the perfect mate: what we look for

[Amby 490]

For years, the evolutionary psychologists have been saying that men want young pretty women for their mates and women want older men with money.

This party line was recently underscored when scientists from the University of Gothenburg and the University of Oxford analyzed 400 personal ads in newspapers and Web sites and found that, indeed, men want attractive young women and women want older men with resources. But the big news in this study was that women stated in their ads that they also wanted nice-looking partners.

We eat this stuff up because the biggest mystery in everyone's life is why in the world we are attracted to one person and not another.

Is it the face, body, personality or promises? The evolutionary psychologists claim they have the answer.

It all started with the work of psychologist David Buss of the University of Texas. In 1985, Buss published an article based on interviews with more than 10,000 people from 37 cultures. Subjects were given a list of 18 possible characteristics of a mate and asked to rate those characteristics. Almost universally, both sexes put love, dependable character, emotional stability, and pleasing disposition first, and it wasn't until character number 5 that men and women differed. Men said looks were more important than women did, and status and money were more important to women.

That study and the endless, mind-numbing studies of mate choice that followed all claimed that it must be in our genes for men to want young pretty women and women to want older established men because these result make "evolutionary sense." Young women are more fertile than old women and so they would pass on a man's genes, and men with resources can provide for offspring and improve a woman's reproductive success.

But all these studies are deeply flawed for the simple reason that they ask people what they want in their mates, not what the actually get. And yet evolution only works on what we do, not on what we desire; from an evolutionary standpoint, it's not our ideal that counts, but who we actually make babies with.

For example, George Clooney is my ideal mate. He's rich, popular, and I bet he'd make a great father. Problem is, as far as I know, George is not interested in me. Although I might pencil him in as my ideal mate, the person I got, the person I have a child with, is nothing like George. Instead, he is younger than me, without many resources, and, well look what he got — an older, less than fertile, woman.

And I am not alone is not getting my ideal mate. Do most men end up with young, pretty women? No, people tend to marry mates close to their same age. That's why those rich old guy/young buxom babe marriages are always in the tabloids, because they are so unusual.

And do women always end up with hard working older men? No. Women marry guys their own age and social status and end up working just as hard as men to support a family.

No matter what we might say to researchers, the truth is we all end up mating with people who are interested in us, people we run into, people who happen to look our way. And our "choices," more often than not, make no sense at all.

But I also know that if George Clooney would just glance in my direction, I know he'd see that evolution is pushing him to give me a call.

http://www.livescience.com/culture/081219-...omen-looks.html

[*Robert* 2]

Don't know where to start on this one!

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

Don't know where to start on this one!

ain't that the truth? the writer of the op apparently never visited vj's pi forum.

[*Robert* 2]

Don't know where to start on this one!

ain't that the truth? the writer of the op apparently never visited vj's pi forum.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Nessa 23]

Don't know where to start on this one!

ain't that the truth? the writer of the op apparently never visited vj's pi forum.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

lmao :lol:

[NickD 203]

Don't know where to start on this one!

ain't that the truth? the writer of the op apparently never visited vj's pi forum.

lmao

Perhaps by using the word mate, mating is inferred. Rather basic, but in plumbing and in electrical connections as one example, kind of difficult to plug in either two females or two male connectors together. Ha, met woman that were shocked to hear that pipes and connectors have sex. And a lot easier to plug a male connector into a female one.

Well, since I am a male, a female is my first choice for a mate and of the highest priority. Then finding a female that was interested in mating with a male.

Rather basic, agreed, but a good place to start.

In discussing material wealth when dating my wife, told her I will take her naked, meaning with no possessions to offer, but is still the preferred way, literally.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Why me, Amber?

[Amby 490]

Why me, Amber?

Cos you post stuff like this sometimes No other reason

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

In discussing material wealth when dating my wife, told her I will take her naked, meaning with no possessions to offer, but is still the preferred way, literally.

you sure ain't gonna take her clothed.

[Danno 1,228]

I imagine, most people WOULD take a younger more attractive woman or more well to do guy (who says he has to be older?)......but we end up with (usually) ...with the best deal we can find.

We date this person and fall in love.... hopefully it "sticks".

The law of supply and demand perhaps works even in romance.

-----------

When I put an add at an on-line dating site once, I was stunned at the number of older woman who

wrote me too.

I wonder if woman (American woman) are more inclined to seek a younger guys than woman in other parts of the world?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Why me, Amber?

Cos you post stuff like this sometimes No other reason

Ah, ok.

I remember reading about a study that showed women prefered skinny, scrawny men as husbands, but prefered to have offspring from sleeping with beefy men.

[Amby 490]

Why me, Amber?

Cos you post stuff like this sometimes No other reason

Ah, ok.

I remember reading about a study that showed women prefered skinny, scrawny men as husbands, but prefered to have offspring from sleeping with beefy men.

hmmmm...interesting

[spookyturtle 9,466]

The most important thing I look for in a woman is me.

[Amby 490]

The most important thing I look for in a woman is me.

[justashooter 430]

guilty as charged, we are.