Superstitions

[slim 1,525]

This may not be a superstition, but it definitely pissed me off -

So the other day we go to the "Russian shop" and we decided to buy a couple bottles of Baltika. I picked out a nice cardboard box with handles so I could carry around (because I am man, man must be carry) all the bottles we wanted, plus a nice bottle of Georgian wine (the kind in the old terra cotta bottle with the Brothers Grimm looking characters and squigly Georgian writing on it) and I sat the box down on the floor next to the shelf with all the beer so we could load it up.

Well, my wife started to fill the box up by laying the bottles down on their sides and stacking them on top of one another. Needless to say, I didn't see that as the best way to carry around a whole bunch of glass bottles so I stood them all upright and pushed them all together so they wouldn't clang around and possibly slam into each other and break. Kind of one of those "just get out of the way, I'll do it" type deals.

Well, we get up to the cash register and sort through all the piles of ####### people have staged on the counter (for some reason people don't carry their groceries with them, they select an item or two and start "thier pile" next to the register... and they don't wait in line either, it's more of a gaggle) and the woman starts to ring up our items. She counts all the bottles, punches in the price, and then pulls them out of the box and starts to restack them back in the box laying down on their sides just like my wife had done.

First, I got pissed off. Next, I said, "this must be a cultural thing" (Or a woman thing.)

Then, I pulled the box off the counter, restacked them back the way I had them, all the while the women looking at me like, "must be a cultural thing" (Or a man thing.)

They wrapped up the wine bottle in some tissue paper and insisted that it be laid down on it's side, separate from the other bottles, or else it would break. I stuck it in with the fish, pilmeni, and bread, ensuring that it wouldn't roll around. By the time we got out to the Jeep, my wife was already repacking everything the way she wanted. Once the boxes were in the back she ended up stuffing coats and T-shirts down amongst the beer bottles and wrapping up the wine bottle, yet again, in my vest.

What got me about the whole situation was it was like they couldn't help themselves. They HAD TO restack the bottles becuase I was doing it wrong. There was an instantaneous reaction where they saw the bottles sitting upright and they IMMEDIATELY had to place them down on their sides or else they might break. Is this "normal Russian style?"

I'm wondering, was I wrong to stack them like that? "Bottles must be down so they not roll it and move it and cheek-cheek and brrrreak?" Or, should I throw it out there, American style, and say, "look woman. First of all, man is packer. Man must organize and pack everything for moving and carrying. Next, bottles must be up and tight so they don't fall over, roll around and break. I know what I'm doing, just be quiet and get in the Jeep. Relax. I got it."

I'm realizing more and more, as time goes on and I'm "more married" that in situations like this, it's better for me just to STFU and relax buddy, get in the Jeep, and just let her handle it. (There's also no need for an "I told you so" when the bottles break.)

Thoughts? Comments? Has this happened to you?

[Brad and Vika 129]

This may not be a superstition, but it definitely pissed me off -

So the other day we go to the "Russian shop" and we decided to buy a couple bottles of Baltika. I picked out a nice cardboard box with handles so I could carry around (because I am man, man must be carry) all the bottles we wanted, plus a nice bottle of Georgian wine (the kind in the old terra cotta bottle with the Brothers Grimm looking characters and squigly Georgian writing on it) and I sat the box down on the floor next to the shelf with all the beer so we could load it up.

Well, my wife started to fill the box up by laying the bottles down on their sides and stacking them on top of one another. Needless to say, I didn't see that as the best way to carry around a whole bunch of glass bottles so I stood them all upright and pushed them all together so they wouldn't clang around and possibly slam into each other and break. Kind of one of those "just get out of the way, I'll do it" type deals.

Well, we get up to the cash register and sort through all the piles of ####### people have staged on the counter (for some reason people don't carry their groceries with them, they select an item or two and start "thier pile" next to the register... and they don't wait in line either, it's more of a gaggle) and the woman starts to ring up our items. She counts all the bottles, punches in the price, and then pulls them out of the box and starts to restack them back in the box laying down on their sides just like my wife had done.

First, I got pissed off. Next, I said, "this must be a cultural thing" (Or a woman thing.)

Then, I pulled the box off the counter, restacked them back the way I had them, all the while the women looking at me like, "must be a cultural thing" (Or a man thing.)

They wrapped up the wine bottle in some tissue paper and insisted that it be laid down on it's side, separate from the other bottles, or else it would break. I stuck it in with the fish, pilmeni, and bread, ensuring that it wouldn't roll around. By the time we got out to the Jeep, my wife was already repacking everything the way she wanted. Once the boxes were in the back she ended up stuffing coats and T-shirts down amongst the beer bottles and wrapping up the wine bottle, yet again, in my vest.

What got me about the whole situation was it was like they couldn't help themselves. They HAD TO restack the bottles becuase I was doing it wrong. There was an instantaneous reaction where they saw the bottles sitting upright and they IMMEDIATELY had to place them down on their sides or else they might break. Is this "normal Russian style?"

I'm wondering, was I wrong to stack them like that? "Bottles must be down so they not roll it and move it and cheek-cheek and brrrreak?" Or, should I throw it out there, American style, and say, "look woman. First of all, man is packer. Man must organize and pack everything for moving and carrying. Next, bottles must be up and tight so they don't fall over, roll around and break. I know what I'm doing, just be quiet and get in the Jeep. Relax. I got it."

I'm realizing more and more, as time goes on and I'm "more married" that in situations like this, it's better for me just to STFU and relax buddy, get in the Jeep, and just let her handle it. (There's also no need for an "I told you so" when the bottles break.)

Thoughts? Comments? Has this happened to you?

OK Slim, today is a good day for this. So far I have taken Vika to the department store to buy coats because she has no short American style coats, the the AT&T store to prove that she can in fact use her Ukrainian cell phone with an American SIM card, and to the grocery AND Russian store.

I bought her phone cards, salty fish, fruit, flowers, mushrooms, beer, etc. etc. She put some of it in the truck to "help me". We get home, open the hatch, and the beer falls out and several botilke break in the garage. Stop, clean up mess. She takes two bags inside and vanishes. I bring in the groceries, and she drops another bottle on the floor while she is "helping". Stop, clean up mess. She needs to know where things go in our kitchen, but in the middle of unpacking she turns away and starts opening juice because she is tired and thirsty. She spills juice on the floor. Stop, clean up mess. At that point the STFU strategy failed me (she was about to start cutting up a roasted chicken for lunch), and I sent her out of the room before anything else was broken. Then ensued a few minutes of weeping and apologizing for her helplessness. Stop, comfort Vika. After four attempts to call her mother after lunch, she finally allowed me to dial for her, and they are in deep conference now.

All this is to say that I for one, feel your pain. I still wouldn't have it otherwise - and I think we are in the same boat some of the time. Minor bumps in the road, although I do recall making a threat to send her home today if she opened the salty fish in the house. Was that wrong?

[Brad and Vika 129]

Oh yeah, I wanted to add that it is not a cultural thing with the bottles. My ex wife used to refold every piece of laundry I touched because it "wasn't right". I mean, how much harm will it cause to use a towel folded my way right?

[mendeleev 68]

Don't give her soap or she will worry that the relationship will end.

I brought several nice, smelly girly soaps to her several years ago, when she was still in Russia, and she liked it. Then a friend of hers told her of this superstition and she worried for awhile.

[sashitaski 3]

Also heard that if at family dinner a fork falls to the floor, and unexpected guest will arrive hungry.

If a fork calls, it means a female guest is coming, because the word "fork" ("vilka") in Russian is feminine. If a knife ("nozh") falls, it will be a male guest.

And the soap thing...once, when I was getting ready to go back to the U.S. after a summer in Moscow, my (now) mother-in-law gave me about 10 bars of soap....hmm...

Don't forget you may not, under any circumstances, sit on a cold surface, as you will become sterile (women) or get hemhorroids (men).

Also, unmarried people should never sit behind a table corner, or they will never get married.

[Brad and Vika 129]

I never heard the cold seats give men hemmoriods.

Vika just said that in Ukraine giving some one a bar of soap is encouraging them to kill themselves

[amberdima 6]

I never heard the cold seats give men hemmoriods.

Vika just said that in Ukraine giving some one a bar of soap is encouraging them to kill themselves

i've heard the cold surface story from my grandparents. but it was hemorrhoids for both men and women.

[K1researcher 0]

I never heard the cold seats give men hemmoriods.

Vika just said that in Ukraine giving some one a bar of soap is encouraging them to kill themselves

hhah really? what if they just smell bad? :-P

[Brad and Vika 129]

I never heard the cold seats give men hemmoriods.

Vika just said that in Ukraine giving some one a bar of soap is encouraging them to kill themselves

hhah really? what if they just smell bad? :-P

Right. I suggested that rather than the gift indicating the end of a life or relationship, it may just signify the need for a shower.

On a related note (not a superstition exactly), I was told years ago that calling some one in Eastern Europe "stinky" was a grave insult, but calling them stupid wasn't necessarily. The explanation I got was that everybody does stupid things sometimes, so no big deal. I thought stinky could be cured with soap and water, but stupid was a pretty much permanent condition.

Edited February 9, 2009 by Brad and Vika

[slim 1,525]

I noticed that when hanging out with Russians/CIS folks, I was always a lot more "stupid" than I was with Americans. It's nothing for Russians to counter your question with "what are you, stupid?"

Try that with Americans!

Dura/Durak = stupid, is used where we'd normally "tone it down" a little and say, "what are you, crazy?" In English it's insulting to call someone stupid but in Russian, stupid is perfectly acceptable if it seems stupid. (As is most everything else if it seems to be that way. Remember, there's no sugar-coating in this language! If if walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims and flies like a duck.... then it's a "!#*% duck, blat. DURAK! Utka, blat. Bozhe moy. Durak, durak, durak. Blat."

[Corey-Mariya 14]

Hey everyone! A recent event would fit into this category I gave my wife a pre valetine present! 20 roses! She wanted to know if I was impying anything. She told me this before but obviously i forgot So apparently by spending money on roses I wished death on her She does not believe in this superstition but she pointed it out.

[PJB 0]

My husband and I have had huge fights over the evil, even flower bouquets! I put an even number of roses in a vase and he pulls one out and stands it all alone in a glass of water. I finally got him to admit that since we are Russian Orthodox it is against The Church to believe in magic and superstitions. So now he sneaks around and destroys that even flower when I'm not home.

[slim 1,525]

My husband and I have had huge fights over the evil, even flower bouquets! I put an even number of roses in a vase and he pulls one out and stands it all alone in a glass of water. I finally got him to admit that since we are Russian Orthodox it is against The Church to believe in magic and superstitions. So now he sneaks around and destroys that even flower when I'm not home.

[Brad and Vika 129]

My husband and I have had huge fights over the evil, even flower bouquets! I put an even number of roses in a vase and he pulls one out and stands it all alone in a glass of water. I finally got him to admit that since we are Russian Orthodox it is against The Church to believe in magic and superstitions. So now he sneaks around and destroys that even flower when I'm not home.

OMG You ae so fueling the fire in my house

[mox 298]

Yeah, whether they're Orthodox or Atheist, you can't really win.