Physically/emotionally abused by USC "WIFE"

[diadromous mermaid 36]

strandedlost,

I am not focused on anything other than that which you have shared.

You appear concerned that your vindictive wife can hamper your residency, or citizenship, and I am attempting to be factual and clear as to what chances there are that any allegation she has would convince USCIS to look a little closer at your case. I brought up the facts that you've shared in the past to demonstrate to you inconsistencies in your story. I am not commenting on whether they existed, but rather on what impact they might have on your residency.

Perhaps there was a reason for choosing to stay in an abusive relationship, beyond an attempt to salvage the marriage. There's nothing inherently wrong,mind you, in remaining for sufficient time to secure citizenship, prior to leaving. What you should be concerned about is whether you represented to USCIS at this last stage in the process that the marriage was sustaining and viable. The requirements for marriage-based citizenship are that the couple be living together in a viable marriage. Otherwise, the alien has to wait two more years to become eligible. That's all I am saying.

It appears that you left and returned. The question becomes at whaty time did you leave and at what time did you return?

Are you sure you are completely innocent of manipulating immigration laws, yourself?

ever since arriving,.....i've been subject to emotional, physical abuse from my USC wife. I have also been subject to emotional abuse from both of her parents. This has happened on a weekly basis now for 3+ years.

had my N-400 interview, passed, taken the oath 1 month ago, but i just can't deal with it anymore, i want to leave her.

Anything i ever did or say, if it wasn't what my wife or her parents wanted they would always threaten me with getting deported and they would "make sure that it happened". in their exact words.

So i didn't know what to do. I held on through the conditional green card stage, i held on through removing conditions (THAT was a nightmare of a wait for a year) and i held on through naturalization, wondering to myself "what do i do,? how do i leave her???"

I didn't/don't know what to do. No matter what i did.....what i said, if it wasn't to their liking they would always say something like "you do this or we're calling immigration,"

Then my wife would say "you do this, or i'll f@#$ you and your life over and your immigration status and make sure you get deported if you don't do as i say".

I never used her because im from a 1st world country where we are in the top 5 economically and living standards. Its just that the reason WHY i didn't leave her and hung on this long is 2 reasons....

1.- I didn't, still don't know HOW to leave her, im afraid of repercussions after i leave her, afraid for my life.

2.- Constant daily threats of calling immigration just kept me hanging in so i could just "get done with the immigration ####### so they wouldn't have that to use against me anymore.

EVERY TIME i had to go to get my biometrics appointment, or have my N-400 interview....it came with ALOT of conditions...if i didn't do this....or i didn't do that,....she wasn't going to take me to get the fingerprints done, or take me to the interview.

She constantly ses that "i owe her everything for bringing me here"....Once again,...im from a 1st world country, and was better off economically where i was.

Now im sure she along with her parents called immigration and made complaints against me, plenty of times. I was surprised WHY it was never brought up at the n-400 interview.....very surprised, im not sure if they really did call immigration and made complaints, or just blowing smoke. OR they actually did and immigration disregarded it, im not sure, or if the complaints maybe got lost in the system.

I consulted a lawyer, he wanted me to leave her during the lifting of conditions phase. Although i'd been abused physically MANY times, had a knife held to to my throat, chocked me, kicked me, punched me, stabbed me in the leg (which required stitches and i NEVER went to the hospital because i didn't want the doctors to ask how and then she threatened to kill me if i did go), scratched me, i never called the police, because

1. Im a guy, and felt the police wouldn't believe me

2. Her parents are well known in the town for over 30+ years (reputation)

3. wanted to work things out with her (crazy of me)

I never have hit her, although i have defended myself and pushed her off me when she had a knife at my throat and put her in a hold that she couldn't get out of to prevent her from stabbing me again.

I also didn't trust the justice system, and didn't want things to backfire on me through a VAWA believing that hardly any guys use this route............so basically i've just shut my mouth, held it in and kept cool, saying to myself "thank god this is almost over!!! get done with this stupid immigration ####### and leave her!!!" .....because thats what she ALWAYS threatened me with,...still does!!! even though i have been a citizen for a month. so i figured to myself...

......."well if you get the immigration part over-and-done-with that is something less they can't threaten you over anymore".

So now that i am wanting to leave her, and basically im ready to walk out and leave ANY day, im afraid that her and her parents will call immigration and make ALOT of complaints....more so,.....im afraid for my life. Im afraid that she will come after me in a rage of anger and try to kill me, and her parents, will feel very embarrassed about the situation because of their reputation and everyone will know in the town.

Even though im now naturalized (1 month since oath), and we've been married 4 years, is there a certain time frame that i have to wait in order to leave her so that immigration won't accuse me of fraud? or more so, process complaints that her and her parents will make to immigration?....

Can she claim fraud??? if so....how??? I did enter into it with good intentions.

The marriage started out well for the first 3-5 months,...then from there...it went downhill completely and i've just stuck it out since.

How many times can her and her parents complain to immigration and they take it seriously? I've heard that you can only complain once with very good evidence (what my lawyer told me) and that every complaint made, is recorded in the sense that if immigration starts to see daily/weekly complaints about an immigrant spouse, they will disregard it as just a spouse "who is sour" over the break -up.

If they make a complaint, and immigration somehow believes her and her parents and processes it, and even though im naturalized, what is the process??? am i sent a letter to be interviewed at the local district office even as a naturalized citizen? or does it go straight to an immigration judge?? I never made complaints to the police although people at my workplace saw my injuries. I took no photos of when she left marks.

I know her and her parents are excellent in lying, and making up stories, which is why i am asking.

What do i do.....how can i leave her?.....as a naturalized citizen...what are my rights? can i really get deported??? even as a naturalized citizen??...even when i entered into the marriage in good faaith (we both did)

Help me please.........

.........yes i am....why wouldn't i be???

then again i guess you've never been in an abusive relationship not knowing what to do.....

I haven't read his previous posts but I still find it quite odd that the OP keeps refering to his country and his financial status and living standard in his country but still did not want to go back or get out of the situationafter being through so much abuse. If I was financially secure and had a better living standard, the first thing I would so is try to go back.

.........bit hard when you've been here and are established to just pack up, go back and start all over again with the age i am......

Diadromous is right. Something seems fishy here. If an immigrant is abused by a USC spouse, they are eligible for expedited processing of LPR. We have to consider that there are two sides to this story especially given conflicting posts by this user. We shouldn't be so keen to jump on the wife when something here does not pass the smell test. There definitely seems there are some schenanagens going on. People who stick around "trying to work things out" don't say things like "thank god this is almost over!!! get done with this stupid immigration ####### and leave her!!!" or "what do i do,? how do i leave her???" We all support each other but we need to consider all angles.

yeah we do say things like that.....did you not read the part where i have had a knife held to my throat......

and what people are not looking at is the abuse that has happened to me.......

mermaid is too stupidly concentrated in only the immgration side of it.....but yet fails to read the abuse side of it.

and ANYONE who has been abused and gets threatened daily with immigration and doesn't have many options of course will just hang in and see whats ahead next.

in fact,...if memory serves me right...there was a post a few days ago in regards to a similar situation, and people were commenting on how they were threatened by their spouses or ex-spouses in regards to immigration.

they were getting support....

so basically im just wanting to know....

as a citizen...what are my rights.....what can/can't she do.

[strandedlost 0]

Ok...to state the facts....last year as i was going to do a VAWA...never did it...i did leave her for a few weeks, i was going to file alone....never did...just went back to her as stupid as i was didn't know what to do with myself, where to go, no-one to turn to.

Stayed with her....things got a little bit better, stayed until citizenship,....some days its good,....some days its bad,...but this life with her isn't for me.

No technically i believe i haven't misrepresented....i left here for a few weeks...but we got back together...stayed together, but it was as stated...good some days, bad some days, more bad than good though, so....not for me....

am i in the wrong then?

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Did you divorce, as you said in an earlier post, and file a I-751 waiver?

Ok...to state the facts....last year as i was going to do a VAWA...never did it...i did leave her for a few weeks, i was going to file alone....never did...just went back to her as stupid as i was didn't know what to do with myself, where to go, no-one to turn to.

Stayed with her....things got a little bit better, stayed until citizenship,....some days its good,....some days its bad,...but this life with her isn't for me.

No technically i believe i haven't misrepresented....i left here for a few weeks...but we got back together...stayed together, but it was as stated...good some days, bad some days, more bad than good though, so....not for me....

am i in the wrong then?

[Laura+Tom 2]

Ok...to state the facts....last year as i was going to do a VAWA...never did it...i did leave her for a few weeks, i was going to file alone....never did...just went back to her as stupid as i was didn't know what to do with myself, where to go, no-one to turn to.

Stayed with her....things got a little bit better, stayed until citizenship,....some days its good,....some days its bad,...but this life with her isn't for me.

No technically i believe i haven't misrepresented....i left here for a few weeks...but we got back together...stayed together, but it was as stated...good some days, bad some days, more bad than good though, so....not for me....

am i in the wrong then?

Well personally, I would have been long gone once it started getting bad. All you can do is get as far away as you can and get on with your own life. Maybe contact a battered husbands association aswell.

[strandedlost 0]

Did you divorce, as you said in an earlier post, and file a I-751 waiver?

Ok...to state the facts....last year as i was going to do a VAWA...never did it...i did leave her for a few weeks, i was going to file alone....never did...just went back to her as stupid as i was didn't know what to do with myself, where to go, no-one to turn to.

Stayed with her....things got a little bit better, stayed until citizenship,....some days its good,....some days its bad,...but this life with her isn't for me.

No technically i believe i haven't misrepresented....i left here for a few weeks...but we got back together...stayed together, but it was as stated...good some days, bad some days, more bad than good though, so....not for me....

am i in the wrong then?

No i didn't, but was very close to.

[Old Dominion 26]

You mean you haven't begun to move out and go it alone yet? What's taking you so long???

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Then, unless there are any particulars that have not been shared here, I see no issue.

Did you divorce, as you said in an earlier post, and file a I-751 waiver?

Ok...to state the facts....last year as i was going to do a VAWA...never did it...i did leave her for a few weeks, i was going to file alone....never did...just went back to her as stupid as i was didn't know what to do with myself, where to go, no-one to turn to.

Stayed with her....things got a little bit better, stayed until citizenship,....some days its good,....some days its bad,...but this life with her isn't for me.

No technically i believe i haven't misrepresented....i left here for a few weeks...but we got back together...stayed together, but it was as stated...good some days, bad some days, more bad than good though, so....not for me....

am i in the wrong then?

No i didn't, but was very close to.

[justashooter 430]

You've gotten your answer. You're a US citizen now, you can't be deported.

I do find it amusing that so many people are quick to be suspicious when it's a male poster claiming abuse though. So many times when it's the female, it's a different story.

It's fairly well documented that in the vast majority of spousal abuse cases responded to by police, the female admits to throwing the first punch. until recent changes in statute, however, usually the man was the one arrested, either because he responded with excessive force, or because of stereotyping. these days, police are expected to arrest both or none, in most jurisdictions.

being married to a physically abusive woman is not easy. i could tell you about that. still, you had children, or family pressure, or monetary dependence, or, or, or, you just grew up in a family where your parents loved and respected one another, and you thought that if you just held on long enough things would work out.

[Emancipation 2]

mermaid is too stupidly concentrated in only the immgration side of it.....but yet fails to read the abuse side of it.

this IS an immigration form ..... and mermaid & stupid do not belong in the same sentence.. you should be more careful who you go slamming around here.. Mermaid is one of the smartest people aboard the good ship VJ

[Anna and Jeff 3]

The best advice I can give is to go to a divorce lawyer who also deals with immigration issues. Tell them everything. Be completely honest and let them know things about you which others are not privy to but your wife will be sure to bring up. Get their advice on what to do after you have told them everything. Do not stay with an abusive spouse, get the divorce.

(personal opinion)

Most people would have left due to that abuse. Did you stay because you wanted citizenship or the marriage to work? It sounds like it was for citizenship because of what you endured. Also the way she held it over your head. I think that is why everyone is a little suspicious (not to mention your previous post). It sounds like now you are more worried about your citizenship and not the marriage. Fair to say?

You sound like an intelligent person but you are still worried. Like others, I have to conclude there is a bit more to the story which is the source for that worry. Go tell it to your lawyer, not the forum.

BTW, I am not swayed by the argument that you come from a "first world country" and you would have been better off economically there. What does that matter when it comes to visa fraud? The country you started out in has criminals of all sorts and to think there is no fraud for US citizenship is a little far-fetched. You obviously do not want to go back and to be honest the part about your age I don't believe either. Its OK to say you love it in America and don't want to go back because this is now your home not there, honest!

[LorriQ 0]

If there was no change - we'd have no butterflies!

[Old Dominion 26]

Anna says what many posters may have wanted to say. Because you haven't yet taken any real action to get out of that mess, there must be more to the story than you are willing to share. I also doubt the bit about your age (75?) and the affluence of your country of origin. But neither is relevant to this situation, is it? You are here, stuck, and motionless.

[Ban Hammer 13,113]

mermaid is too stupidly concentrated in only the immgration side of it.....but yet fails to read the abuse side of it.

this IS an immigration form ..... and mermaid & stupid do not belong in the same sentence.. you should be more careful who you go slamming around here.. Mermaid is one of the smartest people aboard the good ship VJ

ita with you

for the poster of that, mermaid is one of the best sources of advice regarding this situation. don't bite the hand that feeds you.