Freedom of Movement in the MENA Countries?

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

French Colonial Law?

I recall there was differences in the justice systems between the higher courts and the family courts. Family courts were more governed by Sharia Law from what I remember. There was also a huge post I did on it from the New York Times of what is Sharia Law to Egyptians I believe. I will have to go back through my posts and find it.

The French Colonial law may apply because I know other countries in the North Africa Region were once governed and still somewhat run as that such as Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia. Libya is authoritarian.

I read after French Colonial law in 1798 the revolution in and a new constitution in 1923 based on a parliamentary representative system. I don't see anything about their laws or what their constitution says.

You know what would be really fun! Get a bunch of lawyers and scholars from these regions to come dialogue with us about freedom of movement in their country.

[Staashi 371]

Well one other thing, there is perception and reality. What do you perceive things will be like, what will your reality be over there. Only you will know after living there a while.

[Aymsgirl 0]

I will ask him but i do know that he did say something about French law the other night. I know that certain articles rule on certain forms of law. I will send him an email and let you know what he says. He's at home sleeping right now.

[Staashi 371]

Napoleonic Code still operates by one major principle - Guilty until proven innocent.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

French Colonial Law?

I recall there was differences in the justice systems between the higher courts and the family courts. Family courts were more governed by Sharia Law from what I remember. There was also a huge post I did on it from the New York Times of what is Sharia Law to Egyptians I believe. I will have to go back through my posts and find it.

The French Colonial law may apply because I know other countries in the North Africa Region were once governed and still somewhat run as that such as Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia. Libya is authoritarian.

I read after French Colonial law in 1798 the revolution in and a new constitution in 1923 based on a parliamentary representative system. I don't see anything about their laws or what their constitution says.

You know what would be really fun! Get a bunch of lawyers and scholars from these regions to come dialogue with us about freedom of movement in their country.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

French Colonial Law?

I recall there was differences in the justice systems between the higher courts and the family courts. Family courts were more governed by Sharia Law from what I remember. There was also a huge post I did on it from the New York Times of what is Sharia Law to Egyptians I believe. I will have to go back through my posts and find it.

The French Colonial law may apply because I know other countries in the North Africa Region were once governed and still somewhat run as that such as Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia. Libya is authoritarian.

I read after French Colonial law in 1798 the revolution in and a new constitution in 1923 based on a parliamentary representative system. I don't see anything about their laws or what their constitution says.

You know what would be really fun! Get a bunch of lawyers and scholars from these regions to come dialogue with us about freedom of movement in their country.

Olivia, I have a degree in history and I overanalyse everything I see.

I prefer Staashis approach

If he loves you ( the mena guy that is) He doesnt hit you. He doesnt keep you holed up in a room.He doesnt lie and cheat.

All this analysation of Napeolonic code to figure out if a guy is a rat or not is ridiculous

I think education clouds our common sense. We get so educated ( me too) that common sense goes out the window

law means nothing. Love means everything...

Listen to your gut and stop thinking so damn much

Also your mom has probably listened to you go on and on thats why she wont sign the papers ( because maybe shes aggravated his antics ( remember last years myspace debaucle)

Be patient with yourself... but he hasnt been super nice through this process and put you through tons

And you are beautiful, smart, competent and educated. She ( the mom) gets aggravated at our love choices

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Napoleonic Code still operates by one major principle - Guilty until proven innocent.

The French also commited genocide in Algeria ( killed over a million) and were absolutely the nastiest occupiers and burned all the libraries and infrastructure upon exit. they were experts in torture and prisoner abuse and horrible sex crimed occupiers.

Remember the french foreign legion was established to control Algeria in the 1800s and they let every criminal join and pick a new name and identity and wipe away their criminal history even rape and murder

LOVELY..Oh I wanna be ruled by those #######

[Ihavequestions 419]

1:- AS YOU TOLD HER ABOUT BEATING - EXACTLY ITS NOT ALLOWED TO BEAT. IF YOU HIT AND IT LEAVES MARKS, BRUISES OR BREAKS AND MAKES HER TIRED OR EXHAUSTED IF IT HAPPENED SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO DIVORCE IF SHE PROVES IT IN ISLAM BECAUSE THE FAMILY LAW GETS ITS ARTICLES FROM THE ISLAMIC LAW. IT IS LIKE A SIMPLE REMINDER LIKE DON'T BE THAT WAY AND IT IS LIKE A TAP...NO BEATING AND HE CAN BE UPHELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THIS.

So the answer, as I read it, is that if he beats her she has the right to divorce him, yes? In which way is he held accountable OTHER than divorce court? The answer to this is NO other way. He will not be arrested nor will he be jailed.

2:- HE IS ALLOWED TO TELL HER TO NOT GO OUT BUT FOR REASON - EXAMPLE IS THAT A WOMAN THINKS THAT ITS SAFE TO GO OUT TO SOME PLACE AND HE KNOWS THAT THIS IS BAD PLACE OR STREET OR JUST DOWN RIGHT DANGEROUS - OR IF HE NEEDS TO SIT WITH HER LIKE AFTER HIS WORK AND HE TRUELY NEEDS TO DISCUSS SOMETHING WITH HER AND THERES NO NEED TO GO OUT AND SHE CAN GO LATER OR ANOTHER TIME TO SOLVE THEIR ISSUE HE CAN ASK HER TO STAY.

BUT IT HAS TO B FOR REAL AND A GOOD AND ACCEPTABLE REASON FOR HER AND THEY SHOULD TRY AND COME TO AN AGREEMENT FIRST. ALSO, FOR HIM TO PREVENT HER TO TRAVEL TO ANOTHER COUNTRY , HE HAS TO AGREE FIRST BECAUSE SHE WILL BE BY HER SELF IN ANOTHER COUNTRY AND MAYBE HER KIDS NEEDS HER OR THIS COUNTRY IS DANGEROUS. HE IS ALLOWED TO PREVENT HER BUT IF THERE IS NO REASON AND HE USED HIS RIGHT AS WRONG IT IS NOT LEGAL IN ISLAM. SO THE COURT AS IT WORK BY ISLAMIC LAW IT CAN GIVE HER PERMISSION TO TRAVEL -

ISLAM ALSO SAID THAT THE HUSBANDS IS NOT TO USE THIER RIGHTS INCORRECTLY

OR CONSIDER IT AUTHORITY OF USE OR ABUSE WHENEVER HE WANTS LIKE WHENEVER SHE IS UPSET OR NOT IN MOOD OR SAD OR IT WILL BE AGAINST HER RIGHTS AS A WIFE.

AND WHEN HE USE HIS RIGHTS HE HAS TO BE KINDLY SHOWING HER THAT HE IS AFRAID ABOUT HER AND THE PROPHET ADVICED AS WILLING FROM HIM TO THE MEN TO TREAT THE WOMEN AND KIDS VERY KINDLY

So the short answer is, yes, he can prevent her from leaving the house if he believes he has a good reason.

3:- ABOUT BEING IN THE ROOM IF THERES MEN IN THE LIVING ROOM???? WHYYYY

IF IT LIKE THIS SO SHE IS NOT ALOOWED TO GO OUT ANY WHERE BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WILL SEE HER !!!!!!!!!!!!!! ABOUT THIS YOUU CAN READ THE QURAAN IT HAS A STORY ABOUT MOUSA WHEN HE FOUND 2 LADIES AT THE RIVER TRYING TO WATER THE SHEEP AND THEY WERE WAITING FOR THE MEN TO GET OUT FROM THE SPOT AT THE RIVER - WHEN HE ASKED THEM WHY ARE YOU PREVENTING THE SHEEP TO DRINK THEY SAID( WE R WAITING 4 THE MEN TO GO - AND THAT T HEY ARE CARING ABOUT THE SHEEP BECAUSE THIER DAD IS VERY OLD - SO THE WOMAN ARE ALLOWED TO GO OUT AND ALSO TO WORK WHEN THE HOME NEEDS HER TOO HELP OUT. BUT TO NOT PUT HER SELF IN BAD POSITIONS - LIKE THE 2 LADIES WITH MEN IN A PLACE AND NOBODY THERE WITH THEM AND THEY DIDNT KNOW THE MEN BUT THEY CAN WAIT A SHORT WHILE UNTIL THEY LEAVE. A MAN SHOULDN'T HIDE HIS WIFE UNLESS HE UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT HOW SAFE THE SITUATION IS. HE SHOULD BE PROUD OF HER AND ALL OF HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY SHOULD GET TO KNOW HER.

Again, this is his decision because he decides if she should be stowed away in a room or not.

4:- THE RAPING

ISLAM TOLD THE MEN TO MAKE BEGININGS (MEANING MAKE THE SITUATION COMFORTABLE AND GET YOUR WIFE IN THE MOOD) BEFORE COITUS - SO NOT TO DO IT LIKE ANIMALS --- GET IT ? SO IS THE RAPING ALLOWED ? NO BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO MAKE BEGININGS TO GET YOUR WIFE PREPARED BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE THE DESIRE MORE THAN LIKELY SHE WILL TOO. SO MAN IS ORDERED TO TREAT HIS WIFE KINDLY SO IT IS NOT LOGIC TO NOT TREAT HER LIKE THIS - AND WHAT POSITION IS SHE IN IF SHE DID THIS WITH HIM WHEN SHE DIDN'T WANT TO OR WAS FORCED TO. SHE WILL NOT BE SATISFIED AND WILL END UP HATING AND IGNORING HIM. HOW WILL HE FEEL ?

DISTANT AND FAR TO HIS WIFE AND NOT SATISFIED AND THAT HE NEGLECTED HER FEELINGS - SO MEN HAVE TO REMEMBER -- TREATING WIFES KINDLY NO HURTING HER BODY OR MIND IN ANYWAY. SO RAPE IS NOT ALLOWED BECAUSE IF SHE HAS BEEN HURT HE WILL BE ASKED FROM ALLAH ABOUT NOT BEING KINDLY AND NOT MAKING BEGININGS BEFORE COITUS AND HER BEING HURT FROM THIS. NOT TREATING HIS WIFE KIND AND TREATING HER LIKE AN ANIMAL IS A SIN HE WILL DEFINATLEY ANSWER TO.

AS THE PROPHET ORDERD THE MEN

-- BEATING LEAVE MARKS --- HURTFUL MARKS ON THE INSIDE AND OUTSIDE OF THE BODY - IT MAKESS A WOMAN VERY TIRED AND ALLOWS HER TO GET A DIVORCE EVEN IT WAS BEATING FOR WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS A REASON.

So, again, this is grounds for divorce and he will not be held accountable in a criminal court.

Perhaps your husband would be williing to discuss divorce in Egypt, specifically the two types of divorce (with and without cause) and what happens to his wife's mahr in each type of proceedings.

[Aymsgirl 0]

Ok, he said the family law is completely Islamic and the majority of the civil law is. Criminal law revolves from the french law.

IHQ I can have him go into details later on your question. Right now he is busy playing Mr. Mom with our son.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

A Wife

This article has been widely atributed to a lecture given by Sheikh Abdullah Adhami, but I have been informed that he is not the actual author, so for now it is, Author Unknown.

By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you; when you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for some time she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur'anic verse which says: "They are your garments and you are their garments." (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187). Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.

The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, "And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions of your own nature ..." (Surah Al Nahl 16:72)

Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an, "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)

But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.

Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She outran him but later after she had gained some weight, he outran her. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating. Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said "One would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife"

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always result in having more peace at home.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up, even by splashing cold water on his/her face.

Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said, "The best of you are those who are best to their wives"

Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her "I don't like your parents." Naturally she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said, "I don't like yours either." Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.

The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years, extended to include all those she loved; this love of his continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray saying, "O Allah let it be Hala."

Edited November 26, 2008 by Virtual wife

[Aymsgirl 0]

1:- AS YOU TOLD HER ABOUT BEATING - EXACTLY ITS NOT ALLOWED TO BEAT. IF YOU HIT AND IT LEAVES MARKS, BRUISES OR BREAKS AND MAKES HER TIRED OR EXHAUSTED IF IT HAPPENED SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO DIVORCE IF SHE PROVES IT IN ISLAM BECAUSE THE FAMILY LAW GETS ITS ARTICLES FROM THE ISLAMIC LAW. IT IS LIKE A SIMPLE REMINDER LIKE DON'T BE THAT WAY AND IT IS LIKE A TAP...NO BEATING AND HE CAN BE UPHELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THIS.

So the answer, as I read it, is that if he beats her she has the right to divorce him, yes? In which way is he held accountable OTHER than divorce court? The answer to this is NO other way. He will not be arrested nor will he be jailed.

2:- HE IS ALLOWED TO TELL HER TO NOT GO OUT BUT FOR REASON - EXAMPLE IS THAT A WOMAN THINKS THAT ITS SAFE TO GO OUT TO SOME PLACE AND HE KNOWS THAT THIS IS BAD PLACE OR STREET OR JUST DOWN RIGHT DANGEROUS - OR IF HE NEEDS TO SIT WITH HER LIKE AFTER HIS WORK AND HE TRUELY NEEDS TO DISCUSS SOMETHING WITH HER AND THERES NO NEED TO GO OUT AND SHE CAN GO LATER OR ANOTHER TIME TO SOLVE THEIR ISSUE HE CAN ASK HER TO STAY.

BUT IT HAS TO B FOR REAL AND A GOOD AND ACCEPTABLE REASON FOR HER AND THEY SHOULD TRY AND COME TO AN AGREEMENT FIRST. ALSO, FOR HIM TO PREVENT HER TO TRAVEL TO ANOTHER COUNTRY , HE HAS TO AGREE FIRST BECAUSE SHE WILL BE BY HER SELF IN ANOTHER COUNTRY AND MAYBE HER KIDS NEEDS HER OR THIS COUNTRY IS DANGEROUS. HE IS ALLOWED TO PREVENT HER BUT IF THERE IS NO REASON AND HE USED HIS RIGHT AS WRONG IT IS NOT LEGAL IN ISLAM. SO THE COURT AS IT WORK BY ISLAMIC LAW IT CAN GIVE HER PERMISSION TO TRAVEL -

ISLAM ALSO SAID THAT THE HUSBANDS IS NOT TO USE THIER RIGHTS INCORRECTLY

OR CONSIDER IT AUTHORITY OF USE OR ABUSE WHENEVER HE WANTS LIKE WHENEVER SHE IS UPSET OR NOT IN MOOD OR SAD OR IT WILL BE AGAINST HER RIGHTS AS A WIFE.

AND WHEN HE USE HIS RIGHTS HE HAS TO BE KINDLY SHOWING HER THAT HE IS AFRAID ABOUT HER AND THE PROPHET ADVICED AS WILLING FROM HIM TO THE MEN TO TREAT THE WOMEN AND KIDS VERY KINDLY

So the short answer is, yes, he can prevent her from leaving the house if he believes he has a good reason.

3:- ABOUT BEING IN THE ROOM IF THERES MEN IN THE LIVING ROOM???? WHYYYY

IF IT LIKE THIS SO SHE IS NOT ALOOWED TO GO OUT ANY WHERE BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WILL SEE HER !!!!!!!!!!!!!! ABOUT THIS YOUU CAN READ THE QURAAN IT HAS A STORY ABOUT MOUSA WHEN HE FOUND 2 LADIES AT THE RIVER TRYING TO WATER THE SHEEP AND THEY WERE WAITING FOR THE MEN TO GET OUT FROM THE SPOT AT THE RIVER - WHEN HE ASKED THEM WHY ARE YOU PREVENTING THE SHEEP TO DRINK THEY SAID( WE R WAITING 4 THE MEN TO GO - AND THAT T HEY ARE CARING ABOUT THE SHEEP BECAUSE THIER DAD IS VERY OLD - SO THE WOMAN ARE ALLOWED TO GO OUT AND ALSO TO WORK WHEN THE HOME NEEDS HER TOO HELP OUT. BUT TO NOT PUT HER SELF IN BAD POSITIONS - LIKE THE 2 LADIES WITH MEN IN A PLACE AND NOBODY THERE WITH THEM AND THEY DIDNT KNOW THE MEN BUT THEY CAN WAIT A SHORT WHILE UNTIL THEY LEAVE. A MAN SHOULDN'T HIDE HIS WIFE UNLESS HE UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT HOW SAFE THE SITUATION IS. HE SHOULD BE PROUD OF HER AND ALL OF HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY SHOULD GET TO KNOW HER.

Again, this is his decision because he decides if she should be stowed away in a room or not.

4:- THE RAPING

ISLAM TOLD THE MEN TO MAKE BEGININGS (MEANING MAKE THE SITUATION COMFORTABLE AND GET YOUR WIFE IN THE MOOD) BEFORE COITUS - SO NOT TO DO IT LIKE ANIMALS --- GET IT ? SO IS THE RAPING ALLOWED ? NO BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO MAKE BEGININGS TO GET YOUR WIFE PREPARED BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE THE DESIRE MORE THAN LIKELY SHE WILL TOO. SO MAN IS ORDERED TO TREAT HIS WIFE KINDLY SO IT IS NOT LOGIC TO NOT TREAT HER LIKE THIS - AND WHAT POSITION IS SHE IN IF SHE DID THIS WITH HIM WHEN SHE DIDN'T WANT TO OR WAS FORCED TO. SHE WILL NOT BE SATISFIED AND WILL END UP HATING AND IGNORING HIM. HOW WILL HE FEEL ?

DISTANT AND FAR TO HIS WIFE AND NOT SATISFIED AND THAT HE NEGLECTED HER FEELINGS - SO MEN HAVE TO REMEMBER -- TREATING WIFES KINDLY NO HURTING HER BODY OR MIND IN ANYWAY. SO RAPE IS NOT ALLOWED BECAUSE IF SHE HAS BEEN HURT HE WILL BE ASKED FROM ALLAH ABOUT NOT BEING KINDLY AND NOT MAKING BEGININGS BEFORE COITUS AND HER BEING HURT FROM THIS. NOT TREATING HIS WIFE KIND AND TREATING HER LIKE AN ANIMAL IS A SIN HE WILL DEFINATLEY ANSWER TO.

AS THE PROPHET ORDERD THE MEN

-- BEATING LEAVE MARKS --- HURTFUL MARKS ON THE INSIDE AND OUTSIDE OF THE BODY - IT MAKESS A WOMAN VERY TIRED AND ALLOWS HER TO GET A DIVORCE EVEN IT WAS BEATING FOR WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS A REASON.

So, again, this is grounds for divorce and he will not be held accountable in a criminal court.

Perhaps your husband would be williing to discuss divorce in Egypt, specifically the two types of divorce (with and without cause) and what happens to his wife's mahr in each type of proceedings.

I apologize for not posting his answers. We discussed it last night and I have emailed him what I was going to post but I want him to check it over.

IHQ....are you living in Egypt? I do not see a time line filled out for you. Just wondering what your experience was...again, when he gets back with me I will post the answers but it sounds like you probably already know what they are. It is good for a woman to know her rights. Also, Olivia my husband said if you move to Egypt remember us if you ever need legal help. He has lots of fellow attorney friends that live all over Egypt and he could hook you up with one if ever need be. I pray that you will never need one though...

A Wife

This article has been widely atributed to a lecture given by Sheikh Abdullah Adhami, but I have been informed that he is not the actual author, so for now it is, Author Unknown.

By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you; when you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for some time she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur'anic verse which says: "They are your garments and you are their garments." (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187). Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.

The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, "And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions of your own nature ..." (Surah Al Nahl 16:72)

Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an, "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)

But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.

Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She outran him but later after she had gained some weight, he outran her. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating. Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said "One would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife"

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always result in having more peace at home.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up, even by splashing cold water on his/her face.

Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said, "The best of you are those who are best to their wives"

Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her "I don't like your parents." Naturally she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said, "I don't like yours either." Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.

The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years, extended to include all those she loved; this love of his continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray saying, "O Allah let it be Hala."

Thanks VW...I love your post.

[~Jackie~ 30]

I love it too, thanks for posting it!

jJ

[Ihavequestions 419]

IHQ....are you living in Egypt?

Yes.

Also, Olivia my husband said if you move to Egypt remember us if you ever need legal help. He has lots of fellow attorney friends that live all over Egypt and he could hook you up with one if ever need be. I pray that you will never need one though...

Olivia, feel free to PM me if you have questions or need anything.

[doodlebugg 10]

i will tell you something ,maybe you will not believe it . American people are so powerful more than Egyptian people in Egypt . and they even have rights more than Egyptian people their selves .

My husband tells me that ALL THE TIME!!!

Olivia, I was implying that I'd seek out an American expat living in Egypt who is married to an Egyptian, not an Egyptian expat living in US married to an American.

I know and I was pointing out two possible American Expats living Egypt, however several former American Expats who lived in Egypt did respond such as Tasha, and Jeanne. I know there are a few more that have as well before me and I wish they would also respond.

Bridget and Tamara are both formerly American Expats in Egypt to name a few.

Why the heck would I help you after you completely trashed me on expats? Geesh do you NOT KNOW that it is a public forum?

Bridget and Tamara are both formerly American Expats in Egypt to name a few.

maybe I am wrong but I dont think Bridget ever lived in Egypt. Visiting for a few weeks doesnt make one an expat.....

Yeah I was there all of a total of 18 days. whoop-dee-doo.

[notime4haterz 0]

Virtualwife, thanks for that post. I love it! I'm putting it in the positive things for MENA thread as well.