~ waiting ~

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

I just want to wrap my arms around y'all and hug you. I haven't even started the journey yet - filing next week. I can't even imagine what ur journeys have been like on you emotionally and psychologically. I consider myself a strong person (my past marriages have taken me to hell and back a few times), but the things y'all have been through would probably knock me down.

[kelly1290 0]

Syliva, everything you describe is exactly how I think and feel. Nothing on here means anything when you have made the journey and get slapped back down. The thing that is really angering me is that they found not one ounce of fraud in my husband's background which is why they are to deny a visa. They denied him because his mother refused to answer questions because the embassy official refused to identify herself. They got a successful interview with his brother confirming our marriage. Is there more weight in a what a mother knows than a brother? I just don't get it. The only thing they should deny for is finding a wife and kids or is a terrorist. I hope once our petition makes it back to USCIS that they find this ridiculous and they send it right back with a recommendation to give my husband a visa. It may take another 6 months to a year or more for us to make a rebuttal to the consular officer's thoughts. I am married to my husband who I was intelligent enough to take my time getting to know and investigated him myself to the best of my ability. I have the right as an American to marry anyone I choose and this man is my family, and they are telling me because his mother wouldn't answer some questions, he is not welcome in my country? How messed up is that? This should be my choice to make, not the embassy's. I am sorry for going on and on, but I have gone from devastated to outright angry

I was married for 22 years before my present husband. This husband saw fit to hit me, beat me, and stomp me in the face for years and years. Now I have someone who has respect for me, shows plenty of love toward me, and treats me very kindly, and now because someone doesn't answer some questions, I am not allowed to live my life with my husband? We followed all their rules and did everything by the book. He answered every question about me 100% correct at the first interview, but because there is an age difference, he couldn't possibly love me, he could only be scamming me because that is what they come across often, but that doesn't mean EVERYONE is like that. I am intelligent enough to know what scammers are about and the tactics they use. My husband does not fit into that category at all. I better quit before this becomes a novel, but I just had to get it off my chest.

Thank you Sylvia ......you hit the nail on the head ! It goes from plan A to plan B and then some.......

But when you first get the news it's like you've been hit over the head with a two by four.

You are confused, disoriented and wonder what the heck just happened. You feel you are stuck in a nightmare.

Later you regroup, focus and analyze your options..........once you even know what they are in the first place.

The pain fades though it never goes away. I can't tell you how many wedding plans I made and now I lost all joy to even plan them anymore.

It's whatever.....just get here ! Then and only then can we exhale .......for now it is waiting to exhale......I'm turning blue

There is no way to know the pain of this if you haven't been there. You loose interest in time lines on here. Things that gave you hope become absurd. I cried to the point my oldest son wanted to help me figure out how to move there. You look for answers, file complaints, send emails and make phone calls. Then you learn how little these agencies really respond. I got my best response from my employer who took a report on the embassy actions and filed a complaint. I just hope that someday this is just a story of how we got together although at times it doesn't seem like it. So many what ifs fly through my head that at time I need to sort through them to see if any/all of them are still viable. You see couples pass right through the process and then return to say that they really don't want to be together and you wonder why they throw away a life you aren't even getting a chance to start. You look at the patterns and see how biased and unfair it is. That certain places the US government puts you through hell to be together and others they let you visit and come with no hassles. From it you learn more about how the government really behaves in other places and you come to understand why we are thought of as arrogant snobs. It is highly educational in a very sad way.

[Ta Ta 1]

I agree Kelly, that the only reason for ineligibility should be for national security or if fraud evidence is discovered.

They need to stop playing around and produce evidence of why, what and how as per their own regulations and memos and not try to readjudicate the case by recommending to revoke. Then there needs to be transparency to the petitioner and a chance for rebuttal with whatever they have an issue with and that should be so in a reasonable time frame and not take months, years or never as frequently happens.

Government regulations, the way the system was meant to work is a far cry from reality, not just in immigration cases but in general.

Their are no checks and balances and often too much control is left to the interviewing CO. A lot do a great job but geez, a lot do not and are on a power trip. Why should an investigator expect to get an answer if they don't introduce themselves ? That is very snobish and assumptious and in my opinion reflects badly on our country and shows great disrespect to the people in the foreign country. Who in their right mind would answer a strangers questions ? Would they ? Heck no ! It is just plain wrong.

Got proof ? Give it to me. Don't have proof ? Issue the visa. Stop playing stupid so called ' intuition games ' with peoples lives that have nothing to do with regulations on how to conduct an interview and investigation.

But don't give up hope, you still have a chance to get it overturned.

Now I am all riled up

[Ta Ta 1]

I just want to wrap my arms around y'all and hug you. I haven't even started the journey yet - filing next week. I can't even imagine what ur journeys have been like on you emotionally and psychologically. I consider myself a strong person (my past marriages have taken me to hell and back a few times), but the things y'all have been through would probably knock me down.

Thank you for the hug and understanding, much appreciated Yes, we get knocked down but keep getting up.

That in itself should tell them something, we are still here.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

I agree Kelly, that the only reason for ineligibility should be for national security or if fraud evidence is discovered.

They need to stop playing around and produce evidence of why, what and how as per their own regulations and memos and not try to readjudicate the case by recommending to revoke. Then there needs to be transparency to the petitioner and a chance for rebuttal with whatever they have an issue with and that should be so in a reasonable time frame and not take months, years or never as frequently happens.

Government regulations, the way the system was meant to work is a far cry from reality, not just in immigration cases but in general.

Their are no checks and balances and often too much control is left to the interviewing CO. A lot do a great job but geez, a lot do not and are on a power trip. Why should an investigator expect to get an answer if they don't introduce themselves ? That is very snobish and assumptious and in my opinion reflects badly on our country and shows great disrespect to the people in the foreign country. Who in their right mind would answer a strangers questions ? Would they ? Heck no ! It is just plain wrong.

Got proof ? Give it to me. Don't have proof ? Issue the visa. Stop playing stupid so called ' intuition games ' with peoples lives that have nothing to do with regulations on how to conduct an interview and investigation.

But don't give up hope, you still have a chance to get it overturned.

Now I am all riled up

To me it seems much worse. All the evils of this country 200 years ago are alive and well in the immigration process. Woman have a harder time getting their partners here. Black men are given harder interviews than whites. Couple where the woman is older than the man are going to face more issues while old men that want to marry someone the age of their children get patted on the back. The countries that can use the visa wavier program are white countries so they are not separated the way we are. The process is no way fair or equal. I am actually ashamed of the way the embassy behaves. It is supposed to be the face of America in these countries and it just confirms how unequal our government treats others. When I was in Nigeria every one was hoping that our new president will have a cleaning effect on the evils of the embassies. They look for hope that they will get permission to visit family members, that they Will be treated fairly during their interviews. It will take more than a new man in the White House to turn the corruption around.

[Ta Ta 1]

Some great lyrics from a cool Akon song............for my sisters in ~ waiting ~

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

I am a bit more old school maybe because I am i old

Someday

[Ta Ta 1]

I am a bit more old school maybe because I am i old

Someday

To old school

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

I am a bit more old school maybe because I am i old

Someday

To old school

Maybe we can get the subbie waiting choir singing it

some day we will be together ...........

[Ta Ta 1]

you crack me up .........

[babynursetobe 0]

Hi All............I'm not in Ap or anything like that, but my SO is from Africa and I am waiting just like everyone else. Its been almost a year since I've been with my husband and this waiting is getting harder and harder each day that passes. I know that there are many that have been waiting much than I, but doesn't make my process any easier. Just looking for a little support I guess.......

~Michelle

[Ta Ta 1]

Hi All............I'm not in Ap or anything like that, but my SO is from Africa and I am waiting just like everyone else. Its been almost a year since I've been with my husband and this waiting is getting harder and harder each day that passes. I know that there are many that have been waiting much than I, but doesn't make my process any easier. Just looking for a little support I guess.......

~Michelle

Welcome to the waiting thread Michelle.

We are here to support each other.

[babynursetobe 0]

Hi All............I'm not in Ap or anything like that, but my SO is from Africa and I am waiting just like everyone else. Its been almost a year since I've been with my husband and this waiting is getting harder and harder each day that passes. I know that there are many that have been waiting much than I, but doesn't make my process any easier. Just looking for a little support I guess.......

~Michelle

Welcome to the waiting thread Michelle.

We are here to support each other.

Thanks a bunch!

[Ta Ta 1]

It's busy here tonight in sub-saharan........ and it's a weekend !

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

It is the post xmas pre new years madness. At least it isn't a full moon