Difficult being married. Not adjusting well.

[almaty 19]

i am going to be polite..and just say no comment..

ditto

sister nessa

[CanGal 1]

hmmmm after reading that other thread this sounds fishy ..... no other comments here as well ...

[Ladylethal 12]

That's a tough situation, hope you can work things out for the best for both of you.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

Anyone else having problems?

Not like that. Not like that at all.

There was a time about two years ago when Nani first arrived in the US and was unable to go out by herself / work / socialize that she felt urges to return to Ethiopia. That's quite natural, I would think. There were very emotional times. It wasn't easy sometimes. But we worked through it - it wasn't even anything really severe. Just some home sickness and boredom while she was kind of stuck at home alone for the first couple of months. It's all history now. Well, actually, all the stuff we went through during our first year of marriage (the visa #######, her relocation and adjustment, my being laid off and out of work for 6 months, our relocation to this hellhole of a city just so I can start working again) showed me what a great woman Nani really is and what a great team the two of us make.

Best of Luck to you!

[djcess 0]

I really wish you both can work this out for the baby's sake.. Whatever her intentions are, boy there is karma! never underestimate it. Hang in there!

[dmartmar 1]

I remember pittman's old post as well.

Something still smells fishy in this story and pittman's still trying to figure out his wife's true intentions.

[dmartmar 1]

This is her 2nd time living here in the US, but she is having a very difficult time adjusting. It seems that every other day she wants to either go back to Mexico or Memphis, TN.

The 1st time she lived here couldn't have been that bad, if she came back to live here a 2nd time around! And if she's having such a difficult time adjusting, she'd go back to Mexico, NOT TN!

You mentioned before that her family here in the states is illegal.

Hello!!!!

[babybunny 2]

i am going to be polite..and just say no comment..

yeah what dean sayes

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Anyone else having problems?

Not like that. Not like that at all.

Well, actually, all the stuff we went through during our first year of marriage (the visa #######, her relocation and adjustment, my being laid off and out of work for 6 months, our relocation to this hellhole of a city just so I can start working again) showed me what a great woman Nani really is and what a great team the two of us make.

[joej 0]

Anyone else having problems?

Didn't this get hashed out earlier this year?

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...owtopic=377&hl=

Oh ya. Now I remember. This saga was pretty interesting.

[JenT 0]

Pittman,

After reading the history here, it seems as though you are really in denial about this situation. There's a fine line between being noble and being made a fool... I admire your willingness to stand by your marriage, but have you considered how this instability is being perceived by your son? Is this the sort of relationship you want to model for him?

I hope you're able to find happiness and peace at some point, but I seriously doubt you're going to find much in the situation you're in....

Jen

[pittman1971 0]

Hi all

My wife and I have been married almost 2 years, she is from Mexico. We went through the whole immigration process and she was able to come here this past November. This is her 2nd time living here but she is having a very difficult time adjusting. It seems that every other day she wants to leave, go to Mexico or Memphis Tn. In short our problems started in January after her mom went back to Mexico after a month visiting here. We have a son together, he is 18 months old and a daddy's boy. Well it seems for the past few months my wife has been planning on leaving for good. We had both agreed on my step-daughter and my son going to Mexico for the summer with her family. Then all of a sudden she wanted to go, I said OK are you coming back? Her answer was I don't know, well of course I added a little heat to the fire. I told her she could go but my son stays here. A few weeks passed with no arguments and then she asked me to take her and the kids to Memphis to fly out to Mexico City. I let her know again my son stays. I then asked her why Memphis and not AEX. Her reply was her mother was flying to Memphis to take her cousin something and that she wanted to fly from Memphis so her mom can help with the kids. To make this short, one day we were talking about our marriage problems. I asked her to cancel her trip to Mexico so we could try and fix the problems. The 1st words out of her mouth were, I can't because my family already paid 1500 dollars on 1 way tickets. She said she wanted to go back there is nothing here for her. I went to work the next day, when I got home I noticed she had luggage packed. I then picked my son up and went to a friends. The next day my attorney got the emergency custody paperwork in order and signed by the judge. My wife was served the divorce/ emergency custody papers about 5 days later. I was advised not to let her know where I was with our son due to her possibly trying to take him out of the country. Well after she got the papers I called her and let her see our son for a few hours. By day 9 I was at our home taking care of yardwork while our son stayed with my wife and sister in the house. Later my wife came outside and we talked about what was happening. She said she does not want a divorce, I explained to her that paperwork was the only thing I could file to have emergency custody of our son. My wife then asked me what will it take for us to stay together? I told her to sign full custody of our son over to me and we can work on it from there. The next day we were at my attorney's and she signed full custody over to me. We have been back together for 10 days now. For the 1st 6-7 days everything seemed great but now I can see her changing again. She has asked me almost everyday to have the custody papers cancelled. Well when she asks that I feel like she is playing a game, biding her time until she can get him out of the country. As for me I love my wife and kids and want things to work but at the same time I need to protect my son. I will never cancel the custody papers and if she wants she can leave. I will even buy her another 1 way ticket if she so chooses.

Anyone else having problems?

Hi Pittman1971,

Maybe your wife is just really HOMESICK. It may not mean she lost her love for you. Homesickness definitely leads to depression. Depression leads to unwise/unstable/desperate decisions. Believe me, I know!

I almost gave up everything (our American Dream, GC and my HUBBY!) earlier in our marriage. I was just sooo homesick and depressed all the time. I love my husband very much but something was missing - a part of me (my family, friends and lifestyle back in the Philippines). I felt worst because I know my husband is affected with my moodiness. I just wanted to leave - to stop all the hurting. He probably felt I wasnt happy being with him. But I was! I just couldnt help feeling homesick! Its really hard to explain.

Anyway, what happened was he sent me back to the Philippines for 5 months. I missed him terribly! He followed after 2 months and stayed for 2 weeks. When I came back here, I was refreshed. Realized what my priorities are. But I have to admit, I still do get homesick a lot! I know I couldnt live without him but couldnt live with ONLY him either! Hehe! If I could just be at two places at the same time, that would be awesome!

Anyway my point is, your wife is not a bad/not trustworthy person. She's probably confused and overwhelmed being away from "home". (Plus she may still have the "baby blues") Adjustment is really hard. She needs more time to get used to her new home. Maybe your wife just needs time to rethink things over. With a clear and relaxed mind, she may realize how important you are to her son's life (and to her life!). You are the father of her son - and that is a strong bond between you two. Or maybe, try to compromise with her. 6 months here, 6 months there so she wouldnt feel trapped.

This is just my opinion. Good luck and be strong.

[HARLANC 0]

you can not trust women from mexico city

[TracyTN 237]

Yeah, just like you can't always trust a generalization.

[almaty 19]

you can not trust women from mexico city

only a chopf##k would write that...