Leave the US or not?

[Mrs. Diaz 1]

My husband and I are having serious thoughts about leaving the US(NYC) for Sweden, my country of birth... We believe that we will have a better life over there(financially)but we really don't know what to do.... We know for sure that we will have more money, a better apartment and such if we do choose to live in Sweden. But we will miss so many things, that both of us love about the US... The people, how "things work", the weather(!) My husband was born in Latin America, came to the US when he was 9... this country is what he calls home. How about me? Well... I have lived in Europe my whole life(we have made many, many trips over seas for the past 3 years!) and I don't have a problem with that... :-p But I wouldn't mind staying in the US. I love it here, but giving up everything that I have here for a future we know nothing about, that's probable not a great move. We don't even know if my husband will still have that job offer he got, before he left for the deployment in Iraq... (He will be home by the end of April) Btw we haven't started the GC process for me yet. So what I am asking for is some advice! What should we do? Choose money over a "happier life"(that we would get in the US) Money is not everything after all.... But it sure makes a difference! Thoughts? I am very thankful for any advice or thoughts about this! :-)

//Janette Diaz

[Dakine 26]

My husband and I are having serious thoughts about leaving the US(NYC) for Sweden, my country of birth... We believe that we will have a better life over there(financially)but we really don't know what to do.... We know for sure that we will have more money, a better apartment and such if we do choose to live in Sweden. But we will miss so many things, that both of us love about the US... The people, how "things work", the weather(!) My husband was born in Latin America, came to the US when he was 9... this country is what he calls home. How about me? Well... I have lived in Europe my whole life(we have made many, many trips over seas for the past 3 years!) and I don't have a problem with that... :-p But I wouldn't mind staying in the US. I love it here, but giving up everything that I have here for a future we know nothing about, that's probable not a great move. We don't even know if my husband will still have that job offer he got, before he left for the deployment in Iraq... (He will be home by the end of April) Btw we haven't started the GC process for me yet. So what I am asking for is some advice! What should we do? Choose money over a "happier life"(that we would get in the US) Money is not everything after all.... But it sure makes a difference! Thoughts? I am very thankful for any advice or thoughts about this! :-)

//Janette Diaz

Sounds like you are pretty young. I suggest you get your US citizenship and then decide. That will give you more options.

[Thai family 0]

My husband and I are having serious thoughts about leaving the US(NYC) for Sweden, my country of birth... We believe that we will have a better life over there(financially)but we really don't know what to do.... We know for sure that we will have more money, a better apartment and such if we do choose to live in Sweden. But we will miss so many things, that both of us love about the US... The people, how "things work", the weather(!) My husband was born in Latin America, came to the US when he was 9... this country is what he calls home. How about me? Well... I have lived in Europe my whole life(we have made many, many trips over seas for the past 3 years!) and I don't have a problem with that... :-p But I wouldn't mind staying in the US. I love it here, but giving up everything that I have here for a future we know nothing about, that's probable not a great move. We don't even know if my husband will still have that job offer he got, before he left for the deployment in Iraq... (He will be home by the end of April) Btw we haven't started the GC process for me yet. So what I am asking for is some advice! What should we do? Choose money over a "happier life"(that we would get in the US) Money is not everything after all.... But it sure makes a difference! Thoughts? I am very thankful for any advice or thoughts about this! :-)

//Janette Diaz

You might not want to rush anything following a deployment. Allow some time after he returns to let the dust settle before making any big life changing decisions. Please thank him for his service.

Thai Mom

[Mrs. Diaz 1]

My husband and I are having serious thoughts about leaving the US(NYC) for Sweden, my country of birth... We believe that we will have a better life over there(financially)but we really don't know what to do.... We know for sure that we will have more money, a better apartment and such if we do choose to live in Sweden. But we will miss so many things, that both of us love about the US... The people, how "things work", the weather(!) My husband was born in Latin America, came to the US when he was 9... this country is what he calls home. How about me? Well... I have lived in Europe my whole life(we have made many, many trips over seas for the past 3 years!) and I don't have a problem with that... :-p But I wouldn't mind staying in the US. I love it here, but giving up everything that I have here for a future we know nothing about, that's probable not a great move. We don't even know if my husband will still have that job offer he got, before he left for the deployment in Iraq... (He will be home by the end of April) Btw we haven't started the GC process for me yet. So what I am asking for is some advice! What should we do? Choose money over a "happier life"(that we would get in the US) Money is not everything after all.... But it sure makes a difference! Thoughts? I am very thankful for any advice or thoughts about this! :-)

//Janette Diaz

Sounds like you are pretty young. I suggest you get your US citizenship and then decide. That will give you more options.

I am 27 years old... ;-) Well I don't know if I want to give up my car, job, new apt etc. If I knew that I was going to get a job in the US, I would be on that plane right now.... But it's not that easy, not in times like these...(people losing their jobs because of the financial crisis) Thank you for you comment! //Janette

[Mrs. Diaz 1]

My husband and I are having serious thoughts about leaving the US(NYC) for Sweden, my country of birth... We believe that we will have a better life over there(financially)but we really don't know what to do.... We know for sure that we will have more money, a better apartment and such if we do choose to live in Sweden. But we will miss so many things, that both of us love about the US... The people, how "things work", the weather(!) My husband was born in Latin America, came to the US when he was 9... this country is what he calls home. How about me? Well... I have lived in Europe my whole life(we have made many, many trips over seas for the past 3 years!) and I don't have a problem with that... :-p But I wouldn't mind staying in the US. I love it here, but giving up everything that I have here for a future we know nothing about, that's probable not a great move. We don't even know if my husband will still have that job offer he got, before he left for the deployment in Iraq... (He will be home by the end of April) Btw we haven't started the GC process for me yet. So what I am asking for is some advice! What should we do? Choose money over a "happier life"(that we would get in the US) Money is not everything after all.... But it sure makes a difference! Thoughts? I am very thankful for any advice or thoughts about this! :-)

//Janette Diaz

You might not want to rush anything following a deployment. Allow some time after he returns to let the dust settle before making any big life changing decisions. Please thank him for his service.

Thai Mom

This is his 2nd round... So I know things will take time, he will need some time before we make any decisions.... Thank you so much for you comment!

[Reba 2]

What's your status here then if you have not yet started the AOS process?

[Mrs. Diaz 1]

What's your status here then if you have not yet started the AOS process?

What's my status? Well... we were going to file for the K3 Visa... But we're not sure if we are going to do that! We are thinking about living in Sweden instead.

[himher 634]

Interesting topic. Actually we have completed K3/AOS, but we're out of the country next month.

[reeses16 8]

From your first post it sounds like you are in the US and thinking of moving back to Sweden.

Weigh your options carefully. I'm sure you know money isn't everything...focus on the quality of life stuff. The economic problems in the US (and Sweden I'm guessing) will get better in time- and your pay checks will too.

Might be a good idea to put in 3 or so years living in the US now...so that you can get citizenship then you can come and go as couple in & out of the US at will. Otherwise, realize that if you stay in Sweden you will have to go through immigration if you plan to live in the US eventually. Either way, I don't think you can go wrong...its just another path.

Edited November 24, 2008 by reeses16

[Mrs. Diaz 1]

From your first post it sounds like you are in the US and thinking of moving back to Sweden.

Weigh your options carefully. I'm sure you know money isn't everything...focus on the quality of life stuff. The economic problems in the US (and Sweden I'm guessing) will get better in time- and your pay checks will too.

Might be a good idea to put in 3 or so years living in the US now...so that you can get citizenship then you can come and go as couple in & out of the US at will. Otherwise, realize that if you stay in Sweden you will have to go through immigration if you plan to live in the US eventually. Either way, I don't think you can go wrong...its just another path.

I'm back in Sweden for now, my husband will be in Iraq until April 2009. And the Visa waiver only allows me to stay for 90 days at a time... And I do have a job and a apartment in Sweden, so we're in Sweden most of the time. And that is one of the reasons we are thinking about living in Sweden for a few years, or longer.... Who knows in times like these!

The best thing would probable be if I go to the US next year, go all the way with the GC process and so on... Nobody knows how things will be in the future, if the immigration "policy" will change in the next 4 years or not... Who knows if it will get even harder for people to immigrate to the US.... BUT the thing is that there are so many good things about living in Sweden. One example is that when you have a baby, you will get to stay at home with the child for up to 390 days. During that period of time you will keep getting 80% of whatever you make per month!(taxes not incl.) You also have the choice to stay at home for 480 days, but after the 390 days is up you will get about 25 USD per day. Pretty good, huh? ;-)

Well this is really not about getting all the benefits in Sweden or having millions on the bank, we would be happy if we could afford a apartment and live a happy life together. I would go anywhere in the world with my husband... But I don't know if we are willing to give up everything that we have in Sweden for a future in a trailer park, because that's were we might end up...(None of us attended collage, no money saved etc) I would love to go back to school! And I am willing to work with just about anything... But again, who knows in times like these? Will I be able to find a job? My husband is very concerned about all this. He is hearing about all those people losing their jobs and he is worried he wont even get that job!(that they said he would get as soon as he gets back from Iraq) I'm not there to see this with my own eyes, so I really don't know how "bad" things are in the US right now. I really don't want my husband to move to a new country(again)and start all over again with a new language etc. Are the headlines in the newspaper for real? Is is really that bad?(You can imagine how I feel when I'm reading all this about the country I was planning on moving to) Gaaaahh.... I really don't know what to do! :-S

Thank you so much for you comment!

[Brad and Vika 129]

Things are always more difficult financially when you are young. It sounds like you put the relationship first, and you are right - it isn't all about money, etc. Proceed slowly, carefully, and above all together. You are both young enough to ignore the financial mess - it will pass in time. Good Luck!

[Mrs. Diaz 1]

Things are always more difficult financially when you are young. It sounds like you put the relationship first, and you are right - it isn't all about money, etc. Proceed slowly, carefully, and above all together. You are both young enough to ignore the financial mess - it will pass in time. Good Luck!

You are so right! This is not about money, but we can't rush into things and get miserable later cuz we chose the wrong path... On the other hand, there's always a way back! My husband and I will decide on what to do when he comes back from Iraq next year. And I know we will be alright, no matter what. Thank you so much for you comment!

[reeses16 8]

Can I come to Sweden with you? Personally, I would decide on quality of life. I'm near your age and things are difficult starting out. My hubby's been here in the US with me almost 2 years and things have improved tremendously for us. We're looking forward to starting a family in the next year or so, I would jump at the chance stay home with our child without a significant loss of income. Daycare where we live is hard to find and costs more than our rent!

[Mrs. Diaz 1]

Can I come to Sweden with you? Personally, I would decide on quality of life. I'm near your age and things are difficult starting out. My hubby's been here in the US with me almost 2 years and things have improved tremendously for us. We're looking forward to starting a family in the next year or so, I would jump at the chance stay home with our child without a significant loss of income. Daycare where we live is hard to find and costs more than our rent!

'course you can! We really want to start a family too, in the next 2 or 3 years so that is the one of the reasons we're having 2nd thoughts about me moving to the US.... I am happy that things have improved for you guys! The only way is up now... ha ha.... I understand that most people in the US are saving money to be able to afford having a kid in the future, that is not something Swedes have to think about. Life over here is so easy, compared to the life in the US. I just wish that we could bring all those good things to America, cuz that's where we really want to live! Well you cant' have it all...

Daycare is not free in Sweden, but it is not expensive at all...(that's the law, everyone has the rights to daycare for their child. Even if the parents are unemployed!) Both parents have the right to stay at home with their newborn for 3 weeks(again, that's the law) and after the 3 weeks is up, one of the parents will get to stay at home for 390/480 days(mom or dad, it doesn't matter. You will still get 80% of your salary.)Fathers MUST stay at home with the baby for at least 60 days, that's the law.... but you can choose who's going to stay at home with the baby after those 60 days are up. I know many fathers in Sweden that chose to stay at home for 10 months or longer, so that their wife/gf could make a career! Those are the things that I would love to "take with me" to the US... Did i mention that you still will get paid(80%)if you need to stay home from work with your sick child?!(if the kid is 15 yo or younger)Why can't this be the same for the US? ha ha....

I really hope that things will get better soon. People getting their jobs back etc. Cuz I really don't want my husband to move to a new country, again... learn a new language and all that! I believe that a life in the US would have more quality after all... But I can't go, if I can't get a job!

All the best to you and your husband! / Janette

[LikeALadybug 2]

I'm not gonna tell you not to come to the USA I do really like this country, otherwise I would not have stayed myself, but if you are planning on adding kids to the mix in the near future, I just want to warn you how not-kid friendly the USA is.

You get, about 6 weeks off from work after having a baby, unpaid of course unless you are one in a million who is employed by a company that pays you. You will have to provide health insurance for this child which is very expensive, daycare can be pretty high too, depending on where in the USA you live. When you child is sick, you better hope the company you work for is very understanding, or they will take out any of you vacation days so you can stay home -hopefully you will not get sick yourself too, that even more UNPAID days off from work.

In Denmark where I am from we have very similar benefits Sweden and was horrified to learn how they do thing over here. Luckily, I had my daughter while I was college over here; I could take a semester off and stay home until my child was 6 mo. old - it should be a crime to expect a new mother to leave her child at 6 weeks!

We were planing on going back to Denmark because of the situation over here but at the last minute I was offered a well paid job and we have now filed for AOS instead. I hope things will get better soon and if you decide to come over here, I'm sure you will make it although your standard of living may be lowered for a while - it depends on where you are going and what kind of profession you plan on going into (finance/real estate is not doing very good (-: )

You might newer really notice anything except maybe slightly higher food prices. If you have already applied I would say you might as well go ahead with it and move over here and if things get worse you can always leave. That's what we plan on doing, and I think that is one of the benefits of marrying someone from a foreign country. And who is to say things won't get worse in Europe too - just look at Iceland!

good luck to whatever you decide, it's hard to predict what will come of all this really.