What is the stupidest thing you have heard because your with a MENA SO ?

[SaadBell 0]

"have you seen that movie, not without my daughter?"

I have heard that one, but then I ask, do you really think they would keep Alissa? Than a good laugh for if you know my daughter, I would feel sorry for the people that had to care for her. Alissa is hell fire and she would make their life miserably, they would send her back. Lol The movie would end with a twist; they would not only send her back but pay me to keep her in America. Lol

[childress_london 3]

I am so glad to see I am not the only one dealing with not only ignorant people, but family members. My mother practically disowned me when I married Hesam, and now we are still just barely speaking. I think begrudgingly because she wants to see her grandkids (from a previous marriage) for Christmas. You won't believe the email I got from her and my dad and all of the ignorant things they said and links to articles they sent me on middle eastern men to prove their point that he was a bad person. On the flip side, his family has been nothing but welcoming and loving towards me. His father calls me his daughter and tells me I am no different to him than his own children. Now I feel closer to his family than I do my own and I have never even met them in person!

~ Pandora

[childress_london 3]

And for the movie Not Without My Daughter, I think people miss the whole point. They focus on the abusive husband, when the story is really about an American woman who is strong, independent, intelligent, and persistent. She perseveres through every hardship to save herself and her daughter. To me the story is of her triumph. It is not a story about how Iranian men abuse their wives! People have their heads in the sand if they think there are no abusive men in America.

[star_dragon 0]

And for the movie Not Without My Daughter, I think people miss the whole point. They focus on the abusive husband, when the story is really about an American woman who is strong, independent, intelligent, and persistent. She perseveres through every hardship to save herself and her daughter. To me the story is of her triumph. It is not a story about how Iranian men abuse their wives! People have their heads in the sand if they think there are no abusive men in America.

[~Jackie~ 30]

"What does he eat?" ...like there is a different food group that I'm not aware of

[Y's_habibitk 2]

"What does he eat?" ...like there is a different food group that I'm not aware of

i would say, straight faced and totally serious.....camel.

[JeanneVictoria 55]

Have another couple "stupid things".

One of Wael's co-workers asked him "what part of Europe is Egypt in?"!! Wael told him "by Norway".

Another co-worker asked him if his family was ok due to the bombings. Wael started to panic thinking he missed the news and Alexandria was bombed. The co-worker was referring to Mumbai.

We should write a book.

[Ihavequestions 419]

*pasting some of the tastier ones from emails*

"By their law, you now legally belong to him. He can kill you for disobeying him or he can sell you for money and you could face an even worse fate."

"Please understand that this is their culture and it is bread in him and all of them to do this. The price for a white woman is a high one."

"He may have people watching you and he may be listening to you phone conversations so please be very careful. These men are known for video taping and tapping phone lines and having people follow you etc."

"What ever he tells you is a lie and a manipulation."

The best was one of my friends calling the Embassy and telling them my husband had taken my passport and my life was in danger. She sure did. I know this because the Embassy called me to make sure I was okay.

[caybee 21]

From a classmate, when I came back from visiting my then-fiancé (but she didn't know why I had gone):

"Where did you go?"

"Morocco."

"Ooooooh! Those gorgeous beaches and grand casinos!"

"Uh, no, that would be Monaco."

This woman's husband had recently spent some time in Egypt on business. Bet he knew where Morocco was.

Within a month of my husband's arrival, he started looking for informal soccer games, and the games he found had mostly Spanish-speaking players, some of whom spoke very little English. One of the first to try to speak with him asked him where he was from, and he replied, "Morocco. Marruecos." The player grinned and responded, "Ah! Bin Laden!"

What got me about that exchange was this man had surely dealt with discrimination and disparaging remarks himself, and he was ready to dish it back out to someone else, although I think he was probably just joking. Or else it was just soccer trash talk.

[SaadBell 0]

*pasting some of the tastier ones from emails*

"By their law, you now legally belong to him. He can kill you for disobeying him or he can sell you for money and you could face an even worse fate."

"Please understand that this is their culture and it is bread in him and all of them to do this. The price for a white woman is a high one."

"He may have people watching you and he may be listening to you phone conversations so please be very careful. These men are known for video taping and tapping phone lines and having people follow you etc."

"What ever he tells you is a lie and a manipulation."

The best was one of my friends calling the Embassy and telling them my husband had taken my passport and my life was in danger. She sure did. I know this because the Embassy called me to make sure I was okay.

Sorry but that is too damn funny, you should tell him that his name is really Bond, James Bond, 007. Listening to your phone conversations, for what, the friend calling the Embassy is over the top, damn. I would be nasty and play right in to the game, like I am a double agent and need to have their corporation on this case. Makeup stupid code words and make them repeat them to me, better if they say it loud in a crowd of folks, something like dumbdick.

[tanyakaraman 0]

Some ridiculous comments from my friends & co-workers:

Do they eat turkey in Turkey?

You're not going to change your religion, are you?

Haven't you seen Midnight Express?

He's going to kidnap you and keep you as a slave.

He probably already has another wife or two that he's hiding from you.

...and the prize winner:

Co-worker: How many miles away is Turkey?

Me: About 5,000 miles

Co-worker: Wow, how long does it take you to DRIVE there??

From a classmate, when I came back from visiting my then-fiancé (but she didn't know why I had gone):

"Where did you go?"

"Morocco."

"Ooooooh! Those gorgeous beaches and grand casinos!"

"Uh, no, that would be Monaco."

This woman's husband had recently spent some time in Egypt on business. Bet he knew where Morocco was.

Within a month of my husband's arrival, he started looking for informal soccer games, and the games he found had mostly Spanish-speaking players, some of whom spoke very little English. One of the first to try to speak with him asked him where he was from, and he replied, "Morocco. Marruecos." The player grinned and responded, "Ah! Bin Laden!"

What got me about that exchange was this man had surely dealt with discrimination and disparaging remarks himself, and he was ready to dish it back out to someone else, although I think he was probably just joking. Or else it was just soccer trash talk.

That's hilarious! The Morocco/Monaco mixup...

Edited December 23, 2008 by tanyakaraman

[tanyakaraman 0]

Yes Tamara I totally forgot about that! Everyone is convinced he's Mexican or of Hispanic descent and in the street they try to speak to him in Spanish. We have a large Mexican population in our town and at least a few times a week someone will walk up to him and start speaking in Spanish and he says, "I don't speak Spanish!! I speak English, French and Arabic" So they keep talking and talking (thinking he's hiding the fact that he secretly does speak Spanish ) and so he says " Estoy de Tunisino. Soy arabe " And they give him a major look

Haha Ozzy gets that too...he made his first acquaintance in the US while walking down the street. Some Puerto Rican guy stopped to offer him a ride 'cause he assumed Ozzy was Puerto Rican too.

On the other hand, an acquaintance of my mom's, upon first meeting Ozzy, came up and greeted him with "As-salamu Alaykum" right off the bat....

Then there are my grandparents, who sent Ozzy a book "The True Quran" or something like that as a Christmas gift last year. Apparently its a Christian book written for Muslims that was meant to try to get him to convert.... Such an appropriate gift for someone, right?

[Staashi 371]

I don't mean to offend with my thoughts, but I just wanted to say a few things:

You know I was thinking about it...so many of these things are funny and we say they're the stupidest things, but in reality, many of them have come out of MENA countries or MENA relationships. If you look at various issues that have been raised in Amnesty International or the news regarding MENA these questions are ignorant yet valid. The tough part is that so many people don't take the time to learn about the MENA country good or bad and just assume that because their fiance or spouse says everything is a bed of roses, well then dammit it must be. And I'm not saying the USA is all that and a bag of chips, but some of the points your families have made are actually valid.

There have actually been cases on these MENA boards of women who were scammed - how many women have gotten dumped when their husband has the green card or becomes a USC; there was a woman who found out from the embassy at her husband's K3 interview that he was married to two other women at that present time - and the chick stayed with him!!!!; we just recently had the big discussion on here about Egyptian law and what your husband can legally do to you should you misbehave; the Yemen case did really happen...so, in essence, somebody didn't make sh!t up, it did really happen. You just can't brush it all aside and laugh it off...it might not happen to you, but take it with a grain of salt.

I will also say that when I was in college I had many girlfriends from MENA countries whose parents sent them to my all-women's college to study. In their eyes, they felt very fortunate to be allowed to get an education. It was an honor and a matter of trust bestowed upon them by their parents. Two of them had been circumcised as very young girls and that was my first exposure to learning about that horrid practice. Just think about your little girls being put through that...you might say, "oh never!", but will you always have the say as to what happens to your little girl rather than her grandmothers and aunties and all the other women around who did it too??? Not always.

At the end of the day, I look at how many of you have fallen in love with great guys...you have wonderful relationships, fulfilling lives and love lives, and there is a beauty to it all. But I do want to say, life is not always a bed of roses in MENA countries, nor is it here, but the romanticised version you have in your head from a 3 week visit can be very different than what a woman who was born and raised there has had to deal with her whole life. Just my two cents.

Edited December 23, 2008 by Staashi

[Y's_habibitk 2]

*pasting some of the tastier ones from emails*

"By their law, you now legally belong to him. He can kill you for disobeying him or he can sell you for money and you could face an even worse fate."

"Please understand that this is their culture and it is bread in him and all of them to do this. The price for a white woman is a high one."

"He may have people watching you and he may be listening to you phone conversations so please be very careful. These men are known for video taping and tapping phone lines and having people follow you etc."

"What ever he tells you is a lie and a manipulation."

The best was one of my friends calling the Embassy and telling them my husband had taken my passport and my life was in danger. She sure did. I know this because the Embassy called me to make sure I was okay.

WOW!

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

while nessa isn't from mena, i was asked by a co-worker if i was learning spanish now that i'm married to a brazilian