delivery poll

[Marilyn. 340]

Also, don't be afraid of natural childbirth. I did it 3 times, and while there is pain, it really is manageable. And once its all over, you tend to forget it! Good luck!

If you are lucky. Be prepared for anything.

Yes do be prepared. Natural childbirth is not easy for everyone and some people experience A LOT of pain, in that case it's not fun, it's not pleasant and it is not a warm fuzzy memory. In fact it might just put you off having more children.

yeah everyone's experience is different.. some people's pain threshold maybe isn't as high as others ...

[*julez* 124]

Also, don't be afraid of natural childbirth. I did it 3 times, and while there is pain, it really is manageable. And once its all over, you tend to forget it! Good luck!

If you are lucky. Be prepared for anything.

Yes do be prepared. Natural childbirth is not easy for everyone and some people experience A LOT of pain, in that case it's not fun, it's not pleasant and it is not a warm fuzzy memory. In fact it might just put you off having more children.

yeah everyone's experience is different.. some people's pain threshold maybe isn't as high as others ...

I agree. But I think women with L&D horror stories shouldn't share so openly with first time mothers. I like to share my positive experience, to assure a new mother to be that giving birth isn't always terrible.

Edited December 10, 2008 by *julez*

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I agree. But I think women with L&D horror stories shouldn't share so openly with first time mothers. I like to share my positive experience, to assure a new mother to be that giving birth isn't always terrible.

Why lie? Some people have lots of fun, flowers and roses, love giving birth, but I don't think the are the norm. For a lot of women though, it is a grueling, painful ordeal. If it wasn't, epidurals wouldn't be so asked for and praised. Childbirth wouldn't have been seen as a form of severe punishment upon women for the fall of man.

[*julez* 124]

Fine. Giving birth is the worst, most terribly horribly painful excruciating thng you'll ever do. It will be Hell beyond your most evil expectations. You will be scarred for life and will regret it till your dying day. Yes. Giving birth sucks that bad.

Those who say its not that bad are all liars that want to trick you.

Sheesh.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Sure, could happen. It is what happened to me.

You say that you had a great experience. That's fine. I just don't think it is the norm. Show me some evidence that most women find labor very tolerable and don't want drugs without bias and I will consider it.

[Ms. Squirrel 11]

Let me share a nice story - my Mom had me in 5 hours, natural birth, no drugs, only oxygen. And I was a big baby. She said that it did hurt, but that it wasn't as bad as everyone had said and she forgot about all the pain, poop and vomit as soon as they put me on her naked belly and she saw my little head.

Birth experience varies, good and bad stories. Some hated it, some thought it was a miracle and can't wait to have a second one.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Let me share a nice story - my Mom had me in 5 hours, natural birth, no drugs, only oxygen. And I was a big baby. She said that it did hurt, but that it wasn't as bad as everyone had said and she forgot about all the pain, poop and vomit as soon as they put me on her naked belly and she saw my little head.

Birth experience varies, good and bad stories. Some hated it, some thought it was a miracle and can't wait to have a second one.

So if the worst that can happen from telling a bad birth story is that it didn't happen to be as bad for them as it was for someone else, then what is the harm of someone telling a bad story? It isn't a self-fufilling prophecy. What you think or think you know has nothing to do with what is or what will be in the arena of childbirth which is why I urge preperation for any possibility. If you need pain relief, you need it. If you don't, you don't. You aren't a failure or a hero either way.

[Mags 112]

My own birth was so bad that my mother was terrified to have another child. Within 6 months she had had her tubes tied.

Anyhoo, I'm sure you'll be fine, Nessa!

Edited December 10, 2008 by Magenta

[Chocolot 0]

Reading and talking about positive experiences will be more helpful in preparation for any mother about to give birth.

It is sad that so many new mothers have bad experiences and that medical intervention is seen as the norm. Having a baby is a natural function of a womans body and although some women relate such horrific stories the human race would have died out if it was truly so bad. Our bodies have hard work to do to birth a baby, with the right preparation and knowledge a lot of the fear can be reduced and if the mother-to-be can work with her body to deliver.

We like to think that we are so different from other species but truly we can learn a lot from animals. The pregnancy and pre-birth process if taken slowly and gently ripens our body readying it for our newborn with hormonal changes and the less interference the better, as sometime one medical intervention leads to another until it cascades.

Some medical interventions also interfere with the newborn, and any drugs given to the mother can mean that the baby is born with drugs in its body, which changes his or her natural behaviour.

There are some terrific books on natural birth and many mothers can attest that it isnt as bad for evryone as some of the experiences these mothers have related in this thread. Many hospitals have wonderful midwives and will help you. My area of expertise is lactation and can help with feeding tips once the baby is born.

I think having some relaxation or visualisation techniques and some of your wishes written in a birth plan, can be really helpful for when your time comes.

My very best wishes, I cant wait to hear that your baby is here safe and secure in your arms.

[trailmix 77]

Fine. Giving birth is the worst, most terribly horribly painful excruciating thng you'll ever do. It will be Hell beyond your most evil expectations. You will be scarred for life and will regret it till your dying day. Yes. Giving birth sucks that bad.

Those who say its not that bad are all liars that want to trick you.

Sheesh.

Julez,

When I wrote what I wrote, please understand that I was not taking a swipe at you. I dont see why telling a soon to be first time Mother what it can be like is wrong - Nessa is no fool and I am sure she has done her own research.

Some women will prefer natural childbirth, some will not. Please note that you do not get any extra brownie points - either way. One is not 'right' and the other 'wrong'.

Edited December 10, 2008 by trailmix

[*julez* 124]

Fine. Giving birth is the worst, most terribly horribly painful excruciating thng you'll ever do. It will be Hell beyond your most evil expectations. You will be scarred for life and will regret it till your dying day. Yes. Giving birth sucks that bad.

Those who say its not that bad are all liars that want to trick you.

Sheesh.

Julez,

When I wrote what I wrote, please understand that I was not taking a swipe at you. I dont see why telling a soon to be first time Mother what it can be like is wrong - Nessa is no fool and I am sure she has done her own research.

Some women will prefer natural childbirth, some will not. Please note that you do not get any extra brownie points - either way. One is not 'right' and the other 'wrong'.

Personally, I am not trying to get extra brownie points. I was simply offering a different point of view. So many people relay ugly stories about birth, so when I have the opportunity I like to share my positive experiences. My own experience as a first time mother to be, I was really quite afraid of L&D since I had heard so many awful things. I was pleasantly surprised when my situation turned out otherwise and as a result, I do like to share my experience with expectant mothers. I have actually had a few thank me after the births of their children, telling me that my story inspired them.

And prior to giving birth the first time, I had actually thought I'd go for the epidural, but since I arrived at the hospital at 7 CM dilated, I was told it was not an option for me. Yes, I felt pain. I even had an episiotomy. I delivered a 8# 7 oz baby and survived. I have never felt more alive than when giving birth. It was a euphoric experience.

Sure, childbirth can be awful, but it can also be awesome. That's all I am trying to say.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

It is sad that so many new mothers have bad experiences and that medical intervention is seen as the norm. Having a baby is a natural function of a womans body and although some women relate such horrific stories the human race would have died out if it was truly so bad.

Not true. Let's assume that a woman has 6 children. One is stillborn. 2 die of childhood accident or disease. 3 live to adulthood. In the birth of the last sibling, the mother is either severely injured and can no longer have children or dies. Despite the fact that 4 people are now dead, 3 children still lived to breeding age and themselves had between 12-20 children. Maybe half die, but that is still between 6-10. That is all that matters. That is how the human race still exists, just a cold numbers game, not a touchy-feely Hallmark game.

Giving birth always has been dangerous. To not respect this is foolish.

Edited December 10, 2008 by Wacken

[trailmix 77]

Fine. Giving birth is the worst, most terribly horribly painful excruciating thng you'll ever do. It will be Hell beyond your most evil expectations. You will be scarred for life and will regret it till your dying day. Yes. Giving birth sucks that bad.

Those who say its not that bad are all liars that want to trick you.

Sheesh.

Julez,

When I wrote what I wrote, please understand that I was not taking a swipe at you. I dont see why telling a soon to be first time Mother what it can be like is wrong - Nessa is no fool and I am sure she has done her own research.

Some women will prefer natural childbirth, some will not. Please note that you do not get any extra brownie points - either way. One is not 'right' and the other 'wrong'.

Personally, I am not trying to get extra brownie points. I was simply offering a different point of view. So many people relay ugly stories about birth, so when I have the opportunity I like to share my positive experiences. My own experience as a first time mother to be, I was really quite afraid of L&D since I had heard so many awful things. I was pleasantly surprised when my situation turned out otherwise and as a result, I do like to share my experience with expectant mothers. I have actually had a few thank me after the births of their children, telling me that my story inspired them.

And prior to giving birth the first time, I had actually thought I'd go for the epidural, but since I arrived at the hospital at 7 CM dilated, I was told it was not an option for me. Yes, I felt pain. I even had an episiotomy. I delivered a 8# 7 oz baby and survived. I have never felt more alive than when giving birth. It was a euphoric experience.

Sure, childbirth can be awful, but it can also be awesome. That's all I am trying to say.

I don't know if I can say anything now without offending you - but i'm going to try.

I think it is nice to have stories from both - I think it is great that you shared your positive experience and others have shared theirs (I really do!). My point was that it is different for each woman.

The brownie points comment was not directed at you in particular either - I am just saying - in general - that there always seems to be this aura of disapproval when a woman choses to have drugs, like she is somehow less worthy than her 'natural childbirth' sisters - it's just not true.

[*julez* 124]

Have drugs, don't have drugs. It really makes no difference to me. Either way, you WILL feel pain. I'm not bagging on those who need pain relief. Really. I understand that its different for everyone. Truly I do.

[Chocolot 0]

I am not denying there can be issues and that we have come a long way since mothers so frequently died through childbirth, but rather than dwell on so many negatives I was just trying to point out if it was too bad, many mothers would choose the ultimate contraceptive and never risk another pregnancy to go back for seconds, and thirds etc

My point about modern interventions is that in their place they can save lives, the problem is when they are used unecessarily. Baby's are meant to get squeezed and get hormones from the birth. This doesnt mean a women who has a drugs or a ceasar is thought less of, just that natural birth is just that 'natural'. How nature intended and so far we haven't come up with anything better.

It is sad that so many new mothers have bad experiences and that medical intervention is seen as the norm. Having a baby is a natural function of a womans body and although some women relate such horrific stories the human race would have died out if it was truly so bad.

Not true. Let's assume that a woman has 6 children. One is stillborn. 2 die of childhood accident or disease. 3 live to adulthood. In the birth of the last sibling, the mother is either severely injured and can no longer have children or dies. Despite the fact that 4 people are now dead, 3 children still lived to breeding age and themselves had between 12-20 children. Maybe half die, but that is still between 6-10. That is all that matters. That is how the human race still exists, just a cold numbers game, not a touchy-feely Hallmark game.

Giving birth always has been dangerous. To not respect this is foolish.