Returning to US after living in MENA

[Henia 11]

Esalaams/Hello ....

Not that we are at that point yet ... really I think we are far from it! But I really wish we were closer ... what wondering since I vaguly remember couples out there who have ... returned to the US after living together in MENA ... how was it upon the return... how is economy now and living?Worth it or not ...

We are doing fine here ... have home of our own, my husband works while I also have the possibly to work again if I want to... daughter doing OK in school, etc etc. Buuuut I miss my mother (my only family ... also she is now widowed and older), healthwise everything here is screwed up ... my husband thou he has a degree and has good job ... hates the company he works for.

Recent conversation came up going back to the US ... really he shyly asking me if I wanted to go back ... well I would miss alot here but I am already missing alot there ... so to me it's 50/50. I do want to go back but I don't ...

I do want to go back for...

my mum

my old friends

more convient life (selfish I know ... I miss Walmart and my clothes dryer)

education for my children (daughter doing well ye still struggling ... but overall education is s**t here as everything esle)

healthcare for my children

maybe just maybe my husband get his MBA (his dream)

More and more rights are being taken away here ... life getting harder not easier ... revolution I think on the way within 5yrs.

But I donnot want to go back cos of:

Starting life all over again(where to live, work, etc ....hardest I think)

husband missing family/friends

missing my friends/family here

children growing up with dh's family (not sure good or bad thing LOL)

Better values here I guess overall

Daughter having lived here for 2yrs ... going back to have lost 2yrs in school (I think too hard on her)

Husband not feeling like man, if he doesn't work for a while ... or work at jobs he would want to work at

I donnow ... I canot decide if I should continue to talk about this with my husband. He bought it up ... I rather live in Europe right now ... closer to Algeria ... maybe not leave at all. Maybe I or he is depressed ... I donnow even know why I am asking this ... maybe just curious to see what experiences everyone had. Thanks for reading my ramblings!

[sara..... 371]

Esalaams/Hello ....

Not that we are at that point yet ... really I think we are far from it! But I really wish we were closer ... what wondering since I vaguly remember couples out there who have ... returned to the US after living together in MENA ... how was it upon the return... how is economy now and living?Worth it or not ...

We are doing fine here ... have home of our own, my husband works while I also have the possibly to work again if I want to... daughter doing OK in school, etc etc. Buuuut I miss my mother (my only family ... also she is now widowed and older), healthwise everything here is screwed up ... my husband thou he has a degree and has good job ... hates the company he works for.

Recent conversation came up going back to the US ... really he shyly asking me if I wanted to go back ... well I would miss alot here but I am already missing alot there ... so to me it's 50/50. I do want to go back but I don't ...

I do want to go back for...

my mum

my old friends

more convient life (selfish I know ... I miss Walmart and my clothes dryer)

education for my children (daughter doing well ye still struggling ... but overall education is s**t here as everything esle)

healthcare for my children

maybe just maybe my husband get his MBA (his dream)

More and more rights are being taken away here ... life getting harder not easier ... revolution I think on the way within 5yrs.

But I donnot want to go back cos of:

Starting life all over again(where to live, work, etc ....hardest I think)

husband missing family/friends

missing my friends/family here

children growing up with dh's family (not sure good or bad thing LOL)

Better values here I guess overall

Daughter having lived here for 2yrs ... going back to have lost 2yrs in school (I think too hard on her)

Husband not feeling like man, if he doesn't work for a while ... or work at jobs he would want to work at

I donnow ... I canot decide if I should continue to talk about this with my husband. He bought it up ... I rather live in Europe right now ... closer to Algeria ... maybe not leave at all. Maybe I or he is depressed ... I donnow even know why I am asking this ... maybe just curious to see what experiences everyone had. Thanks for reading my ramblings!

salam,

all i can tell u is how we felt when we came back from living over seas for four years.

we hated it here everything is so fast

there is no concession for women like there is over seas and of course the pace of life is so fast here compared to over seas. going back to school here for us was hard but we made it thru. surprisingly we were more advanced in our studies than the kids in school were because we had a home teacher that came daily to teach us.

it was hard for us to get used to a mixed gender school sitting.

it has been some years since we returned and we still miss our life over seas but are getting used to living in the usa again.

at some point in time im pretty sure we will again move over seas

ur in my prayers i hope what ever is best for u is what happens

sara

[Henia 11]

Thanks for sharing your experience!

[doodlebugg 10]

there is no concession for women like there is over seas

I'm just curious what this means? What you mean by concessions for women overseas?

[Sandrila 1]

Good Luck Henia

If it were me, I wouldnt want to come back here however, you did give it a good shot there and you do have family here so you wouldnt be completely alone or without support.

Medical care and conveniences are incomparable here, no doubt. Finding work will take some time but can be done, I think even in this deteriorating economy.

I just fear for your baby. I think you should give it serious consideration but it is your life.

It is true your husband would miss his family and independence there, however you and your children are his life now and wherever you are, he should be content to be.

I had to start from ZERO at one point after coming back from living in another country. It was hard, I felt alone, I felt disconnected and missed my friends and extended family BUT once I got into my groove and starting asking GOD for help, he showed me the way and now I am sure that my husband and I will live better here for alot more reasons than staying over there.

Good luck

Lisa

[nunyab 0]

well... there is good and not so good every time you leave and come back. I enjoy my family but like you don't enjoy the pace or the "live to work" mentality. Alhamdolilah I have found a job with European benefits but I do spend @ 60 hours a week working. No family nearby but friends that are as close to family. Right now the economy isn't so good our unemployment is the worst it's been in 34 yrs. But I have heard similar things in europe too.

Our goal is to live here for a few years then go to europe insha'allah that will be possible.

Take care

[Nothing1234 2]

Hi Henia,

I think for us we had a chance to live in Egypt and my husband keep his work. He was doing great and was successful. However, our only thought...was the twins. Their education and medical care. No matter what other reasons we had for wanting to live there...we kept coming back to our children and their health/future.

I don't know about anything else you shared...but we decided no matter what the stuggle here would be (him getting work/friends, etc) that it was all worth it for the twins. We can go back to Egypt and visit anytime plus have a home for vacations.

Thats my two cents...

Best of luck on your decision....

Nawal

[amal 4]

I think coming here would be about as difficult as it was for u to go live over there. There's no reason though as to why it couldn't be done. It might actually be beneficial for him to see how the life here is conducted. Heck, maybe he'd even gain an understanding of what you gave up so you could be in his country with him. (not that that is an issue.....just sayin') I know I'd have major issues going to live in Jordan long-term coz I'm wayyyyyyyyyyyy too comfortable with having everything I need just a few blocks away. I also hate being hot so summer is a NO WAY MAAAN for me! lol

[Henia 11]

You are completely right Nawal about healthcare/education ... and you also Amal about would do him good seeing another lifestyle ... he has not lived outside of Algeria ... and visited only countries with similar lifestyles ... the shock would do him good.

Myself, other then obviously healthcare/education for my children ... my worries lay really once I get to the US what am I going to ... I have newborn ... and no one to take care of him (and I really I would like to keep him out of daycare) ... My mind is ramblings with ideas ... on how to solve this issue, esp if my husband doesn't find the kind of work we need to sustain a certain level of income. It's hard leaving everything to find nothing ... but anyway my husband brought this question up in a very nonchalant way ... so I am going to creatively place the idea back in his head so he can bring it up again.

[sara..... 371]

there is no concession for women like there is over seas

I'm just curious what this means? What you mean by concessions for women overseas?

we were well taken care of over seas. we were not expected to go and change a flat tire, do the yard work, worry about fixing what ever was wrong in the home, what ever was needed was taken care of by the men in our family.

if we wanted to do that type of work we could, and had a lot of fun doing it but it was not just expected.

we were not hit on like we are here, getting a taxi over seas is much easier for a women than getting one here, just life in general ur needs are met and ur taken care of here as soon as ur feet hit the pavement ur running.

over there its the men in the families responsibility to make sure the women in the home are happy, there is not complaining when u want to go shopping or NEED to go shopping.

sure there are disagreements but they would never end with a man calling u filthy names. we were shown more respect in one day there as women than we are in the usa in a week.