Yardies at home and farrin (part 10)

[jamerican 2]

This is hilarious!

There is

not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!--

The Smiths

were unable to conceive

children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day

the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,

'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a

door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a

sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he

said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith

cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the

photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I

had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing,

'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually

try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And

sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out

there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out

for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one

every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or

seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs.

Smith

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has

to take his time. I'd love to be In

and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith

quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a

portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her

throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you

consider their mother was so difficult to work

with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the

park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep

to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith , her eyes wide

with amazement.

'Yes', t he photographer replied. 'And for more

than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could

hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.

Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack

it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually

chewed on your, uh...equipment? '

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll

set-up my tripod and we can get to work right

away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon

on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very

long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted

Enjoy

Pecky

ROTHLMAO!!!!!

[morantbaygirl 0]

Pecky almost had soda up my nose I am at work Thonks Mon .

[jamerican 2]

Morning all.....

Has anyone checked airfare lately? Although I will be in Jamaica 2 weeks from today.. I was looking for my next trip which may possibly be in March and the ticket is over $200 less than my trip now.....!!! RT $440 from west coast....OMG!!! wish I had money to get it now!!!

Jamerican..I noticed that the later I book my ticket, the better deal I get. I just booked my flight in January for $199 r/t. Its only $50 less than if I had bought it last week, but I can do a lot with $50

Hope everyone is having a great wknd

I think I would loose my mind if it only cost me $200!! I would never see my friends and family in the states....they think i am crazy already for going a couple times a year......whooooo weeeee I would never be home(usa).

[morantbaygirl 0]

Jalove how are u doing I am doing flu shots, I hate when the babies . I have 45 more mins .

[morantbaygirl 0]

I see u too jamerican Helloooooo!!!!! I want to go home!!!!!!!!

[sus 70]

Pecky that is too funny!

Hiya Lawny!

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Pecky that is too funny!

Hiya Lawny!

Sus, what's up.

[sus 70]

I am trying to write my paper - not motivated at all!

Hi JALove, how is Miss Sanaa?

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Hey ladies !

Sus..u better get motivated real quick

[1luv 1]

This is hilarious!

There is

not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!--

The Smiths

were unable to conceive

children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day

the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,

'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a

door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a

sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he

said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith

cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the

photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I

had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing,

'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually

try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And

sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out

there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out

for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one

every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or

seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs.

Smith

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has

to take his time. I'd love to be In

and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith

quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a

portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her

throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you

consider their mother was so difficult to work

with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the

park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep

to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith , her eyes wide

with amazement.

'Yes', t he photographer replied. 'And for more

than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could

hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.

Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack

it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually

chewed on your, uh...equipment? '

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll

set-up my tripod and we can get to work right

away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon

on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very

long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted

Enjoy

Pecky

I laughed so hard that my head is hurting

[tnw 0]

Morning all.....

Has anyone checked airfare lately? Although I will be in Jamaica 2 weeks from today.. I was looking for my next trip which may possibly be in March and the ticket is over $200 less than my trip now.....!!! RT $440 from west coast....OMG!!! wish I had money to get it now!!!

I know! We paid about $350 RT for our January tickets on Amer Airlines and here, I saw USAIR has RT outta Pittsburgh for $198???!!!

Still no EAD/AP just yet...hopefully they'll be here in time for the trip! LOLLL

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Hi Ton..hang in there soon come

[*JG* 2]

Check out the names in this story from the Observer today.......

In the meantime, the murder of brothers Ricardo 'Pete' Wauchope, 16, and 13-year-old Ricardo 'Punti' Wauchope, as well as Albert Smith, 46, and Richard 'Ray Ray' Henry, 19, further damned the reputation of the community which is said to be responsible for almost 50 per cent of the almost 200 homicides in the Montego Bay police division this year.

WTH???????

Well, I was commenting on the exact same names for the kids. That has got to be confusing. But, yeah, I've been up in that area. Not a nice place to be. Pretty nice houses, though.

ok so what about you then island, another one for you maybe???

None! Let me see if I remember how Claire worded it - my baby bag is being used as a parachute in Iraq?!?! I had a tubal after my daughter. I have two, one of each - and only two hands.

Plus..it doesn't look like A will make it here while his baby making days are working.

what r u talking about island that man in the photo with you looks like a young buck. his baby making days looks like it's endless.

GD - I'm gonna quit posting with my typos!! Actually a client walked in while I was goofing off on that one.

May look like a young buck but acts like an old man, sometimes. He is 3 years younger than me. He mentioned about having more when/if he gets here (he knows I had a tubal) and I said okay sure - you just keep hitting like you are trying to make one. That would be okay with me.

Ha ha.....Now, that is funny, Island.

[*JG* 2]

thanks guys

but 1luv..u know mi affi keep miself looking good afta mi cyaan mash up....2 pickney nuffi mash mi up ...lmao

I know what u mean. We who have more dan one pickney look 100 times betta dan some ah emi wey nuh have not even 1. Dont u agree?

Where is Shrewdie. I want to know who I got. I want to start shopping and to get enough time to ship my gift. I am Toronto so mine might take a lil longer

she took u off the list:) sorry to tell u

nuh ramp wid me

Oh definately on that first statement!

[*JG* 2]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...30&start=30

This is in the "NOTMRS: I never thought I'd post here" thread. I suggest all yardie wives and future wives get on there and give her ignoranamus butt some good old fashion verbal whoop-###. GROSS

Thanks for pointing it out NYC. (That makes you an honorary member of Sus' and my detective agency, you know!)

NYC..some ppl are just ignorant..I really wanted to post something but I think i better not...

Kimmy....I would actually like to see your comments. How you going to write them, all riled up, and not in Patois so the OP can understand your words?????????