Double lives of visa journey petitioners ( what we dont really want to post)

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)

Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

and now you will post about how my situation is different because im young and its "easier" for him to love me. and btw, in a year that went from.. "your situation is different you guys have a love story", to "your situation is different", to "your young so its easier".

ok sorry I had to say that I guess.

Lisa

And my marriage was doomed because I am an older woman married to a Moroccan. I don't quite get it, he has his 10 year GC and is still around. What is he waiting for?

Kat, you are a passionate woman, but your right, not a lick of common sense at the moment. I hope things get easier for you soon.

And she was all on board with telling me my husband was a murderer and should never come to America. And look at us now, he's here, gonna be working soon and we're starting a family. All of the judgements only made me stronger, not wallow in self pity.

Wowzers! I must of missed that discussion. I gotta find that and catch up.

Those are some locked threads..Brief synopsis. Her husband was married to another american who died in morocco and was buried there. She had a young child. The child stayed with her now husband ( of the dead american) . The american family of the child eventually got the baby back to the states.Several women on here knew the American ex and felt hostile towards her husband for not getting her adequate medical care ( that can or cannot be proven frankly but I personally think he had no malice towards her and that it was awful for everyone) A subsquent friend in the real world of the poster who was posting and now isnt contacted several on here and confirmed that. He subsequently was granted a visa and is now here in the USA living happily ever after with the poster. I DID NOT BRING THIS UP. I dont think he was a murderer.. That was others on another forum and several women on here that knew the american ex. I dont think he was because he would have never been granted a visa if there was any wrong doing. Amy believed in him which says that her being pretty street smart, had she thought he was bad, she would have never gotten involved with him.. Case closed.

[*JG* 2]

I have no issues with the first 2 of the poll. The 3rd is a definite no. I think we who have made it through the whole process or are very near the end, are doing a great disservice to anyone who follows if we tell them it's nothing buy sunshine and rainbows. I know when I have stated issues out loud, I have had people thank me for letting them know they aren't alone.

Which is why I have participated in the threads that talk about the difficulties when they get here. Too many people assume that when they get here it is going to be a bed of roses. It gets easier in some ways, but it gets harder in other ways. I believe in sharing what either my husband or I have gone through after he got here. I am hoping that it will help others to plan in advance on what to expect, and to see problems for what they are. After my husband had been here about six months he was ready to go back. I had not read here about this adjustment period, so it upset me. But now I see that almost all of the men that have come have had a period of adjusting. I will post what has happened to us in a general manner, but I won't post details. But to post about arguments that have absolutely nothing to do with the culture adjustment and immigration process is more or less setting yourself up to be a target.

I think regardless of what you post about, someone is going to see it as too close to their own situation, not want to feel like that, and go off on you. It is what it is sometimes. I've read a lot of your stuff. Sometimes, especially in the beginning, almost all of it is relative to the immigration process. L

[Y's_habibitk 2]

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)

Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

and now you will post about how my situation is different because im young and its "easier" for him to love me. and btw, in a year that went from.. "your situation is different you guys have a love story", to "your situation is different", to "your young so its easier".

ok sorry I had to say that I guess.

Lisa

Hey Lisa,

I will give you an example. When one girl got married in Tunisia, she had no problems. It didnt cost her extraordinary money and was an easy process, right?

When I got married there every single person working with us demanded bribes and what should have cost us like 50 dollars ending up costing 600 dollars just to get married paperwork wise. Lightening strikes different places..

I also have befriended the most amazing Moroccan woman who has a child 6 months older than my daughter ( who is arabic as well) she is learning arabic, arabic cooking and bought a house 2 miles away and they play together. I have nothing against all mena people. One of my very best friends is Moroccan and she doesnt need a greencard from me or anything from me. She just likes me. She thinks I am a little HAMAKA but she knows I have a good heart.

Each one of us has a different set of circumstances. You are tired of reading my posts cause it is not happening to YOU.

But unfortunately since I have been here its happened to over 10 women on this forum and presently some on here are living in roomate situations, posting as if they are still with their husbands and god knows what.

I know you are sick of reading my posts but frankly Id rather tell the truth about whats happening and hear truthful opinions. I may have to wade through people who dont like me like you and some others but there are others on here going through similar things and if I am HONEST about whats going on, we can talk together.

And no not everyone has a bad situation but if we all just post bunnies and rainbows and we arent honest with the others on the forum, why are we posting to begin with? I would hope that we would try to help each other by posting the good and the bad and being open

If this is just a place to post happy things, let me fall in line. Ill post rainbows and cat threads.

I have too many real friends on here to refrain from being emotionally honest with them

I really dont need any examples because I realize that everyone has a different story. I have my story and you have yours. I dont project mine onto anyone else, but you have a tendency to do so. Your bad experiences can serve as strength to someone else, but you often post inappropriately AT people and advise them as if they have just told you that their husband just punched them in the face.

Its not that I dont like you, its that I truly believe that you sometimes, more than not..do more harm than good. You have such a reputation that I think if anyone REALLY needed your experience and stregth, they would PM you. Just my opinion.

Some people dont have a place to "vent". Venting does not mean that they are ready to leave their marriage or that their husbands are dirty rotten scoundrels who will use them.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

And the secret, children, is to know when to retreat....

[morocco4ever 63]

I'm hungry. Anyone up to ordering pizza?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

And the secret, children, is to know when to retreat....

OR RUN AWAY TO EXPATS

I actually like the expats bunch

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)

Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

and now you will post about how my situation is different because im young and its "easier" for him to love me. and btw, in a year that went from.. "your situation is different you guys have a love story", to "your situation is different", to "your young so its easier".

ok sorry I had to say that I guess.

Lisa

Hey Lisa,

I will give you an example. When one girl got married in Tunisia, she had no problems. It didnt cost her extraordinary money and was an easy process, right?

When I got married there every single person working with us demanded bribes and what should have cost us like 50 dollars ending up costing 600 dollars just to get married paperwork wise. Lightening strikes different places..

I also have befriended the most amazing Moroccan woman who has a child 6 months older than my daughter ( who is arabic as well) she is learning arabic, arabic cooking and bought a house 2 miles away and they play together. I have nothing against all mena people. One of my very best friends is Moroccan and she doesnt need a greencard from me or anything from me. She just likes me. She thinks I am a little HAMAKA but she knows I have a good heart.

Each one of us has a different set of circumstances. You are tired of reading my posts cause it is not happening to YOU.

But unfortunately since I have been here its happened to over 10 women on this forum and presently some on here are living in roomate situations, posting as if they are still with their husbands and god knows what.

I know you are sick of reading my posts but frankly Id rather tell the truth about whats happening and hear truthful opinions. I may have to wade through people who dont like me like you and some others but there are others on here going through similar things and if I am HONEST about whats going on, we can talk together.

And no not everyone has a bad situation but if we all just post bunnies and rainbows and we arent honest with the others on the forum, why are we posting to begin with? I would hope that we would try to help each other by posting the good and the bad and being open

If this is just a place to post happy things, let me fall in line. Ill post rainbows and cat threads.

I have too many real friends on here to refrain from being emotionally honest with them

I really dont need any examples because I realize that everyone has a different story. I have my story and you have yours. I dont project mine onto anyone else, but you have a tendency to do so. Your bad experiences can serve as strength to someone else, but you often post inappropriately AT people and advise them as if they have just told you that their husband just punched them in the face.

Its not that I dont like you, its that I truly believe that you sometimes, more than not..do more harm than good. You have such a reputation that I think if anyone REALLY needed your experience and stregth, they would PM you. Just my opinion.

Some people dont have a place to "vent". Venting does not mean that they are ready to leave their marriage or that their husbands are dirty rotten scoundrels who will use them.

I am not projecting. I am just talking. I am also not a counselor but I think its all ok if we all talk about things..And people DO PM ME.. And I dont talk about it on the forum... I tell it how I see it.. it may not be how you see it but I have been around islam and the mena community for 7 years and its not cause I met someone online. Ive seen alot and I call it like I see it....

And sometimes people dont say on the forums that they have been punched in the face or boxed in the ears. They tell me and others in pm.. WHICH IS WHY I STARTED THIS POLL .. Look at the results of question three. I am OBVIOUSLY not imagining things. Others think we are not being honest as well WHICH WAS MY ORIGINAL POST

[morocco4ever 63]

And the secret, children, is to know when to retreat....

OR RUN AWAY TO EXPATS

I actually like the expats bunch

They are all a bunch of losers over there.

[sereia 0]

[morocco4ever 63]

And the secret, children, is to know when to retreat....

OR RUN AWAY TO EXPATS

I actually like the expats bunch

They are a bunch of losers.

Edited November 25, 2008 by morocco4ever

[livelong_prosper 0]

Instead of posting this in MENA I believe this should be posted in the Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits. Stop putting all the eggs in one basket.

[Nothing1234 2]

And the secret, children, is to know when to retreat....

OR RUN AWAY TO EXPATS

I actually like the expats bunch

They are all a bunch of losers over there.

[Jenn! 918]

I do think people could stand to have a little more sympathy for HIT and realize that much of what she says is the grief talking.

[morocco4ever 63]

And the secret, children, is to know when to retreat....

OR RUN AWAY TO EXPATS

I actually like the expats bunch

They are all a bunch of losers over there.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I do think people could stand to have a little more sympathy for HIT and realize that much of what she says is the grief talking.

Thanks Jenn

Anyone know a cheap moisturiser that makes your face look younger? This thread is aging me LOL