Mahr - What Determines Worth?

[PlatyPius 5]

I didn't do the Mahr thing with Mags, obviously.

The best I could do was take her into the woods, where no one could hear her scream in terror, and propose.

Here's a pic of where I proposed.... It was, however, not covered in snow at the time....

[Ban Hammer 13,345]

platy!

[Nothing1234 2]

I didn't do the Mahr thing with Mags, obviously.

The best I could do was take her into the woods, where no one could hear her scream in terror, and propose.

Here's a pic of where I proposed.... It was, however, not covered in snow at the time....

You were smart to avoid snow... You never know Mags might have reached out and pushed too!

In all seriousness, very beautiful place.

[Imua 0]

I like the response in the below link. It speaks of how mahr's really shouldn't be very high but affordable to the person paying it and how the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) did not demand a high mahr for his daughters. He is also reported to have said, "The best woman is the one whose mahr is the easiest to pay." (Reported by al-Haythami)

I have been told that boasting about how or why your mahr is a big issue in Egypt and it causes lots of unauthorized marriages that aren't registered and the women aren't protected.

Mahr Question

Let me see if I understand this correctly. That the high price of Mahr based upon the woman's beauty and status was influenced by the culture not Islam. And it is actually considered the wrong way to base it if the price of the Mahr is based on superficially qualities. Would this type of Marh then be considered Haram?

Dolma, you are a prize far and above most women I know. Never discount your worth.

Sister Len and M4E,

(((HUGS))) to both of you - sorry, this stuff just REALLY gets to me - there's nothing like being told your whole life that you're worthless regardless of how many degrees you have, how many languages you speak, how kind and compassionate you are or even what bedroom tricks you know(if you're given the chance to try 'em out.... ) just because you had the audacity to be born 3 months early, survive, and have some physical reminders of it...

My husband's 'mahr' was the flowers he picked for me and butterflies he caught(and let go) so I could see them - I would rather have that than a bank vault full of gold.

I just opened a fresh 2-liter Diet Pepsi - where's your glasses?

OMG Dolma, your Mahr exceeds any dollar amount that someone could pay. That to me is the most precious Mahr I have ever heard of. I am going to have to speak to my husband about that now. Why did you give me money when you could have given me butterflies and flowers?

I guess I just feel that if it is money I want, I can earn that myself. If you really want to show me your love give me something from your heart not your wallet.

I agree completely - well said!!

I really, really, really miss him now....

[star_dragon 0]

Platy, that looks like Starved Rock in IL.....that's pretty, though!

Though now that you mention the "somewhere where no one could hear her scream in terror", it kinda reminds me of Fargo....

[Imua 0]

I didn't do the Mahr thing with Mags, obviously.

The best I could do was take her into the woods, where no one could hear her scream in terror, and propose.

Here's a pic of where I proposed.... It was, however, not covered in snow at the time....

You were smart to avoid snow... You never know Mags might have reached out and pushed too!

In all seriousness, very beautiful place.

[HLM 1]

I agree completely - well said!!

I really, really, really miss him now....

AWWWW im sowwwwy HUGGGG

I hope u guys get reunited really really soon

[Y's_habibitk 2]

So is it safe to say then, that all of the MENA girls that replied either.. dont care about, didnt know about or dont agree with the idea of mahr?

Do you not see its worth since you are american and can earn your own money,sue for divorce..ect ect?

If you were living in the culture and lived in your SO's country, would it be important to you? Just pretend that you are from your husbands culture... for a moment.

Im just curious. I would like to hear everyones perspective imagining they are IN a MENA country, as a MENA woman

Lisa

[Ban Hammer 13,345]

hey wait, that looks like it's from the movie "kiss the girls"

[Peikko 1,575]

It's still basically a woman's perspective too. I guess there just aren't that many MENA men around to post - that's not to say I think one thing or another, but men are much more visual creatures when it comes to sex than women. Of course, when it comes to beauty it is always in the eyes of the beholder which is to be remembered.

[PlatyPius 5]

IF

I were a woman

AND

I lived in a MENA country

THEN

Yes, I would expect a mahr and I would want it to be as much as the guy could afford.

That point, however, if pretty much a non-issue on VJ, since the overwhelming majority of MENA posters are Female USC petitioners.

To expect, accept, and gloat about a sizable mahr here is in poor taste, a sign of insecurity, and just....disgusting.

[Jenn! 918]

I would like to hear everyones perspective imagining they are IN a MENA country, as a MENA woman

Impossible to answer, I think. It's fairly likely that if you are brought up in that culture, you wouldn't see a problem with it. Not sure about everyone else, but I'm not trying to claim moral superiority, just saying that it doesn't jive with who I am. Why would you go along with something you find to be reprehensible just because it's ok in a different culture?

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I would like to hear everyones perspective imagining they are IN a MENA country, as a MENA woman

Impossible to answer, I think. It's fairly likely that if you are brought up in that culture, you wouldn't see a problem with it. Not sure about everyone else, but I'm not trying to claim moral superiority, just saying that it doesn't jive with who I am. Why would you go along with something you find to be reprehensible just because it's ok in a different culture?

You're right, it is hard to imagine how you would think,feel and believe being brought up in another culture.

Do you find it reprehensible because you think of it as a "bride price"? I just dont think that is the purpose of it for the most part. Im sure it happens, but i think it is more to prove to the family that the husband can support the wife and wil not divorce her so easily.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

IF

I were a woman

AND

I lived in a MENA country

THEN

Yes, I would expect a mahr and I would want it to be as much as the guy could afford.

That point, however, if pretty much a non-issue on VJ, since the overwhelming majority of MENA posters are Female USC petitioners.

To expect, accept, and gloat about a sizable mahr here is in poor taste, a sign of insecurity, and just....disgusting.

Thats the fun of "what would you do if..."

I was trying to see if people were just thinking of this subject in terms of the recent events on VJ, or they could actually step out of that and put themselves in their husbands' cultural "shoes".

[Chica Yeyé 41]

hey wait, that looks like it's from the movie "kiss the girls"

I thought so tooo.... so platy is not only one cheap b@st@rd, he is also a psycho???????????? :unsure:

And Dolma --- your survival and growth into who you are is more than proof that you are more worth it than any effing bimbo who tries to tell you otherwise. Besides you are my friend, and we all know what happens to those who mess with my friends....