO 0]

Nope! Can't say mine do I think my in-laws hold that against me too (that my parents don't accept mixed race marriage). They try to be friendly though that's more important. I am marrying my babe and he is marrying me, it's not a three way marriage. Thank you God.

Amen.

[ginger1981 0]

My husband's parents like me a lot and I get on with his entire family. They have been nothing but welcoming and accepted me with wide open arms.

However, my poor husband had to deal with my mom...my parents were far from thrilled at first. I always dated people they just didn't understand...basically anyone other than the typical small town midwest guy next door who was the allstar on the high school sports teams. I think they thought it was a passing phase so when I told them I was getting married they were in a state of shock. My dad was completely rational but my mom was beyond irrational...she said some pretty horrible things and basically threw me under the bus when it came to her saying bad things about my decision to other family members. I took the high road and remained calm and never let myself get rattled and retaliate...which was good because it made me look good and I think my dad came to bat for me and spoke some sense into my mom. By the time of my wedding my mom was ok with everything and although they are far from close she is more welcoming towards my husband now.

[Bert&Jie Lin 0]

My parents passed away many years ago, but my sisters have been supportive. However, my fiancee's parents aren't taking it so well. They are very conservative and traditional. They wanted her to marry someone from the same region. They tried to pressure her by inviting her not to come back home, so we he had to get another apartment. I don't think that is what they wanted or expected to happen, but they forced my fiancee to make a decision. If she went home, she would "never" be allowed out the house again, even to work. I am sure they would not have done that, but they were trying their best to split us. It backfired. I haven't met her parents because her father wanted to beat me. With the passage of time, her parents now accept that we will get married. They both agree now, but her father still isn't happy. Her father no longer wants to beat me, so that's progress. She's now spending time with her parents. With time, I think they will happy when they see that she is happy.

[Rebekah 0]

Hello,

I just read your posting. A family that let children take their own decisions is part of this culture.

Have you read a book named "What to do if your child is eighteen and did not leave the house yet"

I am in a similar situation. Economically we never could ask for help to anyone in his family. Mine all the time worked hard, was very intellectual and economic resources were not an issue until I came and married.

At least he got a debt to go to school. Mine couldn't. I am finishing grad school now and he is taking care of the house expenses working very hard. Then I will work to support us so he will be able to finish school. Our hope and strength is that our situation will be better in the future.

Always keep in mind that you both love each other and decided to be together in good times and bad times. Let that relationship grow. Make the bonding process to happen. Don't let anyone to interfere. You knew what you were going to face. For your future physical and spiritual wellness you have to demonstrate yourself and your parents that you married the right guy. Work together to get rid of the debt. Share simple things. It is challenging and hard to achieve. I have debts now too. My parents try to help us but I don't let them. A little thing here and there, because I like it not because "we" need it. It will make them feel better. They are worried as mine. They will always try to make you go back home (a safe place).

I understand it. What are your standards, what you expected is not happening and his parents are way too different that yours and it worries you.

It helped me to go to visit a counselor every time stress gets my nerves to let her know what is going on. We have one as a couple too.

One needs somebody to listen and to help us with the stress, outside of family and friends. Family always judge.

I can guess that every time you tell your husband that you are anxious about the debt he just make a face .

He does not understand what are you talking about right?

Love each other, work together. Learn to know each other and make arrangements to solve differences. Remember, he is the only family you have in the US and ..He only got you to love and help him to be successful in life.

Sincerely,

Rebekah

[Dan and Lynne 0]

mine hasnt spoke to me in over a year.

[Big Papa Zone 93]

Have you read a book named "What to do if your child is eighteen and did not leave the house yet"

No, I can't say I have. Is there one called, "What To Do If Your Child Is 35 And Did Not Leave The House Yet?" It's just that I'd like to give my brother a copy.............

[alex and astrid 38]

My mum and dad love my fiance, my mum spoils him rotten every time its a special occasion! They know he is the right guy for me and have been very supportive of us and what we have done during our relationship.

His mum and dad, on the other hand. I don't feel accepted by them at all, and it really hurts. It makes me feel like I am not good enough for their son, even though I know I am. They are nice to me and all, but I don't feel like part of the family. Maybe it will changed when I am legally their daughter in law.

[Cacerez 19]

I (female USC) had been separated from my ex-husband for a year and a half when I met my fiance, although the divorce didn't get finalized until after we started dating. The biggest -and only- issue that my mom has is comparing my fiance with my ex. Granted, it's easy to do. Your experiences mold you and it was a big fear I had to get over also. My mom is still struggling with it, but she's coming to acceptance. The hard part, as I've seen mentioned a lot on these responses so far, is the language barrier and the fact that they've never actually met face-to-face. Also, I have a college education and he doesn't, and doesn't speak much English, so her concern is "how is he going to support you?" - again a little comparison mixed in there from my ex, who was a bum. She's also concerned that after a few years and us living here to pay off my student loans we will move down there. My dad doesn't say much, just wants me to be happy and make the right decisions. As far as I'm concerned, this is the best decision of my life.

His parents seem to like me. I know they - especially his mom - is sad because "I'm taking her son away" but she doesn't take it out on me and is always very welcoming and cordial when I see her. In fact, the four of us have come to the decision that I can call his parents Mama and Papa and he can call mine Mom and Dad. That makes me happy - I hope it is good signs of a strong bond in the future

Either way, as far as your situation, welcome to America! Debt unfortunately is a four-letter word of life. You will eventually pay it off, but you will have to do without in the meantime. Good luck!