What is the stupidest thing you have heard because your with a MENA SO ?

[Nothing1234 2]

I don't mean to offend with my thoughts, but I just wanted to say a few things:

You know I was thinking about it...so many of these things are funny and we say they're the stupidest things, but in reality, many of them have come out of MENA countries or MENA relationships. If you look at various issues that have been raised in Amnesty International or the news regarding MENA these questions are ignorant yet valid. The tough part is that so many people don't take the time to learn about the MENA country good or bad and just assume that because their fiance or spouse says everything is a bed of roses, well then dammit it must be. And I'm not saying the USA is all that and a bag of chips, but some of the points your families have made are actually valid.

There have actually been cases on these MENA boards of women who were scammed - how many women have gotten dumped when their husband has the green card or becomes a USC; there was a woman who found out from the embassy at her husband's K3 interview that he was married to two other women at that present time - and the chick stayed with him!!!!; we just recently had the big discussion on here about Egyptian law and what your husband can legally do to you should you misbehave; the Yemen case did really happen...so, in essence, somebody didn't make sh!t up, it did really happen. You just can't brush it all aside and laugh it off...it might not happen to you, but take it with a grain of salt.

I will also say that when I was in college I had many girlfriends from MENA countries whose parents sent them to my all-women's college to study. In their eyes, they felt very fortunate to be allowed to get an education. It was an honor and a matter of trust bestowed upon them by their parents. Two of them had been circumcised as very young girls and that was my first exposure to learning about that horrid practice. Just think about your little girls being put through that...you might say, "oh never!", but will you always have the say as to what happens to your little girl rather than her grandmothers and aunties and all the other women around who did it too??? Not always.

At the end of the day, I look at how many of you have fallen in love with great guys...you have wonderful relationships, fulfilling lives and love lives, and there is a beauty to it all. But I do want to say, life is not always a bed of roses in MENA countries, nor is it here, but the romanticised version you have in your head from a 3 week visit can be very different than what a woman who was born and raised there has had to deal with her whole life. Just my two cents.

Sad but true for MENA and other areas as well. It's not all a bed of roses. Although IMO, if you're basing your decisions on 3 weeks of experiences and have not spent more time or done more research to learn...then I think you get out of it what you invested in it. Minimal investment means minimal return.

[childress_london 3]

I don't mean to offend with my thoughts, but I just wanted to say a few things:

You know I was thinking about it...so many of these things are funny and we say they're the stupidest things, but in reality, many of them have come out of MENA countries or MENA relationships. If you look at various issues that have been raised in Amnesty International or the news regarding MENA these questions are ignorant yet valid. The tough part is that so many people don't take the time to learn about the MENA country good or bad and just assume that because their fiance or spouse says everything is a bed of roses, well then dammit it must be. And I'm not saying the USA is all that and a bag of chips, but some of the points your families have made are actually valid.

There have actually been cases on these MENA boards of women who were scammed - how many women have gotten dumped when their husband has the green card or becomes a USC; there was a woman who found out from the embassy at her husband's K3 interview that he was married to two other women at that present time - and the chick stayed with him!!!!; we just recently had the big discussion on here about Egyptian law and what your husband can legally do to you should you misbehave; the Yemen case did really happen...so, in essence, somebody didn't make sh!t up, it did really happen. You just can't brush it all aside and laugh it off...it might not happen to you, but take it with a grain of salt.

I will also say that when I was in college I had many girlfriends from MENA countries whose parents sent them to my all-women's college to study. In their eyes, they felt very fortunate to be allowed to get an education. It was an honor and a matter of trust bestowed upon them by their parents. Two of them had been circumcised as very young girls and that was my first exposure to learning about that horrid practice. Just think about your little girls being put through that...you might say, "oh never!", but will you always have the say as to what happens to your little girl rather than her grandmothers and aunties and all the other women around who did it too??? Not always.

At the end of the day, I look at how many of you have fallen in love with great guys...you have wonderful relationships, fulfilling lives and love lives, and there is a beauty to it all. But I do want to say, life is not always a bed of roses in MENA countries, nor is it here, but the romanticised version you have in your head from a 3 week visit can be very different than what a woman who was born and raised there has had to deal with her whole life. Just my two cents.

Thank you for your comment, but I think what we are talking about here is prejudice. Nobody is saying these things don't happen. What is wrong and sometimes funny, is that people assume that everyone from a country is like the one story they might have read. None of the hijackers responsible for 9/11 were Iranian, yet my husband is assumed to be a terrorist. (What about Timothy McVay?) Yes, the man in Not Without My daughter was Iranian, but does this mean all Iranian men are abusive? Many are very loving and affectionate men (like my husband, of course! ). Women are abused in this country every day. The ignorant comments we hear are not based on reality, but ignorance and prejudice. People should be judged as an individual and not based on something someone else did. It is an insult to my intelligence to assume that my husband is using me or is a terrorist and I just don't know it. Not only that, I am bringing my husband here, to become an American citizen some day...I am not moving to Iran. My parents also assumed that just because I was marrying an Iranian man, that for some strange reason, I would be subject to the laws of Iran. ??? I am in America, not Iran. B) I can also tell you, that if for some reason we did move to Iran, that my husband would give his life to protect me from any harm. My husband never stated that things in Iran are a bed of roses. Quite the opposite. That's why he's not there. ;-) And I know the reality for women in that country. I am not ignorant or stupid. I know exactly what goes on in that country and what the government and laws are like. The reason I am with my husband to begin with is because we agree on so many issues and how we want to live our lives. I mean, why else would we have fallen in love? I am very lucky to have him. Thank God for the Internet!

[merijan 0]

I don't mean to offend with my thoughts, but I just wanted to say a few things:

You know I was thinking about it...so many of these things are funny and we say they're the stupidest things, but in reality, many of them have come out of MENA countries or MENA relationships. If you look at various issues that have been raised in Amnesty International or the news regarding MENA these questions are ignorant yet valid. The tough part is that so many people don't take the time to learn about the MENA country good or bad and just assume that because their fiance or spouse says everything is a bed of roses, well then dammit it must be. And I'm not saying the USA is all that and a bag of chips, but some of the points your families have made are actually valid.

There have actually been cases on these MENA boards of women who were scammed - how many women have gotten dumped when their husband has the green card or becomes a USC; there was a woman who found out from the embassy at her husband's K3 interview that he was married to two other women at that present time - and the chick stayed with him!!!!; we just recently had the big discussion on here about Egyptian law and what your husband can legally do to you should you misbehave; the Yemen case did really happen...so, in essence, somebody didn't make sh!t up, it did really happen. You just can't brush it all aside and laugh it off...it might not happen to you, but take it with a grain of salt.

I will also say that when I was in college I had many girlfriends from MENA countries whose parents sent them to my all-women's college to study. In their eyes, they felt very fortunate to be allowed to get an education. It was an honor and a matter of trust bestowed upon them by their parents. Two of them had been circumcised as very young girls and that was my first exposure to learning about that horrid practice. Just think about your little girls being put through that...you might say, "oh never!", but will you always have the say as to what happens to your little girl rather than her grandmothers and aunties and all the other women around who did it too??? Not always.

At the end of the day, I look at how many of you have fallen in love with great guys...you have wonderful relationships, fulfilling lives and love lives, and there is a beauty to it all. But I do want to say, life is not always a bed of roses in MENA countries, nor is it here, but the romantacised version you have in your head from a 3 week visit can be very different than what a woman who was born and raised there has had to deal with her whole life. Just my two cents.

Thank you for your comment, but I think what we are talking about here is prejudice. Nobody is saying these things don't happen. What is wrong and sometimes funny, is that people assume that everyone from a country is like the one story they might have read. None of the hijackers responsible for 9/11 were Iranian, yet my husband is assumed to be a terrorist. (What about Timothy McVay?) Yes, the man in Not Without My daughter was Iranian, but does this mean all Iranian men are abusive? Many are very loving and affectionate men (like my husband, of course! ). Women are abused in this country every day. The ignorant comments we hear are not based on reality, but ignorance and prejudice. People should be judged as an individual and not based on something someone else did. It is an insult to my intelligence to assume that my husband is using me or is a terrorist and I just don't know it. Not only that, I am bringing my husband here, to become an American citizen some day...I am not moving to Iran. My parents also assumed that just because I was marrying an Iranian man, that for some strange reason, I would be subject to the laws of Iran. ??? I am in America, not Iran. B) I can also tell you, that if for some reason we did move to Iran, that my husband would give his life to protect me from any harm. My husband never stated that things in Iran are a bed of roses. Quite the opposite. That's why he's not there. ;-) And I know the reality for women in that country. I am not ignorant or stupid. I know exactly what goes on in that country and what the government and laws are like. The reason I am with my husband to begin with is because we agree on so many issues and how we want to live our lives. I mean, why else would we have fallen in love? I am very lucky to have him. Thank God for the Internet!

I

I agree. And I would like to add that it seems more and more we turn on the news and hear about a man who shot his wife and kids, children being molested, child pornogaphers , etc.. and They are NOT from Mena, or south asia, they are good old Americans.

I do blieve ignerance is everywhere. However in USA where we pride ourselves to be such a "great educated and civilized" nation, most of us are ignorant. Untill we meet someone from "over there" and we are able to inform and educate ourselves. My husbands job here in USA (now hes laid off) was with a large Spanish Tv station, he was a photographer and editor. And he found all of them to be blantly ignorant to all matters of world news. Some did not even know where Pakistan was. Last night I was watching the local nightly news and they reffered to the men who where on trial for plotting to blow up a military institute in USA as "Muslim Immigrants" I called and talked to the producer. I told her first of all Muslim could entail vast amount of countries. And I asked her when we in California refer to Mexican Immigrants why dont we call them Catholic Immigrants.. I mean majority are catholic. The best we can do is try to educate people and hope it spreads.

[Staashi 371]

while nessa isn't from mena, i was asked by a co-worker if i was learning spanish now that i'm married to a brazilian

And I've been asked if we speak portuguese in our home because my husband is from Argentina. Ummmmm nooooo.

[Staashi 371]

I don't mean to offend with my thoughts, but I just wanted to say a few things:

You know I was thinking about it...so many of these things are funny and we say they're the stupidest things, but in reality, many of them have come out of MENA countries or MENA relationships. If you look at various issues that have been raised in Amnesty International or the news regarding MENA these questions are ignorant yet valid. The tough part is that so many people don't take the time to learn about the MENA country good or bad and just assume that because their fiance or spouse says everything is a bed of roses, well then dammit it must be. And I'm not saying the USA is all that and a bag of chips, but some of the points your families have made are actually valid.

There have actually been cases on these MENA boards of women who were scammed - how many women have gotten dumped when their husband has the green card or becomes a USC; there was a woman who found out from the embassy at her husband's K3 interview that he was married to two other women at that present time - and the chick stayed with him!!!!; we just recently had the big discussion on here about Egyptian law and what your husband can legally do to you should you misbehave; the Yemen case did really happen...so, in essence, somebody didn't make sh!t up, it did really happen. You just can't brush it all aside and laugh it off...it might not happen to you, but take it with a grain of salt.

I will also say that when I was in college I had many girlfriends from MENA countries whose parents sent them to my all-women's college to study. In their eyes, they felt very fortunate to be allowed to get an education. It was an honor and a matter of trust bestowed upon them by their parents. Two of them had been circumcised as very young girls and that was my first exposure to learning about that horrid practice. Just think about your little girls being put through that...you might say, "oh never!", but will you always have the say as to what happens to your little girl rather than her grandmothers and aunties and all the other women around who did it too??? Not always.

At the end of the day, I look at how many of you have fallen in love with great guys...you have wonderful relationships, fulfilling lives and love lives, and there is a beauty to it all. But I do want to say, life is not always a bed of roses in MENA countries, nor is it here, but the romantacised version you have in your head from a 3 week visit can be very different than what a woman who was born and raised there has had to deal with her whole life. Just my two cents.

Thank you for your comment, but I think what we are talking about here is prejudice. Nobody is saying these things don't happen. What is wrong and sometimes funny, is that people assume that everyone from a country is like the one story they might have read. None of the hijackers responsible for 9/11 were Iranian, yet my husband is assumed to be a terrorist. (What about Timothy McVay?) Yes, the man in Not Without My daughter was Iranian, but does this mean all Iranian men are abusive? Many are very loving and affectionate men (like my husband, of course! ). Women are abused in this country every day. The ignorant comments we hear are not based on reality, but ignorance and prejudice. People should be judged as an individual and not based on something someone else did. It is an insult to my intelligence to assume that my husband is using me or is a terrorist and I just don't know it. Not only that, I am bringing my husband here, to become an American citizen some day...I am not moving to Iran. My parents also assumed that just because I was marrying an Iranian man, that for some strange reason, I would be subject to the laws of Iran. ??? I am in America, not Iran. B) I can also tell you, that if for some reason we did move to Iran, that my husband would give his life to protect me from any harm. My husband never stated that things in Iran are a bed of roses. Quite the opposite. That's why he's not there. ;-) And I know the reality for women in that country. I am not ignorant or stupid. I know exactly what goes on in that country and what the government and laws are like. The reason I am with my husband to begin with is because we agree on so many issues and how we want to live our lives. I mean, why else would we have fallen in love? I am very lucky to have him. Thank God for the Internet!

I

I agree. And I would like to add that it seems more and more we turn on the news and hear about a man who shot his wife and kids, children being molested, child pornogaphers , etc.. and They are NOT from Mena, or south asia, they are good old Americans.

I do blieve ignerance is everywhere. However in USA where we pride ourselves to be such a "great educated and civilized" nation, most of us are ignorant. Untill we meet someone from "over there" and we are able to inform and educate ourselves. My husbands job here in USA (now hes laid off) was with a large Spanish Tv station, he was a photographer and editor. And he found all of them to be blantly ignorant to all matters of world news. Some did not even know where Pakistan was. Last night I was watching the local nightly news and they reffered to the men who where on trial for plotting to blow up a military institute in USA as "Muslim Immigrants" I called and talked to the producer. I told her first of all Muslim could entail vast amount of countries. And I asked her when we in California refer to Mexican Immigrants why dont we call them Catholic Immigrants.. I mean majority are catholic. The best we can do is try to educate people and hope it spreads.

Prejudice is prejudice - prejudgement. And it is just that. But what I was trying to point out is that many times your family members, and mine too, have been known to say things regarding the visa process or immigration issues because of what they have seen on television or read about on the news. People go with what they know, and if all they know or have been exposed to is MENA folk as terrorists or all women will conform and wear hijab, well, sadly that is what they'll go on. Education is key...you can't change everyone but your actions and those of your spouse will change attitudes in time.

One other thing, children are molested in MENA, women are raped and beaten/beaten for being raped, little boys 3-4 years old are used as camel jockeys in the Gulf countries, human rights are atrocious...it just isn't on the news. Crime and punishment isn't just an American thing - it happens allover the world. That's just the way it is.

[Nothing1234 2]

while nessa isn't from mena, i was asked by a co-worker if i was learning spanish now that i'm married to a brazilian

And I've been asked if we speak portuguese in our home because my husband is from Argentina. Ummmmm nooooo.

I guess we can't expect people to know all things. I have had similar comments as well in reference to my grandmother and cousins from Spain/Argentina and my great grandfather who was born in Puerto Rico. I guess people are very culturally centric to their own lives and experiences. I was raised differently. My grandmother is an amazing woman also a librarian so naturally curious and informed; she always encouraged us to learn, travel and experience all we could. I thank god each day for my Grams.

[My Mohammed 2]

He's a terrorist and your gonna end up dead one day.

**

** LoL.. I don't mean to laugh, but I have been told the same thing and it's very upsetting to start with, but now I let it go in one ear and out the other. I tell them we need to worry about those right here in the U.S. that kill for no reson and i'd be more scared of going out to a bar and meeting a guy and gettin killed by him than I am my SO. It makes me sad to think how small some peoples minds are.

[My Mohammed 2]

Well, i've heard so much it'd take me all night and no one wants to read all that, but i'll throw a few out there that pisses me off.

1. He's a terrorist and your gonna end up dead one day.

2. You gonna go over there and some vans gonna stop by you walking, snatch you in it, and they gonna sell you to some Prince as a sex slave.

3. You gonna have to wear that thing on your head or he'll beat you.

4. His family will make you cook, clean, and work for them, if not, his mom has the right to beat you.

5. You will have to walk behind him at all times.. you know they don't allow the women to walk by the side of their man over there.

6. He'll change you and make you convert.. we won't even know you when you come back.. that is if you ever do come back.

7. Terrorist just go around looking for an American and who's to say he isn't one of them and take you, rape you, and none of your family ever hear from you again.

8. What if you get him over here and he's really a terrorist and he kills someone?? You know they'll put you in prison for bringing him here don't you?

Many more just as stupid, but you guys get the idea. I try now to avoid anyone I know that's going to give me a lecture in a public place, for others to stare at me with a look that could kill.

[bhajishah 4]

When my hubby first came to states my administrator said "well if the place blows up I'll know who did it" I was dumbfounded and replied. "They send me the retarded terrorist that has the lif goal of blowing up a ####### hole?" "i was jipped".

[morocco4ever 63]

When my hubby first came to states my administrator said "well if the place blows up I'll know who did it" I was dumbfounded and replied. "They send me the retarded terrorist that has the lif goal of blowing up a ####### hole?" "i was jipped".

[Staashi 371]

When my hubby first came to states my administrator said "well if the place blows up I'll know who did it" I was dumbfounded and replied. "They send me the retarded terrorist that has the lif goal of blowing up a ####### hole?" "i was jipped".

Cindi that is too f'ing funny!

[Sinergy 3]

My husband isnt MENA...however before i went over there to meet and live in Romania with my husband, my grandmother cried for a month thinking when i got off the plane id be met with men with machine guns to take me into white slavery. what she didnt know is not all romanians are olive skined, most are white

Edited December 24, 2008 by Sinergy

[KHPerfectMatch 1]

Why don't they call them the "Catholic Mafia", Only in Ireland are aggressors labelled Catholic or Protestant, ON OCCASION... but they the media ALWAYS refers to anyone from MENA as "Muslim Terrorists", etc. Except if they are Jews, then they are "Israeli Settlers"... not "Jewish Terrorists", even if they were born in the USA and carry US Passports!

What boggles my mind is that people who know me and interact with me in my consulting business and in my personal life seem to think that at 50 I could change 100% of my personality, behavior, beliefs, and actions because I married someone from another country. I've been Muslim for years, married previously to an Egyptian, but he was a HERE when I married him...... like that makes such a difference ... Why do they have such little faith in my ability to maintain my own standards etc?????

We should remember that these misconceptions cut both ways... I can't imagine all the comments H has had to endure about marrying the "Amrikia".... the misconceptions in Egypt about Americans and life here are almost as bad as American misconceptions about Egypt... well, OK maybe it's worse that Americans think that Egypt is still in the Pharonic Period... or ask me what language they speak there... Egyptian??? And many are actually surprised to learn that Egyptians are Muslims (like Amun Ra is still the MAIN Religious Diety!)

I think it's the duty of us USC's to be "mini-ambassador's" of our SO's homeland and do our best to change the opinion of people who are interested in learning the truth about our SO's homelands. I do alot of interfaith work and find that Americans feel much more comfortable asking me questions about Islam (and Egypt) than they would someone who was from there. And I like to think that when I am a strong, independent, successful business woman AND a MUSLIM, married to someone from "the old country" that I shatter many of their assumptions about Muslim women, American Wives of Egyptians, and hopefully improve their opinion of us.

When I'm in Egypt I do the same thing... I try to change perceptions about Americans and life in America... no it's NOT like the movies you watch.... We don't routinely lock our old people in prisons (nursing homes) we don't kick our children out of the house on their 18th birthday, there aren't gangs, drug dealers and prostitues on every corner... and we don't go naked in the streets... or have sex in public... And no, money doesn't grow on trees..

I think it's rather ironic that many of the problems that exist in MENA countries exist with the blessing and support of the US Government. Egypt's economy has been destroyed by a dictatorship, complete with 20+ years of martial law, that has our FULL SUPPORT. Poverty and oppression create fertile soil for radicalism, and a pletora of social problems. Traditional Arab, Muslim Society and Culture have been under attack by the West for about 100 years... and we are now reaping what we have sown, and we hold them in contempt??? Isn't it ironic..

Edited December 24, 2008 by Karamella

[Courtney08 0]

Let's see.....

4) Previous boss said of my ex-husband "Are you sure he's an arab? He looks like a Jewish lawyer from Miami!" After meeting my husband at a wedding...

5) Nurse in the hospital when I had my son said "You can't put Caucasian on the birth certificate with him having a name like THAT"... (my son had bright blue eyes and light brown hair

Oh heck I could go on forever, but it's too depressing remembering all the junk I've heard in 30 years of being with MENA men and having crazy last names...

Rock on people .... Jewish lawyer from Miami... and you cant put what your child is on that birth certificate that would make SENSE ?

Let's see...

Where is morocco is that in Europe?

Did you ride a camel?

he's only using you for a green card (how many of us have heard that one?)

Hmmmm.... ignorance my boss has worked for big delta for 24 years and she thought that morocco was egypt on the map (no joke i swear i was talking about going to sharm el sheik and she was like ohhh thats morocco right ? while me and a friend were pointing clearly to the country of Egypt)

Yes I have rode a camel why is it such a BIG DEAL ?

The green card screw it man he can have it if thats the only reason he is on this crazy roller coaster ride i'm blind and stupid.

LOL Nawal ... you are funny! I heard that one too ... with me until real bride turns 18 ... and/or until he gets himself together in order to treat like a queen LOL! Then my mum keeps telling my daugther, if they try you marry you off (she's 9) to run away and call her LOOLOLOLOL! (from some story she saw in the TV about this Yemenis girl also 9 being married off to a 70yr old) Also when telling my family about what's going on with my son - their response was that it's cos I'm married to HIM! Jesus is punishing me!

Jeezy creezy i will watch out for that one sounds like something my family would come up with at least this time i will have a pre planned response.

My other favorite, probably specific to the NA part of MENA is "Where is your husband from? " He's from Tunisia "Where is that? " It's in North Africa, you know the northern coast, Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia, Libya, Egypt. "Oh, well if he's from Africa, why isn't he black? " Are you really that stupid?

But I think his favorite are the comments he gets at work about his name. He's got a few people that just call him Joe and others that struggle with his name so instead just kinda gesture to him when they want him. But my favorite is his manager who takes great pleasure in getting on the intercom and paging "JIHAD JIHAAAD to customer service PLEASE" Actually yesterday a guy came in the store that Jihed said he thinks was of Indian descent and looked at Jihed's name tag and said, your name is Jihed? Jihed told him yup that's my name. He said you know it's the same as Jihad, right? Do you know what that means? No it's my name but I've no clue what it means lol.

This is EXACTLY why i started this thread. I need to get on here to see the crazy things that happen so I can say "hey baby you have to hear what i heard from someone else today" I think he has learned more about the ####### I have to hear from hearing me talk about your expericance.

I am so glad to see I am not the only one dealing with not only ignorant people, but family members. My mother practically disowned me when I married Hesam, and now we are still just barely speaking. I think begrudgingly because she wants to see her grandkids (from a previous marriage) for Christmas. You won't believe the email I got from her and my dad and all of the ignorant things they said and links to articles they sent me on middle eastern men to prove their point that he was a bad person. On the flip side, his family has been nothing but welcoming and loving towards me. His father calls me his daughter and tells me I am no different to him than his own children. Now I feel closer to his family than I do my own and I have never even met them in person!

~ Pandora

Sorry, to hear that Pandora but she will come around when she sees your SO isnt going anywhere.

Have another couple "stupid things".

One of Wael's co-workers asked him "what part of Europe is Egypt in?"!! Wael told him "by Norway".

Another co-worker asked him if his family was ok due to the bombings. Wael started to panic thinking he missed the news and Alexandria was bombed. The co-worker was referring to Mumbai.

We should write a book.

I think we are .....

while nessa isn't from mena, i was asked by a co-worker if i was learning spanish now that i'm married to a brazilian

When my hubby first came to states my administrator said "well if the place blows up I'll know who did it" I was dumbfounded and replied. "They send me the retarded terrorist that has the lif goal of blowing up a ####### hole?" "i was jipped".

OMG talk about ROTF LMAO the last one was the cake TOPPPPPPEEEERR for tonight

[Staashi 371]

while nessa isn't from mena, i was asked by a co-worker if i was learning spanish now that i'm married to a brazilian

And I've been asked if we speak portuguese in our home because my husband is from Argentina. Ummmmm nooooo.

I guess we can't expect people to know all things. I have had similar comments as well in reference to my grandmother and cousins from Spain/Argentina and my great grandfather who was born in Puerto Rico. I guess people are very culturally centric to their own lives and experiences. I was raised differently. My grandmother is an amazing woman also a librarian so naturally curious and informed; she always encouraged us to learn, travel and experience all we could. I thank god each day for my Grams.

I hear ya...my mom always said, "Don't love things, love people."