Mahr - What Determines Worth?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Ok, first one disappeared before anyone got to read it.

I read somewhere that someone said that her Mahr was more than normal based on being white and fair-haired.

Do you believe this is really a factor in the determination of the size of a woman's Mahr?

How DOES that get determined, anyway? I've always wondered about dowries and such, so I figured I'd ask people who are actually involved with a culture that still has dowries/Mahrs/etc.

I am apparently worthless because I am the one in all the debt. Um...cannot relate to getting a big mahr because all I have gotten is a big *&*(( up my *(&( and it wasnt lubricated

Yes I said it

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Since I had to have one according to Adams culture, I asked for One Egyptian Pound for my dowry mahr. I got it and I treasure it. He wrote on it "I love you Tamy my wife" then wrote 7/22/2006. Its with my marriage certificate where it is recorded. Its not about money for me, its about the little things in life that matter. I know people who were promised large Mahrs and never given them before or after marriage. But every situation is different.

hmmm so I just found out that I didnt get a dowry. thats a good thing bcz I dont want to pay extra taxes!

Im glad I got my 1 pound mahr!

Edited November 18, 2008 by TamaraLovesAdam

[Leyla 0]

Ok, first one disappeared before anyone got to read it.

I read somewhere that someone said that her Mahr was more than normal based on being white and fair-haired.

Do you believe this is really a factor in the determination of the size of a woman's Mahr?

How DOES that get determined, anyway? I've always wondered about dowries and such, so I figured I'd ask people who are actually involved with a culture that still has dowries/Mahrs/etc.

I am apparently worthless because I am the one in all the debt. Um...cannot relate to getting a big mahr because all I have gotten is a big *&*(( up my *(&( and it wasnt lubricated

Yes I said it

Especially in America I don't think it is a good idea to put a real Price tag on a woman. We are already so hung up on our looks and then to put a price tag on us really makes us feel bad. There is always a woman that got a dowry bigger than ours.

When I told my mom about Tarik she said: "I'd better get some sheep and goats out of all this. Make sure there are female goats so they can have MORE goats!" I thought that was really funny.

Hanging in there, you are NOT WORTHLESS! BELIEVE ME. (L)

[Imua 0]

Is it really based more on looks than anything else???? I hope you're joking...

[Leyla 0]

Is it really based more on looks than anything else???? I hope you're joking...

I don't know if it is or not. All I'm saying is in America women think they are "Worthless" if they arn't beautiful. So whatever the dowry is for them they link that with their looks and their ACTUAL worth.

[morocco4ever 63]

You guys are cracking me up..Bridget, Layla....someone else but I can't remember their name off hand.

I don't know how anyone else feels about it, and yes I did get one. I was married once before, and I vowed that I would NEVER rely on anyone to take care of me again. I take great pride in the fact that I am a self supporting and successful career woman. So I suspect that my views a skewed.

That being said, to me expecting, asking, or receiving a large one would be like a slap in my face. Don't pay me. I am neither a hooker nor am I going to be paid for a green card. I heard somewhere (was it this thread?) that a woman has more value if she is lighter. I have the typical white skin, blonde hair(temporarily auburn now just for fun), light gray/green eyes. Do I think I should get more for these qualities? Not in the least. I find that the woman with dark skin, black hair, brown eyes can be and are quite stunning. I would NEVER think that what I have would EVER be above any other quality of a woman.

One other note, if it were appropriate to place a value on a woman it should be placed on her heart, her kindness, her generosity, and her personal values. That is worth more than looks.

[Leyla 0]

You guys are cracking me up..Bridget, Layla....someone else but I can't remember their name off hand.

I don't know how anyone else feels about it, and yes I did get one. I was married once before, and I vowed that I would NEVER rely on anyone to take care of me again. I take great pride in the fact that I am a self supporting and successful career woman. So I suspect that my views a skewed.

That being said, to me expecting, asking, or receiving a large one would be like a slap in my face. Don't pay me. I am neither a hooker nor am I going to be paid for a green card. I heard somewhere (was it this thread?) that a woman has more value if she is lighter. I have the typical white skin, blonde hair(temporarily auburn now just for fun), light gray/green eyes. Do I think I should get more for these qualities? Not in the least. I find that the woman with dark skin, black hair, brown eyes can be and are quite stunning. I would NEVER think that what I have would EVER be above any other quality of a woman.

One other note, if it were appropriate to place a value on a woman it should be placed on her heart, her kindness, her generosity, and her personal values. That is worth more than looks.

[Tunisia216 2]

I understand what you're all saying and I do agree that a woman's worth is absolutely not based upon her looks but upon the content of her character. However Islamically or traditionally speaking I view it more as a man showing his devotion to caring for his wife, providing for her, and his public expression of that commitment (no matter how great or small the value of the dowry may be). However, as I typically state, to each their own and what is best is what works for you and your life!

You guys are cracking me up..Bridget, Layla....someone else but I can't remember their name off hand.

I don't know how anyone else feels about it, and yes I did get one. I was married once before, and I vowed that I would NEVER rely on anyone to take care of me again. I take great pride in the fact that I am a self supporting and successful career woman. So I suspect that my views a skewed.

That being said, to me expecting, asking, or receiving a large one would be like a slap in my face. Don't pay me. I am neither a hooker nor am I going to be paid for a green card. I heard somewhere (was it this thread?) that a woman has more value if she is lighter. I have the typical white skin, blonde hair(temporarily auburn now just for fun), light gray/green eyes. Do I think I should get more for these qualities? Not in the least. I find that the woman with dark skin, black hair, brown eyes can be and are quite stunning. I would NEVER think that what I have would EVER be above any other quality of a woman.

One other note, if it were appropriate to place a value on a woman it should be placed on her heart, her kindness, her generosity, and her personal values. That is worth more than looks.

[sereia 0]

When I was traveling around Egypt I was once offered thousands of "rare white camels" if I married this 12 year old boy.

HAHAHAHA

[~Jackie~ 30]

Thousands? We could all have one

[Leyla 0]

I understand what you're all saying and I do agree that a woman's worth is absolutely not based upon her looks but upon the content of her character. However Islamically or traditionally speaking I view it more as a man showing his devotion to caring for his wife, providing for her, and his public expression of that commitment (no matter how great or small the value of the dowry may be). However, as I typically state, to each their own and what is best is what works for you and your life!

HOLLA! :thumbs: :thumbs:

Thousands? We could all have one

yeah... but for a 12 year old boy........

[morocco4ever 63]

I understand what you're all saying and I do agree that a woman's worth is absolutely not based upon her looks but upon the content of her character. However Islamically or traditionally speaking I view it more as a man showing his devotion to caring for his wife, providing for her, and his public expression of that commitment (no matter how great or small the value of the dowry may be). However, as I typically state, to each their own and what is best is what works for you and your life!

HOLLA! :thumbs: :thumbs:

Thousands? We could all have one

yeah... but for a 12 year old boy........

My husband was once 12

[sereia 0]

I actually took a picture of him because he was the most aggressive kid I ever met. kept blowing me kisses and such. Lets see if I can find the pic. lol

hottie..

Edited November 18, 2008 by Sheherazade

[Leyla 0]

I understand what you're all saying and I do agree that a woman's worth is absolutely not based upon her looks but upon the content of her character. However Islamically or traditionally speaking I view it more as a man showing his devotion to caring for his wife, providing for her, and his public expression of that commitment (no matter how great or small the value of the dowry may be). However, as I typically state, to each their own and what is best is what works for you and your life!

HOLLA! :thumbs: :thumbs:

Thousands? We could all have one

yeah... but for a 12 year old boy........

My husband was once 12

Well I guess being married to a 12 year old would be less stressful Dinner Choices would be: Mac n Cheese and Hotdogs or Lunchable. No fighting over money. Hmm...

[Tunisia216 2]

:dance: Are you going to give us all one? lol I am allotted 2 parking spaces in front of my house, and I only have one car, I wonder if I can park the white camel there

Thousands? We could all have one