Skype Calls and other proof of bonafide relationship

[TayL 0]

My fiancé bought me skype-out so I can call his cellphone (he also bought me a number that was local to his cell number so he could call me without long distance fees). I've been reading visa denial threads (yes, bad idea. Bad Tay. Bad) and have seen that the primary reason for most denials is "failure to prove bonafide relationship."

They talk about phone records. I don't have my own phone or cell phone. I have my parents' number, since I live at home. My Skype is, for reasons of not giving out my real name, under one of my online IDs. He did, however, send me money to my paypal to get the skype-out and the skype-in number.

Will printing off my skype call history (literally multiple calls a day) and grabbing my paypal screen showing the payment from my fiancé work the same as showing a "normal" phone record? If not, what else can we do to show proof of bonafide relationship? When he comes up in February, he's saving all receipts, boarding passes, etc, but it will be the first visit up here and we don't have any evidence of other visits (because of finances, we haven't had the ability to grab face to face time up until now, though we're hoping I can fly down before April, when we file. We've been talking enough that we're sure about this relationship. We're positive that we can deal with each other's odd habits because we're both willing to do a LOT of adaptation. He's everything I could ever want and need). We intend to get lots of photos. I know every detail of his education, right down to the rank he held in JROTC, though I am ALWAYS muddling up the name of his high school. He doesn't spell very well, so I write his resumés, which means I know his work history. I know the places he's lived, everyone he's dated in the past. We have TONNES of emails back and forth--but many of them have um... dirty photos. >.< Not the kind of thing I'm big on handing off to immigration. Should we start emailing each other every day? I know we should probably get the receipts and stuff for the bracelet he sent this past summer, if we can.

Yes, I stress easily about this stuff, but we don't want to bone it up! As it stands, I have to make appointments with a psych so that I can have a psych say "yes, Tay's sane" when the time comes because I did something boneheaded in an abusive relationship awhile back. That was my biggest worry, but now I'm concerned we don't have enough proof. I mean... When you care about someone, do you honestly care that there's physical proof that they care about you? I don't and neither does he, so we've never really kept a lot of stuff. I'm trying to *stop* being a packrat!

And it appears that I ramble when I'm nervous. Sorry. >.<

[MrsCat 6]

Hi Tay,

I know this is not a PC thing to say, but I'm going to say it anyways, a lot of the visa denials you see on here are from particular countries where the US considers there to be visa fraud. In that sense, they ask for an arm and leg to prove that a relationship is genuine. This is rarely a problem for Canadians, as we're not under that type of strict scrutiny in the eyes of immigration. Additionally, some of those people have only seen each other once, have huge age differences, some don't even speak the same language. Can you imagine if you have all those factors working against your application. I feel sorry for them because its hard to prove your love on paper

Provide whatever proof you have. Photos, receipts from gifts etc. If the phone thing seems confusing, just write a letter explaining how the phone situation works. I can assure you that you'll more than meet their standard of proof. You can print off a few emails if that helps and start emailing more often if you think that will help. As for the dirty ones just print them off without the attachments.

When you see one another make sure you take lots of photos and put them with your application.

Given we weren't K1 but we sent in very little information with our application (a few pictures, a letter from Chris' neighbor saying he's met me and a few really expensive phone bills (my calls weren't itemized either). That was about it.

A few deep breaths

I recall freaking for a while that we hadn't sent in enough either. I think it was about January 2008 when we hadn't heard anything about our application from August 2007 and I blamed Chris for our impending denial for lack of evidence. He put everything together when we parted ways after our July wedding.

Things were fine, our box was just at the bottom of the ocean or something and not found until March 2008.

Edited December 15, 2008 by MrsCat

[TayL 0]

Bottom of the ocean. O.O

lol

Sorry to be all freaking. We've had bad news tonight (personal life, not relating to our relationship or visa process) and I did what I usually do--bury myself in my research on whatever I happen to be researching. Which is generally a mistake when I'm already upset and freaked about something. I find the research relaxing, but sometimes the results I find make me more upset. And now I want to make *sure* for *sure* that we're not going to be told "HA! WE CAN TELL YOU DON'T REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF OUR ARBITRARY GUIDELINES EVEN THOUGH WE'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN YOU TOGETHER."

[The_Dude 1,142]

I think MrsCat is dead on about visa's from certain countries or are of a certain profile requiring more proof than from others.

For Mel and I, we didn't want to leave anything to chance. I think our I-129 was like 70-80 pages (overkill, i know, but the thought of being denied is too much to bear). Itemized cell phone bills, pics, and a selection of emails and boarding passes, and a receipt for the engagement ring. I know Mel was very similar in her research. She wouldn't hardly let me touch it for fear I might mess it up, or spill pizza on it. She even prepared 3 full copies of it for fear that it might get lost in the process. I'm eternally grateful for her diligence in this (and not because she reads these forums more than me )

The thing with the skype not being in your name, they might not take that as evidence. If you can't prove that the bill is yours, then what is to say it isn't someone else bill? I'm not trying to make you paranoid or anything. I would put the account in your name if you were planning to submit it as evidence though. Just my two cents.

-Rob

[Carlawarla 1]

We didn't have Skype. We had phone bills. All it was, was a listing of the calls made over a period of time. I'd print a smattering of calls, but remember that calls are only one part of the equation. You'll have pictures, receipts, greeting cards by snail mail if you have them etc.

Take a deep breath. It's easy to get overwhelmed at what you want to bring, and as MrsCat says, what you've read on other topics on VJ here, is not relative to Canada in terms of evidence.

[Flames9_RN 358]

Canadians rarely get asked for evidence at the interview and if they do , showing pictures is usually suffice, and yes they return them to you! Yes, I was one of those people that brought a lot of evidence in my plastic 13 pocket accordion binder,lol few picture, letter from her mother, travel receipts,etc. They never asked to see any of it. The interview for 99.9999 of Canucks is the easiest part. The actual interview itself is normally very fast, like under 10 minutes, and those 10 minutes are not spent answering questions, but the interviewer going over ur paperwork, plus explaining the visa. All this build up, and its normally very easy! Best of luck

[Emancipation 2]

I think cards etc from your fiance's family is a great form of evidence. I had letters from my soon to be MIL etc., and that's valuable too. If you have a ring on your finger that's a form of evidence as well. Pics, etc are all great.

I know I had the same issues with my phone records. I had a phone number listed under my Landlady's name, she just added a kids line to her phone number for me, and I called hubby cause he just had a cell phone, so we didn't have much in the line of phone records (he may have got vonage near the end perhaps, can't recall), but no one asked to see them.

[thetreble 19]

I don't mean to interrupt the thread but I am confused.

You filed or are going to file for a visa application but you have never met?

[trailmix 77]

Did any of you that did a K1 - or even CR1 - only meet once in person - before your interview?

I'm just thinking that is what Tay is most concerned about and I was wondering if this made a difference at all, because if i'm reading this right Tay and fiance haven't met face to face yet?

[thetreble 19]

That is how I read it and if this is so, I might have to chirp in and give Tay some advice.

[trailmix 77]

I don't mean to interrupt the thread but I am confused.

You filed or are going to file for a visa application but you have never met?

Tay mentions that they aren't filing until April - after they meet in person:

because of finances, we haven't had the ability to grab face to face time up until now, though we're hoping I can fly down before April, when we file.

Edited December 15, 2008 by trailmix

[thetreble 19]

I don't mean to interrupt the thread but I am confused.

You filed or are going to file for a visa application but you have never met?

Tay mentions that they aren't filing until April - after they meet in person:

(because of finances, we haven't had the ability to grab face to face time up until now, though we're hoping I can fly down before April, when we file.

Ah yes..but shouldn't they meet in person before they even think about filing?? I guess my advice, and don't take this the wrong way in any sense TayL, is meet each other and spend time with one another multiple times before you decide to get involved in a lengthy, costly immigration process. Even though you may think you can live with someone's bad habits before you meet them, you should find out what those are before committing to someone for life.

Just in my opinion though. Please don't take this as me telling you what to do.

[TayL 0]

I don't mean to interrupt the thread but I am confused.

You filed or are going to file for a visa application but you have never met?

Tay mentions that they aren't filing until April - after they meet in person:

(because of finances, we haven't had the ability to grab face to face time up until now, though we're hoping I can fly down before April, when we file.

Ah yes..but shouldn't they meet in person before they even think about filing?? I guess my advice, and don't take this the wrong way in any sense TayL, is meet each other and spend time with one another multiple times before you decide to get involved in a lengthy, costly immigration process. Even though you may think you can live with someone's bad habits before you meet them, you should find out what those are before committing to someone for life.

Just in my opinion though. Please don't take this as me telling you what to do.

This would be what we prefer. We wanted to do so, but then I've had so much trouble finding a job. I've *finally* found a TEMPORARY PART TIME job that gives me 12 hours a week and will end in January. This is after 6 months' searching. That's the first *call* I've got. And it's not for a shoddy work history. I've got a TONNE of experience both locally and out of town in multiple fields, with the only gaps in my work history being due to the fact that I was in full time university classes. There are, literally, NO jobs. We've planned visit after visit after visit after visit and then finances have been too tight before the planned visit. Largely because I can't afford to go and he can't afford to bring me down if he's gonna pay my visa fees comfortably and still have a "padding" amount of money against emergency. He makes enough to bring me down, and enough to support me when I'm there, but it gets much more complicated when you factor in the thousand other things expected of him.

I'm positive on this one. Largely because he was living with one of my best friends when I met him, is why I'm pretty sure I can live with the habits. I know it sounds weird. I've caught a lot of flack for it. We're also hoping for another visit in March, but we can't make guarantees.

[thetreble 19]

Well I have my fingers crossed for you both to have a couple of visits. Being married is a big step in itself, but leaving your country and getting married can feel like hell at times.

[SapphireDreams 71]

Before you consider filing, you must meet each other. In my opinion, spending money on meeting each other and dating is more important than money to file a visa. Period. That should be your top priority. Long distance sucks, it's expensive as hell, but it's a fact of life for us.

I'm all about online relationships - don't get me wrong - but you need to be realistic financially and emotionally. I know you are confident in your relationship. Chances are your instincts are right. But you cannot be sure about anything until you meet.

You also cannot even file until you prove you've met in person. So focus on that. Meet eachother, enjoy each other's company and then let the next step fall into place.

You're jumping ahead of yourself.