Relationships not for love, but for an easy Green Card

[KandD 1]

I just did alittle online shopping , put my order in; and my package should be delivered soon!

[peejay 327]

My wife is now a US citizen and we are just about 3 1/2 months shy of being married 5 years. So at this point she doesn't really need me for US residency. However, I now suspect she married me because I'm an easy lay and am gainfully employed.

[TayL 0]

The relationship is for love. The marriage is more for the greencard and also to prove that our relationship is out of love to his family. We're not big marrying types. We're more the type to cohabit for the rest of our lives. We looked into every single option out there in order to be able to cohabit. I even found a job at one point, in his area. The problem was how long the "unskilled worker" visas are backed up. The people who were willing to hire me weren't willing to wait months or even years (sometimes 3 years or more!) for me to get an unskilled worker visa. Even if I finished my degree, my area of expertise isn't on the "list" for one of the other visas. We looked and looked and looked. Finally, we decided that getting married was our best bet. It took us months to warm up to the idea and then he "re-proposed" once we were attached to the idea of marrying for more than just being able to live together.

If I am unable to move to be with him, it is unlikely that we will ever live together. We'd likely stay in a long distance relationship. Why? He can't stand the cold. When it gets cold, his joints all go stiff and he can't get out of bed in the morning. This is why he's never gone farther north than Oklahoma for very long. He prefers to stay as far south as he can. He'd be miserable in a Canadian winter.

[Gemmie 142]

The relationship is for love. The marriage is more for the greencard and also to prove that our relationship is out of love to his family. We're not big marrying types. We're more the type to cohabit for the rest of our lives. We looked into every single option out there in order to be able to cohabit. I even found a job at one point, in his area. The problem was how long the "unskilled worker" visas are backed up. The people who were willing to hire me weren't willing to wait months or even years (sometimes 3 years or more!) for me to get an unskilled worker visa. Even if I finished my degree, my area of expertise isn't on the "list" for one of the other visas. We looked and looked and looked. Finally, we decided that getting married was our best bet. It took us months to warm up to the idea and then he "re-proposed" once we were attached to the idea of marrying for more than just being able to live together.

Ditto.

I'm in the middle.. I guess you could say I'm marrying him for a green card because it's the only way to live together. The only other option is a work or student visa, and they're too limited.

We just want to be together.

[Benika 1]

The relationship is for love. The marriage is more for the greencard and also to prove that our relationship is out of love to his family. We're not big marrying types. We're more the type to cohabit for the rest of our lives. We looked into every single option out there in order to be able to cohabit. I even found a job at one point, in his area. The problem was how long the "unskilled worker" visas are backed up. The people who were willing to hire me weren't willing to wait months or even years (sometimes 3 years or more!) for me to get an unskilled worker visa. Even if I finished my degree, my area of expertise isn't on the "list" for one of the other visas. We looked and looked and looked. Finally, we decided that getting married was our best bet. It took us months to warm up to the idea and then he "re-proposed" once we were attached to the idea of marrying for more than just being able to live together.

Ditto.

I'm in the middle.. I guess you could say I'm marrying him for a green card because it's the only way to live together. The only other option is a work or student visa, and they're too limited.

We just want to be together.

Ditto.

If there was any way for us to be together that did not include marraige we would jump at it. We also seriously looked into other options, but really there are not any. He is also mil. so its a double wammy for us. Without us being married I cant live with him onbase (cant even get onbase really).

I am amused watching a good friend of mine right now. She wants the white wedding, ring, white picket fence ... man optional. She would marry about anyone just to get married. I am the opposite. I have always been a total free spirit travelling the world. I would be happy just to live with Paul for the rest of my life without a ring on my finger.

Personally I think a lot of American marry way to quick. I have had more than one friend tell me that they "knew" they wanted to get married after a month ... and then see them getting divorced after a year. But its a cultural and legal thing. A relationship that does not include marraige has no rights. Some good friends of mine in the UK has been together 20 years, has 2 kids together, and maybe one day when they have money for it and "if they are sure it will work out" they will get married. They also have basically the same legal right than a married couple. This would be impossible in the US.

So yeah, I am in a relationship for love, but I am getting married for a green card.

[Chocolot 0]

maybe I am just too cynical but u really think anyone will answer anything but the pc?

and although I didn't need to be married there wasnt much alternative, not even a nine month fiance visa like Oz has. Of course if we could have lived together for over a year we could still immigrate to Oz as a couple, even had we been the same sex.

I just hope my USC loves my country as much as he thinks he will and his immigration journey there is easier than mine has been!

[Big Papa Zone 93]

The relationship is for love. The marriage is more for the greencard and also to prove that our relationship is out of love to his family. We're not big marrying types. We're more the type to cohabit for the rest of our lives. We looked into every single option out there in order to be able to cohabit. I even found a job at one point, in his area. The problem was how long the "unskilled worker" visas are backed up. The people who were willing to hire me weren't willing to wait months or even years (sometimes 3 years or more!) for me to get an unskilled worker visa. Even if I finished my degree, my area of expertise isn't on the "list" for one of the other visas. We looked and looked and looked. Finally, we decided that getting married was our best bet. It took us months to warm up to the idea and then he "re-proposed" once we were attached to the idea of marrying for more than just being able to live together.

Ditto.

I'm in the middle.. I guess you could say I'm marrying him for a green card because it's the only way to live together. The only other option is a work or student visa, and they're too limited.

We just want to be together.

Ditto.

If there was any way for us to be together that did not include marraige we would jump at it. We also seriously looked into other options, but really there are not any. He is also mil. so its a double wammy for us. Without us being married I cant live with him onbase (cant even get onbase really).

I am amused watching a good friend of mine right now. She wants the white wedding, ring, white picket fence ... man optional. She would marry about anyone just to get married. I am the opposite. I have always been a total free spirit travelling the world. I would be happy just to live with Paul for the rest of my life without a ring on my finger.

Personally I think a lot of American marry way to quick. I have had more than one friend tell me that they "knew" they wanted to get married after a month ... and then see them getting divorced after a year. But its a cultural and legal thing. A relationship that does not include marraige has no rights. Some good friends of mine in the UK has been together 20 years, has 2 kids together, and maybe one day when they have money for it and "if they are sure it will work out" they will get married. They also have basically the same legal right than a married couple. This would be impossible in the US.

So yeah, I am in a relationship for love, but I am getting married for a green card.

And another ditto right here - how refreshingly honest you all are. Yep, me and 'er indoors would also be perfectly happy just cohabiting, but rules is rules, so we're getting hitched.

[Galateia 1]

Wild horses wouldn't have dragged me south of the border, so I answered 'for love', although like others on this page, if we'd had another option for cohabiting without marriage we would have done so.

We would have gotten married eventually, this was just several years sooner that we would have preferred.

Comedy answer: I couldn't wait for the pleasure of spending an entire paycheck on blood tests, what Canadian wouldn't jump at the chance of a lower quality of living?

[Laura+Tom 2]

The relationship is for love. The marriage is more for the greencard and also to prove that our relationship is out of love to his family. We're not big marrying types. We're more the type to cohabit for the rest of our lives. We looked into every single option out there in order to be able to cohabit. I even found a job at one point, in his area. The problem was how long the "unskilled worker" visas are backed up. The people who were willing to hire me weren't willing to wait months or even years (sometimes 3 years or more!) for me to get an unskilled worker visa. Even if I finished my degree, my area of expertise isn't on the "list" for one of the other visas. We looked and looked and looked. Finally, we decided that getting married was our best bet. It took us months to warm up to the idea and then he "re-proposed" once we were attached to the idea of marrying for more than just being able to live together.

Ditto.

I'm in the middle.. I guess you could say I'm marrying him for a green card because it's the only way to live together. The only other option is a work or student visa, and they're too limited.

We just want to be together.

Ditto.

If there was any way for us to be together that did not include marraige we would jump at it. We also seriously looked into other options, but really there are not any. He is also mil. so its a double wammy for us. Without us being married I cant live with him onbase (cant even get onbase really).

I am amused watching a good friend of mine right now. She wants the white wedding, ring, white picket fence ... man optional. She would marry about anyone just to get married. I am the opposite. I have always been a total free spirit travelling the world. I would be happy just to live with Paul for the rest of my life without a ring on my finger.

Personally I think a lot of American marry way to quick. I have had more than one friend tell me that they "knew" they wanted to get married after a month ... and then see them getting divorced after a year. But its a cultural and legal thing. A relationship that does not include marraige has no rights. Some good friends of mine in the UK has been together 20 years, has 2 kids together, and maybe one day when they have money for it and "if they are sure it will work out" they will get married. They also have basically the same legal right than a married couple. This would be impossible in the US.

So yeah, I am in a relationship for love, but I am getting married for a green card.

And another ditto right here - how refreshingly honest you all are. Yep, me and 'er indoors would also be perfectly happy just cohabiting, but rules is rules, so we're getting hitched.

Don't think I am jumping on the bandwagon here but after thinking about it abit more, I suppose I am marrying for a greencard. But the difference is I am doing it to be with Tom and I am not going to dump him as soon as I get there. Tom and I would be happy just living together if we both lived in the same country, but we don't. I echo Benika, with Tom being military I wouldn't be entitled to any support if he was sent anyway. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy I am getting married to Tom but sometimes I wish it was in different circumstances and I know he feels that way too.

[liraC 2]

TRUE LOVE..

[Zee Bee 61]

In all honesty I am using him: getting Ghanaian citizenship through marriage to my hubby is easier than getting it through my parents.

It just happens that we love each other and right now we want to be here.

We are planning on going back to live in Ghana, probably after he uses me for citizenship

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I guess if it were true, I would have ditched him a long time ago and I am the USC. We went for my German aufenthaltstitel (their green card) first. My husband got his US green card a few years later.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

But OF COURSE I married the redhead for a greencard everyone knows that!

puh-leaze.

Edited November 28, 2008 by *Len*

[DanielParul 50]

Both of us married for love. If we could, we would have loved to live in England or India coz I was living in England when we met. We still talk about it but he has a management level govt job (He's in the National Guard so thats not the permanent job for him) and a house etc so it was easier to have me move here. Besides, It would be nice to live in India (as he says) but its different from visiting coz then one has to deal with everyday things which he might have some problem with also language is a big concern for him. I on the other hand was living alone in a different country so seemed easier for me to adjust.

[sj5 4]

My USC spouse said, "I try to treat you good, but if you leaved me then it means I'm bad husband."