Missing FIANCE!!!!

[Derbys12 0]

Hi folks just a short message really....... I met Sue a month ago now in the states when i went to stay there, we had the most fantastic time ever!. While i was there i proposed in a Beautiful Location in Indiana and of course she said yes!.

Anyways onto my main point since i came back my life just isn't the same..... , i don't know what i'm doing half the time , i feel i don't fit in anymore and we are missing each other so damn much!!!, we are constantly on the internet and phone each other 4 times a day......... , But it just isn't enough!!..

How do all you people cope?!, my divorce here is nearly done, Sues won't be long , then we can apply for K1 at last!.

But how do we cope with the missing each other part?!!!...... some days it really tears us apart!, we have been planning wedding, and house and kids and stuff to try make things easier!.

Any advice Truly welcome Please!!!!..

Thanks folks and GodBless!!.... Love Youy Sue!!

[rebeccajo 14]

You say you are making plans and frankly we always found that to be one of the best things to do. One of the things we used to do (that never materialized - LOL) was plan a medival style wedding. We used to look at wedding clothes on all the costume sites! I think it really doesn't matter if something you 'plan' never comes to pass - as long as you are dreaming together.

We spent a lot of time on the phone - that's normal I think. Sometimes (especially as we got closer to the interview and finally being reunited) we would both lie down and fall asleep on the phone! I've known other members here to say they've done the same thing - it sort of feels like being cuddled up together.

Sometimes we would take photos of an event we had been to that day and email them to the other. He took pics of parades in Derry and sent them to me. There is a tree in our backyard, and after he had been here for his first visit in the dead of winter, I would send him pictures of it as it first began to get leaves, then as it flowered. You can use mobile phones the same way - there were a couple of occasions where I rang him while my son and the band were playing. I would hold the phone up so he could hear them as they performed.

Also do either of you have a visit planned anytime soon? For me personally, I always found it easier to bear the distance if I had an actual date when I would see him again.

Also - remember this - as the song says - hold on loosely, but don't let go! It's so worth it in the end.

Edited June 7, 2006 by rebeccajo

[TracyTN 237]

I agree with Becca. It helps us tremendously to have things to 'look forward to', like an upcoming visit, etc. And we would die without having our webcam and Skype sessions nightly. They REALLY help us stay connected (and are totally free!). It helps to see that other person's face and hear their voice when you are telling how your day went. Its very comforting and also helps to have a 'routine' together.

Its not easy - trust me I know. A little over 2 years of a LDR has really tested our mettle, but I'm glad to say we're passing with flying colors.

If its worth it to both of you, then you'll make it!

[Jenn! 918]

Thank goodness. From your topic title, for some reason I thought she was missing as in she disappeared!

Maybe that will help you with missing her. Look on the bright side, at least she's not missing!

[jackieandkathy 0]

Great to know someone is sharing the feelings here!

I have been doing long distance with my boyfriend for 5 years ... (and now we are planning to get married and apply for K1).

The first time we separated from each others was really not an easy thing for both of us. I remember that I just cried and thought of him every single moment .... sad !

I just think that it is a good time for me to learn to be independent (and it's true that we cant count on each others for every single second !) and it's also time for both of us to learn how to cherish this relationship and see how "true" this relationship is. So, think positive and tell yourself that what you are doing right now is paving the way for your better future !!

btw ... do you have skype or internet phone ? we set up the cameras and do skype everyday. Besides, we would try to be at home in weekends, so that we could have more chances to talk. We just turn on the cameras for continuously several hours even if we are not chatting. Just keep it on !

Besides, can you guys share with each others some photos taken in childhood ? Try to get some and to know more about each others in this period ... You will just find out that you guys will share a lot of common things in the childhood and it's very sweet to see things like that. I am sure that you will love Sue more when you meet her next time !!

Dont be sad !! Be strong !!

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Hey Kev! You know a bit of our story, and how long it has been since we originally filed. The day when we were in your shoes, I felt the same, how do you cope and get through this? A year and a half later, I can't really answer that but I can say we did it and are still doing it.

As I have told you before, and I see Becca has mentioned set those dates and goals and try your damndest to focus on them. This journey isn't an easy one, but it can be done. Rely on each others strengths and love because without that you have nothing.

A thought I always used for myself was that even being apart from Tim, I was still happier than I had ever been in my life and that he was so worth the wait. Something he always seemed to use to get him through was that if we didn't feel like we did the process wouldn't be worth it.

Similiar to Rebecca, we have actually watched one another fall asleep through our webcams, I have sat and listened to his breathing get heavy and then turn into a snore, laughable but it made me feel closer to him. I have done the most ridiculous of things, like taking pictures of my dinner plate, or putting my freshly painted toe nails up to the webcam. I have even placed the webcam in the window so that he could watch me garden. If you don't already have it download Hello, or use Msn to share your photos, you can both look at them at the same time and if using voice on top of that you can laugh, cry, or discuss them. I think anything you do to allow the other to share in your day to day life, will help. No matter how simple or silly it seems share it! Looking back I would much rather have him laughing at me for showing him something stupid than to have him crying because he missed me. Tears wont get you through it, they are good to share and express with one another occasionally so that the other knows how much you miss and love them, but more importantly expressing the happiness you bring to one anothers life is what will get you through.

Bethanie

[TracyTN 237]

Great to know someone is sharing the feelings here!

I have been doing long distance with my boyfriend for 5 years ... (and now we are planning to get married and apply for K1).

Erm not to be picky, but I hope you know if you get married and then tackle US immigration, you'd have to apply for the K3 and not the K1. K1 is only for fiance/e's.

/off topic

[ajames79 0]

Boy do I know how you feel!

As others have said it is helpful to plan things. Keep busy with what you will be doing for your next visit, or what you might like in your future home!

Right now Chris and I are planning (as much as you can with a K-1) a wedding. I might be a little insane with the details cause I AM A GIRL! But I am having fun.

I break down. Normally once a month in private on my own. I become a little bit of a hermit planning my evenings around talking on Skype and the phone...But it wont be like this forever.

I know for Chris...who is in Yorkshire very close to Derbyshire as a matter of fact....simply looks at his daily tasks as one day closer to being together...one more buck to help us on our way.

Continued luck on your plans. Trust me we know how you feel and you will be stronger for it I think!!

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I think we have all been there! I know that we both tried to keep busy with our lives when we weren't on the phone or the internet with each other and that helped as well because we weren't sitting around focusing on how much we missed each other. One of the sweetest memories I have of what we did was to have Sunday breakfast together on the phone. He would sit on his back patio with music playing and I would be in my kitchen and we would eat and talk and chat as if we were actually together. Funny, but it helped and we always had that 'special' time no matter how busy we were with anything else.

Good luck, and just think that next year at this time you may already be together.

[jackieandkathy 0]

Thanks for reminding !

actually we are going to apply for K1 and then to get married in the US !

[sukie175 0]

i don't know what i'm doing half the time , i feel i don't fit in anymore and we are missing each other so damn much!!!, we are constantly on the internet and phone each other 4 times a day......... , But it just isn't enough!!..

Oh Boy did you take me back in time with this part of your post. I remember that feeling so well, I just felt so disconnected from my friends and family, exactly like I did not fit in anymore. It was like I had a whole life with my fiance that others did not appreciate or understand.

As others here have said, plan things either online or in person. We used to have times of day we always spent online and weekends were pretty much taken up like that.

Don't worry you will both survive this stage, most of us here have been there and are now married and living together happily

[djcess 0]

Thank goodness. From your topic title, for some reason I thought she was missing as in she disappeared!

Maybe that will help you with missing her. Look on the bright side, at least she's not missing!

hahaha! ditto!

[meauxna 15]

Thank goodness. From your topic title, for some reason I thought she was missing as in she disappeared!

Maybe that will help you with missing her. Look on the bright side, at least she's not missing!

hahaha! ditto!

Me three!!!

Glad we don't have to send out the search party.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Thank goodness. From your topic title, for some reason I thought she was missing as in she disappeared!

Maybe that will help you with missing her. Look on the bright side, at least she's not missing!

So did I!

I'm glad she's not lost lost and just think about the future, visit eachother when you can, do things to help both of you cope and time will fly in the end. Good luck,

Sarah

[Bunnyqr 0]

Me toooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Over here!!! Me! ME! MEEEE TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Every day I am learning a new way to "just deal". I haven't seen my sweetie since January 30th. Going on the 5th month apart

This is what I am doing:

1. Praying A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. Being thankful we met each other and fell in love.

3. Being thankful that the first time we met he took the time to learn how to pronounce my name.

4. Reading books, LOTS OF BOOKS!!!

5. Taking Greek lessons, ugh!

6. Still making plans with my friends and getting together for cocktails in the city.

7. Loving every second of listening to him speak on the phone.

8. Startied exercising again.

9. Made plans to see him in 5 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Got the time off at my new job, Sweetie bought the ticket and imagining seeing him at the airport to pick me up.

10. Putting pictures on my desktop at work of Greece.

11. Listening to Greek music, OOOHHHPPAAA!!!

12. Gathering information, pictures, ideas, etc. for the wedding that will come some day.

13. Bought my wedding dress.

14. Making plans for weekend get aways with "the girls" at the shore.

15. Going to put a scrap book together about "us" on how we met and fill it with pictures and all sorts of stuff.

16. Going to this site for support and complete understanding of the situation we are all in.

17. Did I say Praying??? Every night I pray for him and for me and for the USCIS officer handling our paperwork.

18. Thinking if we can get through this, this is sure one heck of a test to realize how much we love each other, support each other, and want to be together.

19. Kissing pictures of him before I go to sleep.

and

20. I finally found the man I have been praying for for years, he is everything I always wanted. Cute accent, Mediterranean culture, laughs a lot, loves to have fun, comes from amazing family, wants children, loves me, thinks I am the most beautiful amerikanaki he has ever seen, supportive, affectionate, passionate, loves to talk about everything, spiritual, deep thinker and the list goes on. Thank YOU GOD!!!