Is the fear of the interview & fear of death the same?

[Naijabound 1]

I haven't even filed my K1 petition yet (Will do so in a few weeks) but I am already freaking out about the interview. Especially with the fact that my fiance will interview, when the time comes, in Lagos. I have been reading the posts and read how relieved those are whose SO "passed" the interview are (with good reason, of course). But the fear that we get - it is as if we are having to take a final exam for a grade or even worse as if we have made a bet on ours lives when our SO goes for their interview. I'm just thinking it shouldn't be this way and we should not be to the point of how I am now- as if we are scared for our lives because these interviewer's at the embassy's have our lives in their hands. This is our love, our life- not theirs. This should be a happy time, not one that put's so much emotional terror inside of us. And yes I know that some say they are just here to protect us from scammers, etc. But really, these people have to much control over our lives when they can just hand you a paper and tell you "sorry, I dont believe your relationship is real" or whatever other reason they may tell if they even give you a reason at all. Then we are basically screwed. If anyone has anything positive to say about the interviews that would help ease my fears, please feel free. Because from what I have read on some of these posts I am getting the impression that it could all depend on who interviews you and what type of mood they are in if your SO gets approved or not. Am I wrong? If so, please let me know. I am hoping I am wrong and most denials are for legitimate reasons and nothing else...

[reeses16 8]

I remember being scared of the interview too. Do you best to be positive about it. Since you've been educating yourself on the process before you file. I bet you will have a much easier time. I know Nigeria is considered a high fraud country, so that likely increases the chances that you may be put on AP. But otherwise the requirements are the same. My advice is to be (1) diligent in your paper work, double check spelling (particularly names and places) and details (job title, time at residence) to make sure they are accurate and consistent. (2) Make sure you have good evidence (photos, letters, reciepts, e-mail etc). For example a reciept for a phone card doesn't show you called your SO, it shows you bought a phone card. You'll want to have a record of a few calls you made with the phone number listed (which should match the phone number you list for him on the 1-129F). Not all of your calls need to be documented, but its good to show calls over time. (3) If possible, I would recommend that go to Lagos for the interview with your SO. I don't if you are allowed to be part of the interview or not. But at very least, if might be helpful for you to be there because your SO will have proof of an additional visit to see him and you will be able to intervene if necessary. It doesn't always work, but I read about people who were denied, but were very active in demanding to have the case looked at again while in country with sucess. I don't think its necessary to go to the interview. I didn't go with my hubby to his interview. I did write a short letter addressed to the CO saying that I was not able to attend, but that my family and I were looking forward to my SO arriving in the US, and I said that I could be reached at xyz number during the interview if there were any questions. Probably not necessary but it made me feel better. (4) Prepare for the interview. It shouldn't be taken lightly nor should it be feared. Practice asking questions on the phone. Be sure he knows whats in the paperwork. The rest should be a piece of cake because its just stuff about you or the relationship.

My understanding of the process is not that the CO is trying to prevent us from being victims of marriage scammers. But they are trying to stop the marriage scammers from circumventing US immigration law. But I'm sure it doesn't feel that way when you are in a real relationship that they question or unfairly scrutinize. I do think that to a certain extent it is subjective....which is why the evidence you provide is important (it leaves less room for subjective decision). If you are denied a reason will be provided. You will have an opporunity to contest it (although it must be done very quickly). And if you are denied a K1 you would have the opportunity to marry then try a K3 or IR1/CR1.

There are some scary situation that do happen. But do your best to prepare and have a good attitude. While a denial to come to the US will disrupt your plans, you could always move to Nigeria. It may not be possible in your situation, but I think if you are committed to being together something would work out.

Ok....this post is looooong enough now. Sorry about the spelling....my spell check isn't working and my brain is struggling a little today. lol.

Edited December 12, 2008 by reeses16

[Ta Ta 1]

Reeses gave you good advice. if you cross every T and dot every I , check and double check your forms and have lots of communication proof you should be fine.

Keep a positive attitude no matter what and have a genuine support system.

Best wishes !

[Zee Bee 61]

I always tell people that there is no need to think about the negative before it happens. Cross that bridge when you come to it.

Reeses gave you some great advice. It is up to you to prove to the CO that your relationship is real. Make sure all your documents are in order and you should have no problems.

[diday 0]

nothing to fear as long as you bring proof of genuine relationships and be prepare.