~ waiting ~

[Ta Ta 1]

It is the post xmas pre new years madness. At least it isn't a full moon

Must be

[Afrilaskan Queen 0]

This is a wonderful thread because I truly believe now that having support through this process is important, especially with those sharing the common struggle.

I believe one of the hardest things involved in being separated is going through difficult experiences or seeing your love one suffer as a result of the separation. In the past year alone I saw my Husband lose a family member to death, experience health distresses and a sibling marry. All of these things were things you don't want to go alone through.

One of the worst is seeing others get married and just live together like it should be. When my husband's sibling got married, he helped with everything, then fell into a sadness and over the phone or internet there is so little you can feel you can do, sometimes it's hard to get the one you love to open up but still those times are a reminder that you're apart.

One of the positive things of this though I believe is that when you experience hardship, you work through it together emotionally. You have one of the most important parts of marriage well practiced - communication. You learn so much about each other and have to depend on one another more then ever before. Also for me I'm looking and thinking for ways to keep our love enjoyable and help him to make it through, so it helps to be less selfish and more giving I think.

It's also painful when you're down to your last dime and all you want to do is hear their voice...if you can't touch them. But no matter how you do it it costs a lot to call and it's an endless pit there I think. There are times when it's a bad day and the network is down. The NETWORK, that's definately got it's use in anger management I think especially during the rainy season...lol.

I found myself eating less and less, spending all my extra dimes on calling but when you don't have it you don't and it's hard to wait through that period I think.

[Ta Ta 1]

Welcome aboard the ~waiting~ thread ! I see you have found us

Yes, I can relate to standing afar off when illness and tragedy happen to my SO. His younger brother was killed shortly after I visited and he was devastated. He lost his grand child as she was born. He frequently has Malaria and URI's. All we can do is give it to God and try to comfort them with our words.

[Ta Ta 1]

Have you checked the rates at pingo.com, noblecom.com and tel3advantage.com ?

We can't find anything under about 29 C per minute for S/L but Nigeria has cheaper rates. Check the web sites and see if you get it cheaper there.

I don't like hidden fee cards and the above are all in true minutes. PM me if you find a cheaper rate for free referral minutes.

[Ta Ta 1]

To your question in the other thread about what is it like in Sierra Leone .........well the UN has given it a place on the bottom of the pole from all other countries statistically.

It has emerged in 2003 from a brutal decade long war and its infrastructure is very inadequate and proper medical care and decent meds non existing.

Child soldiers are being rehabilitated though and attempts to get tourists to the many beautiful beaches are in the making.

The people are wonderful and tired of strife and violence and just want to live their lives in peace.

Sierra Leone has great potential to prosper as a tourist haven some day.

[Afrilaskan Queen 0]

Hey there Omoba I'm in the right thread now I think. So you were going to mention what Sierra Lione [sp?] was like. I'm at work so I may pop out quite a lot today but your story is something else. Your husband looks kind in your pics and you look happy. It sounds like you too are facing all the financial pressures of immigration. The cost of getting a visit in is huge, the phone costs are huge, the legal/immigration fees are huge.

You know I was really thinking of your 18-24 month separation, I cannot imagine how you felt when you heard those words. When we were denied our visa I had someone say to me miracles can still happen and you never know how God will act. I proceeded to explain why it was going to take forever because there was this step and that step...Yet...

As the adage goes the one constant is change. One day may seem hopeless and the next something completely alters the course you've been on. You are standing by the person you love, love is very powerful. Love finds a way. ~ cheers ~

[Ta Ta 1]

Hey there Omoba I'm in the right thread now I think. So you were going to mention what Sierra Lione [sp?] was like. I'm at work so I may pop out quite a lot today but your story is something else. Your husband looks kind in your pics and you look happy. It sounds like you too are facing all the financial pressures of immigration. The cost of getting a visit in is huge, the phone costs are huge, the legal/immigration fees are huge.

You know I was really thinking of your 18-24 month separation, I cannot imagine how you felt when you heard those words. When we were denied our visa I had someone say to me miracles can still happen and you never know how God will act. I proceeded to explain why it was going to take forever because there was this step and that step...Yet...

As the adage goes the one constant is change. One day may seem hopeless and the next something completely alters the course you've been on. You are standing by the person you love, love is very powerful. Love finds a way. ~ cheers ~

The post above yours answers your Sierra Leone question.

Actually the 18-24 months I was talking about in the other thread is the time length for a FOIA ( Freedom of Information Act ) report that we were discussing in another thread.

The waiver we are filing will be adjudicated in about 12 months or so.

We met in 2005, so it has been a 3 1/2 year journey for us with another year ( ? ) to go.........may God shorten it.

Last time I saw my SO was 8 month ago and I plan to visit this spring.

[Afrilaskan Queen 0]

Wow Sylvia, I really can feel the pain in your post. You expressed so many feelings I too have. How can someone hold your life and future in their hands, one person after just a few minutes gather enough information to impact your life for years! I too agree that there is an arrogance about this country. I really connected to your post. When Omoba talked about losing interest in planning a wedding - bingo there. We had family up different states awaiting the welcome home party/US wedding. Now those fun things to plan just seem useless and all the energy was zapped into how do we solve this problem of being together. Hang in there and thanks for your post!

[Afrilaskan Queen 0]

Oh my gosh Omoba, I really can imagine what you've been going through and I wonder if you sleep alright - like me I feel I'm puzzle solving all night and tossing and turning. I have seen my husband with malaria as well. I'm so sorry about the tragedies your family has experienced, since you began back in 05 - you've really had to bear much. You will appreciate togetherness more then most people. You will value things that others don't see. This will give you greater happiness I think, because people really don't realize what makes them happy anymore in a relationship - they lose site of what's important. Thanks for sharing.

[Afrilaskan Queen 0]

Congratulations I'm so happy you get to go visit your SO [what does that stand for?? I read it all over here] ! How do you visit and leave again? I've not touched or seen my husband in 2 years and 2009 I'm finally able to go see him. How do you cope separating again and again? I really believe something will happen to shorten this year your facing, I've seen it happen back and forth in my own case - that's the frustration the constant back and forth back and forth for me. We're awaiting info on our review, I wonder how long they review it for. Then the approved I-130, I looked at your links. I just wonder what they'll put him through in another interview. I'm so proud of him, even though it was so hard what he went through there he always reacts calmly and with graciousness.

So what is the first thing you can't wait to do with your fiance? I thought you had married but I think I didn't look carefully enough before. I had posted on another post about how your planning the wedding energy has turned into a zap out. I 'hear hear hear' you there. When he's here you'll be filled with lots of energy I'm certain!

[Ta Ta 1]

SO = Significant other.

[Afrilaskan Queen 0]

Hi Kelly - I can feel your hurt! If you need a lawyer and cannot afford it - I don't know anything about this much because my lawyer isn't costly and so I was able to just pay them. But I have heard of non profit organizations that help one I most of is : http://www.americanfamiliesunited.org , I don't know what they do exactly. I am not sure what's involved with this either but I've heard of various relgious organizations that help with costs of immigrants. I also noticed in the news people who are working hard to ask Obama for help for families separated by immigration.

Hang in there!

[Ta Ta 1]

Eventually I need to go to work today but it still seems like a holiday to me...............

[Ta Ta 1]

hey Adama, I see you down there .......hope you had a blessed Christmas.

[JIM & A.D. 0]

Yes, it was lovely. I had a good time with family , friends and some in-laws I just got back today. Good thing i didn't have to work today so i just took care of stuff at home. I can still use some more off days though, just all to myself.

Hope you all had a good Christmas. I was just trying to catch up on some of the post before i turn in for the night.

I see we have a new member. Welcome to VJ Afrilaskan Queen, This is an awesome site with lots of good help. Wishing you all the best on your journey.