Fiancée Having Second Thoughts

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I lived in northern europe for several years and graduated from school there in 1984. Its not the same as it was 24 years ago crime wise. Sweden has become flooded and crime stricken with criminals... It frankly not the same.. Why? I dont need to go into details but the social welfare system was not prepared to deal with supporting people who after years have not gotten work and some dont even try and they live in suburbs not even trying to learn swedish.

As far as my opinion. Its not for everyone. I think I feel harsh towards people who make decisions on being with someone they supposedly "love"based on economic decisions. If you love someone, you dont survey the economy. You go to where your spouse is or fiancee and make a go of it. Scandanavia has great social benefits but the taxes are hell and its very hard to start a business much less pay the taxes that go along with living there. Someone Danish or Swedish many times speaks more fluent English than many americans because they start learning it very easily and because they use English all the time, they adjust very easily to the USA. Denmark and Sweden are very empathetic to the hurting and the disadvantaged and unfortunately they now have a problem with criminality and people not working or even learning the language there because they dont really have to to benefit from the welfare system there.

when I lived there all new people had to take swedish classes. Now it s not compulsory. Jag kan still prata Svenska och Jag har inte bodde darborta en 24 ar. Jag lasse Svenska fortfarande och Jag kan forstar Svenska for att all studenten studerade svenka varje dag. Nu manga bor darborta och lasse och prata ingenting .

Hate to break it to you, but it does happen. Once my now-husband and I decided to get married, we seriously thought about where we would live. And economics came into play. Which country would we be better off in at this moment in time? Would we be able to afford my ongoing medical bills in the US? Would my husband be able to find work easily in his field in Canada, or me in the US? which would set us up best in the long run? After crunching through everything, we decided on me coming to the US for now, and we would eventually move back to Canada. If you don't take financial issues into play when deciding to immigrate, you're foolish, IMHO.

Oh, and we've just celebrated our fourth anniversary. Take that as you will.

did you ever consider that both canada and us are both western.. not exactly like romania or lets say nigeria...both are very westernised and similar and close

By the way, Canada IS AMAZING. I loved Quebec City and Montreal. Amazing. Cultured. Pretty and clean and I always felt safe. Montreal is amazing when you go see the lake area and the island with the church in the middle. Jean talon and all the other little foreign areas like little italy. Even the cemetary is amazing there and interesting. Its beautiful there. Id pick canada.. its my favorite vacation memory ( six months before I met my husband I went there. I have very happy memories from Canada

[Big Papa Zone 93]

HERE I can have an open bottle of beer in the car (and it doesn't even matter if I am drinking it or if it is just in the car).

Excatly!! I mean, "illegal transportation of alcohol???" How retarded is that???

[Badgerella 5]

Len, first, I always come to this board and look because it s an interesting board. Second frankly I dont think ALL FOREIGNERS are like this. But honestly, AMERICANS CANT GET JOBS RIGHT NOW. If people are getting warned about having to mop floors WHAT GIVES? No not all immigrants want a meal ticket or it easy. The haitians in orlando ( I work in sales) are the most hard workers I know. And guess what, after 4 years they own businesses. Mexicans work so hard and become business owners.. SOMEONE HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT WASHING FLOORS? To me this is absolutely ridiculous. I am not resentful . I work with clients from all over the world who work hard and THANK THIS COUNTRY FOR THE OPPORTUNITY.. Not sit around wondering if they want to come here or not because life wont be cushy. Moroccans working as cooks... making raise after raise...

You're once more making generalizations that make no sense at all. So what, if Americans can't get jobs right now? Should I not immigrate because I might steal your job? I'm sorry, but I'll do it when I am ready, at my own convenience. If I take your job, it will mean that I am better than you are, more than likely. Tough luck. And yes, I'll still have second thoughts about washing floors. That's not what I went to school for, I am sorry. I'd have second thoughts, too, if I were offered a job as a neurosurgeon or rocket scientist, too, because those, as well, are not things I went to school for. I'm sorry? As for feeding myself, my husband-to-be, or my kid-to-be, it really is our problem. Maybe we'll never have to wash floors, or maybe we will. Who knows? But either way, it's not your place to judge how anyone feels about it.

I am well aware that Mexicans work so hard and become business owners. But you know what, Croatians or Danes or Austrians can work as hard, or harder. I also am aware that Moroccans work as cooks. But have you ever read anything about Morocco, if not actually been there? I really do not want to insult anyone, but it's a fact that an average Moroccan would gladly do anything to get out of the country, whereas an average, for instance, German, really wouldn't. Times have changed. Please wake up and realize that, before throwing insults at people.

One more thing - I really have no reason to thank 'that country' for the opportunity. I make my own opportunities and I work hard for them. Here in Croatia, elsewhere in Europe, in Asia or even in the "paradise-land" known as the United States of America.

[Badgerella 5]

You may not be happy washing floors but I have a college degree and served in the military for this country and if it came to feeding my kids,, I d clean toilets wash floors and do whatever I have to support my kids. I am not too good for any hard work... I am American but I dont feel entitled and the people that wash the floors are doing honorable work.. They later become managers of stores and all kinds of other things..Someone has to wash the floors and I have done it and I opened a restaurant at 4 am and washed grill sheets. You do what you have to do to make it...

Just to clarify it once more - no I won't be happy washing floors and I will do anything that's in my power to avoid doing that. At the same time, I don't care what you did, or why, nor I would do the same, or different because of you. I am old enough, as well as smart enough, to make my own decisions.

I've also never said I am too good for any hard work, or that people who do any and all hard work are not doing something honorable. I just am not shooting to have that be my career. Just like I wouldn't ever make a good housewife, rocket scientist, athlete or neurosurgeon.

Like dont have a kid cause the diapers are too messy. Life and love take and effort. Its crazy

Some people really don't have kids because diapers are too messy. It's their life, you know, and those are not worth any less than you are.

[Badgerella 5]

As far as my opinion. Its not for everyone. I think I feel harsh towards people who make decisions on being with someone they supposedly "love"based on economic decisions. If you love someone, you dont survey the economy. You go to where your spouse is or fiancee and make a go of it. Scandanavia has great social benefits but the taxes are hell and its very hard to start a business much less pay the taxes that go along with living there. Someone Danish or Swedish many times speaks more fluent English than many americans because they start learning it very easily and because they use English all the time, they adjust very easily to the USA. Denmark and Sweden are very empathetic to the hurting and the disadvantaged and unfortunately they now have a problem with criminality and people not working or even learning the language there because they dont really have to to benefit from the welfare system there.

when I lived there all new people had to take swedish classes. Now it s not compulsory. Jag kan still prata Svenska och Jag har inte bodde darborta en 24 ar. Jag lasse Svenska fortfarande och Jag kan forstar Svenska for att all studenten studerade svenka varje dag. Nu manga bor darborta och lasse och prata ingenting .

Once again, you're full of s**t. What are you trying to say? That I am not in love with my fiance because we actually spent some time thinking where it would be better for us to live?! And then YOU come to preach here about how it's good to wash floors to feed your kids? Why not think about that in advance and not even get yourself to a position where kids need to be fed, while you don't provide enough to pay for their meal? So, yes, my fiance and I love each other very much, but we really did study all our possibilities and ended up deciding what's best for us. Because, hey, believe it or not, love wouldn't feed us and won't, ever.

Taxes in Scandinavia are high for a reason. Taxes in Croatia are high for a reason. And, as a result, I can go have a free surgery or cough medicine. My kids, here, would be able to get education for free. I like that. You are free to disagree.

As for foreigners speaking better English than many Americans... well, maybe those Americans could figure out why that is. I'm sure an American starts learning English earlier than an average Dane or Croatian.

Also also, here in Europe, our kids are still safe. We don't have to drive them to schools, nor they get randomly killed in them either. I am not saying all of America is like that, but on average, Europe is still ages behind and you're, again, wrong.

[Badgerella 5]

did you ever consider that both canada and us are both western.. not exactly like romania or lets say nigeria...both are very westernised and similar and close

You're the one who keeps forgetting that not all foreigners are the same and that not all of us come from the same 'third world' country. Again, I hate generalizations of this sort, but there is nothing wrong with Romania. It is just different than the US and it's no crime, at all.

You will have to realize that it is this process that evaluates and judges people WRONG, and that the system needs a huge overhaul. It's about time for the beneficiaries to start being treated as humans. It's about time that their assets, jobs, education start playing a role, too. Then, maybe, an educated Dane or German or Croatian, who is fluent in English won't be treated the same as someone from a 'fifth world country', who speaks no word of English at all, and really only wants that greencard.*

Until then, go bark at the system, please, and leave us all be.

*I apologize to any and all people from underdeveloped countries who are immigrating to the US for valid, legit reasons. We all aware that, anywhere in the world, there are many fraudulent relationships or other fraudulent actions when it comes to emmigration or immigration (as well as many other things).

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Len, first, I always come to this board and look because it s an interesting board. Second frankly I dont think ALL FOREIGNERS are like this. But honestly, AMERICANS CANT GET JOBS RIGHT NOW. If people are getting warned about having to mop floors WHAT GIVES? No not all immigrants want a meal ticket or it easy. The haitians in orlando ( I work in sales) are the most hard workers I know. And guess what, after 4 years they own businesses. Mexicans work so hard and become business owners.. SOMEONE HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT WASHING FLOORS? To me this is absolutely ridiculous. I am not resentful . I work with clients from all over the world who work hard and THANK THIS COUNTRY FOR THE OPPORTUNITY.. Not sit around wondering if they want to come here or not because life wont be cushy. Moroccans working as cooks... making raise after raise...

You're once more making generalizations that make no sense at all. So what, if Americans can't get jobs right now? Should I not immigrate because I might steal your job? I'm sorry, but I'll do it when I am ready, at my own convenience. If I take your job, it will mean that I am better than you are, more than likely. Tough luck. And yes, I'll still have second thoughts about washing floors. That's not what I went to school for, I am sorry. I'd have second thoughts, too, if I were offered a job as a neurosurgeon or rocket scientist, too, because those, as well, are not things I went to school for. I'm sorry? As for feeding myself, my husband-to-be, or my kid-to-be, it really is our problem. Maybe we'll never have to wash floors, or maybe we will. Who knows? But either way, it's not your place to judge how anyone feels about it.

I am well aware that Mexicans work so hard and become business owners. But you know what, Croatians or Danes or Austrians can work as hard, or harder. I also am aware that Moroccans work as cooks. But have you ever read anything about Morocco, if not actually been there? I really do not want to insult anyone, but it's a fact that an average Moroccan would gladly do anything to get out of the country, whereas an average, for instance, German, really wouldn't. Times have changed. Please wake up and realize that, before throwing insults at people.

One more thing - I really have no reason to thank 'that country' for the opportunity. I make my own opportunities and I work hard for them. Here in Croatia, elsewhere in Europe, in Asia or even in the "paradise-land" known as the United States of America.

Oh brother

I have lived in 5 different countries and travelled to over 30. I speak 4 Languages fluently so I hardly qualify as unknowledgable about other countries. I welcome you to come to the United States and display that attitude in public around Americans who are suffering in the worst economic crisis we have ever experienced. Europe is right behind us, look at how the euro is plummeting. Call the country paradise land and say to Americans that you are not thankful for the opportunity to be here. In fact , do it front of a mother who lost her child in Iraq or much better.. sit in a group of school children and say I dont have any reason to thank the USA for anything.

Well being that genocide happened in Croatia and Serbia, I doubt life for anyone was real easy there just a short time ago. Our peacekeepers were there trying to stop it. But you know what, dont say thank you to their families. Dont feel grateful to come here or live here..Ill say thank you for you.. You forget what was happening where you are from and who was there in the aftermath.But dont say thank you... Lots of others do. Feel entitiled... We are used to it..

there was mass genocide in your part of the world on all sides... Of course the USA looks like hell...

Ridiculous.. Truly ridiculous.. And this aint paradise? Oh brother

We are worthless I guess and certainly not paradise..But I say thank you.. Cause I have seen videos of mass graves in your part of the world..and it didnt look like disney to me

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

did you ever consider that both canada and us are both western.. not exactly like romania or lets say nigeria...both are very westernised and similar and close

You're the one who keeps forgetting that not all foreigners are the same and that not all of us come from the same 'third world' country. Again, I hate generalizations of this sort, but there is nothing wrong with Romania. It is just different than the US and it's no crime, at all.

You will have to realize that it is this process that evaluates and judges people WRONG, and that the system needs a huge overhaul. It's about time for the beneficiaries to start being treated as humans. It's about time that their assets, jobs, education start playing a role, too. Then, maybe, an educated Dane or German or Croatian, who is fluent in English won't be treated the same as someone from a 'fifth world country', who speaks no word of English at all, and really only wants that greencard.*

Until then, go bark at the system, please, and leave us all be.

*I apologize to any and all people from underdeveloped countries who are immigrating to the US for valid, legit reasons. We all aware that, anywhere in the world, there are many fraudulent relationships or other fraudulent actions when it comes to emmigration or immigration (as well as many other things).

Maybe.. I didnt author the system. But I have lived in Europe and frankly. I am not generalising. I just dont think people should weigh out what job they will have if they want to be with someone they supposedly love. I just feel sorry for the fiancee on the other end...And frankly I dont know how you dont understand that clearly

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

As far as my opinion. Its not for everyone. I think I feel harsh towards people who make decisions on being with someone they supposedly "love"based on economic decisions. If you love someone, you dont survey the economy. You go to where your spouse is or fiancee and make a go of it. Scandanavia has great social benefits but the taxes are hell and its very hard to start a business much less pay the taxes that go along with living there. Someone Danish or Swedish many times speaks more fluent English than many americans because they start learning it very easily and because they use English all the time, they adjust very easily to the USA. Denmark and Sweden are very empathetic to the hurting and the disadvantaged and unfortunately they now have a problem with criminality and people not working or even learning the language there because they dont really have to to benefit from the welfare system there.

when I lived there all new people had to take swedish classes. Now it s not compulsory. Jag kan still prata Svenska och Jag har inte bodde darborta en 24 ar. Jag lasse Svenska fortfarande och Jag kan forstar Svenska for att all studenten studerade svenka varje dag. Nu manga bor darborta och lasse och prata ingenting .

Once again, you're full of s**t. What are you trying to say? That I am not in love with my fiance because we actually spent some time thinking where it would be better for us to live?! And then YOU come to preach here about how it's good to wash floors to feed your kids? Why not think about that in advance and not even get yourself to a position where kids need to be fed, while you don't provide enough to pay for their meal? So, yes, my fiance and I love each other very much, but we really did study all our possibilities and ended up deciding what's best for us. Because, hey, believe it or not, love wouldn't feed us and won't, ever.

Taxes in Scandinavia are high for a reason. Taxes in Croatia are high for a reason. And, as a result, I can go have a free surgery or cough medicine. My kids, here, would be able to get education for free. I like that. You are free to disagree.

As for foreigners speaking better English than many Americans... well, maybe those Americans could figure out why that is. I'm sure an American starts learning English earlier than an average Dane or Croatian.

Also also, here in Europe, our kids are still safe. We don't have to drive them to schools, nor they get randomly killed in them either. I am not saying all of America is like that, but on average, Europe is still ages behind and you're, again, wrong.

If Denmark and Sweden continue taking in throngs of people who are giving nothing back to those countries, it will not remain safe for long. In fact, one of the guantamo detainess from Denmark who just got released just robbed a bank last week and was trying to commit terrorism in Denmark . There are gang rapes in Sweden. The welfare system there is ready to burst. The system works there if people work. When you have more people not working, not contributing and the tax system has to support them, the system will burst. Its happening in Sweden. I dont know about Denmark though.. Although the Danish cartoonists unleashed a firestorm around Europe and its pretty clear how many danes feel about muslims. ( By the way my grandfather is from Denmark and I have been there 9 or 10 times) My last trip saddened me. I didnt almost recognise Northern Europe. Its far from Idyllic anymore. Danes are some of the nicesst most tolerant people in Europe. But its hard to be tolerant when people are forming terrorist cells..Why are you taking this to your situation. The original posting was a girl trying to decide whether she wanted to live here based on economic opportunity. She wasnt offering for her fiancee live where she lived. She was abandoning the relationship based on economics which is sleazy frankly. Please stop running my country down because frankly I have lived in Northern Europe there are lots of issues there.. Maybe health care is free but the taxes are murder. There is little or no opportunity to start a small business and its cradle to the grave care.. but that can only go on if everyone pays taxes... There are now terror cells operating out of Denmark and Sweden because no one was street smart enough to understand that letting militants in would one day backfire

Its no secret many Danes and Swedes dislike the USA and Americans. I used to have to sit in my swedish high school and listen to my swedish friends go on and on and on about how horrible the USA is ( and then of course they would all become exchange students and study here) go figure..

This is not everyones situation but how exactly does love factor in to any of this? Is every move just a calculated economic choice...I wish it wasnt but oh well

http://islamineurope.blogspot.com/2007/09/...een-recent.html

[Badgerella 5]

Oh brother

I have lived in 5 different countries and travelled to over 30. I speak 4 Languages fluently so I hardly qualify as unknowledgable about other countries. I welcome you to come to the United States and display that attitude in public around Americans who are suffering in the worst economic crisis we have ever experienced. Europe is right behind us, look at how the euro is plummeting. Call the country paradise land and say to Americans that you are not thankful for the opportunity to be here. In fact , do it front of a mother who lost her child in Iraq or much better.. sit in a group of school children and say I dont have any reason to thank the USA for anything.

Well being that genocide happened in Croatia and Serbia, I doubt life for anyone was real easy there just a short time ago. Our peacekeepers were there trying to stop it. But you know what, dont say thank you to their families. Dont feel grateful to come here or live here..Ill say thank you for you.. You forget what was happening where you are from and who was there in the aftermath.But dont say thank you... Lots of others do. Feel entitiled... We are used to it..

there was mass genocide in your part of the world on all sides... Of course the USA looks like hell...

Ridiculous.. Truly ridiculous.. And this aint paradise? Oh brother

We are worthless I guess and certainly not paradise..But I say thank you.. Cause I have seen videos of mass graves in your part of the world..and it didnt look like disney to me

I'll once more shatter your dream and say that I DO NOT consider the US to be a paradise land, or that I have to thank anyone for the opportunity to be there. EXCEPT for my fiance and his family for a shelter they'll give me until I am legal to start working and providing for myself and, of course, my newly found family.

No war, let alone that one in Iraq is my responsibility or fault and I really have no reason to feel guilty about it. I would assume you know where or who you could address when it comes to this problem. I will, however, reserve my right to feel sorry for whoever I want and I do not need you to lecture me about that either.

As for the genocide you mention, please reach out for some history books and then come back and preach. I've been here all my life and am old enough to know and see things around me. I am doing fine, thank you for asking, so are people around me. With due respect for anyone who has died for this country, including those from my own family, I have to remind you that graves are anywhere in the world and that they do not keep people from moving on with their lives. The Disney comment is completely out of place, anyway, as I never wanted to live in the Disney world.

Rarely any Croatian is looking to emmigrate to the US and those who end up doing so are NOT doing it because here we are being slaughtered or piss-poor. Again, I am sorry to shatter your dreams or fluffy clouds you live on. And, yes, in the modern world I do feel entitled to live wherever I want to. My duty is to respect and obey laws and as long as I do that, I see no reason why I should be thankful that a country wants to keep me around. Maybe the country should be happy to have me around? O.O

[Badgerella 5]

Maybe.. I didnt author the system. But I have lived in Europe and frankly. I am not generalising. I just dont think people should weigh out what job they will have if they want to be with someone they supposedly love. I just feel sorry for the fiancee on the other end...And frankly I dont know how you dont understand that clearly

I understand that, clearly, but I stick to my right to disagree with you.

I say people SHOULD weigh out what job they have now and what their opportunities are before they just decide to move to the other side of the world (the other side of the country, or even just down the street, really). I assure you that you do not have to feel sorry for my fiance (or probably any other) because he was also part of this process. If I chose to move to the US without thinking or considering my possibilities there (and comparing them to those that I have here), then I would have felt really sorry for him. Or if we chose to have him move to Croatia without considering his possibilities here, and comparing them to those that he has in the US. Neither would have been a smart decision. And, again, I am sorry to inform you that I like my decisions to be smart. After all, he and I are about to start a new family. Shouldn't we want the best for it?

[Badgerella 5]

The original posting was a girl trying to decide whether she wanted to live here based on economic opportunity. She wasnt offering for her fiancee live where she lived. She was abandoning the relationship based on economics which is sleazy frankly. Please stop running my country down because frankly I have lived in Northern Europe there are lots of issues there.. Maybe health care is free but the taxes are murder. There is little or no opportunity to start a small business and its cradle to the grave care.. but that can only go on if everyone pays taxes... There are now terror cells operating out of Denmark and Sweden because no one was street smart enough to understand that letting militants in would one day backfire

Its no secret many Danes and Swedes dislike the USA and Americans. I used to have to sit in my swedish high school and listen to my swedish friends go on and on and on about how horrible the USA is ( and then of course they would all become exchange students and study here) go figure..

This is not everyones situation but how exactly does love factor in to any of this? Is every move just a calculated economic choice...I wish it wasnt but oh well

The original post was about the OP's fiance HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS BECAUSE SHE IS SUPPOSED TO MOVE TO A BRAND NEW, FAR-AWAY COUNTRY. That really should not be hard to understand. It's not your place to judge or ask about love, there. That part, as well as everything else, really is between the said woman and her fiance. Or, in other words, hey - it's none of your business.

And, since you must have missed my point, despite all my effort to literally draw it for you, I will, again, repeat it for you: I am not running your country down. At. All. I just refuse to let you run MINE down, or any other country in the world, which you keep doing, repeatedly.

* People live all over the world, not just in the United States of America.

* Many people are really happy where they live, or with what they have.

* People who live outside of the US do not necessarily wish to become American citizens. Many, if not most, actually never would accept the offer.

* People who do immigrate to the US quite often do NOT do so because they hated their country of origin, or were not satisfied with it.

* Croatia [insert any other country] is not as big or developed as the US, but that does not make it, in and of itself, a bad place to live in.

* Romania, since that is the country OP's fiancee is from, is not a bad place to live in either. The woman really could be happy there, financially and otherwise.

* There are countries that are more developed or overall more successful than the US.

* Immigrants are not, per se, any worse than you are.

* You are not, per se, any better than the immigrants.

I could go on and on, but at this point, I can really either hope you'll get the point, or rest my case and stop wasting time.

[Cassie 8]

Maybe.. I didnt author the system. But I have lived in Europe and frankly. I am not generalising. I just dont think people should weigh out what job they will have if they want to be with someone they supposedly love. I just feel sorry for the fiancee on the other end...And frankly I dont know how you dont understand that clearly

I understand that, clearly, but I stick to my right to disagree with you.

I say people SHOULD weigh out what job they have now and what their opportunities are before they just decide to move to the other side of the world (the other side of the country, or even just down the street, really). I assure you that you do not have to feel sorry for my fiance (or probably any other) because he was also part of this process. If I chose to move to the US without thinking or considering my possibilities there (and comparing them to those that I have here), then I would have felt really sorry for him. Or if we chose to have him move to Croatia without considering his possibilities here, and comparing them to those that he has in the US. Neither would have been a smart decision. And, again, I am sorry to inform you that I like my decisions to be smart. After all, he and I are about to start a new family. Shouldn't we want the best for it?

Amen sister Badgerella, amen. It's a foolish person that picks ups and leaves everything they know just because they are "in love" without considering the consequences of their actions. We thought long and hard about which country we should live in, and just because I came from a westernized country, that doesn't mean there are not significant differences between it and the US, and one has to think it all through. And just because the end result was me coming here to the US, does not mean I have to automatically begin to toe the "America is the best place in the world to live in and I should be ever so grateful to be living here" line. The US is good, and has a lot going for it, but it is not the be all and end all in this world.....and that's ok. Just because I question it and have my opinions about it doesn't mean I hate it or strive on a daily basis to run it down or denigrate it.

Although I do think that the OP and his fiance should have thought about this and worked it all out before even getting to this point, at least they are talking about it now.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Oh brother

I have lived in 5 different countries and travelled to over 30. I speak 4 Languages fluently so I hardly qualify as unknowledgable about other countries. I welcome you to come to the United States and display that attitude in public around Americans who are suffering in the worst economic crisis we have ever experienced. Europe is right behind us, look at how the euro is plummeting. Call the country paradise land and say to Americans that you are not thankful for the opportunity to be here. In fact , do it front of a mother who lost her child in Iraq or much better.. sit in a group of school children and say I dont have any reason to thank the USA for anything.

Well being that genocide happened in Croatia and Serbia, I doubt life for anyone was real easy there just a short time ago. Our peacekeepers were there trying to stop it. But you know what, dont say thank you to their families. Dont feel grateful to come here or live here..Ill say thank you for you.. You forget what was happening where you are from and who was there in the aftermath.But dont say thank you... Lots of others do. Feel entitiled... We are used to it..

there was mass genocide in your part of the world on all sides... Of course the USA looks like hell...

Ridiculous.. Truly ridiculous.. And this aint paradise? Oh brother

We are worthless I guess and certainly not paradise..But I say thank you.. Cause I have seen videos of mass graves in your part of the world..and it didnt look like disney to me

I'll once more shatter your dream and say that I DO NOT consider the US to be a paradise land, or that I have to thank anyone for the opportunity to be there. EXCEPT for my fiance and his family for a shelter they'll give me until I am legal to start working and providing for myself and, of course, my newly found family.

No war, let alone that one in Iraq is my responsibility or fault and I really have no reason to feel guilty about it. I would assume you know where or who you could address when it comes to this problem. I will, however, reserve my right to feel sorry for whoever I want and I do not need you to lecture me about that either.

As for the genocide you mention, please reach out for some history books and then come back and preach. I've been here all my life and am old enough to know and see things around me. I am doing fine, thank you for asking, so are people around me. With due respect for anyone who has died for this country, including those from my own family, I have to remind you that graves are anywhere in the world and that they do not keep people from moving on with their lives. The Disney comment is completely out of place, anyway, as I never wanted to live in the Disney world.

Rarely any Croatian is looking to emmigrate to the US and those who end up doing so are NOT doing it because here we are being slaughtered or piss-poor. Again, I am sorry to shatter your dreams or fluffy clouds you live on. And, yes, in the modern world I do feel entitled to live wherever I want to. My duty is to respect and obey laws and as long as I do that, I see no reason why I should be thankful that a country wants to keep me around. Maybe the country should be happy to have me around? O.O

Croatias death camps were some of the best. Personally my dad fought in ww2 and I am grateful to the Americans that stopped the slaughter of a quarter million going on in your country. Their liberation of the death camps in your country saved thousands

The United States Holocaust Museum has an entire section devoted to the genocide perpetuated by Croatians on Jews,Roma and others.

You arent the only one not apologising :your president refuses to apologise for the death camp run out of your country and says that the holocaust was a victory for Croatia

And Croatia was one of the biggest allies of the Nazis.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Maybe.. I didnt author the system. But I have lived in Europe and frankly. I am not generalising. I just dont think people should weigh out what job they will have if they want to be with someone they supposedly love. I just feel sorry for the fiancee on the other end...And frankly I dont know how you dont understand that clearly

I understand that, clearly, but I stick to my right to disagree with you.

I say people SHOULD weigh out what job they have now and what their opportunities are before they just decide to move to the other side of the world (the other side of the country, or even just down the street, really). I assure you that you do not have to feel sorry for my fiance (or probably any other) because he was also part of this process. If I chose to move to the US without thinking or considering my possibilities there (and comparing them to those that I have here), then I would have felt really sorry for him. Or if we chose to have him move to Croatia without considering his possibilities here, and comparing them to those that he has in the US. Neither would have been a smart decision. And, again, I am sorry to inform you that I like my decisions to be smart. After all, he and I are about to start a new family. Shouldn't we want the best for it?

Amen sister Badgerella, amen. It's a foolish person that picks ups and leaves everything they know just because they are "in love" without considering the consequences of their actions. We thought long and hard about which country we should live in, and just because I came from a westernized country, that doesn't mean there are not significant differences between it and the US, and one has to think it all through. And just because the end result was me coming here to the US, does not mean I have to automatically begin to toe the "America is the best place in the world to live in and I should be ever so grateful to be living here" line. The US is good, and has a lot going for it, but it is not the be all and end all in this world.....and that's ok. Just because I question it and have my opinions about it doesn't mean I hate it or strive on a daily basis to run it down or denigrate it.

Although I do think that the OP and his fiance should have thought about this and worked it all out before even getting to this point, at least they are talking about it now.

Its not the best place to live but there are alot of positives about living here. I like Canada almost better than the usa but you would have to move the country down into another weather zone because the cold is unbearable. I adore adore adore Quebec