Freedom of Movement in the MENA Countries?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Kat, you know I care about you and what you have been thru...

the last thing you posted was that a muslim man never did anything as bad as an American baptist man. This is where I see error. Your husband did do just as bad things to you as your previous husband. He hit you, spit in your face, and I can go on and on... whether he did it 2 times or 10 times, hes just as guilty as your first husband. No excuses. Hes was a bad husband to you. Point blank.

Oh trust me...he threw me out of a moving car ( the american) he blackened both my eyes so many times that my face goes immediately black. His mother knew he was beating me and did nothing to intervene. NO MUSLIM HAS EVER DONE TO ME WHAT AN AMERICAN BAPTIST MAN DID TO ME. please dont get me started on americans versus muslims

I will not demonise all muslims over what happened to me. I will repeat. I was more hurt by an american and his family than any muslim ever. he never said he was sorry.

[Staashi 371]

But dont blame muslim men staashi.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I wish Kats husband would have read all this and believed it as a muslim man... he put her thru too much screwed up shizzle...

Yes, well I think the biggest problem with multi-cultural and mult-religion marriages is that both parties don't go into it fully knowing everything. For her own safety, a woman, and ANY woman (regardless where they are from) who marries a Muslim man, should know all her rights and responsibilities, before getting married.

Muslim women have a lot of right that they don't know about. Muslim men have a lot of responsibilities that they don't know about, or like to ignore.

And for those who are non-Muslim women, marrying Muslim men, they should know what their responsibilities are also, because there are things that the religion demands of them, that they may not be willing to abide by. Also, she should know how much of the rules her husband is willing to abide by. There's a big difference if he's gonna follow (and expect her to follow) every rule, or if he's gonna ignore it all and live areligiously.

I think if both people were to learn, together, from a third party, like in a class of some kind, then they would both benefit.

But in general, women would benefit more if they only knew all the rights they have over their husband.

narina.

Please dont give anyone on this board lectures about islam. You dont even wear hijab and its fard. Secondly, for the love of who ever you worship to, please stop acting like an islamic scholar. You may be muslima but you are kissing in your siggy and thats not modest.. nor is the way you act.

Muslimas are not supposed to brag nor flaunt things. They are supposed to be modest. You may just be joking and I frankly dont take offense to much but the gloves go off when you try to teach religion.Its ridiculous frankly. Follow your religion completely, then teach me... and cover your hair if you are going to give me pointers please... See its alot harder to FOLLOW a religion like Islam if you are a woman because there are alot more stringent rules on us.

Try burying a child and still adhering.. Wait till you get a load of all the wacked out funeral requirements and you get treated like a second class citizen while burying your kids..Its alot more than just being muslim in name. You have to stick to the traditions and fard.. and it aint easy

Frankly, I think culture is the problem not Islam. My american ex was from this culture and beat me silly for over 14 years. Its not islam terrorising me . Its been a singular muslim and frankly its not ALL MUSLIMS like not all arabs use women for papers..

tamara....You and I have talked alot. You know my point of view on all of this. Sometimes you can only fight one war at a time and right now my war is surviving the loss of my child. I am not living with my husband presently. I am alone every night with night terrors and nightmares and ptsd. He was at least here and I wasnt having them the last month and we were doing ok... but Ill see what happens later. being alone in the house without another adult is terrifying at about midnight when I start having flashbacks and heart pains.. I really dont need a lecture right now about how crappy muslims are .. I am telling you with as bad as things were.. my american husband was still much much worse and I never ever experienced from any arab and I have been around them for about 7 years the stuff the alcoholic former (unknown to me) meth ice head put me through...The guy I am with isnt with me right now so I have time to reflect on what happened. Its all bad but to different degrees...

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Kat, just dont be in denial, your muslim husband HAS indeed hurt you in many ways and now left you and has not said sorry bcz hes not sorry. American, Egyptian, muslim or baptist.... abuse is not acceptable...

[Staashi 371]

But dont blame muslim men staashi.

Oh, I don't blame Muslim men at all. Most are wonderful men - great fathers and husbands. I just stated that you are a muslima. In replying to Olivia's post, I wanted her to understand her rights in Egypt should she have any issues.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

But dont blame muslim men staashi.

the post with no body like the horse with no name

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

I dont think anyone was implying that all muslim men are abusive. Back a page, I was replying to the woman that was saying how a muslim man was supposed to treat his wife even in different situations. I mentioned that its a shame your husband treated you the way he did and still claim to be a good muslim.

Kat, honestly I think of you so often. Almost in a sense as if my biological mother came back from life and I had to now see what she went thru - thru you. I know you will keep grieving your baby boy and thats OK and its natural and its your right to do so... however, I just think you are in denial over this man that you call husband and you are still being vicitmized by him and probably still hoping he will change his way and mind and come back home to you and treat you right. Its not about him being muslim or Egyptian or American or baptist. Its about YOU being a VICTIM

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Kat, just dont be in denial, your muslim husband HAS indeed hurt you in many ways and now left you and has not said sorry bcz hes not sorry. American, Egyptian, muslim or baptist.... abuse is not acceptable...

Yes and i have gone to work. i worked yesterday. I am trying to survive all of this. Yesterday for the first time I could clearly see my sons face in my memory and I have been unable to remember his face for over 2 months. Everytime I tried to remember him, I would not be able to remember his face and barely what he looked like. the trauma was so great that I have blocks on my memory and i am just NOW physically healing enough to remember and make sense of things. I will have his tombstone up this week which I am really happy about. I still havent had a check except one since September and have been living off credit cards

I will get through all of this. I just get so infuriated when I hear people complain about petty things when they havent seen any real horror. I miss my baby but my mom is right.. I need to make sense of things and take care of things and hang in there and be the adult and not fall apart...I feel abandoned.. heartbroken,,, lost and confused but I am being a really good mom,,, I hung in there and buried my son the right way and put a stone on his grave with the help of my mom and my friends at work and I honored my child. I didnt run from responsibiltiy nor did I neglect my other kids./.. I hung in there..

barely...barely.......

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I dont think anyone was implying that all muslim men are abusive. Back a page, I was replying to the woman that was saying how a muslim man was supposed to treat his wife even in different situations. I mentioned that its a shame your husband treated you the way he did and still claim to be a good muslim.

Kat, honestly I think of you so often. Almost in a sense as if my biological mother came back from life and I had to now see what she went thru - thru you. I know you will keep grieving your baby boy and thats OK and its natural and its your right to do so... however, I just think you are in denial over this man that you call husband and you are still being vicitmized by him and probably still hoping he will change his way and mind and come back home to you and treat you right. Its not about him being muslim or Egyptian or American or baptist. Its about YOU being a VICTIM

I am not a victim. I made choices. I am a survivor. I can leave if it continues and have already made steps to. Right now we are not together so he has adequate time to decide if he loves me and wants to change. If he doesnt, i gave him the chance to and I have closure over my child...My survival surpasses any relationship stories right now. I need to survive and thats hard enough..

I understand your concern but we are not even living together right now. I have lots of time to think and revisit and decide if i want to give him another chance..

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Sometimes you give yourself far too little credit... You really are hanging in there and taking care of your son and daughter. You provide a roof over their head, food on the table and you love them... even when kids get on nerves or act crazy... you are strong loving person and a loving mother. You have a strength for your children and for love that some people never have in a lifetime. Your a strong woman for others, just realize your strength and learn to put yourself above being a victim. You are surviving but havent completed the process yet... A survivor is one that made it thru... you are on your way thru this stuff...

Edited November 24, 2008 by TamaraLovesAdam

[Staashi 371]

Kat, just dont be in denial, your muslim husband HAS indeed hurt you in many ways and now left you and has not said sorry bcz hes not sorry. American, Egyptian, muslim or baptist.... abuse is not acceptable...

Yes and i have gone to work. i worked yesterday. I am trying to survive all of this. Yesterday for the first time I could clearly see my sons face in my memory and I have been unable to remember his face for over 2 months. Everytime I tried to remember him, I would not be able to remember his face and barely what he looked like. the trauma was so great that I have blocks on my memory and i am just NOW physically healing enough to remember and make sense of things. I will have his tombstone up this week which I am really happy about. I still havent had a check except one since September and have been living off credit cards

I will get through all of this. I just get so infuriated when I hear people complain about petty things when they havent seen any real horror. I miss my baby but my mom is right.. I need to make sense of things and take care of things and hang in there and be the adult and not fall apart...I feel abandoned.. heartbroken,,, lost and confused but I am being a really good mom,,, I hung in there and buried my son the right way and put a stone on his grave with the help of my mom and my friends at work and I honored my child. I didnt run from responsibiltiy nor did I neglect my other kids./.. I hung in there..

barely...barely.......

Sometimes that is all we can do is hang on, even if it is by a thread. I still see your baby in my thoughts with the soccer ball and teddy bear in his green outfit. It will be an indelible image forever. You know, it really is to me about the saying "this too shall pass". Depression passes, but so does joy - joy passes too. Sometimes though, the depression stays longer than we really want it to, but when the joy comes we are removed from the situation, even if it is fleeting.

Peace be with you.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I dont think anyone was implying that all muslim men are abusive. Back a page, I was replying to the woman that was saying how a muslim man was supposed to treat his wife even in different situations. I mentioned that its a shame your husband treated you the way he did and still claim to be a good muslim.

Kat, honestly I think of you so often. Almost in a sense as if my biological mother came back from life and I had to now see what she went thru - thru you. I know you will keep grieving your baby boy and thats OK and its natural and its your right to do so... however, I just think you are in denial over this man that you call husband and you are still being vicitmized by him and probably still hoping he will change his way and mind and come back home to you and treat you right. Its not about him being muslim or Egyptian or American or baptist. Its about YOU being a VICTIM

Please very carefully take note about what I said. An american baptist did more horrible things to me than any muslim. I dont want all muslims demonised over what my husband did. I want you to clearly understand that it was my american husband that put me in a hospital for 4 months and gave me brain damage NOT A MENA person. I dont want my muslim identity of my husband used to put down muslim men or islam and i felt like you did that when you drug my husband into the posting about how muslim men should behave differently... I know exactly how people should behave and I am not in denial I know he was wrong.. Ijust dont like being put through having to remember it by other people insulting him to support a completely different arguement. he is NOT the worst person that I have ever met or been with. My american husband was and still is. I think I just dont want him brought up as a crappy example. I know who i was with and wasnt and I know what bad he did... I am hurting and I dont want it thrown in my face in someone elses post

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Sometimes you give yourself far too little credit... You really are hanging in there and taking care of your son and daughter. You provide a roof over their head, food on the table and you love them... even when kids get on nerves or act crazy... you are strong loving person and a loving mother. You have a strength for your children and for love that some people never have in a lifetime. Your a strong woman for others, just realize your strength and learn to put yourself above being a victim. You are surviving but havent completed the process yet... A survivor is one that made it thru... you are on your way thru this stuff...

Yes I remember when we were on the phone and my son was spitting lugies out of the car window. He quit of course when I got off the phone ( immediately by the way)

he went to church tonight ( he is southern baptist and my daughter and I are muslim) He goes 2 times a week Sunday and wednesday and he has had alot of fun with them ( even though the baptists roll their eyes when they see me it seems) I have given up on trying to please alot of close minded jello mold people with zero personality and branson missouri season tickets to the osmonds . i have other things to do.. Like work... But he likes them so I take him there....

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Now I completely forgot what I was talking about?

Oh yes...

Is it ethical for me to approach my Mom again knowing the relationship we've have. I think the Mother Daughter dynamics got pretty hysterical there. Maybe I should bring someone with me that can explain the visa process to her better? I really don't have any other option but her. I've gone down the list of who to ask for co-signers and most of them are disqualified or I'd rather not be involved with.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Kat, just dont be in denial, your muslim husband HAS indeed hurt you in many ways and now left you and has not said sorry bcz hes not sorry. American, Egyptian, muslim or baptist.... abuse is not acceptable...

Yes and i have gone to work. i worked yesterday. I am trying to survive all of this. Yesterday for the first time I could clearly see my sons face in my memory and I have been unable to remember his face for over 2 months. Everytime I tried to remember him, I would not be able to remember his face and barely what he looked like. the trauma was so great that I have blocks on my memory and i am just NOW physically healing enough to remember and make sense of things. I will have his tombstone up this week which I am really happy about. I still havent had a check except one since September and have been living off credit cards

I will get through all of this. I just get so infuriated when I hear people complain about petty things when they havent seen any real horror. I miss my baby but my mom is right.. I need to make sense of things and take care of things and hang in there and be the adult and not fall apart...I feel abandoned.. heartbroken,,, lost and confused but I am being a really good mom,,, I hung in there and buried my son the right way and put a stone on his grave with the help of my mom and my friends at work and I honored my child. I didnt run from responsibiltiy nor did I neglect my other kids./.. I hung in there..

barely...barely.......

Sometimes that is all we can do is hang on, even if it is by a thread. I still see your baby in my thoughts with the soccer ball and teddy bear in his green outfit. It will be an indelible image forever. You know, it really is to me about the saying "this too shall pass". Depression passes, but so does joy - joy passes too. Sometimes though, the depression stays longer than we really want it to, but when the joy comes we are removed from the situation, even if it is fleeting.

Peace be with you.

I just tell people who have babies or are pregnant to treasure every minute and be careful with their health and just be ready for anything that happens cause I wasnt and I wished I had a contingency plan ( like money set aside for a funeral or a plan if something went wrong) Bad things happening need to be a part of EVERYONES mind and people need to be ready for the tragic and appreciate all the things we are blessed with.. I get so freaking pissed when I see people whine about petty things.. I wouldnt think twice about publicly going off on anyone who even looked at me sideways.. I just have a much closer view into how bad things can be.. so I appreciate every single good thing.. because each smile can be your last.. so I say live each day with love and comfort and thank the people in your life so no one ever dies with regrets...its important to realise with joy can come tragedy and just be prepared for all parts of life, not just the pleasant things....I remember when the pali I was with cheated on me and I caught him. I said WHY WHY. He said not everything in life is good.. I said that right back to him when I kicked his ### out the door with his suitcases and told him to get bent...

I just want to be funny again.. to be happy again and want to go on vacation again.. I think when I know his tombstone is up and I can bring things there every holiday and visit something besides a patch of mud, Ill feel better