~ waiting ~

[ForeverAmen 0]

I too had a delay in my SO's arrival. However, I dare not say that I know how any of you are feeling. Nevertheless, I can imagine the hurt and disappointment. During our seperation period, my husband and I constantly reminded each other, that the turbulance of immigration was simply helping to create the foundation of our relationship. Perhaps you are wondering 'what foundation'? Your sad, hurt, dissapointed and perhaps some of you may have lost faith in our immigration system. To that I say this ... try your absolute best to view your seperation period as the building of your relationships foundation. Once your spouse arrives, a whole new set of challenges will form. When these challenges arrives, perhaps you will be able to look back on times like this and say to yourself, 'if we were able to make it through then, while being oceans apart, then this too shall pass.'

Omoba, kelly1290, WhidbeyGirl, Sylvia, and others I may have overlooked ... I hope my message will bring some form of comfort. Remember that when God decrees a thing, it shall be done.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Boaz

[Ta Ta 1]

I too had a delay in my SO's arrival. However, I dare not say that I know how any of you are feeling. Nevertheless, I can imagine the hurt and disappointment. During our seperation period, my husband and I constantly reminded each other, that the turbulance of immigration was simply helping to create the foundation of our relationship. Perhaps you are wondering 'what foundation'? Your sad, hurt, dissapointed and perhaps some of you may have lost faith in our immigration system. To that I say this ... try your absolute best to view your seperation period as the building of your relationships foundation. Once your spouse arrives, a whole new set of challenges will form. When these challenges arrives, perhaps you will be able to look back on times like this and say to yourself, 'if we were able to make it through then, while being oceans apart, then this too shall pass.'

Omoba, kelly1290, WhidbeyGirl, Sylvia, and others I may have overlooked ... I hope my message will bring some form of comfort. Remember that when God decrees a thing, it shall be done.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Boaz

Well said Boaz and I do find comfort in your words. Sometimes this rough immigration storm will make or break a relationship.

Though worlds apart, we are getting closer emotionally through it all. That does make it even harder to think what if he will never be approved.....then I remind myself to not doubt and stand in faith and hold on to hope.

But our life and destiny is in God's hand and whatever He allows has a purpose and reason. I will submit to that.

[Ta Ta 1]

May God increase our finances in this new year so we can fly over and spend more time together and finish this expensive journey !

[Ta Ta 1]

[JIM & A.D. 0]

May God increase our finances in this new year so we can fly over and spend more time together and finish this expensive journey !

Yes, Amen !!

[Ta Ta 1]

May God increase our finances in this new year so we can fly over and spend more time together and finish this expensive journey !

Yes, Amen !!

I see you changed your profile pic....very cute....

I just saw this morning that they make ticker T- shirts.

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

May God increase our finances in this new year so we can fly over and spend more time together and finish this expensive journey !

Yes, Amen !!

I see you changed your profile pic....very cute....

I just saw this morning that they make ticker T- shirts.

Your new pic is nice too

[kelly1290 0]

Yes, Omoba, it hurts like hell and it hurts even more trying to figure out what to do from here. I do appreciate each and every link you provided me. Your extra work to help me is so appreciated. Some of it was extremely helpful. I am pretty sure I cannot afford to get a lawyer to help me with this, so I am going to have to figure out what to do on my own as I have through this whole process. Reading and researching on VJ has been more than helpful. We would have made so many mistakes if I had not done this, and even with me being so meticulous, it still didn't work out. Apparently, parent's opinions or comments about their son's marriage hold a lot of weight because that was the reason for their denial even though they had a full interview with his brother who confirmed our marriage and who I was.

Sylvia and others that have extended your best wishes, I really appreciate it. After the dust settles, my husband and I will sit and discuss what would be best for us to do. I have already spent thousands of dollars on 3 trips to Nigeria, visas for myself, the price of the petitions, price of his visa, any expenses related to immigration. I just can't do too much more. I still have my son to take care of. My daughters are all living on their own, but I know I can't afford lawyers. At this point, I don't know what to do or which way to turn.

I wish everyone Happy Holidays!

Deb

Hello VJ Members,

I sadly have to inform you that my husband was denied his visa today on the basis that his mother refused to answer the investigating officers questions about our marriage. She did not answer the lady's questions because the officer did not identify herself as am embassy official and the officer was asked at least twice to identify herself and she would not. She only told my mother-in-law to answer her questions, so my MIL told her no she would not. My husband's brother was interviewed by this same woman who did answer her questions and said yes, his brother was married to a lady from the United States. He was asked why the neighbors didn't know of the marriage and he told her that they don't shout family business in the streets. The fact of the matter is that we were married in Abuja and not Lagos, so neighbors wouldn't be aware that we were married. I have contacted my congressman and I have spoken with Department of State. Department of State told me to call them tomorrow as the embassy has not updated the computer. I wanted to lodge a complaint as that is not a good reason to deny a visa, especially when you had a successful interview with another family member who said yes, he was married. If anyone else has any suggestions as to what else I can do, please feel free. I can use all the help I can get.

Thanks,

Deb

So sorry Deb, I know you are hurting

Another prime example of a CO's influence to deny without any reason whatsoever.

I will link you up with what you can do next. Hang on !

Edited December 23, 2008 by kelly1290

[Ta Ta 1]

I am hurting for you Kelly. Hang in there. Things will become clearer as time goes on. I hope a free consult from different attorneys will help point you in the right direction.

[JIM & A.D. 0]

May God increase our finances in this new year so we can fly over and spend more time together and finish this expensive journey !

Yes, Amen !!

I see you changed your profile pic....very cute....

I just saw this morning that they make ticker T- shirts.

Thank you. wow, ticker T-shirts. I'll like to see that. Where did u see it at ?

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

It is unimaginable the pain that you go through when this happens. You have made plans because in your heart you know things are honest between you. I had a wedding and camping trips lined up. We were doing vegas for the wedding so there was no money lost as the dress sits in the closet. The camping can be rearranged. But that is not what you see when youget "THE NEWS" Then there is the spiral after. Mine was probably a bit bigger than some , His father suffered a massive heart attack right after getting "THE NEWS" and died. My blood pressure got so low that I was in the hospital with chest pains. My oldest son was hit on the freeway and totalled his car. My daughter totalled her car in a separate acciddent. Neither child had been in an accident before and they both happened within 5 weeks of "THE NEWS". The drama even affeted my oldest grandson who ended up in a childerns mental hospital. Life does settle down and things go on. It does put your plans on hold. With me it put other things into motion. The death of his father has put much more on both our plates and has given us a time line that we know will hold true. I wish I could say the same about us being together here. But we have new timelines. New plans. Plan A to get him here on a K1 , plan B to marry in a year if plan A doesn't work out. Plan B2 to live there and raise awareness of embassy corruption if the first plans don't work out. Take a deep breath , a long walk, a big drink whatever you do when life kicks you in the knees. Next week will come and so will next month and next year. If you are truely commited to each other then welcome to the "club" of the timelineless lovers were the common goal is to be together no matter what some pig headed consular officer has to say.

Yes, Omoba, it hurts like hell and it hurts even more trying to figure out what to do from here. I do appreciate each and every link you provided me. Your extra work to help me is so appreciated. Some of it was extremely helpful. I am pretty sure I cannot afford to get a lawyer to help me with this, so I am going to have to figure out what to do on my own as I have through this whole process. Reading and researching on VJ has been more than helpful. We would have made so many mistakes if I had not done this, and even with me being so meticulous, it still didn't work out. Apparently, parent's opinions or comments about their son's marriage hold a lot of weight because that was the reason for their denial even though they had a full interview with his brother who confirmed our marriage and who I was.

Sylvia and others that have extended your best wishes, I really appreciate it. After the dust settles, my husband and I will sit and discuss what would be best for us to do. I have already spent thousands of dollars on 3 trips to Nigeria, visas for myself, the price of the petitions, price of his visa, any expenses related to immigration. I just can't do too much more. I still have my son to take care of. My daughters are all living on their own, but I know I can't afford lawyers. At this point, I don't know what to do or which way to turn.

I wish everyone Happy Holidays!

Deb

Hello VJ Members,

I sadly have to inform you that my husband was denied his visa today on the basis that his mother refused to answer the investigating officers questions about our marriage. She did not answer the lady's questions because the officer did not identify herself as am embassy official and the officer was asked at least twice to identify herself and she would not. She only told my mother-in-law to answer her questions, so my MIL told her no she would not. My husband's brother was interviewed by this same woman who did answer her questions and said yes, his brother was married to a lady from the United States. He was asked why the neighbors didn't know of the marriage and he told her that they don't shout family business in the streets. The fact of the matter is that we were married in Abuja and not Lagos, so neighbors wouldn't be aware that we were married. I have contacted my congressman and I have spoken with Department of State. Department of State told me to call them tomorrow as the embassy has not updated the computer. I wanted to lodge a complaint as that is not a good reason to deny a visa, especially when you had a successful interview with another family member who said yes, he was married. If anyone else has any suggestions as to what else I can do, please feel free. I can use all the help I can get.

Thanks,

Deb

So sorry Deb, I know you are hurting

Another prime example of a CO's influence to deny without any reason whatsoever.

I will link you up with what you can do next. Hang on !

[Ta Ta 1]

May God increase our finances in this new year so we can fly over and spend more time together and finish this expensive journey !

Yes, Amen !!

I see you changed your profile pic....very cute....

I just saw this morning that they make ticker T- shirts.

Your new pic is nice too

Thanks WG.

[Ta Ta 1]

May God increase our finances in this new year so we can fly over and spend more time together and finish this expensive journey !

Yes, Amen !!

I see you changed your profile pic....very cute....

I just saw this morning that they make ticker T- shirts.

Thank you. wow, ticker T-shirts. I'll like to see that. Where did u see it at ?

On Good Morning America I think, I will google it tonight. They have a web site and you change the date with velcro numbers

[Ta Ta 1]

It is unimaginable the pain that you go through when this happens. You have made plans because in your heart you know things are honest between you. I had a wedding and camping trips lined up. We were doing vegas for the wedding so there was no money lost as the dress sits in the closet. The camping can be rearranged. But that is not what you see when youget "THE NEWS" Then there is the spiral after. Mine was probably a bit bigger than some , His father suffered a massive heart attack right after getting "THE NEWS" and died. My blood pressure got so low that I was in the hospital with chest pains. My oldest son was hit on the freeway and totalled his car. My daughter totalled her car in a separate acciddent. Neither child had been in an accident before and they both happened within 5 weeks of "THE NEWS". The drama even affeted my oldest grandson who ended up in a childerns mental hospital. Life does settle down and things go on. It does put your plans on hold. With me it put other things into motion. The death of his father has put much more on both our plates and has given us a time line that we know will hold true. I wish I could say the same about us being together here. But we have new timelines. New plans. Plan A to get him here on a K1 , plan B to marry in a year if plan A doesn't work out. Plan B2 to live there and raise awareness of embassy corruption if the first plans don't work out. Take a deep breath , a long walk, a big drink whatever you do when life kicks you in the knees. Next week will come and so will next month and next year. If you are truely commited to each other then welcome to the "club" of the timelineless lovers were the common goal is to be together no matter what some pig headed consular officer has to say.

Yes, Omoba, it hurts like hell and it hurts even more trying to figure out what to do from here. I do appreciate each and every link you provided me. Your extra work to help me is so appreciated. Some of it was extremely helpful. I am pretty sure I cannot afford to get a lawyer to help me with this, so I am going to have to figure out what to do on my own as I have through this whole process. Reading and researching on VJ has been more than helpful. We would have made so many mistakes if I had not done this, and even with me being so meticulous, it still didn't work out. Apparently, parent's opinions or comments about their son's marriage hold a lot of weight because that was the reason for their denial even though they had a full interview with his brother who confirmed our marriage and who I was.

Sylvia and others that have extended your best wishes, I really appreciate it. After the dust settles, my husband and I will sit and discuss what would be best for us to do. I have already spent thousands of dollars on 3 trips to Nigeria, visas for myself, the price of the petitions, price of his visa, any expenses related to immigration. I just can't do too much more. I still have my son to take care of. My daughters are all living on their own, but I know I can't afford lawyers. At this point, I don't know what to do or which way to turn.

I wish everyone Happy Holidays!

Deb

Hello VJ Members,

I sadly have to inform you that my husband was denied his visa today on the basis that his mother refused to answer the investigating officers questions about our marriage. She did not answer the lady's questions because the officer did not identify herself as am embassy official and the officer was asked at least twice to identify herself and she would not. She only told my mother-in-law to answer her questions, so my MIL told her no she would not. My husband's brother was interviewed by this same woman who did answer her questions and said yes, his brother was married to a lady from the United States. He was asked why the neighbors didn't know of the marriage and he told her that they don't shout family business in the streets. The fact of the matter is that we were married in Abuja and not Lagos, so neighbors wouldn't be aware that we were married. I have contacted my congressman and I have spoken with Department of State. Department of State told me to call them tomorrow as the embassy has not updated the computer. I wanted to lodge a complaint as that is not a good reason to deny a visa, especially when you had a successful interview with another family member who said yes, he was married. If anyone else has any suggestions as to what else I can do, please feel free. I can use all the help I can get.

Thanks,

Deb

So sorry Deb, I know you are hurting

Another prime example of a CO's influence to deny without any reason whatsoever.

I will link you up with what you can do next. Hang on !

Thank you Sylvia ......you hit the nail on the head ! It goes from plan A to plan B and then some.......

But when you first get the news it's like you've been hit over the head with a two by four.

You are confused, disoriented and wonder what the heck just happened. You feel you are stuck in a nightmare.

Later you regroup, focus and analyze your options..........once you even know what they are in the first place.

The pain fades though it never goes away. I can't tell you how many wedding plans I made and now I lost all joy to even plan them anymore.

It's whatever.....just get here ! Then and only then can we exhale .......for now it is waiting to exhale......I'm turning blue

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

Thank you Sylvia ......you hit the nail on the head ! It goes from plan A to plan B and then some.......

But when you first get the news it's like you've been hit over the head with a two by four.

You are confused, disoriented and wonder what the heck just happened. You feel you are stuck in a nightmare.

Later you regroup, focus and analyze your options..........once you even know what they are in the first place.

The pain fades though it never goes away. I can't tell you how many wedding plans I made and now I lost all joy to even plan them anymore.

It's whatever.....just get here ! Then and only then can we exhale .......for now it is waiting to exhale......I'm turning blue

There is no way to know the pain of this if you haven't been there. You loose interest in time lines on here. Things that gave you hope become absurd. I cried to the point my oldest son wanted to help me figure out how to move there. You look for answers, file complaints, send emails and make phone calls. Then you learn how little these agencies really respond. I got my best response from my employer who took a report on the embassy actions and filed a complaint. I just hope that someday this is just a story of how we got together although at times it doesn't seem like it. So many what ifs fly through my head that at time I need to sort through them to see if any/all of them are still viable. You see couples pass right through the process and then return to say that they really don't want to be together and you wonder why they throw away a life you aren't even getting a chance to start. You look at the patterns and see how biased and unfair it is. That certain places the US government puts you through hell to be together and others they let you visit and come with no hassles. From it you learn more about how the government really behaves in other places and you come to understand why we are thought of as arrogant snobs. It is highly educational in a very sad way.