Mahr - What Determines Worth?

[Leyla 0]

Got some hummus there? Me wantzzz some.

Yes. And....TAB!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Mahr is essentially alimony paid upfront.....

sh!t I already spent mine on scratch tickets.

don't laugh charles. I already told her she will now have to walk on her knees from here to New Year's Eve. This spending her mahr on lottery tickets does not please the gods.

if mahr is alimony paid upfront, then nessa woulda asked for ammo.

I heard she orders it bulk.....

[~Jackie~ 30]

I just know in my last marriage I got poked comin AND goin

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Got some hummus there? Me wantzzz some.

Yes. And....TAB!

Dear Joyce would love you. Have you met her??????????

[Leyla 0]

Got some hummus there? Me wantzzz some.

Yes. And....TAB!

Dear Joyce would love you. Have you met her??????????

Love me? Nope haven't met her. (I don't think)

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Got some hummus there? Me wantzzz some.

Yes. And....TAB!

Dear Joyce would love you. Have you met her??????????

Love me? Nope haven't met her. (I don't think)

GIRL!!! But she is the icon of icons of all liberated women on VJ!!! You can ask for her wise words here

[Ban Hammer 13,337]

Mahr is essentially alimony paid upfront.....

sh!t I already spent mine on scratch tickets.

don't laugh charles. I already told her she will now have to walk on her knees from here to New Year's Eve. This spending her mahr on lottery tickets does not please the gods.

if mahr is alimony paid upfront, then nessa woulda asked for ammo.

I heard she orders it bulk.....

so that's where all that rifle ammo came from.

I just know in my last marriage I got poked comin AND goin

[Y's_habibitk 2]

My husband told me about mahr before we got married. He also told me what was customary in his family. Then he asked me what I would like.. when i told him i was worth 50 mil he choked (TOTALLY KIDDING OF COURSE). Its not about what you are worth, its about what said family can afford and what is the norm as someon else said.

The man preparing our docs asked about it and my husband answered. the man smiled really sweetly and said(in english) you must really be in love.. then back to arabic. He told my husband that almost every foreigner he has seen gets nothing or a dollar. LOL

He thought it was great that my husband was actually acknowledging the mahr with "a foreigner"

hee

Lisa

Aww...it's true though. Most foreign women don't get any dowry. Lisa honey, you're gorgeous though, you could have asked for anything and I'm sure he and his family would have paid it. And that's not to say he loves you only because you're beautiful...I know you're a complete sweetheart too.

aww shucks narina, thanks

Waiting for something?

[Leyla 0]

My husband told me about mahr before we got married. He also told me what was customary in his family. Then he asked me what I would like.. when i told him i was worth 50 mil he choked (TOTALLY KIDDING OF COURSE). Its not about what you are worth, its about what said family can afford and what is the norm as someon else said.

The man preparing our docs asked about it and my husband answered. the man smiled really sweetly and said(in english) you must really be in love.. then back to arabic. He told my husband that almost every foreigner he has seen gets nothing or a dollar. LOL

He thought it was great that my husband was actually acknowledging the mahr with "a foreigner"

hee

Lisa

Aww...it's true though. Most foreign women don't get any dowry. Lisa honey, you're gorgeous though, you could have asked for anything and I'm sure he and his family would have paid it. And that's not to say he loves you only because you're beautiful...I know you're a complete sweetheart too.

aww shucks narina, thanks

Waiting for something?

Yes. It's not juicy. I'm waiting for it to get CRAZY...

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Hi, Chuck!

[Staashi 371]

Yo VW - what's up? We've been waiting for your perspective all day on the concept of Mahr.

[morocco4ever 63]

Sorry, I forgot to select quote Narina, but is your origins somewhere in Turkey?

Another question. The value is placed on beauty, but what about a womans virginity? I hear this is of the highest value from the MENA group.

It is. That's why you hear of people killing girls when the man finds out she's not a virgin. It's like the ultimate insult to dupe the guy into thinking you are, but you're not. However, I also believe some girls are wrongfully accused of not being virgins. There was a court case in France, not long ago, and the judge actually judged in the groom's favor. The girl was not a virgin and had to return her entire dowry to the man, who also divorced her.

No, I am not Turkish. Circassians do not come from Turkey. Our homeland is the Caucasus Mountains of modern day Russia. However, most live in diaspora and are in the Middle East now. You can look it up on Wikepedia. They actually have a very good write up on the history of our people.

You might be thinking about the "Circassian beauties" who were kidnapped and/or purchased by Sultans during the time of the Ottoman empire. They were highly coveted for their beauty. They were caught and sold at slave markets oftentimes at prices thousands of times higher than any other women. Turkish Sultans wanted them for their harems. Many of them gave birth to the future Sultans of Turkey. Even the British and Americans wrote about it and marketed beauty products bearing the Circassian name.

Yes, I guess that is what I was thinking of.

But I was curious as to my second question? And now that I think about it, what about a divorced woman? I hear that they really have issues on those 2 things. Do you find that as well?

[Ban Hammer 13,337]

Hi, Chuck!

welcome to the fun factory! :dance: :dance:

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I'm not talking about the United States...I'm talking about a different culture. Yeah, we live here. I was born here, but I don't give up my culture. This mentality still exists...it explains why Muslim women in some countries have to fight and risk their lives just to get an education. Good example is in Afghanistan, where women were not even allowed to get an education. This is not a religious thing, but a cultural thing.

Just recently in the middle east have women started becoming educated and getting very good jobs. It started only one generation ago, if that.

But you are not a virgin.Isnt that the desired bride? Have you ever thought your passport entered into the equation? As far as I know, I thought virginity was super important to these guys if they marry their own kind. I am just wondering. I thought divorced women were like second ranked in their society ESPECIALLY with arab on arab marriages. I mean some just assume western women have pasts. How is he dealing with the fact you are muslim and he is not your first/

I am not a hater. I am not on here or have read enough of your posts to bash you. I just know from what I hear and have heard when men are considering marrying women from back home. Most find someone who has never been married or has no kids when they marry from their own culture. Please do not consider my post insulting. Its not my intent. I just know that when my husband has been raging at me, the first low blow is my age. Then my past. Then the fact I have kids.. When he is not mad, none of those things are issues. Then its the fact that one of my childrens fathers abandoned me and didnt marry me.. then he says that child is meskina and it goes on and on.

I do agree with many of the things you said about materialism and how much I hate it in some mena backgrounds. The lack of appreciation for women with any education or anything intelligent to say bugs the ####### out of me too. Cooking and your looks are tantamount

I am really glad I am NOT from there and I am also glad I grew up in a family ( as dysfuntional as my family may be at times) that appreciates an education. But an education wont get you married or appreciated with many men, many with as high or more education . ( Of course unless you marry Obama.. he picked someone smarter)

I go round and round with my husband and other arabs about how shallow I find many of the mena women I have met. I spent days locked in houses with women with very little education and very little interest in being better educated and it infuriated me. I saw a girl from a mena country who was clearly in love with a westerner agree to a loveless marriage that made her dad happy. I have seen girls who I believe if they grew up here.. would be better off.

I have alot of opinions.. many very unpopular but my marriage is not my first experience with mena.. and I watched man after man that I knew from mena that I was friends with marry complete strangers because they wanted to follow social norms. These men had greencards and citizenship so there was really no incentive to marry someone from here for love. The girls here were to have sex with and play with till they got their citizenship and had enough income to import..

By the way, I watched AS TIME GOES BY on youtube, the theme from casablanca where the old guy talks about how love is more important than anything and lauren tears up when she says goodbye to bogart.. Love is still out there inchallah for the broken hearted and the broken...Love is not only for the lucky and the strong as the song the rose says..

Narina, I like reading you because believe it or not, some of the stuff as completely tactless and materialistic as it sounds, is quite the norm for many women I have met through the years. Shallow, materialistic and soul less. Which may be why SOME mena men with papers turn their back on girls back home and get a western woman to love ( I guess they decided to marry for love...instead of buying it) Although... I guess buying love... and a virgin is a status symbol.

Keep posting. I like reading you and every one else

CHEERS Everyone

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

dang! I go to work at noon and come back and this is at 14 pages!!! ok, now let me go back to page 5 and read on!