Yardies at home and farrin (part 10)

[Islandwoman 0]

Hey ladies, i was just back reading and had to respond, i dont take your posts as harmful or overstepping at all, yeah i know sometimes i can be wrong as hell and i know it and i even tell D that i may be wrong. My issue has never been with the kids at all, just that i feel that right now the issue with the BM is working my nerves, she has resurfaced but only when she wants too. She has made no effort that i am aware of to find someplace to live, and has been from pillar to post, in the mean time D has been taking care of them. I could care less about rooksin hell i was celibate for 2 years, cause i was doing me, not concerned about sexing anyone. i just tend to get frustrated from day to day. Me and D have talked about the kids coming to the States after he is working, i have told him i cannot support a family of 7 or 8 alone, i dont care how they do it in JA. Daycare alone would put me in the poor house. I accept his kids and want to love them like i love my own, i have purchased christmas gifts and the like for all of them. I know im being selfish, selfish as hell, the situation at hand is definitely a test to the relationship. I think whole heartedly that BM knows what she is doing, and hell maybe she just needs a break i mean as a woman we all need that sometime. I guess the issue with me, has been that i get somewhat irritated because he isnt handling the situation like i feel he should that is the controlling side of me, when i have no control over a situation it frustrates the hell outta me. I have had my plane ticket to JA since returning , we had agreed i would stay there, i took the time off from both jobs, no worries Mon. Now here it is around 30 days or so before im to leave, i have no reservations for someplace to stay, cant stay with him and gonna have to pull money out my tail if i want to stay in OChi. I could stay with him but there wouldnt be enough room to fart in the apartment with all of us. He is gonna have to leave for work and im not sure how she is gonna respond to me being there and being with her kids since im farrin and evil. SO believe me, i dont claim to be right, cause i know D has no control over the matter it just pisses me off is all. I know yall love me... SO dont worry sometimes we need to hear things whether we want or not....LOL

Keep in mind that they live different than us - in that you are only inside to sleep. Otherwise you are hanging outside in the yard - so it doesn't matter how big the house is. This will be a big test - but a needed one to see how ya'll mesh for the future. If she thinks you are evil now, there is a good chance that she will put up a fight about the boys coming in the future. (Trust me - we fight that fight at every junction.) This could be the opportunity to build that bridge now.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Jaws mi totally agree...so mi nah seh nuttin more

ok..i changed my mind...Honey this is one of the reasons so many women gets pissed at the "farrin" ooman because it just seems as if u only want to have sex and don't give a rats about whatever else that goes on

Well I know nobody talkin to me but here goes... I think I understand where the Ja women are coming from and I could see how they get that notion that farrin woman want to just have sex and don't care about anything but speakin for this "farrin" woman I have not even had sex with my SO. I am not looking for a fling I am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with however long that happens to be. I can't speak for anyone else but I think that a lot of things get distorted because they are viewed thru the lens of stereotypes on both sides of this equation.

Your right Sol, things to get "stereotyped" but lets face it sometimes ITS THE TRUTH!! People....a stereotype is only relative. If you are performing like said "stereotype" then IT IS NO LONGER A STEREOTYPE for you!!! I don't know anyones whole story on here or how they act in JA, but come on now.....ask yourself.....am i not acting like the stereotype?

Yes....No? What is it that JA men say about foreign women....are you that girl? What is it that JA women hate about foreign women.....are you that girl? Now if you're not then keep it moving and know that they "stereotype" is just that. Otherwise lets quit calling it stereotype when its truth!

if the shoe fits wear it..exactly !!!

[sus 70]

Marlita, what is an MFA? How bizarre that you picked up a stalker now after all this time - some people have no life!

Master of Fine Arts.

Yes....some people!

ah, okay - In some ways I am regretting doing my MS, because I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sick of school (as I play on VJ and don't write my paper, lol) - In other ways, I am glad I am doing it now and almost done.

[JaHoney 3]

alright yall my battery is dead for real, im gonna have to go

[Marlita 0]

Jaws mi totally agree...so mi nah seh nuttin more

ok..i changed my mind...Honey this is one of the reasons so many women gets pissed at the "farrin" ooman because it just seems as if u only want to have sex and don't give a rats about whatever else that goes on

Well I know nobody talkin to me but here goes... I think I understand where the Ja women are coming from and I could see how they get that notion that farrin woman want to just have sex and don't care about anything but speakin for this "farrin" woman I have not even had sex with my SO. I am not looking for a fling I am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with however long that happens to be. I can't speak for anyone else but I think that a lot of things get distorted because they are viewed thru the lens of stereotypes on both sides of this equation.

Your right Sol, things to get "stereotyped" but lets face it sometimes ITS THE TRUTH!! People....a stereotype is only relative. If you are performing like said "stereotype" then IT IS NO LONGER A STEREOTYPE for you!!! I don't know anyones whole story on here or how they act in JA, but come on now.....ask yourself.....am i not acting like the stereotype?

Yes....No? What is it that JA men say about foreign women....are you that girl? What is it that JA women hate about foreign women.....are you that girl? Now if you're not then keep it moving and know that they "stereotype" is just that. Otherwise lets quit calling it stereotype when its truth!

if the shoe fits wear it..exactly !!!

And I just want to say, I'm not mentioning anyone specifically, its just that the word "stereotype" gets thrown around so often as if the action is a fallacy. Sometimes a person is just acting stereotypical...end of story. Sometimes these JA men ARE stereotypical!! I dont care what nobody say...some of them are a hot mess of craziness, users and abusers!! But some are not that stereotype. Same with the foreign women...on this Yardie thread and not....act stereotypical....end of story. Just be honest with it all and either accept the stereotype, quit acting like it, or run away from it as far as you can! Either option does NOT change that the "stereotype" is not true!

[Islandwoman 0]

Jawi, your right the funny thing is i read your first post and skipped all the other pages just to respond, your right if D stated what im stating i would totally have an attitude, crazy i know, but the funny thing is im telling him just what im telling you all, i tell him it has nothing to do with the kids and everything to do with not having control of the situation. i have also told him dont apologize to me about the kids being there, my frustration comes purely from the manipulation on BMs part. the other day she managed to get the boys and take them to wherever she was staying but then she dropped them back off and disappeared again for 2 days or she cant watch them but she will send her 16 year old, not by D up to his house to babysit, well where is he the 16 year old staying ???? see its the ####### like that sets me to bytching. So again, i have no issue with you voicing your feelings cause yeah im wrong as hell, i can admit that , just frustrated as hell .

okay gotta find some cables for real or im gonna be sitting in the car on VJ....LOL

Honey, just try to stand back and say "this is not something I can control." Be there to listen to D and support him and his decisions, but don't let it consume you or your relationship. He needs to work this out with BM himself.

[JaHoney 3]

alright vj ladies, im out.. chat with you all later

[Marlita 0]

Marlita, what is an MFA? How bizarre that you picked up a stalker now after all this time - some people have no life!

Master of Fine Arts.

Yes....some people!

ah, okay - In some ways I am regretting doing my MS, because I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sick of school (as I play on VJ and don't write my paper, lol) - In other ways, I am glad I am doing it now and almost done.

Yeah I thought i couldnt do the school thing again, but honestly I LOVE school and learning. it was just bills and work getting in my way, but now I realize that I wont really be happy doing this forever. I feel like my creativity is being sucked dry and I'm turning into a computer monkey.

[sus 70]

Well, I am logging off for the night - have to feed the crazy dog and then pack my clothes - my life of luxury with the hot tub and flat screen tv over the fireplace ends tomorrow when my cousin comes home!

[^KK^ 3]

I have to ask...are there any other members that are related on this forum?

Does it really matter? Jonesie and I are cousins and Wakey is my sister.

Doesn't matter at all....Just being curious...

[Lovesponge 0]

Jaws mi totally agree...so mi nah seh nuttin more

ok..i changed my mind...Honey this is one of the reasons so many women gets pissed at the "farrin" ooman because it just seems as if u only want to have sex and don't give a rats about whatever else that goes on

Well I know nobody talkin to me but here goes... I think I understand where the Ja women are coming from and I could see how they get that notion that farrin woman want to just have sex and don't care about anything but speakin for this "farrin" woman I have not even had sex with my SO. I am not looking for a fling I am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with however long that happens to be. I can't speak for anyone else but I think that a lot of things get distorted because they are viewed thru the lens of stereotypes on both sides of this equation.

Your right Sol, things to get "stereotyped" but lets face it sometimes ITS THE TRUTH!! People....a stereotype is only relative. If you are performing like said "stereotype" then IT IS NO LONGER A STEREOTYPE for you!!! I don't know anyones whole story on here or how they act in JA, but come on now.....ask yourself.....am i not acting like the stereotype?

Yes....No? What is it that JA men say about foreign women....are you that girl? What is it that JA women hate about foreign women.....are you that girl? Now if you're not then keep it moving and know that they "stereotype" is just that. Otherwise lets quit calling it stereotype when its truth!

if the shoe fits wear it..exactly !!!

Whats the stereotype? Am curious I was born in JA but they call me foreigna when i go home

[jawi876 2]

Jaws mi totally agree...so mi nah seh nuttin more

ok..i changed my mind...Honey this is one of the reasons so many women gets pissed at the "farrin" ooman because it just seems as if u only want to have sex and don't give a rats about whatever else that goes on

Well I know nobody talkin to me but here goes... I think I understand where the Ja women are coming from and I could see how they get that notion that farrin woman want to just have sex and don't care about anything but speakin for this "farrin" woman I have not even had sex with my SO. I am not looking for a fling I am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with however long that happens to be. I can't speak for anyone else but I think that a lot of things get distorted because they are viewed thru the lens of stereotypes on both sides of this equation.

Your right Sol, things to get "stereotyped" but lets face it sometimes ITS THE TRUTH!! People....a stereotype is only relative. If you are performing like said "stereotype" then IT IS NO LONGER A STEREOTYPE for you!!! I don't know anyones whole story on here or how they act in JA, but come on now.....ask yourself.....am i not acting like the stereotype?

Yes....No? What is it that JA men say about foreign women....are you that girl? What is it that JA women hate about foreign women.....are you that girl? Now if you're not then keep it moving and know that they "stereotype" is just that. Otherwise lets quit calling it stereotype when its truth!

if the shoe fits wear it..exactly !!!

And I just want to say, I'm not mentioning anyone specifically, its just that the word "stereotype" gets thrown around so often as if the action is a fallacy. Sometimes a person is just acting stereotypical...end of story. Sometimes these JA men ARE stereotypical!! I dont care what nobody say...some of them are a hot mess of craziness, users and abusers!! But some are not that stereotype. Same with the foreign women...on this Yardie thread and not....act stereotypical....end of story. Just be honest with it all and either accept the stereotype, quit acting like it, or run away from it as far as you can! Either option does NOT change that the "stereotype" is not true!

THANK YOU MARLITA!!! WELL SAID!!

[solsoeur 0]

Jaws mi totally agree...so mi nah seh nuttin more

ok..i changed my mind...Honey this is one of the reasons so many women gets pissed at the "farrin" ooman because it just seems as if u only want to have sex and don't give a rats about whatever else that goes on

Well I know nobody talkin to me but here goes... I think I understand where the Ja women are coming from and I could see how they get that notion that farrin woman want to just have sex and don't care about anything but speakin for this "farrin" woman I have not even had sex with my SO. I am not looking for a fling I am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with however long that happens to be. I can't speak for anyone else but I think that a lot of things get distorted because they are viewed thru the lens of stereotypes on both sides of this equation.

Your right Sol, things to get "stereotyped" but lets face it sometimes ITS THE TRUTH!! People....a stereotype is only relative. If you are performing like said "stereotype" then IT IS NO LONGER A STEREOTYPE for you!!! I don't know anyones whole story on here or how they act in JA, but come on now.....ask yourself.....am i not acting like the stereotype?

Yes....No? What is it that JA men say about foreign women....are you that girl? What is it that JA women hate about foreign women.....are you that girl? Now if you're not then keep it moving and know that they "stereotype" is just that. Otherwise lets quit calling it stereotype when its truth!

I hear you Lita and I know I see plenty of women actin like said stereotype but that has never been me cause my mother raised me right! Therefore I can let the nasty looks and the rude behavior I encounter "roll off me like water down a ducks back" as my mother puts it because I know 1. those people don't know me and 2. that is not who I am.

[jakeswife 0]

so i will be home this xmas god willing and i was thinking about being alone at night when my husband is doing the night shift. i usually sleep on the couch when my husband is at work so one night i decided to go to bed and i felt i feel like someone or something was holding me down on the bed. i woke up and felt shills down my spine and went back into to living room. i didn't sleep in the room when my husband did his night shift since. boy i will be living there now so i guess i will have to have the bible or a cross with me when i go to bed. or feel brave like king kong and just take a go at it again. i refuse to not go to my bed because of that 1 experience

Edited December 3, 2008 by jakeswife

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Shem..i didn't forget ur question..still thinking of how to word it for u