Serving Divorce/Annulment Papers...help!!!

[KandD 1]

If you have a lawyer, why doesnt he or she get him served. Isnt that part of the filing fee?

[When2RNLove 6]

I have filed an annulment with my local county court today and am ready to have my husband served with the papers. Only problem is how do I do this? He is very unstable and highly disagreeable with anything I say and I'm afraid that if I call him and say, "Hey so and so is going to meet up with you to give you the annulment papers." He's going to freak out and not agree to meet up with my friend.

Is it better to surprise him? If I'm going to surprise him, what is a good way to get him to meet someone to surprise him with the papers?

Do you think its better to pay someone to do it or have a friend who is available to? Do the people you pay help you find them as well? Are they costly?

I don't have his current address so surprising him randomly at home is not an option.

Please help!

Several good ideas here. A process server shoudn't cost no more than around $50. Also place an add in the local paper which is also legally binding and if he fails to show up in court after the add has run it course, thats on him.

[MihaelaNYS 10]

I`m even more confused reading this topic. Doesn't really have to do with immigration...

and the strategy: if the annulment will be contested, I'll just turn it in a divorce sounds like you don't really have a strong case for annulment (and you know it) and you actually want to ,,take your best shut at" your spouse. It sounds vindictive and if he is really smart and resourceful, can turn it against you in court. When you do anything in an attempt to hurt, distroy rather then separate, from your spouse can always get a boomerang effect (especially if you cannot sustain the allegations with HARD evidence).

In such disputes, if there are no considerable property to split .... the real winners are only the attorneys.

An uncontested divorce is the easyest and cheapest way to get out of a bad marriage.

If you "take away his future " here, he might want to "hunt you down" and seek revanche, while illegal here.... You win an enemy, one that will have nothing to loose ......hmmmmm.....

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I`m even more confused reading this topic. Doesn't really have to do with immigration...

and the strategy: if the annulment will be contested, I'll just turn it in a divorce sounds like you don't really have a strong case for annulment (and you know it) and you actually want to ,,take your best shut at" your spouse. It sounds vindictive and if he is really smart and resourceful, can turn it against you in court. When you do anything in an attempt to hurt, distroy rather then separate, from your spouse can always get a boomerang effect (especially if you cannot sustain the allegations with HARD evidence).

In such disputes, if there are no considerable property to split .... the real winners are only the attorneys.

An uncontested divorce is the easyest and cheapest way to get out of a bad marriage.

If you "take away his future " here, he might want to "hunt you down" and seek revanche, while illegal here.... You win an enemy, one that will have nothing to loose ......hmmmmm.....

If you cant serve him, you can always publish. I think you should not worry about being vindictive. I think you should worry more about just getting divorced. You can always write a letter to USCIS saying that he did whatever he did.. bla bla bla. But the reality is that being vindictive usually doesnt work and its that behavior that may have contributed to how nasty he is being right now as well. Try being nice and saying we need to just get divorced.. If he doesnt, you can publish on grounds of abandonment and just let the marriage go. It sounds like you still love him enough to be pissed and you arent really thinking about extricating yourself as much as just hounding him. He doesnt want to be with you anymore.. and my guess is that he already knows he can remove conditions without you and has moved on with his life and really doesnt care about your threats. He probably has someone else in the other state he is in or whatever place he is in and isnt really caring what you do at this point. Thats why you just need to do what you have to do go on. At least you dont have kids with him trying to track him down for child support. My advice? Just move on and dont worry about kicking him out of the usa and all that jive

[confuseddd 0]

I`m even more confused reading this topic. Doesn't really have to do with immigration...

and the strategy: if the annulment will be contested, I'll just turn it in a divorce sounds like you don't really have a strong case for annulment (and you know it) and you actually want to ,,take your best shut at" your spouse. It sounds vindictive and if he is really smart and resourceful, can turn it against you in court. When you do anything in an attempt to hurt, distroy rather then separate, from your spouse can always get a boomerang effect (especially if you cannot sustain the allegations with HARD evidence).

In such disputes, if there are no considerable property to split .... the real winners are only the attorneys.

An uncontested divorce is the easyest and cheapest way to get out of a bad marriage.

If you "take away his future " here, he might want to "hunt you down" and seek revanche, while illegal here.... You win an enemy, one that will have nothing to loose ......hmmmmm.....

If you cant serve him, you can always publish. I think you should not worry about being vindictive. I think you should worry more about just getting divorced. You can always write a letter to USCIS saying that he did whatever he did.. bla bla bla. But the reality is that being vindictive usually doesnt work and its that behavior that may have contributed to how nasty he is being right now as well. Try being nice and saying we need to just get divorced.. If he doesnt, you can publish on grounds of abandonment and just let the marriage go. It sounds like you still love him enough to be pissed and you arent really thinking about extricating yourself as much as just hounding him. He doesnt want to be with you anymore.. and my guess is that he already knows he can remove conditions without you and has moved on with his life and really doesnt care about your threats. He probably has someone else in the other state he is in or whatever place he is in and isnt really caring what you do at this point. Thats why you just need to do what you have to do go on. At least you dont have kids with him trying to track him down for child support. My advice? Just move on and dont worry about kicking him out of the usa and all that jive

Leave to the judgemental people on visa journey to come along and start spouting a bunch of stuff they really have no idea what they're talking about. I love visa journey for all the friends I have made and for those that reply to posters who are asking for help, not asking for judgements about their decision to either marry or separate from a foreign spouse. Did I ask your opinions about which option to file?

Excuse me, but where in my posts did I say I did not have a strong case against my husband? Just because I am stating my options of turning it into a divorce if the annulment doesn't go through, does by no means mean I have no case for an annulment. And turn it around on me at court? Good one.

I don't appreciate the accusations from either of you for being so-called "vindictive" either. Who are you to judge WHAT I am doing to my husband and WHY I am chosing to file an annulment versus a divorce? And being vindictive contributed to how he acts towards me today? That's real rich. Thanks for the support. Do you two know what I've been through? Do you even care to know? No, its the poor immigrant! What about preserving his green card? What about his chances of being in America? Not the USC who has put up more than you can imagine. Have you said you felt sorry for me and wonder why I would take the steps to protect myself and do what I am doing? Thanks for caring about my husband though! I think its time I care about myself for a change. Something I haven't done for a very long time.

And how is filing an annulment equal to "hounding" someone? I find its the opposite. I also never said he didn't want to be with me. You assume the worst, as usual, Hanging In There. I've read your posts and I know you've also been through a lot but your experiences do not mean everyone else's is the same.

I knew I shouldn't have bothered posting here. I thank those of you who weren't judgemental in your replies but tried your best to help me. You are the kinds of people that are important members around Visa Journey. Too bad there are always negative and judgemental people roaming around every post ready to pounce. I've read so many posts where people were judged unnecessarily and now I've become one of them. There are loads of people who leave Visa Journey because of the harrassment and have so much knowledge and information to share that was wasted. Next time you want to judge someone in a nasty way you should think about things before you click "add reply".

[William33 110]

Closed at the request of the OP.