marriage failed before AOS, help!

[pinayinamerica 0]

Hello, i am a new member here, a friend of mine introduced this website for she said, this might help me. I am originally from Philippines, and i am here in USA now. I came here with a K-1 Fiancee' visa. And now I am married. Unfortunately, our marriage didnt work out well. Lots of factors that really distruct me and makes me so unhappy. I really hate thinking of divorce but i cant live life like this. I dont know what to do. We already filed our AOS and we are waiting on the result, but i have decided to stop it.

My concern is, what shall i do to clear my marraige here? How can i make the divorce? how long does it usually takes? i want to go home in philippines, but before that i have to clear my marriage first, coz we never know, i will again come back here. No one can tell. I really need your advise and help.

I am praying so hard and trying the best that i can so make our marriage work, but it didnt. Lots of things that really bothers us. It hurts me so bad, and i know it hurts him too, but we have to divorce for i know this is will make both of us free from any worries, fears , fights that one day , sooner or later for sure we will separate. So, we dont want to spend so much on paper works and in the end it will just fail.

Thank you so much...... I am so glad i found this site.

[Old Dominion 26]

Hello, i am a new member here, a friend of mine introduced this website for she said, this might help me. I am originally from Philippines, and i am here in USA now. I came here with a K-1 Fiancee' visa. And now I am married. Unfortunately, our marriage didnt work out well. Lots of factors that really distruct me and makes me so unhappy. I really hate thinking of divorce but i cant live life like this. I dont know what to do. We already filed our AOS and we are waiting on the result, but i have decided to stop it.

My concern is, what shall i do to clear my marraige here? How can i make the divorce? how long does it usually takes? i want to go home in philippines, but before that i have to clear my marriage first, coz we never know, i will again come back here. No one can tell. I really need your advise and help.

I am praying so hard and trying the best that i can so make our marriage work, but it didnt. Lots of things that really bothers us. It hurts me so bad, and i know it hurts him too, but we have to divorce for i know this is will make both of us free from any worries, fears , fights that one day , sooner or later for sure we will separate. So, we dont want to spend so much on paper works and in the end it will just fail.

Thank you so much...... I am so glad i found this site.

Each state has different laws regarding divorce. You will need to consult with a divorce lawyer. I feel that any marriage involving huge cultural differences goes through a period of intense strain after a few months, especially when the overseas spouse has no choice but to stay at home pending the EAD and drivers' license. I hope the two of you can come up with some plan to make the marriage work.

[Ban Hammer 13,491]

mbc

[pinayinamerica 0]

Each state has different laws regarding divorce. You will need to consult with a divorce lawyer. I feel that any marriage involving huge cultural differences goes through a period of intense strain after a few months, especially when the overseas spouse has no choice but to stay at home pending the EAD and drivers' license. I hope the two of you can come up with some plan to make the marriage work.

THank you so much on your reply, it really touches me. I do really love my hubby so much, but most of the time he dont have much patience and understanding. I am still praying to our Almighty God to save our marriage, we have so much hard time. I am just asking on the possible things to do whenever things went really worst. Thank you really so much. God bless

[myperfectflaw 11]

Aww, sweetie, all marriages take work and multi-cultural marriages take even more so. Have you considered seeing a marriage counselor? Maybe even one that is familiar with your cultural background and upbringing that might help your husband understand and learn to work through some of the differences expected from one another? If you truly love each other, it's worth at least trying it out. Good luck to you!

[pinayinamerica 0]

Aww, sweetie, all marriages take work and multi-cultural marriages take even more so. Have you considered seeing a marriage counselor? Maybe even one that is familiar with your cultural background and upbringing that might help your husband understand and learn to work through some of the differences expected from one another? If you truly love each other, it's worth at least trying it out. Good luck to you!

Thank you my perfectflaw, i am asking your prayers from here. I am just so weak sometimes. I truly give marriage high importance. I am still trying to work things out with him, and i am hoping things wont get worst, for i would surely take divorce even if i dont really like it.

[Honey&Sweety 1]

Hello, i am a new member here, a friend of mine introduced this website for she said, this might help me. I am originally from Philippines, and i am here in USA now. I came here with a K-1 Fiancee' visa. And now I am married. Unfortunately, our marriage didnt work out well. Lots of factors that really distruct me and makes me so unhappy. I really hate thinking of divorce but i cant live life like this. I dont know what to do. We already filed our AOS and we are waiting on the result, but i have decided to stop it.

My concern is, what shall i do to clear my marraige here? How can i make the divorce? how long does it usually takes? i want to go home in philippines, but before that i have to clear my marriage first, coz we never know, i will again come back here. No one can tell. I really need your advise and help.

I am praying so hard and trying the best that i can so make our marriage work, but it didnt. Lots of things that really bothers us. It hurts me so bad, and i know it hurts him too, but we have to divorce for i know this is will make both of us free from any worries, fears , fights that one day , sooner or later for sure we will separate. So, we dont want to spend so much on paper works and in the end it will just fail.

Thank you so much...... I am so glad i found this site.

Welcome to VJ! I am sorry about your situation there. As an old cliche said" Marriage is not a bed of roses", marriage needs a lot of adjustment , talk about your cultural differences and compromise. Before jumping to conclusion to end your marriage you can go to a marriage counselor in your area or you can talk heart to heart with your hubby, might resolve your issues and strengthen your relationship. More importantly pray, and have faith in your relationship "don`t think that later you will separate because of the circumstance you were experiencing". Who know`s you just need more time, to know each other, you may want to show extra care and love to him and be more understanding. Time flies and you will noticed that you save your marriage. Praying for you ! Keep us posted here! God speed!

[pushbrk 13,073]

If there is an AOS interview and no ongoing bona fide marriage relationship, there will be no green card. There's a possibility there will be no AOS interview. In that case the LPR status may be granted and green card issued based on what you've already filed.

Your husband is free to stop the process before it is completed. If he does, there will be no LPR status or green card for you.

[Boiler 45,956]

She does not need one, she is going home.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

She does not need one, she is going home.

Then she just needs to file for divorce, resolve that, and leave.

Simple and easy as pie.

[merlie 0]

Hello, i am a new member here, a friend of mine introduced this website for she said, this might help me. I am originally from Philippines, and i am here in USA now. I came here with a K-1 Fiancee' visa. And now I am married. Unfortunately, our marriage didnt work out well. Lots of factors that really distruct me and makes me so unhappy. I really hate thinking of divorce but i cant live life like this. I dont know what to do. We already filed our AOS and we are waiting on the result, but i have decided to stop it.

My concern is, what shall i do to clear my marraige here? How can i make the divorce? how long does it usually takes? i want to go home in philippines, but before that i have to clear my marriage first, coz we never know, i will again come back here. No one can tell. I really need your advise and help.

I am praying so hard and trying the best that i can so make our marriage work, but it didnt. Lots of things that really bothers us. It hurts me so bad, and i know it hurts him too, but we have to divorce for i know this is will make both of us free from any worries, fears , fights that one day , sooner or later for sure we will separate. So, we dont want to spend so much on paper works and in the end it will just fail.

Thank you so much...... I am so glad i found this site.

[charramal 0]

She does not need one, she is going home.

Then she just needs to file for divorce, resolve that, and leave.

Simple and easy as pie.

how to make pie?

[jom 4]

I am sorry to hear about your situation. You are my countrywoman and I understand how hard it is to adjust being in a different country.

My husband and I were physically together for only two weeks before I arrived here last year. There was no second visit while our K1 petition was in progress because I felt we could save money if he would just wait for me to arrive here. The two weeks that we were together were great but believe me, I still have my anxieties before leaving to relocate here. They say it takes a lifetime to know your partner and thinking about the different cultural upbringing also worried me.

When I arrived here we made an agreement that I will not work within one year of our marriage so we would use that time to be together 24/7. My husband's work covers the south-east region and I travelled with him. He travels 50% and work from home 50% so basically we were together 24/7. During that time, I discovered a lot of things about my husband that I didn't see when we were together for two weeks in the Philippines and vice versa. Good and not so good things because of cultural differences and upbringing. However, we managed to slowly adjust to each other's imperfections. We set some rules like never going to sleep without settling arguments. I have seen a lot of changes in him to adjust to my personality and vice versa but there are also things about him that I can't change but have accepted it. I love my husband even more and marrying him was the best decision I made .

I believe that if you have exerted all efforts to make the marriage work and still unhappy about everything, going home is your best option. Being a Filipino citizen married to an "alien", you are bound by our family laws regarding marriage so that if you will file for divorce here, the same would not be recognized in our courts because we don't recognize divorce . My advice would be to let your husband file the divorce once the two of you have reached a decision. Under our laws, if it is the alien spouse that files the divorce, the same will be recognize in our family courts for purposes of remarriage. Make sure you get a copy of the divorce decree once it it final. When you are already back in the Philippines , file a petition before the family court to recognize the divorce decree obtained by your alien spouse.

My brother-in-law gave a very nice bestman speech during our wedding where he said this " Some find the right love the first time, some the second time and some when it really matters the most" Hang in there and you will find that right love.

Goodluck and you are in my prayers.

Myla

[dolphin1 5]

Each state has different laws regarding divorce. You will need to consult with a divorce lawyer. I feel that any marriage involving huge cultural differences goes through a period of intense strain after a few months, especially when the overseas spouse has no choice but to stay at home pending the EAD and drivers' license. I hope the two of you can come up with some plan to make the marriage work.

You are so right, i ve been there too, when i came here sept 2007 , i didnt work or have a driver licence till august 2008 almost a year, loooooooooooots of problems and fights with my wife, cultural shock,being away from my family, sitting at home all the day.Sadly that whole year infleunced of this relationship with my stupid temper when i get mad, and now we are going to divorce.

[Valsu 1]

Hello, i am a new member here, a friend of mine introduced this website for she said, this might help me. I am originally from Philippines, and i am here in USA now. I came here with a K-1 Fiancee' visa. And now I am married. Unfortunately, our marriage didnt work out well. Lots of factors that really distruct me and makes me so unhappy. I really hate thinking of divorce but i cant live life like this. I dont know what to do. We already filed our AOS and we are waiting on the result, but i have decided to stop it.

My concern is, what shall i do to clear my marraige here? How can i make the divorce? how long does it usually takes? i want to go home in philippines, but before that i have to clear my marriage first, coz we never know, i will again come back here. No one can tell. I really need your advise and help.

I am praying so hard and trying the best that i can so make our marriage work, but it didnt. Lots of things that really bothers us. It hurts me so bad, and i know it hurts him too, but we have to divorce for i know this is will make both of us free from any worries, fears , fights that one day , sooner or later for sure we will separate. So, we dont want to spend so much on paper works and in the end it will just fail.

Thank you so much...... I am so glad i found this site.

I am terribly sorry to hear about your situation. My wife and I are going through something very similar, and I know it's hurting us both very deeply. She is not communicating with me in order to know whether I want to work it out or not.

I really think you should find a way to communicate with your husband, and get professional counseling. I found some counselors where I live, only $80 for a session, and some will even do first visit for free. There should also be a college near you which will have free government paid counselors who can assist you as well.

Your marriage can work, but it will take both of you putting in that equal effort. Things are not the same in the US as in other countries, and here people tend to be impatient and heartless. It's just the nature of things.

Hopefully you guys will not make all of your efforts coming here in vain. See what you can do to work it out with God's guidance, and then return here to give us an update!

God bless!