Mahr - What Determines Worth?

[PlatyPius 5]

hey wait, that looks like it's from the movie "kiss the girls"

I thought so tooo.... so platy is not only one cheap b@st@rd, he is also a psycho????????????

And Dolma --- your survival and growth into who you are is more than proof that you are more worth it than any effing bimbo who tries to tell you otherwise. Besides you are my friend, and we all know what happens to those who mess with my friends....

You force them to eat your cooking?

[Jenn! 918]

I would like to hear everyones perspective imagining they are IN a MENA country, as a MENA woman

Impossible to answer, I think. It's fairly likely that if you are brought up in that culture, you wouldn't see a problem with it. Not sure about everyone else, but I'm not trying to claim moral superiority, just saying that it doesn't jive with who I am. Why would you go along with something you find to be reprehensible just because it's ok in a different culture?

You're right, it is hard to imagine how you would think,feel and believe being brought up in another culture.

Do you find it reprehensible because you think of it as a "bride price"? I just dont think that is the purpose of it for the most part. Im sure it happens, but i think it is more to prove to the family that the husband can support the wife and wil not divorce her so easily.

But what I'm trying to say is that this does not apply to me (and most American women I would think), so the purpose of it would be a bride price because the actual, traditional reasons behind it are not relevant to my situation.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I would like to hear everyones perspective imagining they are IN a MENA country, as a MENA woman

Impossible to answer, I think. It's fairly likely that if you are brought up in that culture, you wouldn't see a problem with it. Not sure about everyone else, but I'm not trying to claim moral superiority, just saying that it doesn't jive with who I am. Why would you go along with something you find to be reprehensible just because it's ok in a different culture?

You're right, it is hard to imagine how you would think,feel and believe being brought up in another culture.

Do you find it reprehensible because you think of it as a "bride price"? I just dont think that is the purpose of it for the most part. Im sure it happens, but i think it is more to prove to the family that the husband can support the wife and wil not divorce her so easily.

But what I'm trying to say is that this does not apply to me (and most American women I would think), so the purpose of it would be a bride price because the actual, traditional reasons behind it are not relevant to my situation.

It doesnt apply to any of us here. Thats why i said imagine. lol

[Jenn! 918]

I would like to hear everyones perspective imagining they are IN a MENA country, as a MENA woman

Impossible to answer, I think. It's fairly likely that if you are brought up in that culture, you wouldn't see a problem with it. Not sure about everyone else, but I'm not trying to claim moral superiority, just saying that it doesn't jive with who I am. Why would you go along with something you find to be reprehensible just because it's ok in a different culture?

You're right, it is hard to imagine how you would think,feel and believe being brought up in another culture.

Do you find it reprehensible because you think of it as a "bride price"? I just dont think that is the purpose of it for the most part. Im sure it happens, but i think it is more to prove to the family that the husband can support the wife and wil not divorce her so easily.

But what I'm trying to say is that this does not apply to me (and most American women I would think), so the purpose of it would be a bride price because the actual, traditional reasons behind it are not relevant to my situation.

It doesnt apply to any of us here. Thats why i said imagine. lol

I think I've already answered your question then.

There are some legitimate reasons a MENA woman would accept a mahr.

There are no reasons that I find acceptable that an American woman would accept a mahr.

I just don't think that your implication that those of us who do not like the idea of a mahr are less, say, "culturally sensitive". We get it - it's "normal", "traditional", etc. over there and there are some good reasons for it.

ETA: I should clarify that I'm referring to a high mahr, not a nominal one. I do realize that it's mandatory.

Edited November 19, 2008 by Jenn!

[Donna A 4]

i didnt want any mahr but the court who married us told my husband he had to put something down in the contract. they were all speaking arabic so i didnt have any clue of what was going on until my husband said when the judge asks u what ur price is u have to say..... and when he asks what is the amount owed if divorsed u say..... so this is how my mahr came to me.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I would like to hear everyones perspective imagining they are IN a MENA country, as a MENA woman

Impossible to answer, I think. It's fairly likely that if you are brought up in that culture, you wouldn't see a problem with it. Not sure about everyone else, but I'm not trying to claim moral superiority, just saying that it doesn't jive with who I am. Why would you go along with something you find to be reprehensible just because it's ok in a different culture?

You're right, it is hard to imagine how you would think,feel and believe being brought up in another culture.

Do you find it reprehensible because you think of it as a "bride price"? I just dont think that is the purpose of it for the most part. Im sure it happens, but i think it is more to prove to the family that the husband can support the wife and wil not divorce her so easily.

But what I'm trying to say is that this does not apply to me (and most American women I would think), so the purpose of it would be a bride price because the actual, traditional reasons behind it are not relevant to my situation.

It doesnt apply to any of us here. Thats why i said imagine. lol

I think I've already answered your question then.

There are some legitimate reasons a MENA woman would accept a mahr.

There are no reasons that I find acceptable that an American woman would accept a mahr.

I just don't think that your implication that those of us who do not like the idea of a mahr are less, say, "culturally sensitive". We get it - it's "normal", "traditional", etc. over there and there are some good reasons for it.

ETA: I should clarify that I'm referring to a high mahr, not a nominal one. I do realize that it's mandatory.

Is that what i implied?

[Staashi 371]

hey wait, that looks like it's from the movie "kiss the girls"

I thought so tooo.... so platy is not only one cheap b@st@rd, he is also a psycho???????????? :unsure:

And Dolma --- your survival and growth into who you are is more than proof that you are more worth it than any effing bimbo who tries to tell you otherwise. Besides you are my friend, and we all know what happens to those who mess with my friends....

Que se joden!

[Jenn! 918]

I would like to hear everyones perspective imagining they are IN a MENA country, as a MENA woman

Impossible to answer, I think. It's fairly likely that if you are brought up in that culture, you wouldn't see a problem with it. Not sure about everyone else, but I'm not trying to claim moral superiority, just saying that it doesn't jive with who I am. Why would you go along with something you find to be reprehensible just because it's ok in a different culture?

You're right, it is hard to imagine how you would think,feel and believe being brought up in another culture.

Do you find it reprehensible because you think of it as a "bride price"? I just dont think that is the purpose of it for the most part. Im sure it happens, but i think it is more to prove to the family that the husband can support the wife and wil not divorce her so easily.

But what I'm trying to say is that this does not apply to me (and most American women I would think), so the purpose of it would be a bride price because the actual, traditional reasons behind it are not relevant to my situation.

It doesnt apply to any of us here. Thats why i said imagine. lol

I think I've already answered your question then.

There are some legitimate reasons a MENA woman would accept a mahr.

There are no reasons that I find acceptable that an American woman would accept a mahr.

I just don't think that your implication that those of us who do not like the idea of a mahr are less, say, "culturally sensitive". We get it - it's "normal", "traditional", etc. over there and there are some good reasons for it.

ETA: I should clarify that I'm referring to a high mahr, not a nominal one. I do realize that it's mandatory.

Is that what i implied?

I thought so, but I guess not. That's what I had gathered when you keep asking us to imagine when I think we've made it clear that the purpose of a mahr as you've put forth *is* relevant to MENA women, although *not* to American women.

[morocco4ever 63]

I would like to hear everyones perspective imagining they are IN a MENA country, as a MENA woman

Impossible to answer, I think. It's fairly likely that if you are brought up in that culture, you wouldn't see a problem with it. Not sure about everyone else, but I'm not trying to claim moral superiority, just saying that it doesn't jive with who I am. Why would you go along with something you find to be reprehensible just because it's ok in a different culture?

You're right, it is hard to imagine how you would think,feel and believe being brought up in another culture.

Do you find it reprehensible because you think of it as a "bride price"? I just dont think that is the purpose of it for the most part. Im sure it happens, but i think it is more to prove to the family that the husband can support the wife and wil not divorce her so easily.

But what I'm trying to say is that this does not apply to me (and most American women I would think), so the purpose of it would be a bride price because the actual, traditional reasons behind it are not relevant to my situation.

It doesnt apply to any of us here. Thats why i said imagine. lol

I think I've already answered your question then.

There are some legitimate reasons a MENA woman would accept a mahr.

There are no reasons that I find acceptable that an American woman would accept a mahr.

I just don't think that your implication that those of us who do not like the idea of a mahr are less, say, "culturally sensitive". We get it - it's "normal", "traditional", etc. over there and there are some good reasons for it.

ETA: I should clarify that I'm referring to a high mahr, not a nominal one. I do realize that it's mandatory.

Is that what i implied?

I thought so, but I guess not. That's what I had gathered when you keep asking us to imagine when I think we've made it clear that the purpose of a mahr as you've put forth *is* relevant to MENA women, although *not* to American women.

Jenn is right. No matter how much we try to imagine, we can't. I will always have my American experiences in my life that has molded my personality and has molded my opinions. If I were to even *try* to imagine I would come up with the same answer. I don't want it, period, end of story. It is like a slap in my face, I don't EVER want to rely on ANYONE to take care of my needs.

See what I mean? I can't put myself in their shoes, they are the wrong size.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

No. I send you loose over them....

hey wait, that looks like it's from the movie "kiss the girls"

I thought so tooo.... so platy is not only one cheap b@st@rd, he is also a psycho????????????

And Dolma --- your survival and growth into who you are is more than proof that you are more worth it than any effing bimbo who tries to tell you otherwise. Besides you are my friend, and we all know what happens to those who mess with my friends....

You force them to eat your cooking?

[doodlebugg 10]

Jenn is right. No matter how much we try to imagine, we can't. I will always have my American experiences in my life that has molded my personality and has molded my opinions. If I were to even *try* to imagine I would come up with the same answer. I don't want it, period, end of story. It is like a slap in my face, I don't EVER want to rely on ANYONE to take care of my needs.

See what I mean? I can't put myself in their shoes, they are the wrong size.

I can't imagine having to walk up the 8 flights that my sisters in law walk up and down every day to get to their flat.

I can't imagine living without FIOS let alone cable.

I can't imagine not having the internet at my fingertips let alone not having a computer.

I can't imagine not being comfortable going into a public internet cafe because there are men there.

I can't imagine never using toilet paper.

There's so much that I'm astounded with but at the same time they can't imagine or comprehend so much that we do here either.

[Leyla 0]

I don't know about everyone else, but my skin is SO pale I'm transparent and my hair is so blonde it's glowing and my eyes are SO blue they're like the crystal blue water of the ocean and my ..... lady lumps are so voluptuous they are like huge memory foam mattresses. My Mahr is supposed to be $675.9billion. ...but since I have a mind of my own it's like $3.50 now.

I'm loving these chips and Coca light hahaha.

[Jenn! 918]

memory foam mattresses LOL!

[Leyla 0]

memory foam mattresses LOL!

Mmmm hmm. I'm blessed what can I say? haha

[sussemadel 16]

memory foam mattresses LOL!

Mmmm hmm. I'm blessed what can I say? haha

and some would say not blessed enough cuz you're not circassian