Gentleman x Caveman

[Nessa 23]

Gentleman x Caveman

For me, when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, etc, this is the way a gentleman would do things:

- Rule # 1: first of, remember the special occasion as early as possible. Unless there is no way to communicate with their spouse/fiancée/gf, call, e-mail, send a card acknowledging the special occasion and stating how much you love her.

- Rule # 2: buy her something. If you recently bought her something expensive and it’s out of budget to buy another expensive gift for this occasion, go with something cheap. An appreciation card with/or flowers, chocolate, etc.

- if you’re like most men who just suck at buying gifts or/if you have a partner that is very picky, you can:

• take a moment to remember your partner mentioning every now and then things she wants or she’d like to have. For example, she saw this beautiful necklace in a catalogue, she even showed you; she mentioning that in the future she plans on buying something, like a camera, etc; it would be nice if you had paid attention so next time you do need to buy her something you’ll already have that in mind. Another example, she mentioned she really wanted a Coach purse or a Ray Ban, but you don’t know exactly which one, just buy any so she can return and get the one she really likes.

• Take a look around to remember what she likes to do. She has this computer games with several expansion that she really likes, maybe that’s an idea. She has several books from the same author, maybe an idea to check if there’s a new book that she doesn’t have, etc

• Buy her a gift card. You can never go wrong with gift cards. Think what store does she buy stuff often? If you are not sure she’d like to buy things from that store, buy her a gift card for her favorite mall, that way she’ll have tons of options of stores to buy whatever she wants.

This is how a caveman would behave:

- he’d never ask what his partner wants, expecting she would forget to ask him something so he wouldn't have to buy her anything.

- When she’d tell him what she wants for that occasion, he’d just go ahead and buy it. Then after buying it, he wouldn’t take his time to gift wrap it, or if the gift was impossible to wrap, maybe write a card to go with it.

- after not buying anything, he’d wait until late at night when the partner comes home and still, would wait for the partner to say happy whatever, and if she didn’t he’d be mad and whining about how she doesn’t love him anymore

- He would complain about whatever his partner bought him, stating that she shouldn’t be spending more money on him, or saying things like ‘’women don’t buy men gifts for this specific occasion’’. Then when his partner doesn’t buy him anything, he tries to convince her that what he did was not wrong because she too didn’t buy him anything. And aftern that, he whines about how he doesn’t feel appreciated.

- even though he hates spending money on his partner, he agrees to dinner on special occasions. Then the day his partner says she would like to go to the movies and dinner, he’d say something like ‘’why dinner and movies? Just so I have to spend more money on you?’’ and that being that his partner works and all her money is also his, so pretty much, they would be spending money on each other.

PS: For me, caveman behavior is completely acceptable if he doesn’t appreciate his partner.

Question of the day: what are you (or your partner if you're female)? A gentleman or a caveman?

[Chica Yeyé 41]

The Brenster is eccentric. We are not too keen on mass-market holidays; so no valentine's day and the like @ our place. Yet, things like this are common:

I will open the fridge and in my lunch baggie I will find an extra container. Open, find earrings.

We write to each other often, in letters and in "Story of Us" (our common journal).

[Jenn! 918]

We don't really exchange "gifts". It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me since we share the same bank account. We both know those top items on each other's wish lists and when we have the money we decide on which items are most wanted/needed.

I would be kind of ticked off if hubby went spending our money on things for me that I don't really need or if we haven't specifically saved up for it and discussed the purchase.

Romantic, huh?

[Amby 490]

hmmmmm...I remember everything when it comes to someone I care about

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

I can call myself a cheap-a$$ gentleman since I remember everything (thanks to technology) but I'd never buy something super expensive for my wife, we are not materialistics and she agrees with this that's why I fell in love with her because I hate when women expect men to buy them expensive gifts or support them.

Edited November 26, 2008 by TävôLuDô

[Amby 490]

@ cheap ###

I'm not a cheap ### unless I'm really pissed off at someone and I buy them something lame because I know they will hate it

[Nessa 23]

@ cheap ###

I'm not a cheap ### unless I'm really pissed off at someone and I buy them something lame because I know they will hate it

[Amby 490]

@ cheap ###

I'm not a cheap ### unless I'm really pissed off at someone and I buy them something lame because I know they will hate it

I seriously do that sh*t

I'm a b*tch sometimes too

[Nessa 23]

I can call myself a cheap-a$$ gentleman since I remember everything (thanks to technology) but I'd never buy something super expensive for my wife, we are not materialistics and she agrees with this that's why I fell in love with her because I hate when women expect men to buy them expensive gifts or support them.

People are different. I would never be happy having my husband supporting me, and I'm proud of being able to afford myself whatever I want to buy. Still, I was raised and have always been around people that exchange gifts. It's a natural thing to do, for me and everybody that has been in my life.

As mentioned above, it's the thought of it that counts, not the amount on money spent. I have never met a woman that doesn't expect their SO to at least write a card, do something personal for them to show they appreciate them.

[Amby 490]

Personally I don't need presents or cards. I've always had everything material I've ever wanted whenever I wanted it. The things that mean the most to me aren't material at all.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

i am definitely not a gentleman by those standards

good thing, too.

We don't really exchange "gifts". It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me since we share the same bank account. We both know those top items on each other's wish lists and when we have the money we decide on which items are most wanted/needed.

I would be kind of ticked off if hubby went spending our money on things for me that I don't really need or if we haven't specifically saved up for it and discussed the purchase.

Romantic, huh?

you'll end up ahead at the end. the only thing that matters.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Personally I don't need presents or cards. I've always had everything material I've ever wanted whenever I wanted it. The things that mean the most to me aren't material at all.

Same here seriously. Perhaps because growing up I never lacked a thing -- my parents raised us well, me thinks (problem is they kept the money darnit )

[Niels Bohr 72]

My wife agrees with me that life is more important than measly gifts, cards, etc...As long as we're together, that is what counts. She don't mind if I didn't get anything for her birthday, nor do I. We don't mind if it's our aniversary or not. Those are things to celebrate if there's time.

[Nessa 23]

I guess it's more of a cultural thing then. It's the first time I hear about it not being a normal thing. For me it's like pooping, something that has to be done

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I guess it's more of a cultural thing then. It's the first time I hear about it not being a normal thing. For me it's like pooping, something that has to be done

Hey don't get me wrong - I love gifts.