Yardies at home and farrin (part 10)

[sus 70]

Hi Everyone am new to this thread but it looks like fun. I was just reading through todays posts you all had me cracking up. Do you all post all throughout the day while at work?

Hey Lovesponge, glad you found us - Yes, we all pretend to work and post throughout the day Just jump in, you never know where the next topic will go, lol

Where are you from and your SO?

[Shemmy 4]

Hi Everyone am new to this thread but it looks like fun. I was just reading through todays posts you all had me cracking up. Do you all post all throughout the day while at work?

Welcome. No one gets their work done if you stay on all day.

[jawi876 2]

Hey ladies, i was just back reading and had to respond, i dont take your posts as harmful or overstepping at all, yeah i know sometimes i can be wrong as hell and i know it and i even tell D that i may be wrong. My issue has never been with the kids at all, just that i feel that right now the issue with the BM is working my nerves, she has resurfaced but only when she wants too. She has made no effort that i am aware of to find someplace to live, and has been from pillar to post, in the mean time D has been taking care of them. I could care less about rooksin hell i was celibate for 2 years, cause i was doing me, not concerned about sexing anyone. i just tend to get frustrated from day to day. Me and D have talked about the kids coming to the States after he is working, i have told him i cannot support a family of 7 or 8 alone, i dont care how they do it in JA. Daycare alone would put me in the poor house. I accept his kids and want to love them like i love my own, i have purchased christmas gifts and the like for all of them. I know im being selfish, selfish as hell, the situation at hand is definitely a test to the relationship. I think whole heartedly that BM knows what she is doing, and hell maybe she just needs a break i mean as a woman we all need that sometime. I guess the issue with me, has been that i get somewhat irritated because he isnt handling the situation like i feel he should that is the controlling side of me, when i have no control over a situation it frustrates the hell outta me. I have had my plane ticket to JA since returning , we had agreed i would stay there, i took the time off from both jobs, no worries Mon. Now here it is around 30 days or so before im to leave, i have no reservations for someplace to stay, cant stay with him and gonna have to pull money out my tail if i want to stay in OChi. I could stay with him but there wouldnt be enough room to fart in the apartment with all of us. He is gonna have to leave for work and im not sure how she is gonna respond to me being there and being with her kids since im farrin and evil. SO believe me, i dont claim to be right, cause i know D has no control over the matter it just pisses me off is all. I know yall love me... SO dont worry sometimes we need to hear things whether we want or not....LOL

Kids come first. Go and love those kids so much that they just can't stop talking about you. Don't let her throw a monkey wrench in your program if that's what you think she is doing.

[jakeswife 0]

Hey ladies, i was just back reading and had to respond, i dont take your posts as harmful or overstepping at all, yeah i know sometimes i can be wrong as hell and i know it and i even tell D that i may be wrong. My issue has never been with the kids at all, just that i feel that right now the issue with the BM is working my nerves, she has resurfaced but only when she wants too. She has made no effort that i am aware of to find someplace to live, and has been from pillar to post, in the mean time D has been taking care of them. I could care less about rooksin hell i was celibate for 2 years, cause i was doing me, not concerned about sexing anyone. i just tend to get frustrated from day to day. Me and D have talked about the kids coming to the States after he is working, i have told him i cannot support a family of 7 or 8 alone, i dont care how they do it in JA. Daycare alone would put me in the poor house. I accept his kids and want to love them like i love my own, i have purchased christmas gifts and the like for all of them. I know im being selfish, selfish as hell, the situation at hand is definitely a test to the relationship. I think whole heartedly that BM knows what she is doing, and hell maybe she just needs a break i mean as a woman we all need that sometime. I guess the issue with me, has been that i get somewhat irritated because he isnt handling the situation like i feel he should that is the controlling side of me, when i have no control over a situation it frustrates the hell outta me. I have had my plane ticket to JA since returning , we had agreed i would stay there, i took the time off from both jobs, no worries Mon. Now here it is around 30 days or so before im to leave, i have no reservations for someplace to stay, cant stay with him and gonna have to pull money out my tail if i want to stay in OChi. I could stay with him but there wouldnt be enough room to fart in the apartment with all of us. He is gonna have to leave for work and im not sure how she is gonna respond to me being there and being with her kids since im farrin and evil. SO believe me, i dont claim to be right, cause i know D has no control over the matter it just pisses me off is all. I know yall love me... SO dont worry sometimes we need to hear things whether we want or not....LOL

hey i know u r dealing with alot and i will not take it for granted the tremendous stress you are dealing with.i do understand how you feel about control it's something i am dealing with myself. i feel you express yourself very well just now and it would mean so much to your relationship with your hubby if you are as open to him about how you truly feel. lay it out there. the good and the bad feelings let him know why you are feeling this way and also remind him of your support. DO NOT let this woman mess up what you have with this man because you are the only one who truly knows how you feel about him. DO NOT let her take away your peace of mind and affect the direction of your relationship. i said it before if this is what you really want then embrace all you have to do to make it work.love u

Edited December 3, 2008 by jakeswife

[JaHoney 3]

Jawi, your right the funny thing is i read your first post and skipped all the other pages just to respond, your right if D stated what im stating i would totally have an attitude, crazy i know, but the funny thing is im telling him just what im telling you all, i tell him it has nothing to do with the kids and everything to do with not having control of the situation. i have also told him dont apologize to me about the kids being there, my frustration comes purely from the manipulation on BMs part. the other day she managed to get the boys and take them to wherever she was staying but then she dropped them back off and disappeared again for 2 days or she cant watch them but she will send her 16 year old, not by D up to his house to babysit, well where is he the 16 year old staying ???? see its the ####### like that sets me to bytching. So again, i have no issue with you voicing your feelings cause yeah im wrong as hell, i can admit that , just frustrated as hell .

okay gotta find some cables for real or im gonna be sitting in the car on VJ....LOL

[Lovesponge 0]

I am born Jamaican but been in the US since i was 7 years old. My SO is also in Jamaica, I met him 4/07 and we got engaged 8/08. We are madly, crazy in LOVE but this process is a tough one I guess if we can get through this we can get through anything

Hi Everyone am new to this thread but it looks like fun. I was just reading through todays posts you all had me cracking up. Do you all post all throughout the day while at work?

Welcome. No one gets their work done if you stay on all day.

I work at a bank so am gonna start logging on during the day.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Honey u think u have issues now...u wait til he gets here..u cannot make him deal with this situation any other way than he thinks he can.

[Islandwoman 0]

I am doing that this trip - Part of it we are being selfish - the other part is inna yaad - Dealing with an old lady with dementia who walks into the room while we're sleeping, strips naked and takes a sponge bath The things you do for love...

Hey Sus - better when you are sleeping than awake, eh??!!

[jakeswife 0]

I am born Jamaican but been in the US since i was 7 years old. My SO is also in Jamaica, I met him 4/07 and we got engaged 8/08. We are madly, crazy in LOVE but this process is a tough one I guess if we can get through this we can get through anything

Hi Everyone am new to this thread but it looks like fun. I was just reading through todays posts you all had me cracking up. Do you all post all throughout the day while at work?

Welcome. No one gets their work done if you stay on all day.

I work at a bank so am gonna start logging on during the day.

i feel u. this was very hard and at times it affected our relationship.we have been going through it for over 9 months and our interview is next thursday. hopefully everything will go smoothly and i will be home for xmas

Edited December 3, 2008 by jakeswife

[Shemmy 4]

Jawi, your right the funny thing is i read your first post and skipped all the other pages just to respond, your right if D stated what im stating i would totally have an attitude, crazy i know, but the funny thing is im telling him just what im telling you all, i tell him it has nothing to do with the kids and everything to do with not having control of the situation. i have also told him dont apologize to me about the kids being there, my frustration comes purely from the manipulation on BMs part. the other day she managed to get the boys and take them to wherever she was staying but then she dropped them back off and disappeared again for 2 days or she cant watch them but she will send her 16 year old, not by D up to his house to babysit, well where is he the 16 year old staying ???? see its the ####### like that sets me to bytching. So again, i have no issue with you voicing your feelings cause yeah im wrong as hell, i can admit that , just frustrated as hell .

Crazy question - is it possible for all 3 of you to sit down and discuss?

My friend was in the same situation. Her "boyfriend" kept telling her all these crazy BM stories...well they finally met two weeks ago but it was nothing like he said. The BM didn't even know my friend was going to petition for her kids to come to the US. Just a thought...

[Marlita 0]

Hello Ladies!

How's it going? I've been away for awhile. Just busy with work,......and I have a stalker/hacker to my VJ account. So I'll be changing my screen name and maybe creating a whole new account soon. Just cant think of a name.

Anyway, how's everyone doing? Congrats to all those whose cases are in the final stages or on new interviews, or finally done with the process and their SO is home.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

baby fathers deal with baby mothers differently in JA...there is an unwritten

[sus 70]

Jawi, your right the funny thing is i read your first post and skipped all the other pages just to respond, your right if D stated what im stating i would totally have an attitude, crazy i know, but the funny thing is im telling him just what im telling you all, i tell him it has nothing to do with the kids and everything to do with not having control of the situation. i have also told him dont apologize to me about the kids being there, my frustration comes purely from the manipulation on BMs part. the other day she managed to get the boys and take them to wherever she was staying but then she dropped them back off and disappeared again for 2 days or she cant watch them but she will send her 16 year old, not by D up to his house to babysit, well where is he the 16 year old staying ???? see its the ####### like that sets me to bytching. So again, i have no issue with you voicing your feelings cause yeah im wrong as hell, i can admit that , just frustrated as hell .

okay gotta find some cables for real or im gonna be sitting in the car on VJ....LOL

Honey, I understand what you are feeling - but bottom line to it is that for D, those kids have to come first - would you respect him as a man if they didn't? You are a Mom - put yourself in the position of making sure your boys were taken care of and safe, or spending time with D - what would your choice be? It's not an easy situation, but it's also not one that you can step in and take control of, as hard as that is - Regardless of what reason the baby mom is doing this for - Those kids need to come first. If you want to go and stay there - let him deal with what she has to say about you being at the house with his kids while he is at work - that's his issue to handle - If he can't handle it with you there for a visit, how will he handle it if he wants his kids to come here?

It's not easy to be involved with a man with kids - But those kids become yours - and the baby momma goes with them - As frustrating as it is to deal with, she will always be there if you marry D -

If I were in your shoes, I would take the opportunity that this trip offers - tell him you still want to come and stay at the house - let him deal with Momma and telling her that you will be there - see how he handles it.

[Islandwoman 0]

Jawi...ur a very passionate person...

Honey...u know we are here for you Honeychild...

I'm confused. Is there a hidden message here? True friends tell their friends when they are wrong...they will not always side with their friends just beause...I'm not a hypocrite. If he posted the same thing that Honey posted...half of you would be telling her to get rid of him.

I am true to myself first. People may not like what I have to say...but I believe in being fair and treating everyone with equal respect and truthfulness.

Jawi..I took this as a compliment. I'm glad to have friends like you show me (us) the other side of the coin. Sometimes we get to focused to flip it over ourselves.

[Shemmy 4]

baby fathers deal with baby mothers differently in JA...there is an unwritten

?? Example please....