Mahr - What Determines Worth?

[notime4haterz 0]

Well that sounds a little better. I guess sometimes it's hard not to generalize on this message board. Sometimes (We're ALL totally guilty) we forget that we don't know each and every persons own personal situation.

I've been through the green card thing. I've asked, I've speculated and through all of my "research" I've come to 2 conclusions: 1. He's not in it for the green card. 2. Whatever happens, happens. It is all a part of God's master plan.

I've heard the stories on here and I believe a lot of us got lucky and we have a man that truly loves us. But we have seen the heart break and we know this is a reality. We can only pray for the best and learn from our own lives and the lives of others.

That's why I mentioned my situation and the other possibilities...because both can happen.

As long as you've concluded 1. and 2. then you've done all you can do! Leave the rest up to God and destiny!

[Y's_habibitk 2]

sad.............but i guess when guys have to drp that much money along w their families for a greencard,they think twice about leaving...good jon narina...get a couple thousand more out of them in my name...at least you got some dough

true love exists people............never give up......i lost a billion dollars 2 months ago and no gold in the world will ever bring that treasure back

I'm sorry for what you went through. My husband doesn't need a greencard. He's from a VWP country. His brothers are also US citizens and have been here for over 20 years (that's how our families know one another). I'm not worried about being used for a greencard, because he could have come to America years ago. I didn't ask for a large mahr, I was given one. His family is kinda wealthy. Even more than my family. His concern would not be losing money if he divorced me. His concern would be the rift it could cause between our families as we have other family members who are married to each other.

It's a fact that you have a 50/50 chance of your marriage working. The divorce rate is 50% or maybe even more now. Well it's the same thing with an American marrying a foreigner. If you don't really know the person and you just meet on vacation or over the internet, there's always gonna be the possibility that you're being used. It's something that everyone who decides to marry a foreigner, has to think about. A close friend of mine married an Indian guy. She should have suspected something was up because their marriage was a nightmare. Sure enough, as soon as they denied his I-130 he was bye bye!

I know MENA men use American women. I was in Egypt just last month and our tour guide was talking to me in Arabic, telling me how his best friend married a British woman who is older than him, just for papers. Once his friend got to the UK he offered the tour guide a chance to hook him up with another old lady and the tour guide turned down the offer. So not all of them are users, but some of them are. In March 2007 I was in Morocco and heard the same stories. I'm sure they tell me this because I talk to them in Arabic and they feel that I won't take offense. They would never admit it to just anybody. Yeah, it happens, and alot!

I know that in 5 years, there's gonna be alot of women on here telling the same sad story you've told. For that, I'm truly sorry. You don't deserve that. I hope you find someone new that will make you so happy you'll forget the sadness you're in now.

Um... I understand that is a reality but seriously... be nice. A lot of us are/will/did struggle with our marriages and you're not exactly giving us something to look forward to. It's probably "easier" for you because of your culture. I'm just saying (regardless of what you've said in the past and regardless of what others are saying about you) you need to be a little nicer. We are trying to stay positive. We need support.

Like I said, I know the green card thing is a reality but it isn't necessarily OUR reality. We're all happy (genuinely) that you have a great marriage, a great husband, a big mahr etc, but you're being a bit .... stuck up about it. I don't think the way it is coming off is the way you intend. I just want you to know how these messages are being perceived. It SOUNDS like you're saying: My marriage is perfect. I have gold, and I go on trips and my marriage will never end. But you're all American and those marriages usually don't last and he's only there to get a green card.

Honestly, congratulations on your happy marriage. I hope it continues. But just understand how some of your comments are coming off. Please.

So, some memebers are allowed to elude to the fact that we're all being used for a GC, but others arent supposed to say that SOME will end up that way?

Honestly? I dont think ANYONE should even bring it up unless someone asks SPECIFICALLY for advise on the subject OR they say it first... others here, will jump to conclusions and write 8 paragraph posts about how "you should leave him" "he's using you" "just wait"...ect ect and everyone is silent!

People dont want to read that stuff!

Lisa

I think everyone should cool down. Period. I'm not putting the blame on any ONE person. Sorry if I come off that way.

Honestly, I don't like stepping on toes. I hope I'm not.

I really dont think you mean any harm. I just have issue when someone says 1/4 of what another poster has said and they get jumped on... its ridiculous and unfair.

I remember when i first joined VJ, I used to read the MENA forum and be: Then it cooled down for a while. Now, I guess its the cycle.... oh ya, and we have people coming into the forum, just for drama

[Leyla 0]

Drama DOES make it fun but Drama and Mean are different... ya know?

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Drama DOES make it fun but Drama and Mean are different... ya know?

YEP, totally different things. juicy drama is fine with me... cattiness and being vindictive=not cool

editted- "juicy" meaning fun for ALL involved lol

Edited November 20, 2008 by Y_habibitk

[PlatyPius 5]

sad.............but i guess when guys have to drp that much money along w their families for a greencard,they think twice about leaving...good jon narina...get a couple thousand more out of them in my name...at least you got some dough

true love exists people............never give up......i lost a billion dollars 2 months ago and no gold in the world will ever bring that treasure back

I'm sorry for what you went through. My husband doesn't need a greencard. He's from a VWP country. His brothers are also US citizens and have been here for over 20 years (that's how our families know one another). I'm not worried about being used for a greencard, because he could have come to America years ago. I didn't ask for a large mahr, I was given one. His family is kinda wealthy. Even more than my family. His concern would not be losing money if he divorced me. His concern would be the rift it could cause between our families as we have other family members who are married to each other.

It's a fact that you have a 50/50 chance of your marriage working. The divorce rate is 50% or maybe even more now. Well it's the same thing with an American marrying a foreigner. If you don't really know the person and you just meet on vacation or over the internet, there's always gonna be the possibility that you're being used. It's something that everyone who decides to marry a foreigner, has to think about. A close friend of mine married an Indian guy. She should have suspected something was up because their marriage was a nightmare. Sure enough, as soon as they denied his I-130 he was bye bye!

I know MENA men use American women. I was in Egypt just last month and our tour guide was talking to me in Arabic, telling me how his best friend married a British woman who is older than him, just for papers. Once his friend got to the UK he offered the tour guide a chance to hook him up with another old lady and the tour guide turned down the offer. So not all of them are users, but some of them are. In March 2007 I was in Morocco and heard the same stories. I'm sure they tell me this because I talk to them in Arabic and they feel that I won't take offense. They would never admit it to just anybody. Yeah, it happens, and alot!

I know that in 5 years, there's gonna be alot of women on here telling the same sad story you've told. For that, I'm truly sorry. You don't deserve that. I hope you find someone new that will make you so happy you'll forget the sadness you're in now.

Um... I understand that is a reality but seriously... be nice. A lot of us are/will/did struggle with our marriages and you're not exactly giving us something to look forward to. It's probably "easier" for you because of your culture. I'm just saying (regardless of what you've said in the past and regardless of what others are saying about you) you need to be a little nicer. We are trying to stay positive. We need support.

Like I said, I know the green card thing is a reality but it isn't necessarily OUR reality. We're all happy (genuinely) that you have a great marriage, a great husband, a big mahr etc, but you're being a bit .... stuck up about it. I don't think the way it is coming off is the way you intend. I just want you to know how these messages are being perceived. It SOUNDS like you're saying: My marriage is perfect. I have gold, and I go on trips and my marriage will never end. But you're all American and those marriages usually don't last and he's only there to get a green card.

Honestly, congratulations on your happy marriage. I hope it continues. But just understand how some of your comments are coming off. Please.

So, some memebers are allowed to elude to the fact that we're all being used for a GC, but others arent supposed to say that SOME will end up that way?

Honestly? I dont think ANYONE should even bring it up unless someone asks SPECIFICALLY for advise on the subject OR they say it first... others here, will jump to conclusions and write 8 paragraph posts about how "you should leave him" "he's using you" "just wait"...ect ect and everyone is silent!

People dont want to read that stuff!

Lisa

I think everyone should cool down. Period. I'm not putting the blame on any ONE person. Sorry if I come off that way.

Honestly, I don't like stepping on toes. I hope I'm not.

I really dont think you mean any harm. I just have issue when someone says 1/4 of what another poster has said and they get jumped on... its ridiculous and unfair.

I remember when i first joined VJ, I used to read the MENA forum and be: Then it cooled down for a while. Now, I guess its the cycle.... oh ya, and we have people coming into the forum, just for drama

Hope you ain't talking about me. I actually DO have friends in here, and I used to drop in much more frequently than I do now. I don't visit the MENA forum just for drama. I read posts in here to learn stuff, too. The drama is an added bonus.

[Leyla 0]

Drama DOES make it fun but Drama and Mean are different... ya know?

YEP, totally different things. juicy drama is fine with me... cattiness and being vindictive=not cool

Yep. Not Cool.

Well I think I am going to bed. It's been a long day. Catch ya'll on the Thursday Thread.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

sad.............but i guess when guys have to drp that much money along w their families for a greencard,they think twice about leaving...good jon narina...get a couple thousand more out of them in my name...at least you got some dough

true love exists people............never give up......i lost a billion dollars 2 months ago and no gold in the world will ever bring that treasure back

I'm sorry for what you went through. My husband doesn't need a greencard. He's from a VWP country. His brothers are also US citizens and have been here for over 20 years (that's how our families know one another). I'm not worried about being used for a greencard, because he could have come to America years ago. I didn't ask for a large mahr, I was given one. His family is kinda wealthy. Even more than my family. His concern would not be losing money if he divorced me. His concern would be the rift it could cause between our families as we have other family members who are married to each other.

It's a fact that you have a 50/50 chance of your marriage working. The divorce rate is 50% or maybe even more now. Well it's the same thing with an American marrying a foreigner. If you don't really know the person and you just meet on vacation or over the internet, there's always gonna be the possibility that you're being used. It's something that everyone who decides to marry a foreigner, has to think about. A close friend of mine married an Indian guy. She should have suspected something was up because their marriage was a nightmare. Sure enough, as soon as they denied his I-130 he was bye bye!

I know MENA men use American women. I was in Egypt just last month and our tour guide was talking to me in Arabic, telling me how his best friend married a British woman who is older than him, just for papers. Once his friend got to the UK he offered the tour guide a chance to hook him up with another old lady and the tour guide turned down the offer. So not all of them are users, but some of them are. In March 2007 I was in Morocco and heard the same stories. I'm sure they tell me this because I talk to them in Arabic and they feel that I won't take offense. They would never admit it to just anybody. Yeah, it happens, and alot!

I know that in 5 years, there's gonna be alot of women on here telling the same sad story you've told. For that, I'm truly sorry. You don't deserve that. I hope you find someone new that will make you so happy you'll forget the sadness you're in now.

Um... I understand that is a reality but seriously... be nice. A lot of us are/will/did struggle with our marriages and you're not exactly giving us something to look forward to. It's probably "easier" for you because of your culture. I'm just saying (regardless of what you've said in the past and regardless of what others are saying about you) you need to be a little nicer. We are trying to stay positive. We need support.

Like I said, I know the green card thing is a reality but it isn't necessarily OUR reality. We're all happy (genuinely) that you have a great marriage, a great husband, a big mahr etc, but you're being a bit .... stuck up about it. I don't think the way it is coming off is the way you intend. I just want you to know how these messages are being perceived. It SOUNDS like you're saying: My marriage is perfect. I have gold, and I go on trips and my marriage will never end. But you're all American and those marriages usually don't last and he's only there to get a green card.

Honestly, congratulations on your happy marriage. I hope it continues. But just understand how some of your comments are coming off. Please.

So, some memebers are allowed to elude to the fact that we're all being used for a GC, but others arent supposed to say that SOME will end up that way?

Honestly? I dont think ANYONE should even bring it up unless someone asks SPECIFICALLY for advise on the subject OR they say it first... others here, will jump to conclusions and write 8 paragraph posts about how "you should leave him" "he's using you" "just wait"...ect ect and everyone is silent!

People dont want to read that stuff!

Lisa

I think everyone should cool down. Period. I'm not putting the blame on any ONE person. Sorry if I come off that way.

Honestly, I don't like stepping on toes. I hope I'm not.

I really dont think you mean any harm. I just have issue when someone says 1/4 of what another poster has said and they get jumped on... its ridiculous and unfair.

I remember when i first joined VJ, I used to read the MENA forum and be: Then it cooled down for a while. Now, I guess its the cycle.... oh ya, and we have people coming into the forum, just for drama

Hope you ain't talking about me. I actually DO have friends in here, and I used to drop in much more frequently than I do now. I don't visit the MENA forum just for drama. I read posts in here to learn stuff, too. The drama is an added bonus.

Well, I did mean you. I realize you have friends here...thats obvious.

Oooook, so they dont come JUST for drama.... they just like to stir it up when the opportunity arises

which still isnt cool.

[notime4haterz 0]

Hope you ain't talking about me. I actually DO have friends in here, and I used to drop in much more frequently than I do now. I don't visit the MENA forum just for drama. I read posts in here to learn stuff, too. The drama is an added bonus.

Gee, why would she mean you????

By the way, nice signature! I guess blondes do have more fun! As well as more mahr!!!

[Ban Hammer 13,345]

Hope you ain't talking about me. I actually DO have friends in here, and I used to drop in much more frequently than I do now. I don't visit the MENA forum just for drama. I read posts in here to learn stuff, too. The drama is an added bonus.

Gee, why would she mean you????

By the way, nice signature! I guess blondes do have more fun! As well as more mahr!!!

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

sad.............but i guess when guys have to drp that much money along w their families for a greencard,they think twice about leaving...good jon narina...get a couple thousand more out of them in my name...at least you got some dough

true love exists people............never give up......i lost a billion dollars 2 months ago and no gold in the world will ever bring that treasure back

I'm sorry for what you went through. My husband doesn't need a greencard. He's from a VWP country. His brothers are also US citizens and have been here for over 20 years (that's how our families know one another). I'm not worried about being used for a greencard, because he could have come to America years ago. I didn't ask for a large mahr, I was given one. His family is kinda wealthy. Even more than my family. His concern would not be losing money if he divorced me. His concern would be the rift it could cause between our families as we have other family members who are married to each other.

It's a fact that you have a 50/50 chance of your marriage working. The divorce rate is 50% or maybe even more now. Well it's the same thing with an American marrying a foreigner. If you don't really know the person and you just meet on vacation or over the internet, there's always gonna be the possibility that you're being used. It's something that everyone who decides to marry a foreigner, has to think about. A close friend of mine married an Indian guy. She should have suspected something was up because their marriage was a nightmare. Sure enough, as soon as they denied his I-130 he was bye bye!

I know MENA men use American women. I was in Egypt just last month and our tour guide was talking to me in Arabic, telling me how his best friend married a British woman who is older than him, just for papers. Once his friend got to the UK he offered the tour guide a chance to hook him up with another old lady and the tour guide turned down the offer. So not all of them are users, but some of them are. In March 2007 I was in Morocco and heard the same stories. I'm sure they tell me this because I talk to them in Arabic and they feel that I won't take offense. They would never admit it to just anybody. Yeah, it happens, and alot!

I know that in 5 years, there's gonna be alot of women on here telling the same sad story you've told. For that, I'm truly sorry. You don't deserve that. I hope you find someone new that will make you so happy you'll forget the sadness you're in now.

Um... I understand that is a reality but seriously... be nice. A lot of us are/will/did struggle with our marriages and you're not exactly giving us something to look forward to. It's probably "easier" for you because of your culture. I'm just saying (regardless of what you've said in the past and regardless of what others are saying about you) you need to be a little nicer. We are trying to stay positive. We need support.

Like I said, I know the green card thing is a reality but it isn't necessarily OUR reality. We're all happy (genuinely) that you have a great marriage, a great husband, a big mahr etc, but you're being a bit .... stuck up about it. I don't think the way it is coming off is the way you intend. I just want you to know how these messages are being perceived. It SOUNDS like you're saying: My marriage is perfect. I have gold, and I go on trips and my marriage will never end. But you're all American and those marriages usually don't last and he's only there to get a green card.

Honestly, congratulations on your happy marriage. I hope it continues. But just understand how some of your comments are coming off. Please.

So, some memebers are allowed to elude to the fact that we're all being used for a GC, but others arent supposed to say that SOME will end up that way?

Honestly? I dont think ANYONE should even bring it up unless someone asks SPECIFICALLY for advise on the subject OR they say it first... others here, will jump to conclusions and write 8 paragraph posts about how "you should leave him" "he's using you" "just wait"...ect ect and everyone is silent!

People dont want to read that stuff!

Lisa

I think everyone should cool down. Period. I'm not putting the blame on any ONE person. Sorry if I come off that way.

Honestly, I don't like stepping on toes. I hope I'm not.

I really dont think you mean any harm. I just have issue when someone says 1/4 of what another poster has said and they get jumped on... its ridiculous and unfair.

I remember when i first joined VJ, I used to read the MENA forum and be: Then it cooled down for a while. Now, I guess its the cycle.... oh ya, and we have people coming into the forum, just for drama

i honestly think most of the people on the forum have not experienced a real tragedy,,, marriage testing experience. Its easy to be happy when things are good but when times are bad, you get peoples real opinions

I personally feel very comfortable with mena people and even though my spouse did me very dirty on levels that are beyond comprehension, I came into this relationship knowing all I knew with stern warnings from all my mena friends NOT to marry someone younger than me or who needed papers. I ignored them . They point blank asked me why I was entering into the relationship with the vast amount of experiences I had both good and bad. I told them I was in love. Flag after flag went up and I refused to listen. I ended up with a treasure that I lost and then he abandoned me with debt and grief at at this point, I believe cannot come to terms with both how he has treated me and he cant seem to understand why my family venemously hates him. My family was quiet and calm in other situations but it was the combination of his familys duplicity and enabling him to do the things he did without demanding accountability and steadfastness that sent my mom off the deep end. many of these guys succeed in duping over a 5 year period. I had a situation that pushed things to a head very fast.. gees it would have caused an american to flip

All I can say is this....not all mixed mena marriages will end. But for people to ignore the stuff Narina says about these guys seeking out women to dupe and actively doing it and then laughing about it which she definitely will concur with me on this one is freaking irresponsible. Yes, there are predatory men in foreign countries and babies it aint just mena.. take a look at changes forum( the one that says changes or something) and its a pattern of men in non western countries of taking women for a ride till they get their papers. I had personal tragedy mixed into mine and I think my husband actually has guilt and issues about the ####### he has done. Its affected my children.. I cannot emphasize this enough. Do not . Do not be unprepared for this. If you have any inkling that something may be up, listen to your gut. Buy spector pro, do some snooping with screen shot software and look at incoming and out going email shots. If someone loves you , they dont cam and talk to other people.

The sad thing is even super smart people get duped. I will tell you that on some level my husband loves me. Is it enough to stay with me? Is it enough to ride through what we have been through. Ill know in a little while. I just want to tell y ou that that yes, this is a risk. Not talked about to the level that you will have people who will talk about it privately as a joke and then publicly act like it never happens giving you some dumb ### success examplees.. I actually have a client from Morocco presently who when she found out I may be getting a divorce wanted to introduce me to her family . I was like ARE YOU ON CRACK? She actually described him as a guy in his 20s who said he would marry anything and then said EVEN BLACK ( racist lovely) and then said to me I am sure he would like you.. ( this girl mind you knew me knocked up and is presently a client of mine and knows what happened. You can deduce the rest of it yourself) I was mortified..I have to look at her with a straight face, knowing things my husband did to me,,, knowing the tragedy I ve endured and to have her tell me she wanted to introduce me to a shiftless loser relative of hers. Oh yeah, I am catch

Y habibtyk. I know you mean well . But girly, y ou are in your 20s. It really isnt a stretch for him to love you. but for gods sakes let s be honest with each other. I dont want to be lied to anymore by anyone about anything.. not even other arabs trying to defend his stupid ###. You guys know the truth..Ill listen to american women anyday. I dont for a minute consider myself really loved or that I was a real wife to ANYONE in his family. I found that out when I lost the dream I waited 3 quarters of a year for when they all called and yelled at me for crying too much... and then enabled him not to face up to any responsibility

[PlatyPius 5]

Well, I did mean you. I realize you have friends here...thats obvious.

Oooook, so they dont come JUST for drama.... they just like to stir it up when the opportunity arises

which still isnt cool.

I know we haven't really run into each other elsewhere on the board, so you probably don't know me very well. Yes, I can be a complete and total ####. But there is always a reason for me to be such. If you read the original exchange in one of the closed threads, you'll see that I didn't intend to start anything. I posted 4 humorous lines about MENA relationships. I didn't make them up. They were collected by me from comments made by MENA posters. We both know that examples of each and every one of those 4 things are in the MENA forum. My posting them was intended to by amusing to those who don't fit any of those four things.

"Someone" got bent out of shape over them. I even posted earlier on that there was no reason to get defensive if they didn't apply to you... that I had posted them in jest. It was still mostly amusing until comments were made about about me "buying" my wife from Russia or Asia. Mags wasn't bovvered though, so I didn't worry about it. But when the "rotten coochie" comment was made....well, Platy got not so nice and full d!ckhead mode was enabled.

I like to joke around, and I can take it as well as dish it out. I don't deal well with people bringing Mags into it, though.

So.....yeah. I didn't intend to piss all over 'your' forum - since I'm a scary outsider. I really DID want to learn more about the dowry/mahr thing from people other than the ones I talk to over at Expats. Not acting like a martyr or anything, because I HAVE been chopf##k. But ya need to look at where it all began before ya blame the Platy.

[Hanna&Mohamed 0]

sad.............but i guess when guys have to drp that much money along w their families for a greencard,they think twice about leaving...good jon narina...get a couple thousand more out of them in my name...at least you got some dough

true love exists people............never give up......i lost a billion dollars 2 months ago and no gold in the world will ever bring that treasure back

I'm sorry for what you went through. My husband doesn't need a greencard. He's from a VWP country. His brothers are also US citizens and have been here for over 20 years (that's how our families know one another). I'm not worried about being used for a greencard, because he could have come to America years ago. I didn't ask for a large mahr, I was given one. His family is kinda wealthy. Even more than my family. His concern would not be losing money if he divorced me. His concern would be the rift it could cause between our families as we have other family members who are married to each other.

It's a fact that you have a 50/50 chance of your marriage working. The divorce rate is 50% or maybe even more now. Well it's the same thing with an American marrying a foreigner. If you don't really know the person and you just meet on vacation or over the internet, there's always gonna be the possibility that you're being used. It's something that everyone who decides to marry a foreigner, has to think about. A close friend of mine married an Indian guy. She should have suspected something was up because their marriage was a nightmare. Sure enough, as soon as they denied his I-130 he was bye bye!

I know MENA men use American women. I was in Egypt just last month and our tour guide was talking to me in Arabic, telling me how his best friend married a British woman who is older than him, just for papers. Once his friend got to the UK he offered the tour guide a chance to hook him up with another old lady and the tour guide turned down the offer. So not all of them are users, but some of them are. In March 2007 I was in Morocco and heard the same stories. I'm sure they tell me this because I talk to them in Arabic and they feel that I won't take offense. They would never admit it to just anybody. Yeah, it happens, and alot!

I know that in 5 years, there's gonna be alot of women on here telling the same sad story you've told. For that, I'm truly sorry. You don't deserve that. I hope you find someone new that will make you so happy you'll forget the sadness you're in now.

Um... I understand that is a reality but seriously... be nice. A lot of us are/will/did struggle with our marriages and you're not exactly giving us something to look forward to. It's probably "easier" for you because of your culture. I'm just saying (regardless of what you've said in the past and regardless of what others are saying about you) you need to be a little nicer. We are trying to stay positive. We need support.

Like I said, I know the green card thing is a reality but it isn't necessarily OUR reality. We're all happy (genuinely) that you have a great marriage, a great husband, a big mahr etc, but you're being a bit .... stuck up about it. I don't think the way it is coming off is the way you intend. I just want you to know how these messages are being perceived. It SOUNDS like you're saying: My marriage is perfect. I have gold, and I go on trips and my marriage will never end. But you're all American and those marriages usually don't last and he's only there to get a green card.

Honestly, congratulations on your happy marriage. I hope it continues. But just understand how some of your comments are coming off. Please.

[notime4haterz 0]

"Someone" got bent out of shape over them. I even posted earlier on that there was no reason to get defensive if they didn't apply to you... that I had posted them in jest. It was still mostly amusing until comments were made about about me "buying" my wife from Russia or Asia. Mags wasn't bovvered though, so I didn't worry about it. But when the "rotten coochie" comment was made....well, Platy got not so nice and full d!ckhead mode was enabled.

I like to joke around, and I can take it as well as dish it out. I don't deal well with people bringing Mags into it, though.

I believe it was golden coochie, and you're the one who came up with that term...

and while you don't like people bringing your wife into it (which I really have nothing against her, I was just reciprocating your insults with my own)...you don't like people bringing your wife into it, but you can bring a whole region of husbands into your insults and everyone has to just accept it as "a joke, generalization, only pertains to you if you're like that"...

Well the same can be said to you. When a post was shot back at you, why did you take it so personal? It too was a generalization that never targeted you specifically, until you answered it.

And to top it off, you bring a posse to come in here and insult me. Having trashy people send me trashy messages and making up new screennames so they can keep sending me messages. You didn't do this, but your friends did. I guess unemployed people with nothing to do all day can sit there and make up screen names just to pass the time. Again, you didn't do that, but your friends did.

That is what I think is meant by "bad drama"...

[MissStacey 1]

Hope you ain't talking about me. I actually DO have friends in here, and I used to drop in much more frequently than I do now. I don't visit the MENA forum just for drama. I read posts in here to learn stuff, too. The drama is an added bonus.

Gee, why would she mean you????

By the way, nice signature! I guess blondes do have more fun! As well as more mahr!!!

I couldn't help but notice the picture of all the junk jewelery. You could always sell it and get a few bucks.

[Staashi 371]

I am trying to explain that I'm not in a situation where the greencard is an issue.

Actually, you are. You put yourself in the greencard issue as soon as you and your husband decided that he wanted to come to the US to live with you. I don't care if he's part of the VWP, he still has to have a greencard to reside in the US. He can travel to the US, hang out with you, but he can't work or earn any type of living.

So now, you're just like everyone else. Welcome to our world of waiting around for NOAs, interviews with DOS and USCIS, welcome to finding out how your life will hang in the balance when it is at the mercy of some immigration bureaucrat who just so happens to be loaded up with a thousand other cases. I'm fortunate that my husband is all done with this and became a USC in July, but I still support all the men and women here who continue to walk the line. And your husband might have brothers who are USCs, but he wouldn't be eligible for an I-130 for about a good 11 years because of the orders of sponsorship. So, welcome to the fight. Your hubby may or may not have needed a greencard for him to stay in the Netherlands and make a little US bootycall, but he sure as hell will need one to maneuver through the good ole US of A. Good luck with that. You're gonna need it.