Mahr - What Determines Worth?

[Ban Hammer 13,501]

ok, im replying to 184698 posts at once.. im getting overstimmed, i need to go take a break in another forum LOL

noob!

[nunyab 0]

hehehehe now this is the MENA I remember

[Hanna&Mohamed 0]

hehehehe now this is the MENA I remember

I agree also!!!! LOL

[ARALB 0]

In case anyone actually cares and isn't just looking to stir ####:

In most schools of thought (ie codified methods to interpret islam), there are several different sources from which a ruling is drawn. One of these is urf, culture. While mahr, dowry, is spoken about in the Qur'an, and we see that the companions of the Prophet (saws) all gave mahr, exactly what a man gives today is dependant upon the culture of himself and his wife. In Egypt, a man will have to purchase a fully furnished apartment. In Iraq, it's a certain amount of gold. In the US, a woman may ask for cash, a house, a car, a college education, a hajj trip, or any number of things.

Marriage without a dowry: Is it valid?

It should be noted that Islam does not stipulate a minimum or a maximum amount of dowry that must be paid. It is left to the traditions and customs of each territory, but the groom has to pay something to the bride regardless of the amount.

In your case, if you gathered to conclude the marriage contract and you did not mention the dowry, then your marriage is valid, but you need to pay your wife a dowry that is equal to her peers'.

Stipulations regarding mahr in the hanafi madhab

Therefore, if you did not fix or stipulate an amount as dowry (mahr) when marrying, then if you have consummated your marriage (which I'm sure you have, for you state being married for two years), you will be required to pay an amount which is typically received as dowry by similar brides (mahr al-mithl). Now, mahr al-mithl is that which is customarily received as dowry by brides from the wife's father's side, such as her sisters, paternal aunties, paternal auntie's daughters, etc. Her mother and maternal aunties will not be taken into consideration unless they are from her father's family. If no woman similar to her is found on her father's side, then one will look at other non-related women.

Excessive amounts of dowry

"Give them (women) their dowers." (Surah al-Nisa, 24)

The minimum amount for dowry is ten Dirhams (30.618 grams of silver) and there is no maximum limit. Thus, the bride and groom may mutually agree upon whatever sum they desire. However, it is wrong and disliked to fix a large sum as dowry, especially when the groom is not financially capable of paying the amount.

Sayyiduna Umar ibn al-Khattab (Allah be pleased with him) said: "Do not stipulate excessive amounts as dowry for women. If (doing so) was a token of honour in this world or a source of piety by Allah, then the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) would have been more worthy of it than you�." (Sunan Tirmidhi, no 1114)

Honestly- I had no idea about the dowry bit??? Needless to say I was terribly surprised when the court clerk asked how much I was asking?! I hadn't gone to get a dowry, or give one--- I just wanted a husband! Very interesting---

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I also understand that you were p*ssed if someone made a comment about your wife. However, carrying it on and on is just unecessary. Bringing your cronies onboard is also uncool IMHO.

It's like watching a mad highschooler get all of his friends, then get a mob mentality going and standing back laughing.

Hopefully everyone can chill out and stop the bashing. Im a little ashamed that some of the women on this board so freely drew out their claws and got to "mobbn" also.

Lisa

For the record, I didn't bring anyone over, nor did I ask them to take up the torch. There was already a topic at Expats about that thread, so I posted about the latest in there as a means to rant and curse and complain. If people felt the desire to come over to VJ and post their feelings about it, that's entirely up to them. I didn't recruit them.

Come on, you know you put up a billboard.

I knew this was a bait thread from the beginning. That's why I wouldn't comment on the topic. You guys over at Expats act your posts are transparent and no one can tell how you plot to come over to VJ and stir sh!t up with people you don't like. Frankly, Expats or no expats, platy, amby, len, tara, just your being here together in one thread is a red flag coz you have no other reason to be here other than to bait. Why anyone would spend so much time gossiping about people you never met but just don't agree with, putting out negative speculations, plotting to "get back" at them, and acting like gangbangers on a message board is beyond me. MENA women sanctioning a foray into MENA such as this is even more pathetic. Think whatever you want about your "enemies", but it takes a specially low-esteem type to waste time in groups doing that. There are all kinds in the world.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

hehehehe now this is the MENA I remember

I agree also!!!! LOL

cute pumpkin melinda

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Hey Kat, I know this is Off Topic, but I just got home 30 minutes ago from bringing Adam to work and Im on the phone with my mom now. Someone kicked in the door next to ours and robbed the stuff outta the ladies house. Shes pretty upset and Im pretty scared myself. Adam & I got our hookah stolen from our porch 2 weeks ago. Crime going up!!!

[PlatyPius 5]

I also understand that you were p*ssed if someone made a comment about your wife. However, carrying it on and on is just unecessary. Bringing your cronies onboard is also uncool IMHO.

It's like watching a mad highschooler get all of his friends, then get a mob mentality going and standing back laughing.

Hopefully everyone can chill out and stop the bashing. Im a little ashamed that some of the women on this board so freely drew out their claws and got to "mobbn" also.

Lisa

For the record, I didn't bring anyone over, nor did I ask them to take up the torch. There was already a topic at Expats about that thread, so I posted about the latest in there as a means to rant and curse and complain. If people felt the desire to come over to VJ and post their feelings about it, that's entirely up to them. I didn't recruit them.

Come on, you know you put up a billboard.

I knew this was a bait thread from the beginning. That's why I wouldn't comment on the topic. You guys over at Expats act your posts are transparent and no one can tell how you plot to come over to VJ and stir sh!t up with people you don't like. Frankly, Expats or no expats, platy, amby, len, tara, just your being here together in one thread is a red flag coz you have no other reason to be here other than to bait. Why anyone would spend so much time gossiping about people you never met but just don't agree with, putting out negative speculations, plotting to "get back" at them, and acting like gangbangers on a message board is beyond me. MENA women sanctioning a foray into MENA such as this is even more pathetic. Think whatever you want about your "enemies", but it takes a specially low-esteem type to waste time in groups doing that. There are all kinds in the world.

Why am I not surprised that you picked the one about you? lol

For the record, I NEVER thought Tara would actually post what I wrote. I wrote it to be funny. I meant every word, don't get me wrong. I really do feel that way. But I didn't for one second think she would post it verbatim over here.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I also understand that you were p*ssed if someone made a comment about your wife. However, carrying it on and on is just unecessary. Bringing your cronies onboard is also uncool IMHO.

It's like watching a mad highschooler get all of his friends, then get a mob mentality going and standing back laughing.

Hopefully everyone can chill out and stop the bashing. Im a little ashamed that some of the women on this board so freely drew out their claws and got to "mobbn" also.

Lisa

For the record, I didn't bring anyone over, nor did I ask them to take up the torch. There was already a topic at Expats about that thread, so I posted about the latest in there as a means to rant and curse and complain. If people felt the desire to come over to VJ and post their feelings about it, that's entirely up to them. I didn't recruit them.

Come on, you know you put up a billboard.

I knew this was a bait thread from the beginning. That's why I wouldn't comment on the topic. You guys over at Expats act your posts are transparent and no one can tell how you plot to come over to VJ and stir sh!t up with people you don't like. Frankly, Expats or no expats, platy, amby, len, tara, just your being here together in one thread is a red flag coz you have no other reason to be here other than to bait. Why anyone would spend so much time gossiping about people you never met but just don't agree with, putting out negative speculations, plotting to "get back" at them, and acting like gangbangers on a message board is beyond me. MENA women sanctioning a foray into MENA such as this is even more pathetic. Think whatever you want about your "enemies", but it takes a specially low-esteem type to waste time in groups doing that. There are all kinds in the world.

Why am I not surprised that you picked the one about you? lol

For the record, I NEVER thought Tara would actually post what I wrote. I wrote it to be funny. I meant every word, don't get me wrong. I really do feel that way. But I didn't for one second think she would post it verbatim over here.

I posted the one about me and the one about narina, but there are more, of course. Why waste time complaining about the supposed bad behavor of others while engaging in worse behavior? That kinda negates the point.

Oh, and I'm also the one who got Mike/Ewok to put the kabash on the plotting, too.

Edited November 20, 2008 by Virtual wife

[PlatyPius 5]

I also understand that you were p*ssed if someone made a comment about your wife. However, carrying it on and on is just unecessary. Bringing your cronies onboard is also uncool IMHO.

It's like watching a mad highschooler get all of his friends, then get a mob mentality going and standing back laughing.

Hopefully everyone can chill out and stop the bashing. Im a little ashamed that some of the women on this board so freely drew out their claws and got to "mobbn" also.

Lisa

For the record, I didn't bring anyone over, nor did I ask them to take up the torch. There was already a topic at Expats about that thread, so I posted about the latest in there as a means to rant and curse and complain. If people felt the desire to come over to VJ and post their feelings about it, that's entirely up to them. I didn't recruit them.

Come on, you know you put up a billboard.

I knew this was a bait thread from the beginning. That's why I wouldn't comment on the topic. You guys over at Expats act your posts are transparent and no one can tell how you plot to come over to VJ and stir sh!t up with people you don't like. Frankly, Expats or no expats, platy, amby, len, tara, just your being here together in one thread is a red flag coz you have no other reason to be here other than to bait. Why anyone would spend so much time gossiping about people you never met but just don't agree with, putting out negative speculations, plotting to "get back" at them, and acting like gangbangers on a message board is beyond me. MENA women sanctioning a foray into MENA such as this is even more pathetic. Think whatever you want about your "enemies", but it takes a specially low-esteem type to waste time in groups doing that. There are all kinds in the world.

Why am I not surprised that you picked the one about you? lol

For the record, I NEVER thought Tara would actually post what I wrote. I wrote it to be funny. I meant every word, don't get me wrong. I really do feel that way. But I didn't for one second think she would post it verbatim over here.

I posted the one about me and the one about narina, but there are more, of course. Why waste time complaining about the supposed bad behavor of others while engaging in worse behavior? That kinda negates the point.

Oh, and I'm also the one who got Mike/Ewok to put the kabash on the plotting, too.

Of course you are.

You read more stuff over there than the actual members.

You should join up.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

ok, im replying to 184698 posts at once.. im getting overstimmed, i need to go take a break in another forum LOL

noob!

how long till i get my veteran pin dad? lol

Edited November 20, 2008 by Y_habibitk

[star_dragon 0]

ok, im replying to 184698 posts at once.. im getting overstimmed, i need to go take a break in another forum LOL

noob!

Alright so what's a noob?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I also understand that you were p*ssed if someone made a comment about your wife. However, carrying it on and on is just unecessary. Bringing your cronies onboard is also uncool IMHO.

It's like watching a mad highschooler get all of his friends, then get a mob mentality going and standing back laughing.

Hopefully everyone can chill out and stop the bashing. Im a little ashamed that some of the women on this board so freely drew out their claws and got to "mobbn" also.

Lisa

For the record, I didn't bring anyone over, nor did I ask them to take up the torch. There was already a topic at Expats about that thread, so I posted about the latest in there as a means to rant and curse and complain. If people felt the desire to come over to VJ and post their feelings about it, that's entirely up to them. I didn't recruit them.

Come on, you know you put up a billboard.

I knew this was a bait thread from the beginning. That's why I wouldn't comment on the topic. You guys over at Expats act your posts are transparent and no one can tell how you plot to come over to VJ and stir sh!t up with people you don't like. Frankly, Expats or no expats, platy, amby, len, tara, just your being here together in one thread is a red flag coz you have no other reason to be here other than to bait. Why anyone would spend so much time gossiping about people you never met but just don't agree with, putting out negative speculations, plotting to "get back" at them, and acting like gangbangers on a message board is beyond me. MENA women sanctioning a foray into MENA such as this is even more pathetic. Think whatever you want about your "enemies", but it takes a specially low-esteem type to waste time in groups doing that. There are all kinds in the world.

Why am I not surprised that you picked the one about you? lol

For the record, I NEVER thought Tara would actually post what I wrote. I wrote it to be funny. I meant every word, don't get me wrong. I really do feel that way. But I didn't for one second think she would post it verbatim over here.

I posted the one about me and the one about narina, but there are more, of course. Why waste time complaining about the supposed bad behavor of others while engaging in worse behavior? That kinda negates the point.

Oh, and I'm also the one who got Mike/Ewok to put the kabash on the plotting, too.

Of course you are.

You read more stuff over there than the actual members.

You should join up.

No thanks. High school in in my rear view mirror.

ok, im replying to 184698 posts at once.. im getting overstimmed, i need to go take a break in another forum LOL

noob!

Alright so what's a noob?

A newbie

[star_dragon 0]

A newbie

Ah...so I guess since I had to ask and am fairly new that would make me one too

[Ban Hammer 13,501]

ok, im replying to 184698 posts at once.. im getting overstimmed, i need to go take a break in another forum LOL

noob!

how long till i get my veteran pin dad? lol

when you get a heart

ok, im replying to 184698 posts at once.. im getting overstimmed, i need to go take a break in another forum LOL

noob!

Alright so what's a noob?

someone who has to ask what a noob is