Never thought I would post here!

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Your post was wonderful but I think you kind of misinterpreted what was originally being said. The poster was actually just detailing a common "high fraud" scenario wherein the non-USC spouse is significantly better looking than the USC. (Among other things, obviously.) The line of thought being that if you can't attract "that kind" of person here, it's not very likely that you'll find "that kind" of person overseas.

Well, then, it'd seem we were in agreement there. I'd just spare anyone else the same painful and time/money-wasting experience by saying that, while no one should ever doubt a relationship JUST because he or she perceives the partner as disparately attractive, it should easily throw up red flags if there is a glaring difference in appearance and lifestyle, and that person is lavishing praise upon you without really seeming to have any substantial basis for it.

Or, the shorter version of it: I'd expect a giddy 17 year-old to fall into such a trap, but not a grown woman who should have her wits about her.

And that is PRECISELY the point I was making.....I am definitely no supermodel myself, neither is my husband, so my intention was not to disparage or demean anyone based on size, but merely to highlight a common scenario that happens time and time again....

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Or, the shorter version of it: I'd expect a giddy 17 year-old to fall into such a trap, but not a grown woman who should have her wits about her.

Never underestimate the force that low self-esteem can have on a woman. When you've been ignored (at best) or abused (at worst) all of your life, because of your looks or something else, you'd be surprised at how /lovely/ someone who says all the right things seems...

exactly.....I grew up in Jamaica, and EVERY woman no matter how they look are bombarded by compliments from every man that passes by....The difference in the States is that men don't do that..when any man tells me how beautiful I am, I just wonder what he wants or brush the compliment off as being trash talking....Problem happens when women not used to being flattered start taking these 'fishing' compliments as being heartfelt....

[Dwarf_Ogress 0]

Wow. This post has been busy! lol Sorry I haven't been around, I moved in with a friend and I have been very busy with work, school, friends, and a social life. I just wanted to say that I have my reasons for calling my marriage a fraud which many of my friends and family will attest to. I have lived it and I don't care what anyone else thinks. I will not expound further as I feel no need to justify my thoughts, not too be rude but it is a public board. Also, I appreciate everyone's insight and well wishes. And JaEnglishGirl, you are not public enemy one! You made some good points and I appreciate your insight and the way you think! It's also nice to know that I am unattractive! lol Sorry, had to throw that one in.

Anyhow, I am moving on in the right direction and I wish him no ill-will, I hope he finds happiness with his new woman and I harbor nothing but the best of memories.

Hopefully this thread can be locked as it did tend to stray out of proportion a bit!

Happy Holidays and you'll see me around, feel free to send me a PM for my contact details if you wish to keep in touch!

[bhajishah 4]

I like your confidence !!! you go strong girl ups and down ups and downs this is life eh..as long as we do the right things ourself then thats the test..

I like your confidence !!! you go strong girl ups and down ups and downs this is life eh..as long as we do the right things ourself then thats the test..

[BelwinMills 0]

All the best Sarah!! I know I am very very late. Hang in there and all the best in the New Year!!! Much Love...

Very interesting read.