Irrational blaming

[Slightly Bonkers 0]

Anyone else find that they blame the stupidest things on America?

My new thing is the fact that thumb tacks won't go into the wall. My husband is fed up hearing that America is stupid cos thumb tacks won't go into our wall.

This isn't the fault of Wisconsin, or Green Bay, or our road, or our house, or the crazy idiots who owned our house before us who textured all our walls to hell. Its not even our/my fault for buying cheap thumb tacks. It's Americas fault. Every last square foot of it!

I've also blamed America on the lack of free range eggs at our local store, the crazy sales assistants at our local mall, the unbelievable amount of junk male we get and the snow. All snow. And Ice.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Hehe. Would that be akin to a "bum" in a box?

the unbelievable amount of junk male we get

[Slightly Bonkers 0]

Hee hee! Thats obviously cos I meant to write junk 'post'!!!!!

[SterlingGirl 1]

I know I have, as the USC, bristled at any criticism he's had of things, thinking he's basically referring to ALL of America. The insane thing is, I'm the LAST person anyone should ever mistake for a nationalist.

For instance, we were trying to get a game at GameStop (horrible place), and when he was too apprehensive to buy anything because of how expensive it looked (even though it's dollars-to-pounds, 60 bucks LOOKS like more than 40 quid), he got in kind of a sulky mood. And then I got a bit irritated, because I simply thought he was blaming America.

Sounds stupid, but yeah.

[StillThePrettiest 3]

I think it's really normal to get defensive when you feel like someone's being critical, sometimes even when you secretly agree with them... it's weird and irrational, but most people do it, in my experience

I blame lots of things on America too... but I still think they're mainly justified

eg lack of public transport, indifference to looking after the environment, lack of recycling... I've lived in two other countries - well, three, sort of - and it's different here on those matters to ANY of them

other things I try to take a step back from, and tell my husband that I've only NOTICED this particular thing in America, but does he think it's endemic, or just coincidence? makes for some interesting conversations

[Jeraly 4]

I know I do but I'll be darned if I can think of any Free range eggs is defo an issue though - we can get them but there just isn't the range that there is in the UK... and J begrudges spending the money on them.

Even though he has been to a battery farm on a school visit once

I still make him buy them

[JamalNTam 1]

Guilty as charged!! I just can't help it!!

[Melissa&Vadim 0]

I love the honesty of your posts!

I have to say, this is definitely a conflict at our house...I don't have any sense of humor anymore each day when I have to hear about how much cooler and bigger and better things are in the country capital where my husband came from. OK, so of course I already have enough criticisms about the small town where we live, but to have them pounded into my head every day does at times drive me mad!

Has anyone else gotten to the point where they're looking for a new place to live, just to end this situation?

[aidan80 9]

I'm also guilty of blaming quite a few things on America and it annoys the wife! I don't blame her I'd be annoyed too... I mean stupid things like real food.. e.g. bacon.. how hard is it to get real bacon over here or chocolate that isn't like eating sand.. why does it have to be 35c - 40c almost all year round, why are their insect the size of small birds, I don't like wooden houses, fed up hearing country music everywhere, why are we paying the phone company for getting an incoming call/text.. I've had a few more complaints but I'm still adjusting.. it isn't easy to go what what was/is normal to this. It's a big shock to the system some of it I'll never get used to no matter how hard I try it just seems wrong.

[JamalNTam 1]

Lol!! I can't complain about the weather here in Tucson, I love it so much!!! But like others, there are many little things ... why does everybody use checks??!! I never used a check in my life before I came here - Direct Deposit and Standing Orders just seem so much easier! And if checks are used so much, how come they aren't free with the account? How come there are no fee-less ATMs other than the one you bank with? Why is 100% juice so expensive and why can you only get orange, apple and grape? I wanted some oveltine the other day so I got it at the store and yet again I couldn't be pleased! lol! It was far to sweet!!

Another thing that bugs me beyond beleif is if I, as a person who isn't from the U.S., says ANYTHING that is slightly negative about something here then the immediate response is - "go back to your country, we never asked you anyway"!! (a little bit of venting really - just happened to me!!)

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

It's called culture shock and it goes both ways. I'm an American that's lived abroad since Aug. 2004. First in Germany, then Norway and now in the UAE. There were things I just couldn't get used to like the stern grumpiness and complaining of Germans, the binge drinking, coldness, darkness and lack of affordable entertainment options in Norway and don't even get me started on the hypocrisy and problems here in the UAE.

But at the same time when I lived in Europe, Europeans would blame everything that went wrong in their country or lives on America. And if they discovered I'm American they would vent to me as if I were single-handedly responsible for everything my country has done or is about to do.

Apparently, if an American sells a hamburger a Frenchman's wife cheats on him and if an American happens to fart then a German loses his job. There are things I don't like about the states but Europeans make it so that I'm overeager to get back there.

[broma25 2]

I'm also guilty of blaming quite a few things on America and it annoys the wife! I don't blame her I'd be annoyed too... I mean stupid things like real food.. e.g. bacon.. how hard is it to get real bacon over here or chocolate that isn't like eating sand.. why does it have to be 35c - 40c almost all year round, why are their insect the size of small birds, I don't like wooden houses, fed up hearing country music everywhere, why are we paying the phone company for getting an incoming call/text.. I've had a few more complaints but I'm still adjusting.. it isn't easy to go what what was/is normal to this. It's a big shock to the system some of it I'll never get used to no matter how hard I try it just seems wrong.

I think I have complained about most of these......and still do...lol

[HighwayStar 0]

Lol!! I can't complain about the weather here in Tucson, I love it so much!!! But like others, there are many little things ... why does everybody use checks??!! I never used a check in my life before I came here - Direct Deposit and Standing Orders just seem so much easier! And if checks are used so much, how come they aren't free with the account? How come there are no fee-less ATMs other than the one you bank with? Why is 100% juice so expensive and why can you only get orange, apple and grape? I wanted some oveltine the other day so I got it at the store and yet again I couldn't be pleased! lol! It was far to sweet!!

Another thing that bugs me beyond beleif is if I, as a person who isn't from the U.S., says ANYTHING that is slightly negative about something here then the immediate response is - "go back to your country, we never asked you anyway"!! (a little bit of venting really - just happened to me!!)

ATMs in Italy work exactly in the same way - if you use one you don't bank with, you can end up paying 3 or 4 euros extra for withdrawing funds. As for checks, I don't remember them being free - very little comes free with bank accounts in Italy, so I suppose nothing will really surprise me once I get one here (I've been in the US for less than 3 weeks).

As regards the 'go back to your country' thing, I know for sure it happens everywhere. It did happen to me in my own country, in a town some 250 km north of my home town of Rome where I had ended up because of my job. Italians love to criticise Italy every single minute of the day, but 'outsiders' are not allowed to do the same.

Now I'm going to say something that won't make me very popular, but which I think should be said... Far too many people don't get enough information before taking the step of uprooting themselves and moving to another country. I've seen it happen even for temporary moves, such as in the case of diplomats or similar people, who anyway at least know they will eventually go back to their own country at some point. In my case, I knew I was leaving for good, and for this reason it was essential for me to 'do my homework' and learn as much as I could about the USA. This site has helped me enormously, though of course the biggest input has come from my fiancé, and from my previous stays here. Culture shock is no laughing matter, but everything also depends on how adaptable we are to new situations.

Edited December 8, 2008 by HighwayStar

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Complaining is an art sister!

[StillThePrettiest 3]

I think some valid points have been made, but I don't think it JUST comes down to culture shock... things like this are complex; all sorts of things have an impact... even the fact that unlike many other countries, (certain) new immigrants here are forced to sit around for months before they can start working - all reasons for this aside, it not only delays the person starting to make a new life for themselves (at least as far as work is concerned, and for most of us that's a big part of life), but also allows them time for introspection that may or may not end up being healthy

and we ALL compare; we compare all sorts of things, our whole lives long; if we're being fair we're usually able to see where things are BETTER in our new homeland, as well as where things are worse, but obviously sometimes you're in no mood to be fair

and on some counts, some things just are worse... the things I singled out above, like lack of public transportation, attitudes to recycling, availability of environmentally friendly products, etc, I think quite objectively are far worse where I've moved to than anywhere I've ever lived... of course just as objectively, the cost of living is lower, we have more space, etc (though of course a lot of THAT is an outcome of all manner of other unfair global practices which also get majorly up my nose, but I might not get into that now )

and personally, with all its issues, I'd pick Europe over America in a heartbeat, but then that's just me